


The Shadow

by Clexa1205



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Badass Clarke, Blackmail, Canon Universe, Character Death, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:35:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 148,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14245239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clexa1205/pseuds/Clexa1205
Summary: Set three weeks after Clarke leaves Camp Jaha. What if Azgeda captured Clarke? What if instead of taking the power of Wanheda for herself, Queen Nia used it? What happens when Clarke is reunited with Lexa and her friends after two years of being put through hell? Let's find out, shall we...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! This is the first fanfic I've ever written so we'll see how it goes. I never saw myself as someone who would write one of these, but I absolutely love the dynamic between Clarke and Lexa and was devastated by her death. I have been reading a ton of fanfic based around the two of them and I love it. While I was reading, an idea came to me and I really wanted to write it. I'm not even sure if anyone is going to read this story but I just had to write it. If you do enjoy this, please let me know, I'd love to hear from you. If you have any suggestions or anything you really want to see in this story don't be afraid to tell me. I can't promise anything, I already have a lot of this story planned out, but if I can find a way to fit your ideas into my story I will! I'm sorry if my grammar isn't the best, but I'm really going to do my best to minimize mistakes. Sorry for this little rant, I'll let you get to the story now. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks!

The snap of a tree branch caused Clarke to stop in her tracks. It may have only been three weeks since she left Camp Jaha, but Clarke can tell what sounds are natural and what aren’t, and that snap definitely wasn’t natural. She reached to her side and help up her gun in the direction of the sound. She only had two bullets left, so if she took a shot she needed to make it count. She moved quickly and quietly to the cover of a large tree and slowly poked her head around it to get a view of the forest before her. Her eyes scanned the trees, but there was no sign of movement and she didn’t hear anything out of the ordinary. Clarke stayed rooted behind the tree continuing to scan her surroundings for what seemed like hours before she was satisfied that whatever had made the noise had passed.

Clarke lowered her gun, but made sure to keep it in her hand in case it was needed, and she stepped away from the tree. She took a few steps forward, prepared for anything, but nothing happened. She finally relaxed, and that was when two men dropped out of the trees behind her. Clarke whirled around on the two men, both of them wearing blue and grey furs with scars adorning their faces and weapons drawn. As quickly as she could react, Clarke fired a shot hitting the man on the right in the chest, killing him immediately. Before she could turn on the second man, he was on her. His fist connected with her jaw, sending her stumbling backwards as blood started to drip down her chin. She tried to collect herself, but the man stayed on her, delivering a hard punch to the gut. Clarke doubled over as all the oxygen was forced from her lungs and she inhaled deeply trying to hold herself together.

The man’s next move disarmed Clarke, but not before she got a shot off, which dug itself into the man’s leg. He grunted in pain, but the shot didn’t seem to faze him much as he pounced on her, knocking her to the ground. The man landed on top of her and Clarke struggled to move under his body weight. He wrapped his hands around her throat and squeezed. Clarke tried to fight back, using the butt of her gun and slamming it into his massive body, but it didn’t work. The man’s grip on her throat only tightened and black circles started to invade her vision. She continued to fight back, but the black spots quickly took over her vision and she passed out.  
When Clarke awoke she opened her eyes, only to see the inside of a bag. There was a gag in her mouth and her hands were tied behind her back. She was laying on her side and she could feel the heat of a body behind her holding her up on what must be the back of a horse. She tried to sit up, but as she moved, a wave of pain shot through her entire body keeping her down, and before long she was out again.

The second time Clarke awoke she was being pulled off of the horse. She was put on her feet and pushed forward by the man who had taken her. She still had the bag on her head, so she couldn’t see anything but she could hear everything around her. The first thing she noticed was the clashing of metal, she guessed it must be coming from some sort of training ground. She could also hear horses travelling around her and the voices of many people around her all speaking Trigedasleng. She had picked up a few words of the language, but not enough to understand what was being said around her.

Clarke continued to walk forward until her captor stopped her. She could hear him speaking to someone for a moment before she heard the sounds of a door opening and was led forward again. She walked on, guided by her captor until he pulled her to another stop. “Ai bring Wanheda gon the az kwin,” her captor said to who must be another guard. The words made Clarke’s heart drop. She knew little of the grounders language but she recognized two important things. Wanheda, which Clarke had learned was the name given to herself after the destruction of the Mountain Men, and az kwin, the Ice Queen. The Commander had told Clarke stories of the Ice Queen and what she did to Costia. Clarke’s blood boiled at the thought of the Commander, but she quickly calmed herself down. Now was not the time to think of Lexa’s betrayal or the Mountain, not when she was about to be brought before a murderous psychopath of a queen.

Before Clarke had any more time to think she was being pushed forward again. Her body was aching all over, but she still moved forward until she felt a boot collide with the back of her legs sending her down to her knees. Once she was down the sack was lifted off head and the gag was removed. She closed her eyes as she adjusted to the light before she took in her surroundings. She was in a large room lit by a few candles and some sunlight that shone through some windows. The walls were covered with antlers, skulls, bones, furs and a few gorgeously designed weapons. In front of her was a large throne on a dais that was made completely out of what had to be bone. There was a woman sitting in the throne with two guards standing at attention behind her, both heavily armed.

The woman rose from her seat and slowly descended the steps of the dais stopping a few feet in front of Clarke. Her eyes, that must have once been a beautiful blue, were a light grey, and her gaze locked with Clarke’s. Clarke tried to look confident and unafraid as she met the woman’s gaze, but it was like those eyes were piercing into her soul and Clarke knew she looked anything but confident. The woman’s eyes scanned Clarke’s body for a moment before she finally spoke, “So you are Clarke kom Skaikru, Mountain Slayer, the great Wanheda.” She listed off Clarke’s titles and waited for the girl to answer, but Clarke said nothing, doing her best to hold the woman’s stare. “I must say you are not what I expected.”

Again Clarke said nothing, but this time she was met with a punch to the jaw by her captor, who she forgot was standing behind her. “You are not what I expected either Queen Nia,” Clarke spat. No matter Clarke’s anger towards Lexa, what Nia did to Costia was cruel and it angered Clarke that someone would take a life so painfully, so senselessly, and so easily. She had taken many lives in her short time on the ground. She hated herself for it and she didn’t kill unless it was absolutely necessary, but this woman did it for fun.

An evil smirk grew across the woman’s face, “Ah, so my reputation precedes me.”

“I wouldn’t say that’s a good thing,” Clarke shot back, which caused another fist to connect with her jaw. Clarke turned her head and spit blood out of her mouth, “What is it that you want from me?”

“I want to command the Commander of Death,” she said simply. Clarke flinched at the nickname. It was only fitting, she thought, but it still hurt. “My issue however, is that I don’t think you live up to your legend. I need proof of your skill. Proof that you deserve the title of Wanheda.”

“I burned three hundred Trikru warriors alive, and then I burned over three hundred of the Mountain Men. What more proof do you need?” Clarke retorted. She hated saying it. She hated knowing she was responsible for so much death, but she needed to show that she wasn’t afraid. She needed to show that she was calm and confident, even though on the inside she was anything but.

“I need proof that you can fight. Proof that you can kill whoever, whenever. I’m sending you to The Crater. If you can prove yourself to me, then we’ll talk.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll kill you, but not before I kill every last member of Skaikru,” Nia threatened. Before Clarke could respond she was hit on the back of the head and fell unconscious to the ground.

When Clarke woke up she was in a cell. She was laying in the small section of the room for sleeping with one fur covering her body. In the corner opposite from her was a bucket and along one of the walls of the cell was a bookcase filled with books. Clarke slowly sat up and reached for the back of her head where her blood had dried into her hair. She winced as her fingers ran over the cut on her head and she thought back to her conversation with Nia. She had threatened the lives of Skaikru, and wherever the hell The Crater was, she was here now, so Clarke knew she didn’t have much of a choice but to do as Nia said. Clarke slowly got to her feet and walked over to the bookshelf in her cell. Most of the books were written in Trigedasleng, but thankfully for Clarke, there was a book there that translated it to English. Clarke scanned over the first page before a guard arrived outside of her cell and spoke to her, “Learn our language, then our culture. You will need to know everything if you are going to serve our Queen.”

Clarke turned to the man standing on the other side of the cell bars, “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said. “What is this place?”

“This is The Crater. Our Queen uses it as entertainment for some, a training ground for some, a punishment for others. You will be put into different matches with different people, each match a fight to the death,” he informed her. He then reached into his pocket and unlocked the door to her cell, “Your first match is soon, I must prepare you.” He entered the cell and tied Clarke’s hands behind her back, in doing so, giving Clarke a good view of his face. The man had scars across his cheeks and forehead, which Clarke had learned was a symbol of those in the Ice Nation. His face was clean shaven and his long hair was tied back. He wore blue and grey furs just like Clarke’s captor had worn, and he was well armed. Clarke followed the man, knowing she had no chance of escape, and was led into another room. There was a table in the room with some light armor, a sword, and a few bowls. The man sat Clarke down in a chair in front of the table and he reached for one of the bowls. “The people here do not need to know that Wanheda is among them. We must disguise you,” he said as he dipped his hands into one of the bowls. He then proceeded to cover Clarke’s hair with the bowls contents, turning her hair a dark red. When he finished he stepped away and motioned towards a pile of armored clothing, “Change. I will be back momentarily.”

The man left and Clarke sat alone in the room. She didn’t take Nia’s threat lightly so she did as she was told, changing into the blue and grey armor that was provided for her. She used this opportunity to assess her wounds she had obtained previously. There was a gash on the back of her head, but it had stopped bleeding and wasn’t too bad, and she had some bruising around her neck. There was also a nasty purple bruise covering her torso, but she relieved to have no cracked ribs. Her body still ached, but there was nothing she could do and she knew it was only going to get worse, so she sucked it up.

When she was done changing the guard entered the room again, “This way. Your first fight starts now.”

Clarke grabbed the sword provided for her from the table and followed the man out of the room and down a hallway full of more caged prisoners and a lot of guards. There was no escaping this place. The guard led Clarke down another long hallway before stopping before a metal door. Light was pouring in from the sunlight outside and Clarke could hear cheering from the other side. “So what happens now?” Clarke asked.

“A fight to the death,” was all the man said. Clarke could feel her heart beating faster in her chest. She didn’t know how to fight, and even if she did, she didn’t want to kill anyone. She was still haunted by the deaths of so many people, she couldn’t add any more to the list. Before Clarke had any time to protest, the guard was opening the door and pushing Clarke through it.

Clarke stepped out into the light and she suddenly understood why this place was called The Crater. She was standing in a giant crater in the ground and it was surrounded by a bunch of cheering grounders all watching her. The ground around her was stained red from all the blood that had been spilt there, and there was no way out. Clarke’s breathing increased to an extremely fast pace. This was disgusting, all these people staring at her, cheering for her, expecting her to kill. She was starting to panic, but she didn’t have much of a choice here. She closed her eyes for a moment to slow down her breathing, but opened them when the cheers around her grew louder. She looked across the crater and saw that her opponent had just entered. The man was huge, scars covering his face, arms, and legs. He held a sword in his hand, the tip of it already covered in blood from what must have been a previous fight.

Once the cheering quieted down a little bit the man charged at her. Clarke was just barely able to move out of the way of his first strike, moving quickly to her left. The man turned and was on her again, bringing his sword down towards her head, and Clarke just barely got her sword up in time to block his. She blocked his attack and moved to her right, creating some space between her and her opponent. She watched him turn and she noticed him wince as he moved to look at her. A thought came to her, if this man already had a bloody sword then he had already been in a fight, and with that wince, he must have been injured. Clarke’s eyes roamed his body before she noticed a tear in the fabric of the man’s clothes and wound that had a decent flow of blood still pouring out from it. That was her opening, her only shot at winning this fight and she knew it. Clarke took a few steps forward and tried to use the man’s injury against him but her inexperience with a sword or fighting in general cost her. As she tried to take out the man’s injured leg, she left an opening in her defense, and the man made a shallow cut across her stomach. The crowd cheered at the sight of the first blood and Clarke stumbled backwards.

The man was quick to jump on Clarke’s instability and he lashed out with his sword cutting into the flesh along her leg, knocking her to the ground. Clarke yelped in pain as she felt blood pour out of the gash on her leg and she watched as the monster of a man stood towering over her, preparing to deliver the final blow, but he was too cocky. He thought this was going to be an easy finish. He wanted to put on a show and it cost him. Clarke brought the hilt of her sword to the man’s knee and a gut wrenching crack was heard before the sound was covered up by the man’s howl of pain. Clarke quickly jumped to her feet, ignoring the pain in her leg, and without any hesitation, slammed her sword into the man’s chest. The crowd was silent for a moment, stunned by the turn of events, before they erupted in cheers for her victory.

Clarke fell down onto one knee, taking the pressure off of her injured leg. She watched as a group of guards entered the crater picking up the body and carrying it out before someone came to her side and helped her walk out of the crater. She was taken to another room where she was given some supplies to treat her injuries. She cleaned and wrapped her wounds and then she was brought back to her cell.

She sat on her cot for a while before her guard appeared outside her cell. “Rest well, it only gets harder from here,” he said. “Read the books provided to you and prepare. Tomorrow is a new day and a new challenger awaits.” Once he finished speaking he was gone.

Clarke did as she was told. She rested and cared for her injuries, read the books provided to her, and prepared every night for her next fight. Each fight was different. There were different weapons, some used no weapons, different styles of fighters, different numbers of opponents, the only constant was that it was a fight to the death. Clarke stayed in her cell, learning how to fight, how to fight through pain, she learned Trigedasleng and a lot about the grounders culture.

She spent four months in the same cell, going through the same routine. It was extremely early morning and Clarke was lost in one of the books she was reading. She wasn’t fluent yet in Trigedasleng, but she was getting there. She didn’t sleep much in her cell as her sleep was marred by nightmares of memories from the mountain, including a pair of haunting green eyes, and those that she had killed in The Crater, so she spent most of her time reading. She was almost finished with one of her books when her guard, she had learned his name was Ryne, came to the cell. “It is time for your final challenge,” he said.

Clarke looked up from where she was reading, “Final Challenge?”

“You have done well in The Crater. Queen Nia is impressed. She has one more challenge for you and if you succeed, you will be freed from here,” he informed her as he unlocked the door to her cell.

Clarke got up from where she was sitting and returned her book to the shelf. She was already wearing her armor, so she didn’t need to do anything to get ready. Ryne led her out of the cell and to the weapons room where Clarke chose her usual sword and an extra dagger. When she was armed she was led to entrance of the arena. She took a deep breath, “What do I have to do for this challenge?”

“You will face a beast unlike any other. If you can kill it, then you will be freed from this place. If not, then you will die a very painful death,” Ryne said.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Sounds great.” Ryne smirked at her before preparing to open the door to release her into the arena. “Good luck Wanheda,” he said. Clarke nodded once before the door was opened and Clarke stepped out. Immediately she went to assess her surroundings. It was early out, the sun not yet fully risen, and there weren’t as many spectators as usual. She scanned the area for her opponent, but she saw no one.

Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement. She turned to face her opponent and her eyes widened. Her opponent wasn’t a human, it was a black panther, bigger than any she had ever seen. It was hunched over something and hadn’t noticed her yet. Clarke took a tentative step forward and she realized that the beast was crouched over a body, pulling the flesh from the bone with its powerful jaw. Clarke felt sick. The beast had killed this warrior and didn’t look to have a scratch on it and if she wasn’t careful, she would share in its prey’s fate.

As Clarke approached the beast it froze, sensing her presence behind it. It lifted its head from its meal and turned to face her. Clarke swallowed thickly as she met the beasts eyes and they stayed locked on each other. “Okay, you can do this,” Clarke said to herself. “One more kill and you are out of here.”

Once Clarke was ready she made her first move to step towards the panther and it followed suit, making its way towards her. When they met, she lunged forward, hoping to gut it, but instead of meeting flesh her sword met air. Before Clarke could do anything else, she felt a searing pain across her back. The beast had swiped her with his claws leaving three scratch marks down her back. Clarke held back her cry of pain and she turned to face the beast quickly, just barely dodging its next attack in the process.

Clarke had been in that arena for what felt like hours, but in reality was only minutes before she had her opportunity. During the fight she had cut into one of the panther’s legs and had left a gash along its side, all while avoiding anymore damage. She was looking good, until the panther jumped at her and Clarke lost her grip on her sword. It fell away from her body and she was just barely able to avoid a fatal strike from the beast’s paws. She quickly pulled out her dagger and faced the beast, knowing there was only one thing left that she could do. She kept her grip tight on her dagger and she stood still allowing the panther to stalk closer towards her. When it jumped at her again, she held up the dagger, burying it into its chest as it took her down. Clarke could feel the beast stop moving on top of her and she rolled the deadweight off. “Yu gonplei ste odon,” she whispered to the beast, just like she had to every one of her opponents, as some of the guards came out to remove the beast. Clarke watched as they lifted it and carried it away, and the sounds of the cheering crowds started to register in her ears. She hated when they cheered her for killing, but it was something she was growing used to. Clarke turned around when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Ryne was standing behind her a small smile on his face. He led her back to her cell and provided her with some extra materials to clean her wounds, “Queen Nia will see to your release shortly,” he said. “I am glad to have met you Wanheda.”

Clarke extended her arm to Ryne, “Thank you, for all the help you were able to provide me,” she said as he grasped her arm just below the elbow. He nodded and walked away, leaving her to her cell.

A little while later, a different guard appeared and opened the door, “The Queen has requested your presence,” he said and he tied her hands behind her back. Clarke put up no struggle as she let the guard tie her and lead her out of The Crater. He led her onto his horse and he took the lead, leading them both away from where Clarke had spent the last four months. After hours of travelling they arrived in the Azgeda capitol which Clarke had learned was called Saipan. She was led into what she believed to be the queen’s stronghold and was brought into the room where she first met Nia. This meeting was much the same, although there was no bag over her head. Clarke was forced onto her knees before Nia’s throne with Nia sitting proudly upon it, “Survival in The Crater is not easy,” Nia said. “I am impressed.”

Clarke met the woman’s eyes, a fire burning deep within them, but she did her best to restrain her anger. “What do you want from me now?”

“I told you earlier, I wanted to use you to command death. You are going to be trained by my greatest assassin and I intend for you to become an even greater one than he is. You will follow my lead as your Queen and you will do whatever is asked of you. You will kill whoever I asked you to,” Nia said, sitting up a little straighter in her throne.

Clarke felt her blood boil and she couldn’t help but let her anger show, “I will never do that. I will not become an assassin and I will never follow you.”

“Oh but you will,” Nia smirked. “Your people will all die if you don’t.”

This time it was Clarke’s turn to smile. She had learned something from Ryne that she was waiting for the right time to use. “You won’t attack Skaikru. I learned while I was in The Crater that Skaikru has joined the coalition. If you attack them, then you will be at war with all the other clans.”

Clarke felt confident. Nia’s army was powerful, but not powerful enough to face the rest of the coalition. If she wanted to kill Clarke fine, but she would never serve her. Clarke stared at Nia looking for any sign of anger or frustration from the woman, but when a smile tugged at her lips, Clarke felt her stomach drop. “That is true, Skaikru has very recently joined the coalition, and I would be a fool to attack them with my army. However there is a way for me to kill them all without it having to look like Azgeda was involved.” Nia nodded to one of her guards who was standing by the door. He left the room quickly and shortly returned with another man behind him. Clarke’s blood ran cold. “Emerson,” she whispered.

Emerson smirked at her as he walked closer to Nia’s throne. He bowed at her before he turned to face Clarke. Nia stood from her throne and moved to stand beside him. “The last mountain man showed up a while ago asking for my help. He wanted refuge and he wanted someone to help him make you suffer. In return he will supply me with the launch codes for the last remaining missile inside of the mountain.” Clarke’s heart was pounding in her chest, all sense of hope leaving her as Nia continued, “All he has to do is enter the code and a missile will be launched directly at Arkadia, obliterating everyone within its walls.”

Clarke wanted to throw up. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, but she could do none of that. The only thing left for her to do was follow Nia’s orders. She closed her eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. “You have my service,” Clarke said and she bowed her head slightly. Nia and Emerson both laughed before Nia returned to her throne. “The first thing about assassins is they must grow accustomed to pain, and they must learn to keep their mouths shut. Once you learn these skill, then you will be trained.” Nia looked to one of her guards standing beside the door, “Take her away,” she ordered.

Clarke felt the man arrive behind her and he lifted her to her feet, then guided her out of the room and out of the stronghold. He led her through Saipan until he came up to a tall, dark looking building and led her inside. When she entered the room the first thing she noticed was the smell. Blood, burning flesh, and death. She felt bile rise in the back of her throat and just barely managed to hold it down. The guard led Clarke up a spiral staircase and he led her into a room. The walls of the room were stained with blood and there were multiple weapons strewn all around. The guard moved and chained Clarke to the wall, without saying a word, and then he disappeared.  
Clarke took stock of the room, but she knew it was pointless. She couldn’t escape even if she wanted to, so she might as well get comfortable. It wasn’t long until a woman entered the room. Her face held the usual scars of Azgeda, but that wasn’t what was so scary about her. It was her eyes. They were grey, cold, and empty. Clarke watched as the woman stalked towards her, but not before she grabbed a small blade.

The worst three months of Clarke’s life started from there. Every day she was tortured. She was cut, stabbed, poisoned, burned, branded, whipped, and anything else one could possibly think to use to cause pain. The point of the torture, she had learned, was to prevent an assassin from talking if they were ever captured. The woman, Severna, would consistently torture her all while asking Clarke questions about Skaikru. If Clarke talked, they would give her a day of rest, with no pain, but then the next day it would start again and the torture would be even worse than it was before. Clarke quickly learned not to talk, and eventually, she even learned not to scream. It was a waste of breath. To make it even worse, they not only tortured her physically, but mentally. They talked about the mountain, all the lives she had taken, and she was constantly tortured by her nightmares. She was now at the point where nothing mattered. She felt dead inside. The Clarke she once was no longer existed, and now the only thing she could do was endure the pain, do what was asked of her, and keep Skaikru safe.

After three months of this, Clarke was empty, and Nia knew it. That was when she was released from hell. Instead of Severna coming in and continuing her torture, she was met with a man who released her from her chains. She fell hard to her knees, a slight whimper escaping her lips, before she was hauled back to her feet. “I am Dak. You are to be my second until you are ready. Come, I will show you to where you will be staying. You will be given some time to recover, and then our training begins.” Clarke followed behind Dak, limping the whole way and wincing with every step. She followed him out of the building and was led all through the capitol until they made it to a partitioned off area of Saipan. She was led into one of the few buildings in that area and given a room. Clarke spent a week in that room sleeping, awake only to eat or relieve herself. Once that week past, Dak returned to her room, “Training begins today,” he said and he handed her some black armor. It was different from the usual grey and blue of the Azgeda warriors, so she assumed black was for the assassins. She changed into the clothes quickly before she met Dak outside. He led her to a training ring that was empty which was strange. “Assassins train in private,” Dak said, answering the question she hadn’t voiced. Dak handed her a sword and they spent the rest of the day training. Clarke quickly learned that what she had to do in The Crater was childsplay. In the back of her mind she had already known that. Most of her opponents were older, injured or crippled, or seemed like they had never held a sword before, which is why she was able to succeed against most of them with such little training. The work she did with Dak was intense and she found herself with a lot of new injuries, though she felt little pain from them after everything she had been through.

After hours of hard nonstop training, Clarke made her way back to her room. She opened her door to find a man standing out on her balcony. Clarke pulled out her dagger, and quietly approached the man from behind. Just as she was about to lunge, he turned and was able to quickly disarm her. “Nice try Wanheda,” he said, “but you have not yet mastered the skill of moving silently.”

“Who are you?” Clarke asked as the man released her. He was wearing the usual blue and grey furs and he had a half moon scar on both sides of his face. He had a very short beard, if you could call it that, and his long brown hair was pulled back behind his head. “I am Prince Roan kom Azgeda, and I am a prisoner here, just like you.”

“Why would the Prince of Azgeda be a prisoner? And what are you doing in my room?” She asked.

“I wanted to meet the great Wanheda. As to why I am a prisoner, that is a story for another time. I just wanted to make my introduction, I will be leaving now,” he said and he left her balcony and exited the room. Clarke watched him leave before she moved back inside and prepared herself for bed.

Clarke spent five months training with Dak. He taught her every skill that an assassin would need to know, and Clarke picked up on all of it rather quickly. She had also spent some time with Roan and the two of them had surprisingly grown quite friendly. She had learned that Roan was imprisoned because he disagreed with his mother’s ideals. To keep him in line she captured his love and his son, threatening their lives if he didn’t obey.

Clarke was in her room preparing for her trial. Dak had told Queen Nia that she was skilled enough to take the trials and become a full fledged assassin and today was the day Nia would test his assessment. Clarke got herself ready, wearing the form fitting black uniform of an assassin and made sure that all of her blades were well placed on her body. When she was finished she sat down on her bed and thought over the previous five months. Not only had she grown close with Roan, but her and Dak had developed somewhat of a relationship. Clarke thought back to one night in particular where the two had grown close:

It was month three of their training. Clarke was taken out to watch Dak complete an assigned mission. He was sent to kill someone who spoke ill of Queen Nia in one of Azgeda’s poorer villages. The mission was completed easily, Dak killing the man in his sleep, with no witnesses to come by. That night Clarke had been asleep in her tent, Dak sitting out by the campfire when he heard her screaming. Clarke was having a usual nightmare, but it was the first time she had made it known to anyone that she suffered from them. Dak and Clarke had already started to become friends, and Dak decided he needed to go wake her. He entered her tent and found Clarke tossing and turning. She was drenched in sweat and she was crying out. Dak sat down behind her and woke her slowly, pulling her up and into his embrace. She woke with a start, her breathing heavy, and it took awhile for her to finally calm down. “I get them too,” Dak said after a while of silence.

Clarke looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. “I am not a fan of killing, although I have learned to accept it. As you know all healthy men and women are forced into Queen Nia’s army. She saw me training and believed that I had the skills to be an assassin, and she trained to be who I am today. I see the faces of every person whose life I take in my sleep.”

“Then why do you do it?” Clarke asked.

“She threatened the lives of everyone I cared about, which I am assuming she is doing to you.”

Clarke nodded, “She will kill all of my people if I don’t follow her.” A silence grew between them before Clarke spoke again, “You said you have learned to accept killing. How?”

Dak took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, before he spoke, “Death is a part of life. It will happen to everyone eventually. The good thing about it is that death is not the end. When Queen Nia orders that someone be killed, they will be killed. If she ordered me to do it and I refused, she would not only kill who I was supposed to kill in the most painful, brutal way possible, but she will also torture me and those I care about. At least this way I can kill her target in a peaceful way. I can send their spirit on to the next life where they won’t be in danger from Nia and they will be at peace. To prevent my targets from feeling pain, I kill all my targets in their sleep, which is why I was given the name Dream Eater.” All assassins have specific names that relate to how they kill or any identifying characteristics in the way they look in order to protect their real identity and those they care about. “I have learned not to feel anything when I kill, and I find a way to take what little pleasure I can in knowing the dead’s spirit will move on. You will learn to deal with it as well.”

“I hope not,” Clarke said quietly, but still loud enough for Dak to hear. She didn’t ever want to be okay with killing someone. If she was going to do it, she was going to feel it.

He was still holding her up against his chest, but she hadn’t tried to move yet so Dak assumed the position they were in was alright. He adjusted his hold on her just a little before asking her his next question, “Do you want to tell me what you were dreaming about?”

Clarke was silent for a while, just breathing in and out slowly before she spoke, “Death, The Crater, Mount Weather, The Commander,” she spat out the last part.

“I know about the deal she made,” Dak said feeling the blonde tense up at his words, “and I know you have a lot of anger towards her. I understand that she betrayed you, but you are smart Clarke. You know that she did what she had to do for your people. Why are you still angry with her?” Dak was not a big supporter of The Commander, but he didn’t dislike her either. In his opinion what The Commander had done on Mount Weather saved a lot of people. It may not have been the most fair thing to do to Skaikru, but as a leader it was a wise decision. Clarke had to know that.

“She left my people to die. She left me to die. We had a plan, a plan that would have worked, but she just walked away,” Clarke sneered.

“Yes she did, but in the process she saved all of her people. How many of her people do you think would have died had you fought? With accepting the deal, The Commander was able to save all of her people with no bloodshed.” Clarke listened intently to Dak’s words. Deep down she knew he was right. She had made a smart decision, a decision to save all of her people. If Clarke was being honest, if she was in that position, she might have made the same choice, but she couldn’t help but feel angry. Lexa had left her people and left her without a second thought.

Clarke sighed, “I’m not sure if I can forgive her.”

“Forgiveness is not an easy thing to give, but Clarke, holding a grudge, being angry is not a wise choice. I can tell that you are not the type of person to hate anyone. Being angry does you no good, especially when it is over something that cannot be changed. You do not have to forgive her but just, think about it,” Dak said. Clarke only nodded, not trusting her voice in that moment and a yawn escaped her lips. Dak smiled and released his hold on her. “Go back to sleep Clarke. I will keep your demons away tonight.”

Clarke sat on her bed and remembered that she had actually slept through the night that night. As the memory finished playing out in her mind she thought about Lexa. It had taken some time, but she was actually able to hear and think about The Commander’s name without getting angry. She wasn’t sure if she had totally forgiven Lexa, but she was getting there.

All of a sudden a knock on the door snapped Clarke out of her thoughts. A second later, the door opened and Dak entered, “It is time,” he said and Clarke followed him out of the room. She walked down the hallway of the building she lived in. Roan was leaning up against the wall, his arms crossed across his chest and his usual smirk on his face. “Good luck Clarke,” he said, remembering not to call her Wanheda per Clarke’s request. She accepted his wishes of luck and continued to follow Dak out of the room.

When they arrived to their destination, Nia was standing there with Emerson on her right and a few guards around them. She handed Clarke a piece of paper, “Here is your assignment. If you successfully complete this mission then you will finally be recognized as a member of Azgeda and you will be my personal assassin. Dak will watch everything you do during this trial, but he will provide no help for you. I hope you have paid attention during your training. Do not fail me,” Nia ordered.

Clarke bowed her head before she left to read her assignment. Her job was to travel to Sankru and kill one of their diplomats who opposed Nia. The trip to the Sankru village was short, just over a day. Clarke entered the village where her target lived with Dak beside her. She entered the village at night with a cloak used to cover her hair and face, to avoid the eyes of anyone who would see her. Clarke chose to stay hidden using rooftops and shadows to travel throughout the village before she found her target.

The man was in his home, which was well guarded as it should be for a man of his position. It looked like was going to remain inside for the night, so Clarke knew that she would have to sneak past all the guards to get inside and finish the job.

Luckily for Clarke, she had learned how to move silently and she was very good at using shadows to hide herself. She moved quickly but carefully, easily sneaking past all of the guards and into the house. Her target was in his bed already and Clarke carefully snuck into his room. What she was unprepared for was the guard that was posted inside the man’s room. It was strange for a guard to be inside the room of the man they guarded instead of outside. This guy must be really paranoid, she thought. She changed up her point of entry and went back outside the building and climbed into the man’s room through the window. She used the shadows for cover as she creeped closer to her targets sleeping form. The guard in the room was clearly not paying very close attention as Clarke approached her target.

Everything happened quickly from there. She killed the man quickly, a knife to the throught, just like she had killed Atom all those months ago. The man let out a strained noise as he choked on his own blood. The guard shot over to his side, but it was too late. He was clearly shocked that this had happened while he was in the room, and he scanned the room for the killer. He didn’t see anyone until he saw a slight movement from the corner of his eye, but it was too late. The assassin had escaped out of the window. The guard inside called out to the others on patrol, but it was too late, Clarke had escaped.

That night was not a good night for Clarke. Sure, she had killed before, but not like that. She felt sick, but what choice did she have. Her people would die if she didn’t and Dak was right, at least she could send him off peacefully. When morning came Dak and Clarke prepared to leave. They stayed hidden, knowing that it would be difficult for newcomers to leave when a man was just assassinated. That was when they heard the rumors. The villagers and guards were saying that an assassination had occured. The assassin had snuck into a heavily fortified area and killed their target with a guard in the room. It was like he was killed by a shadow.

When Clarke and Dak returned to Saipan that was exactly what Dak told Nia. Clarke was then given the name The Shadow and she was now considered to be an assassin as opposed to an assassin in training. She was accepted as a member of Azgeda, but not given any scars, as assassins did not mark their faces to hide their clan affiliations. Clarke didn’t think it was necessary anyway as most of her body was already marked with scars that she could say made her Azgeda. From that day, Clarke was given a little more freedom. She was able to train on her own and leave her room more often. She continued to spend time with Dak and Roan and she really only ever left to complete and assignment for Nia. Tales of The Shadow started to spread to the villages that she was involved with and she hardened herself even more. Death didn’t affect her much. It was a part of life. She would still see those she killed in her dreams, but other than that she accepted it. What other choice did she have but to accept it? This was her life now, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm glad you seem to have liked the first chapter! This next chapter is much shorter than the first and I figured I'd get it out here sooner rather than later. It's not the most exciting chapter, but I feel like it was important for me to describe the events in this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy!

“Grounders!” One of the members of the guard posted on the wall shouted. He raised his gun, and aimed it towards the small army that was approaching the gates of Arkadia.

Kane walked up towards the man and used the scope of his gun to get a better look. “It’s The Commander,” he said, recognizing the grounder who was at the front of the army. “Lower your weapons and open the gates. Someone find the Chancellor and then send Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Raven, and Sergeant Miller to the Council Room.” The guards followed Kane’s orders as Kane climbed down to meet the new arrivals at the gate. 

It didn’t take long until Abby was beside him, “What do you think they want?” 

“I don’t know,” Kane said with the shake of his head. “Remember Abby, we still have an alliance with them. I know what The Commander did to us, to Clarke, but we are on their land. We need to be civil.”

Abby narrowed her eyes as she watched The Commander dismount her horse. “I know,” she said to him. He reached out and gently squeezed her arm in a show of comfort before dropping his arm back down by his side. Lexa, Indra, and Ryder were the three to approach the camp, the other grounders with them staying outside. “Commander,” Abby said as the three grounders approached.

“Chancellor, it is good to see you,” Lexa said.

“I wish I could say the same,” Abby shot back. She heard Indra snarl from behind Lexa, but Lexa held her back from doing anything. Kane gave Abby a stern look, so she calmed down and tried to be civil, “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“I came to speak with you about forging a stronger alliance between our people. It has been three months since the fall of the mountain and we have left you in peace, however my people view you as a threat. I would like to talk to you about that,” she said, her calm, in-control commander mask fully in place.

Abby knew she should accept the request and allow The Commander to at least say her piece, but she was so angry, “We’ve been fine here on our own. We don’t need to create any more of an alliance than what we already have.”

Indra made another growl of annoyance and reached for her sword and was again stopped by Lexa, “You would benefit from this alliance Chancellor. You do not know the ground as we do. We can help you. I can also assist you in helping to find Clarke.”

Abby’s eyes snapped to Lexa’s at that, “What do you know about Clarke?”

“My scouts saw her leave the day the mountain fell, but unfortunately that is all I know. My people know this land better than yours do Chancellor. If we form a stronger alliance, I can help you find her,” Lexa offered.

Abby opened her mouth to speak, but Kane cut her off, “Why don’t we talk about this in a more private setting,” he said. “I already had the members of the council gather to talk.” Abby nodded and her and Kane led Lexa, Indra, and Ryder through the camp and into the metal structure of the Ark. They weaved their way through some hallways until they came up to the council room, already filled with the people Kane had asked for.

“What is she doing here? Bellamy growled as Lexa and her guards entered the room.

“I am here to discuss a stronger alliance between my people and Skaikru,” Lexa said plainly.

“What do you mean by stronger alliance?” Kane asked.

Lexa turned to meet Kane’s eyes. She had always liked him. He truly seemed to want peace and didn’t seem to have the same dislike towards her people as most of Skaikru did. “I want your people to become my people. I want Skaikru to become the thirteenth clan.”

Everyone in the room stared at her in a stunned silence before Raven spoke up, “What does that mean. We follow you?” She asked, the idea clearly not one that she liked.

“Your people would obey my laws. If there was ever an issue between other clans you would come to me, but otherwise you are free to govern yourselves as you please. This is the only way that my people will accept yours. If you are not one of us then you are a threat to us, and threats need to be wiped out.”

“Is that a threat?” Bellamy asked, straightening up in his seat.

“No, it is a warning. My people can help yours. We can teach you to farm, to hunt, to build, and we know this land best. We can help you find Clarke,” Lexa offered.

Bellamy stood up from his seat and glared at her, “We wouldn’t need your help to find her if you hadn’t betrayed us,” he said. Kane put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a look that told him to sit down and stop talking. He did, but he clearly wasn’t happy about it.

“So if we agree to this, you’ll help our people and we will not be in any danger? You will help us with everything we need as long as we follow you and your laws?” Kane asked.

Lexa simply nodded. Kane turned to Abby and the two seemed to have a silent conversation with each other. “What do we need to do?” Abby asked to the surprise of most in the room.

“Come with me to Polis. There you will be formally inducted into the coalition and then we can talk about how we can best benefit each other,” Lexa said.

“I have two requests,” Abby said.

“Name them.”

“First, I want search parties looking for Clarke as quickly as possible. I have been searching these last few months but nothing has come up,” Abby said.

“I already have a few of my own men, who volunteered, searching, but I can't force my people to search for her. I can send more when we come to an agreement,” Lexa said. She had been searching for Clarke ever since she found out she ran away, but so far she had nothing. “What else?”

“Lift the kill order off of Lincoln.”

“Done,” Lexa said without thought, causing an angered grunt from Indra, but nothing else.

“When do we leave?” Kane asked.

“As quickly as you can get ready. You may take a small group with you although I do not have enough horses for more than six people,” Lexa said. “Meet me out by the horses when you are ready.”

Lexa, Indra, and Ryder left leaving then left, leaving the council alone. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Bellamy asked.

“She’s right, they know this land better than we do. There is a lot they can teach us,” Kane said.

“Come on Bellamy. I know you don’t trust them, but this is the best decision for our people,” Octavia said with a smile that she has had on her face ever since Lexa agreed to lift the kill order.

“Fine,” Bellamy agreed, and they stayed in the room to hash out a few more details before those who were leaving were packed.

Abby, Kane, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, and Raven met Lexa and her small army outside the gates. Sergeant Miller and Sinclair were left in control of Arkadia while they would be away. Lexa led the horses over to the group and they all mounted easily, except for Raven who needed a little help from Ryder thanks to her leg. When she was settled, the group headed off to Polis.

They travelled for about two days before they made it to Polis. Lexa couldn’t help but smile at the look of shock on the faces of the Skaikru when they arrived. They were all staring at Polis Tower, the most eye catching part of Polis, with wide eyes. When they entered through the front gate, the people in the markets all started to move towards their Heda. They reached out to her, called her name, they praised her. It was surprising for all of the Skaikru to see how reverently these people looked at her. The Skaikru looked all around Polis trying to take everything in at once. There were so many people, there was so much life, it came as a little bit of a shock to most of them. “I think joining the coalition is a good idea,” Kane said to Abby, seeing just how good life was for these people. Abby simply nodded. She wasn’t thrilled with the idea of working with Lexa again, but she knew this was the best, safest option for her people, and it was her best chance at finding Clarke.

The Commander led the group to the tower before she dismounted, “Ryder will take you all to your rooms. Tomorrow night you will be accepted into the coalition and then we will talk more.” Ryder led the Skaikru up to their rooms. It was like nothing they ever could have imagined. The six of them spent the rest of the night traveling around Polis, eating food, and having a pretty good time. Most of them weren't happy about working with Lexa, but they couldn’t help themselves in enjoying the mood and life of Polis.

The next day, in the morning, the group saw more of Polis, and later they had some of the handmaidens prepare them for the ceremony. At dusk it was time. The ceremony was held in the throne room. There were representatives from all twelve clans there, and they were all standing in a semi-circle before the throne. The Skaikru took their places on the far end of the room and then the ceremony began. Lexa came into the throne room looking as powerful as ever. She stood before her throne, Indra on her right, a bald man with a long flowing robe on the left. Lexa nodded her head towards a woman who was standing off to the side. 

With the nod, she began to sing. It was all in Trigedasleng, so Skaikru had no idea what was being said, but they seemed to be just as entranced as everyone else was by the haunting melody. When the song ended, Lexa spoke, “Hail warriors of the twelve clans.”

“Hail commander of the blood,” the room responded as they all dropped down to a knee, Skaikru slowly kneeling as well.

Lexa let them remain for a moment before speaking again, “Rise.” Everyone in the room returned to their feet. “We welcome Skaikru to our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony. The reason of this summit is to initiate Skaikru into the coalition,” hushed whispers spread out across the room, but most of them didn’t seem to be angry by the idea of Skaikru joining them. “To symbolize this union, the leader of Skaikru must bear our mark,” Lexa said as she turned to the Skaikru.

Kane looked to Abby to step forward, but Abby turned to face him, “The honor should be yours,” she said. She knew that peace with the grounders would better be maintained through Marcus. She also wanted to focus on finding Clarke and just being a doctor. Kane looked into Abby’s eyes for a moment before he nodded his head. He looked up to Lexa, who nodded once, and he took a step forward. “Present your arm,” Lexa said, and Kane did as he was told. The grounder beside him pulled a white-hot brand out of the fire that was beside him and pressed it to Marcus’s forearm. Marcus made a quiet hiss of pain, but that was the only sign of his discomfort. When the brand was removed, Kane took a step back to stand beside Abby again. “We welcome you, Skaikru, to the coalition. Tomorrow we will talk, tonight we will celebrate.”

With that the room was dismissed to join the feast that had been prepared outside. Marcus and Abby found themselves talking to a few of the ambassadors or leaders of other clans, Octavia and Raven found themselves getting drunk and Lincoln and Bellamy were keeping an eye on them. 

Lexa stayed in her throne room after everyone cleared out, the only person staying with her in the room was the bald man. “Are you sure this is a good idea Heda? Skaikru are more like the Mountain Men then us.”

“The Mountain Men are dead, Titus,” Lexa said. “Thanks to them we are free of that threat. The knowledge they have will be beneficial to our people and it is the only way to prevent a war.”

“I hope you know what you are doing,” he said to her.

“I do,” she replied before she stood up from her throne and left.

The next morning the clan leaders and their ambassadors all met in Lexa’s throne room. When the Skaikru entered, the room went silent for a moment and stared, but before long everyone returned to their conversations. “Well that wasn’t awkward,” Raven said. She got a few smiles from Kane, Lincoln, and Octavia, but Bellamy and Abby seemed to be too uncomfortable with their current position to find relief in Raven's attempts at humor.

The Skaikru all stood alone together in the room until a woman with brown curly hair walked up to them and introduced herself, “I am Luna. Heda kom floudonkru.”

“Boat People,” Octavia translated.

“It is a pleasure to meet you Skaikru. I am sorry Wanheda could not be here with you. I would have liked to meet he,” Luna paused. “I just wanted to thank you for what you did at   
the mountain. You saved a lot of our people. Many of us here are grateful for that.” 

“We’re just happy they aren’t a threat to anyone anymore,” Kane said with a smile. Before they could say anything else, Lexa, Titus, and Indra entered the room. Everyone split up to be by their separate clans and the meeting began. It was a lot of political talk, which was to be expected. It only seemed like there were a couple of clans who were unhappy with the presence of Skaikru. The others seemed interested in what they had to offer. By the time Lexa had called the meeting to an end, Skaikru had agreed to share some of their healing techniques and technology in return for some hunting and farming techniques. Lexa dismissed the room, all except for Skaikru. “You all did well today,” she complimented.

Kane smiled in reply, “Thank you for accepting us Commander. I think it will be beneficial for both of our people.”

Lexa nodded, “I agree.” Then she turned to Abby, “I have already created and dispatched some more of my scouts. They will look for Clarke.”

“Thank you,” Abby said. “We’re going to need to return to Arkadia soon to speak with our people about everything,” Abby said to both Kane and Lexa.

“Yes I understand. You will however, need to leave behind an ambassador to speak for Skaikru while the Chancellor is not here,” Lexa said.

Kane went over his options. Both him and Abby were needed in Arkadia and Bellamy was obviously not a good choice. “Octavia, Lincoln, would you both be willing to stay and represent Skaikru?”

Both of them agreed easily. Octavia never felt at home in Arkadia, but she did with the grounders. It was an easy choice for her, especially with Lincoln’s kill order lifted.

“Absolutely not,” Bellamy cut in.

Octavia glared at him, “I’m staying Bell. You can’t stop me.”

Bellamy met her glare, but he saw the determination in her eyes. There was no way he was going to dissuade them, “Fine, then I’m staying too.”

“No you’re not,” Octavia said. “You’ll be needed back in Arkadia and you’ll only cause problems here. I can protect myself Bell and I won’t be alone. Lincoln will be with me.”  
Lincoln stood a little taller at his mention and nodded his head.

“I can build some more radios so we can stay in contact,” Raven offered to appease both Octavia and Bellamy. They both seemed to agree to that, so the issue was settled.

“Alright, sounds good,” Kane said and Lexa simply nodded. She led the Skaikru out of the tower and provided the four that were leaving with their own horses. After finalizing a few quick details, the Skaikru left, leaving Octavia and Lincoln behind.

“I hope you kept up with your training,” Indra said from behind Octavia as the last of the Skaikru disappeared into the trees. Octavia nodded enthusiastically and she followed her and Lincoln to the sparring pits. Indra returned to training Octavia just as harshly as she had before the mountain, but Octavia wasn't complaining. She was just happy her mentor wasn't mad at her and was willing to keep teaching her.

When Kane and the others arrived back in Arkadia, they informed everyone of what had happened in Polis. The reaction was actually much better than what they expected, but it made sense that everyone wanted to avoid a war. Of course there were a few who were uncomfortable with the idea, like Bellamy, and a few who just downright disliked it, like Jasper, but most seemed to accept it. 

Not long after that, the first of the grounders started to arrive to help teach the Skaikru. Members of Skaikru started travelling back and forth between Arkadia and Polis to visit, to trade, to teach, or to learn. Raven travelled back and forth often to deliver the radio and to visit Octavia. She also took a look at some of the tech that was kept in Polis. Bellamy travelled occasionally to see his sister as well. Skaikru seemed to fit well into the coalition. There was still some mistrust, but not enough to cause any real problems. Octavia and Lincoln were doing a good job at representing Skaikru in Polis and Marcus had managed to make a few alliances with some of the clans.

As time passed however, Marcus and Abby decided to stop sending out search parties for Clarke. They hadn’t given up. If she had died, word would have spread and they would know, but she was nowhere around the Skaikru camp. They knew it was a waste of time and energy to keep looking for her. At this point it was up to Clarke. When she wanted to be found she would be, until then there was nothing they could do.

Lexa however had not given up searching. She never would until she had a definitive answer of where the blonde was. Titus had tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn’t listen. Luna had learned of The Commander’s feelings towards Clarke, as the two of them were long time friends, and she had sent out some of her scouts to aid in the search. It had been a long time since Luna had seen Lexa care for anyone like this, and she wanted her friend to be happy. She also wanted to meet and thank Wanheda for what she did in the mountain.

They searched for months with no luck.The blonde wasn’t anywhere to found, but still Lexa wouldn’t give up. She wouldn’t stop until she had answers. She wouldn’t stop until she found Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Don't be afraid to comment and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here is chapter three. I kind of struggled with parts of this one, but I hope I found a way to work it out. I know some of you are anxious for Clarke and Lexa's reunion. We're almost there, but not quite, so just stick with me. I really hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks for reading!

It had been two months since Clarke had passed her trials. She had gone on a few more assignments, all done without any issue. She had just returned from her latest mission and was alone in her room. She had just taken a bath to clean herself off and changed into more comfortable clothing for sleep. She was about to lay down and get some rest, but she stopped when she heard knocking on her door, “Come in,” she called.

The door opened and Dak walked in. It wasn’t strange for Dak to come over this late at night. The two of them had grown close, and they had shared each others bed on more than one occasion. She did care for him, but it wasn’t going anywhere. She was still haunted by green eyes and the woman they belonged to. Clarke hated that Lexa had this effect on her. After talking with Dak, she had slowly started to forgive Lexa for what she had done, but she wasn’t fully over it, yet almost every night, Clarke would see those green eyes in her sleep. When she wasn’t dreaming about death, she would dream about the kiss they had shared all those months ago and she remembered the feelings that existed within her whenever she was around the brunette. Lexa made Clarke feel strong. She made her feel safe and protected. It was strange because those were the last things she should be feeling, especially when it came to the brunette, but she couldn’t help it. Lexa had always told Clarke that she was strong, that she was capable. She always helped Clarke move forward instead of holding her back like everyone else did. She needed that in her life and she appreciated Lexa for it. That didn’t stop Clarke from blocking out as much of her feelings towards Lexa as she could. She knew they couldn’t be together anyway, not after everything she’s done, and she’s not even sure if she would want to be with Lexa. Clarke was still angry. She was trying to forgive, and she mostly had, but there was still that feeling of betrayal. That little bit of pain and anger that existed deep within her gut that kept her from forgiving the girl completely. She had built her own set of walls around her heart. She had to after everything she’d been through, and those walls were just strong enough to hold the feelings Lexa invoked within her at bay.

Dak knew what was going on between the two of them. They both deeply cared about one another but not in the way that you would care about someone you loved. Often times he would go to Clarke’s room or vice versa and the two would just talk. They usually talked about those they had killed. The both of them had learned to accept death, they had even learned how to block out the feelings they had when it came to killing, but sometimes they just needed to talk about it. Other times, they would just seek each other out to find release and forget about everything, just for a little while.

This time however, when Dak entered Clarke’s room, it was different. He wasn’t there to grieve or to unwind. Clarke sat up straighter on her bed when she saw the look on his face, “Dak, what is it?”

Dak moved over to Clarke and sat on the bed beside her, “I was given my next target.” Clarke waited for Dak to continue, but he hesitated. Clarke could feel her heart rate start to pick up. The two of them had grown used to killing and they had learned how to block off most of their emotions, so the hesitation Dak was showing was a little concerning. She raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue, and he did. “It’s someone from Skaikru.”

“What?” Clarke asked and she stood up from the bed. “Who? Why?” 

“His name is Mark Henry. He is a trader who often travels between Arkadia and Polis. He got in an altercation a few weeks ago with an Azgeda soldier and the Commander dismissed the issue with no form of punishment for either side. Queen Nia wants her own punishment and she wants to send a message. She wants people to know that no one can mess with Azgeda and get away with it,” Dak said.

Clarke was pacing beside her bed in front of Dak. She didn’t recognize the name of the unlucky Skaikru man. For a moment she felt relief that it wasn’t someone she cared about, but then that relief was replaced by guilt. Even though she didn’t know him, he was still Skaikru, and he was going to die by Dak’s hand. She couldn’t ask Dak to spare the man. Even if Dak would have agreed to, Nia would just send someone else to do it, so no matter what Mark was going to die. Clarke took a deep breath, “Why are you telling me this?” Yes, the two of them had grown close, but there was no reason for Dak to come here just to tell her he was going to kill someone from Skaikru. There was more to this.

“I’m going to Arkadia. I want to leave a message behind and tell your people that you are alive,” Dak revealed.

Clarke froze in her pacing and stared at Dak wide-eyed, “Dak you can’t do that. If Queen Nia finds out she’ll kill you, and what she has over me, over my people, she’ll kill them all.”

“They deserve to know you are alive, and you don’t deserve to be here. I will do what needs to be done and leave behind a simple message. When Skaikru knows you are alive, they will find a way to get you back and you won’t be here anymore,” Dak explained.

“I don’t matter,” Clarke said. “Dak, she has the launch codes to a missile that will kill all of my people. Leaving behind a message is too much of a risk. I will continue to serve Queen Nia, and that’s it.”

“She doesn’t have the codes. The last man of the mountain does,” Dak revealed. Clarke’s eyes widened slightly at the news. That fact should have been obvious to her, but she honestly hadn't really thought mush about it. “Come on Clarke, think. If the Mountain Man gave the code to Queen Nia she would have no use for him. He would be dead. He offered Queen Nia his knowledge as long as she provides him with her protected and is allowed to watch you suffer. I think you have suffered enough.”

Clarke ran a hand through her hair. “So what, you want me to kill Emerson?” Clarke asked. Dak simply nodded. “Dak, you’ve trained me really well. I’m highly skilled, but the only person guarded more heavily than Emerson is Queen Nia herself. There is no way I could get around all his guards to make that kill.”

Dak stood up from where he was sitting on the bed and held Clarke’s gaze, “You are one of Azgeda’s greatest assassins. You can do it, and if you can’t, then the two of us together can. This may be the only opportunity for anyone to inform your people about you. Let me leave a message for Skaikru. While I am gone, you watch the last Mountain Man. If you get an opportunity to kill him, then take it. If you don’t, then when I return, we can discuss everything you have learned about his guard detail and we can find a way to kill him together. Once he is dead Queen Nia will have nothing on you. Your people will come for you and you will be returned to them,” Dak tried to convince her.

“She has everything on me Dak,” Clarke said back. “I’m not the person I once was. I can’t just return to Arkadia and pretend like nothing happened. Pretend that the people here aren’t suffering. And what about you? Am I am supposed to just leave you here, leave Roan here and just go?”

“Nia’s army is loyal to her Clarke. The villagers may suffer. Prince Roan and myself may suffer, but there is nothing that can be done here. We are Azgeda and we are ruled by our Queen, but Clarke kom Skaikru does not belong here,” Dak said as he held his gaze firm on Clarke’s. He needed her her to listen to him.

“Clarke kom Skaikru is dead!” Clarke yelled. “She doesn’t exist anymore,” Clarke admitted quietly as her gaze fell to the ground.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room, the only sounds the heavy breathing of both Clarke and Dak. Dak reached out and raised Clarke’s chin so their eyes met again. “Clarke kom Skaikru is not dead. She has changed, yes, but she is not dead,” Dak’s words were sincere and Clarke felt a spark ignite within her. Maybe he was right, but that didn’t change the fact that she was different. She couldn’t just return to her people and pretend like nothing had happened, Queen Nia would still want to control her, putting her people in danger, and she couldn’t leave Azgeda behind to suffer. “Clarke, Queen Nia having control of you is dangerous. She clearly has plans for you. I’m not certain what they are yet, but I have heard some talk. Queen Nia wants to control the coalition and she wants to use you to do it. I don’t know how, but I’m guessing she has some sort of plan. You know she would not be a fair ruler if she were to gain control of the coalition. A lot of innocent people would suffer and many would die. You need to get out of here before she can use you to do that,” Dak tried desperately to convince. Clarke needed to listen to him for the good of herself and the good of everyone.

Clarke mulled over what he was saying. Dak was close to Nia and he was good at eavesdropping on conversations he wasn’t supposed to be a part of. If he believed Nia was planning something, then Clarke believed him. This was still a risky move though. If Nia found out they could die, Skaikru could die, or there could just be and extremely painful punishment, none of which were good options. However, if Nia had a way to take control of the coalition then that wasn’t a good option either. If Clarke was the key to Nia’s plan, then she couldn’t be here. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she came to a decision. “Fine. Leave the message. I will watch Emerson while you’re gone.”

The corner of Dak’s lips turned into a relieved smile, “Good. I will leave in a few hours. It won’t take long for me to return.”

“Dak, this is dangerous. A lot could go wrong,” Clarke said, worry clear in her tone.

“I know, but I want you to get home. I want you to be free, and I want the coalition to stay strong,” Dak admitted.

Clarke stepped forward and pulled Dak into an embrace. “Be careful Dak,” Clarke whispered. Dak nodded and slowly backed out of the room. Clarke watched as he left before releasing a heavy sigh. This was not going to be easy to pull off, but they were going to try.

/////

Queen Nia sat in her throne. She had delivered her most recent assignment to her best assassin, Dream Eater. He had yet to disappoint, but Nia was wary. She had assigned him to train Wanheda, and he had done a good job, but she had noticed how close the two were becoming.

This was the first time Nia would be sending an assassin to Skaikru. She wanted the job done properly, so she knew that he was her best choice, but his relationship with Clarke may be an issue. That is why she had her second best assassin kneeling before her. 

The girl’s dark brown hair went down a little past her shoulders. She had a scar in the center of her forehead and some across her cheeks. She was a ruthless assassin, but she could be reckless. The name given to her was No Mercy, which was pretty self explanatory. Unlike Dream Eater and The Shadow, her victims suffered before she finally gave them their death. 

The assassin had her head bowed to her Queen as Nia spoke, “I have given an assignment to Dream Eater. I want you to follow him. Make sure he does his duty to me without stepping out of line,” Nia said. She continued to explain exactly what she wanted to happen if Dream Eater tried to betray her. When Nia was finished, the assassin bowed her head and left to do as she was told.

/////

Clarke left the sectioned off part of Saipan where she lived and walked into the biting weather of Azgeda. She wasn’t yet used to the extreme cold, but her body was starting to adjust. She left her home and entered the main part of the city. When assassins were in public, they were to disguise themselves, so Clarke was wearing the usual blue and grey clothing of Azgeda. Clarke herself had special instructions. Some members of Nia’s army were allowed to know that Wanheda was among them, but most were not. Whenever Clarke left her room she had to cover her hair in some way to hide her blonde locks, and if she was ever asked, she could not say that her name was Clarke. Clarke usually twisted her hair in braids and she would twist some black fabric into her hair as well to hide some of the color. She also had a hood on that she used to cover her hair and most of her face. 

Dak had left for Arkadia a few days ago. It shouldn’t be long now before he returned to Azgeda. Clarke was nervous about him leaving behind the message for her people, but there was nothing she could do about it now, so she tried to block out the nerves and complete her own task. She had been watching Emerson for a while now. All she needed was one moment when he was alone so she could end him and end the threat to her people, but that moment never came. Emerson was always by Nia’s side and when he wasn’t he had an extremely unnecessary amount of guards with him. Although if Clarke really thought about it, it wasn’t an unnecessary amount. She was trained as an assassin and he was her only threat. If she could kill him, Nia couldn’t hold the use of the missile over her and she could escape Azgeda, so the guards he had to protect him were necessary. Clarke was just frustrated. In the short amount of time she had been here she had grown to be one of Azgeda’s greatest assassins. She had yet to fail on a mission, always finding a way to get to her target. That’s why this was so frustrating. No matter how long she spied on Emerson, she couldn’t find a way to get close to him and make the kill.

Clarke walked through the bustling city life of Saipan. The villagers who lived here were the safest in all of Azgeda. By no means did that mean they were safe, but they were much better off from the poor villages of Azgeda, and the people here tried to make the best of their lives. Of course the people in Nia’s army enjoyed themselves and the power they had over the villagers. Clarke hated how Nia ruled. Apart from the obvious reasons, Nia was not kind to her people and she gave the warriors in her army far too much power. The people suffered greatly for it, but again, there was nothing Clarke could do about it. Clarke made her way through the market, leaving the most populated area of the city, to find Emerson. Clarke had learned Emersons schedule after watching him the past few days, and she knew where he would be at this time, so she found a safe spot for her to settle down and watch for her opportunity.

She spent hours watching, but her time never came. The guards protecting Emerson were too many and too well trained and they never left an opening for Clarke to take advantage of. Eventually she gave up watching and made her way back through the market. She knew Emerson’s timeline, she knew where he slept, and she knew when there were guard changes. She would just have to wait for Dak to return. Then, she could fill him in on everything and hopefully the two of them would be able to kill Emerson before it was too late.

Clarke made her way back towards her building to get to her room, but before she could enter her building she was stopped. Clarke narrowed her eyes at the person who was blocking her way. “Ontari,” Clarke greeted hositly. The two of them hadn’t gotten off on the best foot. Ontari was ruthless, she enjoyed killing, and Clarke did not like her for that. Anyone who enjoyed taking the life of another was not someone that she wanted to be around. 

A devilish smirk grew across Ontari’s face and suddenly Clarke didn’t feel too good. “You should be more careful,” she said, the smirk never leaving her face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Clarke said back, her heart now pumping wildly in her chest.

“Oh? So Dak didn’t go to Arkadia with a plan to inform Skaikru of your whereabouts?” 

Clarke felt sick. Ontari knew. This was bad. It only got worse when Ontari reached for the bag at her feet. Clarke hadn’t seen it at first, but now her eyes were glued to it. Ontari threw the sack at Clarke’s feet. “Oops. I guess I made a mistake then.”

Clarke had a feeling she knew what was in the bag, but she needed to see. Slowly, she bent down and picked up the bag. She reached inside and her heart dropped. When she removed the item from the bag, she was met with Dak’s lifeless eyes staring straight at her. Clarke barely managed to keep herself from vomiting. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to kill Ontari, and she was about to, but something even worse happened to prevent her from her kill. 

Queen Nia appeared from the cover of the shadows to her right and made her way over to Clarke. There were two guards behind her and they were each dragging a body behind them. Nia motioned to the first guard and he threw the body of a man at Clarke’s feet. She looked at the body and she didn’t recognize him, but she did recognize the Skaikru symbol on his clothing. “Do you know who this is Clarke?” Nia drawled.

Clarke kept her eyes on the man and shook her head. “No my Queen,” Clarke said. 

“His name is Mark Henry. Dream Eater was sent to kill him, but it seems he had another reason for being in Arkadia,” Nia said. She held up a piece of paper. “He wrote a letter, informing Skaikru of your presence here in Azgeda.” Clarke said nothing. She was trying to hard to keep from vomiting or passing out or both at this point. “He was also seen going into your room right before he left for Arkadia. Tell me, did you know about this?”

“My Queen, I can explain,” Clarke tried, but she knew it was no use. She was caught.

“No need,” Nia cut her off. “I am disappointed Clarke. I thought we had an understanding.” Clarke didn’t say anything. What was there to say? Dak was dead, Mark was dead, and soon she guessed she would be dead. “Punishment for disobeying me in such a manner is usually death, however I still have a use for you, so I will not kill you.”

“Thank you for your mercy, my Queen,” Clarke said. She knew she needed to grovel, she needed to do whatever it took to stay alive and keep her people alive, so she would say whatever Nia wanted to hear.

“You’re not getting off that easy Clarke,” Nia said and she motioned for her other guard to step forward. He too brought the body he was carrying towards Clarke and dropped it at her feet.

This time Clarke couldn’t stop the tears from spilling out of her eyes. “Monroe,” she whispered, recognizing the body immediately. Monroe was one of the hundred that were originally sent down together. They hadn't spent a ton of time together, but all of the kids who came down in the dropship had formed a strong bond after working together to survive. Clarke herself had worked incredibly hard to lead them as best she could and keep everyone breathing. She had done a good job, but she had failed some. With Monroe dead at her feet it was just another failure to add to that list. It felt like someone was ripping out her heart and she was starting to spiral. Clarke fell down to her knees right in between the two Skaikru bodies, her head bowed. She couldn’t take much more of this. 

“That is your punishment for disobeying me. Her death is on your hands, and a death by No Mercy certainly could not have been pleasant,” Nia said as her eyes met Ontari’s for a moment before returning to Clarke. “So Clarke, tell me, are you ever going to disobey me again?”

Clarke shook her head and spoke as firmly as she could, “No my Queen. I am sorry for being so foolish. You have my service, you have my loyalty, you have my blade. I will do whatever you ask of me.” Clarke gave herself over fully. Nia now had full control, Clarke had no fight left. Whatever was asked of her would be done and that was that.

Nia smiled and nodded her head, “Good, I will leave you then. Report to me tomorrow morning for your next assignment.”

“Sha my Queen,” Clarke whispered, before Nia, her guards and Ontari left her. Clarke stayed on her knees, her head bowed to the ground before she let out a gut-wrenching wail. The two Skaikru and one of the only people that she had in Azgeda were dead because of her. She could feel her tears running down her cheeks, the cold wind numbing her cheeks from the trails. She could see black spots start to gather in her vision and her stomach was churning. She took a few deep breaths and remained on her knees until she gathered herself. She spent the rest of the night building a pyre and she put the two bodies and head onto it. She lit the pyre and watched as the three bodies were burned before she returned to her room. Her sleep that night contained one of the worst nightmares she had ever had. Dak was the forefront of it and she couldn’t get the image of his eyes out of her head. They were so cold, so empty, and it haunted her.

After she woke from her nightmare she went down to the training pits alone. She spent the rest of the night training, and she could feel something in her snap. Those walls around her heart locked and they weren’t going to come down as long as she could help it. Clarke could feel her heart hardening. She wasn’t going to feel this weak ever again. When morning hit, Clarke met Nia in her throne room. She was given her assignment and followed it without question, without thought, and without emotion. Clarke kom Skaikru was now dead, and The Shadow was all that was left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you guys are liking this so far! I really appreciate all your kudos and comments, I love hearing from you guys. This is the last chapter before everyone meets up again, and I'm really excited for what's to come, I hope you all are too. Clarke and Roan are one of my favorite brOTPs so I really wanted to incorporate them into my story and I hope you all like it. Enjoy!

It had been nine months since the death of Dax, about two years since Clarke had left Arkadia. The person she is now has very few similarities to the person she once was. After Dax’s death and the two Skaikru, The Shadow had gone on many more assignments. The Shadow was now the most notorious and feared assassins in all of the clans. 

Everyone knew the name The Shadow, but that was all that was known. No one knew what clan this person belonged to. No one knew who they were, why they were an assassin, how they picked their targets. It wasn’t even known if they were a man or a woman. The Shadow was essentially that, a shadow.

The victims of The Shadow were usually all killed in their sleep, but sometimes if the circumstances weren’t right, they would be killed when they were awake. It didn’t matter how many guards were assigned to The Shadow’s victims, no one ever saw her. If they saw anything, they saw the slightest amount of movement, but were unable to make anything out of it. 

The Shadow was the greatest threat in all of the land owned by the Commander. The Commander had placed a bounty on her head, one of the biggest to have ever been placed, and still no one even came close to catching a glimpse.

Clarke heard the rumors about herself often. She was good at blending in and good at eavesdropping on even the most secret of conversations. Dak would have been proud of her skills. Clarke wasn’t the biggest fan of these rumors of course. People feared her, which they should, but it didn’t make Clarke feel any better about herself. She was proud of the skills she had obtained. Proud of the fact that she was alive, still standing, but that was all she had to be proud of. She was literally the monster that most people told their kids about when they told scary stories at night. She had become the very thing that she had fought against when she was facing the mountain. 

Nia didn’t take it easy on her either. She was constantly tested, constantly sent out on assignments, and even the slightest mistake or any sign of disobedience and she was tortured. The torture didn’t last as long as the first round had, but that didn’t make it any less painful. At this point, Clarke had learned how to block out most of her pain, which she knew wasn’t a good thing. If she didn’t notice her pain she wouldn’t know her limits and it could get her killed. It almost did once. She had taken up training with some of Nia’s warriors. She fought almost ten all at the same time. She was supposed to stop the match if she got too badly injured, Nia wanted her skilled, but not dead. She had sustained some nasty blows during the fight, but they had barely registered with her, she was so used to pain. She had taken down all of her opponents before she passed out from blood loss. Woke up a few days later and got yelled at by both the healer and Queen Nia herself. That didn’t mean she didn’t feel pain. She could block it out for a while, keep it from registering in her mind, but it was there, and it sucked. 

Clarke was just returning from her most recent assignment. She made her way back to her room, which she hadn’t seen in quite a while. She put up her things and rested for a very short while before she walked to the training grounds. Roan was out there with his opponent, and they were the only two people out there. The compound that she stayed in along with Roan and some of the other assassins in Azgeda was cut off from the rest of Saipan. They were allowed to leave it, but always had to disguise themselves or just make sure they weren't seen by anyone. Assassins and Roan were the only ones allowed in the compound other than Nia and the few warriors that she trusted enough to allow entry to train with the assassins or her son. Roan was in the middle of a sparring match right now with one of those guards. 

Clarke took a position where she could see the fight clearly without being seen herself and watched the match. It was clear that they had been going at it for a while. Both were covered in sweat, breathing heavy, and they had a few cuts and tears in their clothing. Clarke watched as the two of them went back and forth. Roan’s fighting style was a treat to watch. Every motion he made was precise and all his movements were fluid. The guard he was fighting was putting up an impressive show, but after awhile he began to falter. Roan started to find his weaknesses, taking advantage of the times the guard would slip up, and before long, Roan had the guard disarmed and a sword to his throat. The guard left the pit, grumbling to himself as he left. Roan made his way over to the edge of the pit and picked up a waterskin, but he didn’t leave.

Clarke made her way over to Roan, coming up from behind him. “You’ve gotten much better with moving silently,” Roan commented not bothering to turn around and face Clarke.

“If I didn’t want you to know I was coming, you wouldn’t,” Clarke said back.

Roan let out a chuckle, “I do not doubt that.”

“You up for a real challenge?” Clarke asked as she pulled her sword from the scabbard on her back.

Roan turned to face her this time, putting his waterskin back on the ground, “The Commander of Death herself wants to fight me. I would be scared, although I don’t see you winning considering you won’t actually be allowed to kill me.” The corner of his mouth was pulled up into a smile and Clarke could read the humor in his eyes.

She rolled her eyes. “Keep talking like that and I just might,” she shot back.

Roan laughed as he reached for his own sword and stepped out into the pit to face her. He rolled his shoulders as Clarke spun her sword in her hand to loosen her wrists. Then, the two began circling each other. Both of them had mastered the skill of patience, so if one of them didn’t attack soon, they would end up circling each other all night, so Clarke made the first move. Roan easily blocked it and him and Clarke switched sides of the sparring pit. 

Roan just smirked at her and Clarke rolled her eyes again. They began to circle each other again, this time Clarke waited until Roan made the first move. Roan came at her with a flurry of strikes, all of them blocked by Clarke and they again switched sides of the pit. 

The fight continued like this for a while, occasionally, each of them would get their own hits in, but none major enough to give the other a victory. After a while of back and forth, Roan found the opening he was waiting for and he took it. He used a move that Clarke wasn’t expecting and managed to disarm her. Before Clarke could react, Roan tackled her to the ground and held his sword to her throat. “I win,” he said as he was straddled over her.

Clarke smirked up at him. “Not quite,” she said and she applied a little more pressure putting her assassin blade up against the inside of Roan’s thigh, right where the femoral artery was.

Roan felt the pressure up against his leg and knew that he was just as dead as she was. “I guess it’s a draw then,” Roan said as he returned to his feet. He reached out his hand and pulled Clarke up to her feet and both of them brushed themselves off. After that, they made their way to a tree outside their building and sat down. The weather was cool, but in Azgeda it was cold more often than not, and this was not nearly as bad as it could be. “I haven’t seen you in a while,” Roan said. “Your target giving you trouble?”

“Hardly,” Clarke replied, taking another sip from her waterskin. “My most recent assignment had four targets. I had to travel through Azgeda and two other clans to get to them.”  
Roan raised an eyebrow, “Four targets? Were they high profile?”

Clarke nodded, “I would say three of the four were. One was an Azgeda rebel. They were trying to start a rebellion against your mother. He was an easy kill. After him I went to Rock Line where I had to take out Maximus, one of the generals, and Daniel, advisor to King Brock himself. After Rock Line I went to Shallow Valley where I took out Seth, their top general.”

“Two generals and an advisor? Those couldn’t have been easy kills, and I’ve met Seth myself once. His skills were unmatched to anyone in Rock Line, and their people are pretty good fighters,” Roan said.

“It wasn’t too difficult. Seth was overconfident about his own abilities. He didn’t have many guards on him. The other two were heavily guarded, but I got passed them,” Clarke said with the shrug of her shoulders.

“You have grown to be quite the asset for my mother,” he added.

Clarke sighed, “Unfortunately.”

Roan could sense Clarke’s discomfort so he changed the subject, “You fought well today.”

“I am the most skilled assassin for a reason,” Clarke replied.

“True, but most of the work of an assassin is done in the shadows, no pun intended,” he said with his trademark smirk. Clarke rolled her eyes again, which is something she found herself doing often when she was around the prince. “I’m serious though. Not many people are able to compete with me for very long.”

“You are the greatest warrior in Azgeda for a reason,” Clarke complimented easily. She knew Roan loved it when people fed his ego, and a lot of times it annoyed her, but sometimes she would give in and say what he wanted to hear. Not that it wasn’t true. When it came to combat, Roan was the most skilled in all of Azgeda, probably one of the most skilled in all of the coalition. Not many could keep up with him, even fewer could beat him. Clarke generally lost to him, as he was right, most assassin work is done when the target isn’t expecting it. That didn’t stop Clarke from working her ass off to become skilled in combat. You never know when you may need to know how to fight, especially when it came to Clarke or Wanheda or The Shadow or whoever the hell she was.

Roan nodded his head and he puffed out his chest a little, “That is true.”

Clarke hit him playfully on the shoulder before asking her next question, “Your mother wants to speak with me later today. She usually doesn’t call me in so recently after I’ve returned from an assignment. Do you have any idea what she wants?”

Roan shook his head, “I have a meeting with her in a little bit. The Summit is coming up and I’m assuming she’ll want to talk to me about the role I’ll be playing in it. Maybe she wants to talk to you about it too.”

“Maybe,” Clarke said. “But she’s kept me hidden for so long. Why would she want to reveal me now?”

Roan looked at her with mirth in his eyes, “Have to come out of the shadows at some point.”

Clarke had to bite back a laugh at that one and was prepared to say something snarky back, but she was cut off by one of Nia’s messengers, “Prince Roan, Queen Nia will see you now.”

Roan nodded and he stood up from his place under the tree. He said goodbye to Clarke and followed the messenger to speak with his mother. Clarke watched him leave and then she made her way back to the training grounds. No one was around to spar with. Not many people wanted to spar with her even they were around, so Clarke made her way to the archery range. It was a good choice of weapon by an assassin if they needed to make a kill from a distance and Clarke was quite a good shot, but it was generally not her weapon of choice. 

She spent a few hours out training on her own before a messenger arrived for her. She made her way to Nia’s fortress. As she was entering Nia’s throne room, Roan was leaving. They made eye contact and Roan gave her a nod before they passed each other and Roan left the room.

Nia was seated in her throne as usual. Emerson was standing to her right and his guards were on either side of him. Nia had a few guards by her throne and the rest were lining the room. Clarke made her way into the room and stopped a few feet short of Nia’s throne. She sunk down onto her knees and bowed her head, “My Queen,” she said. 

She raised her head to look up at Nia but couldn’t help noticing the evil smirk on Emerson’s face. Oh how she wanted to kill him. She had thought about it many times, but he was just too heavily guarded and Clarke didn’t want to take the risk of failing her assassination attempt and getting more Skaikru killed. She pulled her eyes away from Emerson and looked at Nia, waiting for her to speak. “Do you know what the annual Summit is Clarke?” Nia asked.

Clarke nodded her head, “It is a festival held every year to celebrate the end of winter and the coming of spring.”

Nia smiled, “That is correct, but there is more to it. It is a time for all of the clans to gather and discuss what they are expecting from the coming year and talking through any trade agreements or disputes that may exist among the clans.” Clarke nodded her head in understanding, but didn’t speak. “The Summit usually lasts a few weeks. The meetings include the leader of clan, the ambassador, and two guards of that clans choosing. I would like for you to be one of those guards along with my son.”

Clarke bowed her head, “I will do whatever you ask of me my Queen, but if I may?” Nia nodded allowing Clarke to ask her question. Clarke opened her mouth to speak, but then paused before glancing around the room. Nia seemed to get the message and she dismissed all of her guards except her closest ones, who already knew who Clarke really was. When the room was cleared out Clarke spoke, “I am only an assassin, I am not trained as a guard. And is it really a good idea to bring The Shadow out into the open?”

Nia laughed, “You are more than capable of being my guard, and I am not looking for The Shadow as a guard. I want Wanheda.”

“Of course my Queen,” Clarke said, accepting Nia’s request without further question.

Clarke was prepared to leave but Nia seemed to have more for Clarke to do, “I need you to do more than just be my guard.” Clarke nodded her head. “The Commander has feelings for you.” At those words, Clarke felt her blood run cold. She opened her mouth to speak, but Nia raised her hand to stop her, “Don’t bother denying it. I had my spies during the time of the mountain. You spent much more time with the Commander than was necessary. Plus, the Commander still searches for you. After two years, she still sends out search parties in the hope of finding you. Even your own people gave up looking, but the Commander has not.”

Clarke swallowed thickly. She was unaware that Lexa had been searching for her and she couldn’t help but feel a little sense of happiness at the fact before it was replaced by dread of what Nia was going to ask her, “What would you have me do my Queen?”

Nia sat up a little straighter. Her lips turned up into a heinous smile and Clarke swore she saw humor in those normally cold eyes, “I want you to make her suffer. I want you to show her everything that you have learned. I want you to let her know all that you have been through and that it was all because of her, all because she left you on the mountain.” Clarke could feel herself begin to panic a little, but she knew that she had to follow every order that her queen gave her. “I want you to get close to her. Get her to let down her walls. Find out information about her and the clans and weaken her to the point where I will be able to strike her down,” Nia finished.

“As you wish my Queen,” Clarke said although there was a slight strain in her voice. It was slight enough for it to go unnoticed by Nia and the others, but Clarke could hear it. She needed to get a hold of herself. She couldn’t let her body betray her in this moment.

“And Clarke, if you mention one word about the last Mountain Man or the missile, if you make one move to disobey me in any way, I will kill all of your people, and then I will kill you,” Nia threatened.

Clarke bowed her head even lower than before, “You have my loyalty my Queen. I will not disappoint you.”

“I should hope not. We leave tomorrow at dawn, make sure you are ready by then,” Nia said, dismissing Clarke. Clarke got to her feet quickly and made her way to the door. She needed to get out of there and get some fresh air. “Oh and Clarke?” Nia called from her throne, stopping Clarke’s quick escape, “I want Wanheda as my guard, but I expect The Shadow will be making at least one appearance.” Clarke simply bowed her head again before she made it outside. Clarke was breathing heavily. The weather had dropped after the sun had gone down and the cold of the Azgeda weather was showing her breath in white clouds in front of her face. Her breathing was much more rapid than it should be and she was starting to see black spots in her vision.

She was sure she was going to pass out, but then she felt a hand on her back. Roan came up from behind her and was rubbing her back, helping her to calm down. He led her back to her room and he was finally able to help her calm down. “Are you alright?”

Clarke just nodded, not yet trusting her voice. Roan gave her a few more minutes before she spoke, “She wants me at the Summit. We’re her guards.” Roan nodded, already knowing this after his meeting with his mother. “She wants me to be Wanheda in public, but she wants The Shadow there as well. It’s dangerous for assassins in Polis, there are many more guards looking out for them. I’m not worried, but she will have me with access to any of the clans most important people. I could start a war if she ordered me too.”

Roan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He sat down on the bed beside Clarke, “You and me are in this together. She has her own hold on the both of us and we have no choice but to do what she says. Clarke, I know you hate killing, no matter how much you have closed yourself off to your feelings, you hate it. I will be there for you the whole time and we will get through this together.” He put his hand on her back and pulled her close into his chest. Clarke had changed a lot from the girl he had met on the balcony all those months ago. He knew what his mother had done to her, but he also knew that the real Clarke was in there somewhere. There was nothing that could be done for either of them, but Roan was determined to be there for her, and he knew that if needed, Clarke would be there for him.

They stayed like that for a little while before Roan left Clarke to gather her things and get some rest. He returned to his own room to do the same. In the morning, the two of them met Queen Nia and her riding party at the front of the gates of Saipan. Clarke noticed that Emerson wasn’t among the medium sized army that was heading to Polis which meant she would have no chance of taking him out while they were there. She pulled herself up onto her horse, a beautiful black stallion that she had named Shade. This horse had been with her on many missions and helped her with her quick escapes to avoid being seen by any of her target’s guards. Roan climbed up onto his horse beside her and when everyone was settled, the group began their journey to Polis.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here it is. I'm not going to lie, this chapter was really hard to write. I know you guys were really looking forward to this so I really tried to get it right. There were a lot of different possibilities for me to take, but I just sat down and wrote and this is what came out. I hope you guys enjoy!

The journey to Polis only took a few days. For Clarke it felt like much longer. She was not ready for what was going to happen when she made it to Polis. She was going to see everyone, her mother, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Monty, all of the people that she had left behind after the mountain. They were going to reunite and they were going to see the type of person that she had become: a cold blooded killer. Clarke was dreading each of these reunions. Yes, there was a little excitement just at the prospect of seeing the people she loved again, but when they saw her, they weren’t going to see Clarke. They were going to see an empty shell that once belonged to Clarke. The reunion she was dreading the most was Lexa. The girl who had haunted her dreams after the mountain, who still haunts her dreams. Her feelings for Lexa were still very confusing. She wasn’t nearly as angry as she once was, in fact she wasn’t sure if she was angry at all. If she was honest with herself, she missed Lexa, but Clarke was not willing to admit it, not yet at least. Her feelings didn’t matter anyway right? It had been two years, Lexa probably didn’t care for her anymore and even if she did, she cared for the old Clarke, not the one that she was going to meet. 

Clarke spent most of her time on the journey thinking about what she was going to say to everyone when she saw them again. How she was going to apologize for leaving, apologize for letting them think she was dead. She had locked down a lot of her emotions over the two years she had spent in Azgeda, and she was not ready to open those floodgates, not even sure if she could at this point. Still, she was trying to put as much honesty and emotion into what she was going to say as she could. She knew it didn’t matter. In the moment, she would probably either freeze up and forget what she wanted to say, or block her emotions off even more to a point where she would barely say a word to them, but she was preparing anyway. It helped pass the time, and it helped prepare her for what was coming.

When she wasn’t thinking about the upcoming reunions and what she was going to say, she was talking with Roan or Queen Nia. Roan had been able to sense her discomfort the whole journey, and he knew how hard this was going to be for her, so he tried to keep the conversations light to help keep her mind off of everything. Clarke appreciated what he was trying to do, even though it didn’t work very well. 

When she spoke with Nia, it was usually about Lexa and the Summit meetings. She would tell Clarke the types of things she wanted her to say, how she wanted her to act, how she wanted Clarke to show off everything she had learned and how much of a grounder she had become. Clarke hated every second of it, but she had no choice. She listened to every word Nia said and she made sure that she was going to do all that was asked of her. No more Skaikru were going to die for her failures, that she was sure of.

Nia’s army arrived at the gates of Polis at midday. The army headed to the portion of Polis that was sectioned of for Azgeda while Nia, Roan, and Clarke headed for Polis Tower. Clarke was in shock of Polis. The tower was bigger than anything she had ever seen and Polis was full of so much life. She had seen a lot of different cities within coalition lands and travelled to a lot of different villages when there was someone she needed to kill, but none of them were as large or as lively as Polis. 

The three of them stopped in front of the tower and dismounted. Each of the clan leaders were supposed to meet in the throne room when they arrived. They would meet their ambassadors there, there would be a short little meeting, and then they could go to their quarters. Each clan was given their own floor in the tower and those who were involved in the meetings were each allowed to stay, so Clarke would be staying in the tower for her time in Polis. 

Nia led the way into the tower with Roan and Clarke flanking her sides as guards would. They made their way into a metal box, and when the door closed, it began to move. Clarke recognized it as an elevator which she was thankful for. Sure she was in shape, and an elevator would not make for a good escape if she ever had to make a hit and then escape from somewhere in the tower, but she did not want to have to climb from the ground level all the way up to the Commanders throne room.

The elevator ride felt like it lasted forever. Clarke could feel her heart beating so hard in her chest, she was surprised that the other two in the elevator couldn’t hear it. This was it. In a few moments she was about to see some of Skaikru and she was about to see Lexa. Clarke reached behind her and pulled her hood up over her head. Nia had told her that this was how she wanted to reveal Wanheda as a member of Azgeda. Clarke was wearing form-fitting blue and grey furs of Azgeda, instead of the usual black that assassins wore. She had her black clothing with her as Nia had said to be prepared for The Shadow’s appearance, but for now she was in Azgeda colors. Her hair was braided back in her usual way, but the hood covered it and most of her face, so no one was going to know it was her until she removed it.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and Nia and her two guards stepped out. They were a little late, as Nia chose to be on purpose, and they headed for the throne room. There was a set of guards waiting for them and when they arrived, the guards opened the doors to the room. Clarke took a steadying breath. This was it.

Nia stepped into the room with Roan and Clarke a little behind her on either side. Clarke kept her head down and her hood up and she stopped a little behind Nia when she stopped.

“Queen Nia, I assume you have a good reason for being late.” There it was. The voice that had haunted Clarke in her dreams. The voice that belonged to the woman who had betrayed her at the mountain. The voice of the woman Clarke was trying desperately not to let have any affect on her. Clarke swallowed thickly, knowing that she was going to reveal herself at any moment, terrified of the reaction she was going to get.

Nia bowed her head a little before the Commander, “My apologies Commander. The trip to Polis took longer than I expected.” Clarke heard a few huffs of annoyance from some of those in the room, obviously not buying Nia’s lame excuse. Nia ignored them and she turned a little to her right. “You already know my son, Prince Roan kom Azgeda,” Nia introduced.

Then she turned to her left. Clarke’s heart was pumping so fast she thought it might explode. This was it. “I believe you know my second guard as well. Allow me to introduce, Wanheda, Legendary Mountain Slayer, Clarke kom Azgeda.” At those words Clarke removed the hood from her head, straightened out her posture, and looked directly ahead. Immediately blue collided with green. It was like they were magnetized, their gazes meeting automatically. There she was. The Commander sitting tall on her throne in all her glory, her war paint spread beautifully across her face. She was as ethereal and terrifying as Clarke remembered. She could hear gasps throughout the room, most noticeably from the right side of the room where Skaikru was sitting, but she didn’t turn to face them. 

Kane and Octavia were sitting in their chairs as the leader and ambassador of Skaikru and Bellamy and Lincoln stood behind them as the guards. The shock on their faces was clear and it was obvious they were all trying hard to hold themselves back from speaking up or approaching Clarke. 

There were a few other murmurs from others in the room, but Clarke didn’t listen to them as she stared straight ahead into those piercing green eyes. She could see the stoic mask of the Commander fall away for a split-second before she regained her composure, but it was enough for Clarke to see and judging by the smirk on Nia’s face, enough for her to see as well. The room had fallen into an awkward silence as everyone waited for the Commander to respond, but she seemed to be frozen in her throne. Indra was the one to make the first move from her position behind Lexa’s throne. “What is the meaning of this?” she sneered. “Clarke is a member of Skaikru and has been missing for a little over two years.”

“Oh on the contrary,” Nia said back a smile on her face. This was the happiest Clarke had ever seen Nia and it made her insides twist in discomfort. “She is my guard and a member of Azgeda, isn’t that right Clarke?”

Clarke bowed her head slightly just barely able to pull her gaze from the Commander’s to meet her Queen’s. “Sha, ai kwin,” she said to the surprise of those in the room. Nia’s smile only grew as she moved to take her place in her seat on the far left side of the room beside her ambassador. Roan and Clarke followed behind them, taking up their places behind the two seats. 

Of course for Clarke, Azgeda was directly across from Skaikru and Clarke was forced to face them as she stood in her spot. All of their eyes were trained on her and their was still shock etched across each of their faces, but she thought she could also see a little relief.

The moment that hood had been released, Lexa had frozen. Clarke was here and alive and serving Queen Nia. Something was off, but Lexa didn’t have the ability to question it as her eyes were glued to Clarke’s. She knew she needed to say something, anything, and the voice of the Commander inside her head was screaming at her to do just that, but she couldn’t. She saw Indra move slightly from her position behind her and she assumed that Indra had spoke, but the blood rushing in her ears prevented her from hearing anything. She didn’t snap out of it until Clarke removed her gaze to look at the Queen. 

Lexa used the time of Nia moving to her seat to collect herself and regain her composure. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to continue any more of this meeting, and as Azgeda was the last clan to arrive, she was able to dismiss everyone. She cleared her throat and spoke with authority, “Tomorrow at dusk the celebrations will begin. We will meet at midday tomorrow to begin our meetings, but for right now you are all dismissed. Please, enjoy Polis and we will reconvene tomorrow.” She waited for a moment for everyone to acknowledge her and a chorus of ‘sha Heda’ filled the room. Then she spoke again, “Wanheda, if you would remain.” 

The room began to clear out quickly after that. It was clear that Skaikru wanted to stay and get some answers, but Indra ushered them out, knowing the Commander wanted to talk to Clarke alone. 

Clarke followed Queen Nia to the door and stopped. “You know what to do,” Nia said with a smirk, “When you are done here I want you to go down to the sparring pits. Show everyone what you have learned and that Azgeda is not to be messed with. After that we will meet and discuss what happened today and our plan for tomorrow.”

“Sha ai kwin,” Clarke replied and with that, the Queen left. 

With everyone else gone, Clarke closed the door, sealing just herself and Lexa in the room. Clarke kept her hand on the doorknob and her back to where she knew Lexa was waiting, and she waited for the Commander to speak. Her stomach felt like it had been twisted and tied into a million knots and her heartrate had yet to slow down to a regular pace.

When everyone had left Lexa stood from her throne and made her way off the dais. She waited for Clarke to finish her final words with Queen Nia and then the door was closed. Lexa took a hesitant step forward, but Clarke didn’t turn around to face her. “Clarke?” Lexa asked, her voice cracking slightly. Clarke’s grip on the doorknob tightened and her body tensed. “Clarke?” Lexa repeated again, her voice still not yet steady. 

This time Clarke closed her eyes and let her body relax. “God, it feels good to hear your voice,” Clarke admitted. The admission surprised her. She knew she had finally forgiven Lexa, and she had started to realize and accept the fact that she had some feelings towards the Commander, but she hadn’t realized just how much she had missed her.  
Clarke slowly turned around to meet the glossy green eyes of Lexa. “Ar- Are you alright?” Was the first thing Lexa managed to asked. Clarke just nodded. It was a lie, she was anything but alright, but she wasn’t going to put that on Lexa.

“Where have you been? What happened to you?” Lexa asked, her voice heavy with emotion. It looked like she wanted to approach, wanted to reach out for the blonde, but she held herself back and stayed glued to her spot.

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat. “That’s a long story. Queen Nia-”

“Clarke, why are you following her? What does she have on you?” This time the Commander’s voice was much more steady and tinged with anger, not soft and full of emotion. Lexa knew that Clarke wouldn’t follow Nia just because she wanted to. There had to be an explanation to this, Nia had to be forcing her somehow.

Clarke took a deep breath, “I’m following her because she is my Queen.” It was a lie and both Clarke and Lexa knew it, but Clarke tried to go with it anyway.

Lexa shook her head, “No. You wouldn’t. You’re too good for her. What does she have on you?” Lexa asked again.

Clarke couldn’t hold herself back anymore. She thought she had blocked off all of her emotions, but it was clear she hadn’t. Being in Azgeda, with only Roan, she had managed to close herself off, but being here, seeing the genuine look of care in Lexa’s eyes, Clarke realized she hadn’t blocked herself off at all. She had hidden from her feelings, ignored them, but now that she was out of Azgeda territory, now that she was here in Polis, she couldn’t hide any more. “Please, let’s not talk about her right now,” she said and she took three quick steps forward and wrapped her arms around the Commander. Clarke felt Lexa tense in her arms before she relaxed and returned the hold, hugging Clarke tightly. Clarke nuzzled into the Commander’s chest and breathed in her calming scent, something else she hadn’t realized she had missed. Lexa held onto Clarke tightly, like she would slip away and disappear if she didn’t. Both of them had to fight back their own tears.

They stood like that for a few minutes before the separated. “You aren’t mad at me?” Lexa asked.

“I was,” Clarke admitted. “For a really long time I was, but someone helped me realize that that anger wasn’t getting me anywhere and that you did the right thing for your people.” Lexa could read the pain in Clarke’s eyes as she spoke, but she didn’t press her for anymore information. Later she would ask for more, but now wasn’t the time. 

Lexa reached up and cupped Clarke’s cheeks in her hands. Clarke closed her eyes and pushed her face a little into the touch. She wasn’t supposed to react this way. She wasn’t supposed to feel anything, especially for the Commander, but she couldn’t help it. Clarke had been through so much. She was tired of the pain she was feeling, of feeling angry, of feeling alone, of feeling weak. Lexa didn’t make her feel that way, and Clarke couldn’t help but soak it in. “I thought I’d lost you,” Lexa whispered.

“I’m right here,” Clarke whispered back.

“Clarke, please. What happened?” Lexa asked as she stared into Clarke’s eyes. She could read in those eyes that Clarke had been through a lot. They used to be a bright blue, full of hope, and now they were a dull blue almost grey color, and they looked to be full of despair and pain.

“After I left Arkadia, I was on my own for about three weeks. I was attacked in the woods, taken prisoner, and my captor brought me to Queen Nia. From there I was put through a lot of trials and when I succeeded I was trained to become a warrior and accepted as a part of Azgeda,” Clarke said. She wasn’t ready to tell Lexa everything that had happened to her, and she wasn’t allowed to tell Lexa about her becoming an assassin. This was the best story she could come up with.

Lexa knew Clarke was skimping out on the details. She knew there was so much more to this then what Clarke was saying, but Clarke didn’t seem to want to say any more. Clarke knew Lexa was going to keep asking her questions that she wasn’t ready to answer yet, and she was feeling way too much all at once. She needed to get away and give herself a chance to breathe. “I need to go,” Clarke said and she could feel Lexa tense up a little at the words. “Queen Nia gave me some more orders and I need to follow them.” Clarke watched as a flurry of emotions ran across Lexa’s face. It was clear the mention of Queen Nia brought up anger within Lexa, but then that anger dissipated and settled into sadness, and Clarke thought maybe even fear. Fear of what specifically she wasn’t sure. Could it be over me? Clarke thought, but she quickly pushed that thought aside. Clarke reached up and grabbed Lexa’s wrists that were still on her cheeks. She squeezed them once and lowered them away from her face. Clarke held onto Lexa’s wrists, sliding down to her hands as she took a few steps back. When she was far enough away, their hands separated and Clarke left the room before Lexa could say anything to stop her.

Lexa was frozen in place. She watched as Clarke left the room and then turned and walked out onto her balcony. A lot was going through her mind. The most important fact was that Clarke was alive, but why was she here? What did Nia have on her to make Clarke follow her? After all this time, why did Nia want to reveal her now? What had Clarke been through? She had seen some emotion from Clarke, but it was clear to Lexa that the blonde was different, much more closed off, much more distant. It was unsettling, but she couldn’t help the slight tinge of relief she felt. Clarke was alive, she wasn’t mad about the mountain, she didn’t hate her, and she was here, and Lexa was going to do everything within her power to help Clarke. Whatever Nia had on Clarke, she was going to figure it out and she was going to stop it. She was going to get Clarke back, no matter how far she had to go.

/////

Clarke quickly made her way out of Lexa’s throne room and into the elevator. She could feel her heart beating so rapidly in her chest, she knew it wasn’t healthy. She had spent all her time in Azgeda learning to close herself off and block her feelings, and she had done well, she barely felt anything anymore, but seeing Skaikru, seeing Lexa, they brought some of that emotion back. Clarke was kicking herself. She had a job to do and the fate of Skaikru was in her hands. She can’t fail Nia, and she can’t let her emotions get the better of her. 

Her first talk with Lexa wasn’t exactly what Queen Nia wanted. She wanted Clarke to go into the painful details of what had happened to her. She wanted Clarke to blame Lexa, to make her suffer over everything that had happened to Clarke. Clarke didn’t blame Lexa, and she certainly didn’t want to make her suffer, but it was what Nia wanted, so she was going to do it. However the conversation they had just had wasn’t the right time. Clarke had said enough that she was sure Lexa was hurting, sure she probably blamed herself at least a little for what had happened, she just didn’t know exactly what happened. Clarke would tell her, but at the right time, and the conversation they had just had wasn’t it.  
When the elevator doors opened Clarke stepped out. She took in the bottom floor of the tower which was bustling with people and servants. It seemed to be the dining area of Polis. Clarke could feel eyes on her as she walked. She was positive that after the meeting, word of Wanheda’s presence had spread. Being watched was new for Clarke. She had spent the last two years hiding in the shadows or disguising herself when she was out in public. She would blend in with the crowds, and no one would pay much attention to her. Now she was walking through Polis and she was the center of attention. Everyone wanted to see her, to confirm for themselves that Wanheda was still alive.

She made her way through the busy streets of Polis and followed the sounds of clashing metal until she came up to the sparring pits. She started to walk to the pits to find a sparring partner, but stopped when she heard her name called. She turned around and was met with Raven who barreled into her, wrapping her in a tight hug. Clarke returned the hug loosley and the mechanic let go. “It’s true. You’re alive,” Raven said in awe as her eyes trailed over Clarke’s frame. 

“Yeah, I’m alive,” Clarke confirmed as Octavia came up from behind Raven and stopped beside her. She met Clarke’s eyes, but didn’t give Clarke anything else. Clarke wasn’t sure where she stood with Octavia. The last time they had talked, Octavia was pissed at her and Clarke assumed that she still was. “It’s good to see you Octavia,” Clarke tested.

Octavia smiled. “Yeah you too,” she said. Clarke smiled a little, relieved at the seemingly genuine response. “What happened to you Clarke? Where have you been?”

Clarke pulled her gaze from the two girls, unable to meet their eyes, “It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got time,” Raven said.

Clarke sighed, “I have orders from Queen Nia. I don’t have any time to talk, I have to train.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” Octavia said as she took a few steps towards the sparring spits. If Clarke wasn’t going to talk with them, then she was going to have to fight with them, or at least Octavia.

“Octavia, don’t,” Clarke warned.

“You want to spar, let’s spar,” Octavia replied, removing her sword from its scabbard on her back.

“Octavia I don’t want to fight you, and trust me, you don’t want to fight me,” Clarke said, not moving from her position by Raven.

“I don’t know what happened to you over these last two years, but a lot has happened to me. I’m not the same girl I once was. I’ve trained a lot with Lincoln and Indra. I’m better than you think, Clarke,” Octavia replied.

“I don’t doubt that,” Clarke said. “But Queen Nia sent me out here to send a message. I won’t take it easy on you.”

Raven looked over at Clarke. Her body was all muscle. This wasn’t the Clarke that they all remembered, and with the tone Clarke was speaking in, she was confident that Octavia didn’t stand a chance, and Raven believed her. “O, maybe you should listen to her. The Summit will last a few weeks, we’ll have plenty of time to talk to Clarke. Maybe you should just let her spar with someone else.”

Octavia shook her head, “No. Come on Clarke, let’s do this.”

Clarke sighed. Octavia may have changed some, but she was just as stubborn as Clarke remembered. She wasn’t happy about this, but it didn’t seem like she had much of a choice. She slowly nodded her head and followed Octavia out into an empty sparring pit. Clarke pulled out her own sword and spun it around a few times to loosen her muscles. Octavia did the same and the two began circling each other. 

The minute Wanheda had stepped into the pit, a large crowd had gathered to watch her fight. Raven was in the front and Clarke noticed that Lincoln was now standing beside her. That just made the situation even worse for Clarke, but Lincoln gave her a nod of understanding which relaxed Clarke a little bit.

It didn’t take long for Octavia to get tired of waiting so she charged at Clarke. Clarke just took a step to the side and she ducked her body a little, completely avoiding the hit. Octavia turned to face her again after her sword met nothing but air. She charged Clarke again, and again Clarke avoided the attack without using her sword at all. She was holding off from attacking. She didn’t want to do this. She had to, she knew, but that didn’t make it any easier. After a few more times of simply dodging, Clarke struck. Her fist met Octavia’s eye and the younger girl stumbled back. Clarke took her imbalance and she swung her sword at Octavia, cutting into her upper arm. Octavia grunted in pain, but she finally managed to regain her balance. “You can stop fighting Octavia. I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” Clarke offered.

Octavia just shook her head and charged at Clarke again. This strike was better than her others, but Clarke was still able to block it and she cut a thin slice down Octavia’s back as they moved passed each other. Octavia growled and again she charged Clarke. She really needed to work on patience. Clarke hit her with an elbow, then a knee to the gut, then she swung Octavia’s legs out from under her. Blood was dripping heavily from the girls nose and mouth as well as from the few cuts she had on her body at this point. “Stop this Octavia,” Clarke warned.

Of course Octavia didn’t listen. She returned to her feet and continued fighting. Clarke kept going and eventually she knocked Octavia onto her back again. This time, Octavia was so beaten, she couldn’t get back up. 

Lincoln came out into the pit and picked up his bloodied girlfriend. “I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered. Clarke swore she saw the corner of Lincoln’s mouth curl up into a reassuring smile, but Clarke had just beaten his girlfriend so the idea of him smiling at her didn’t seem right. After Octavia was carried away, Clarke looked out into the crowd, not meeting the eyes of Raven who was staring at Clarke with wide eyes and an open mouth. “Who’s next?” She asked the crowd.

A few moments passed before the next challenger stepped into the pit. He was twice Clarke’s size and he was all muscle. The tattoos on his body along with the green and brown clothing marked him as Trikru. The man pulled out his axe and he swung it in a huge arc a few times. Clarke could hear snickering from some the onlookers, assuming they were about to watch Clarke be easily defeated. Clarke smirked at the surprise she was envisioning on everyone’s faces when she wound up victorious.

The fight started quickly, Clarke’s patience forced her opponent to attack first and it didn’t take very long for him to do that. The man had skills with the axe, Clarke wouldn’t deny that, but he was slow, and Clarke used that to her advantage. She delivered a few blows to the man's midsection and before long, she had him disarmed and on his back with a sword to his throat. When Clarke popped back up to the feet, she wasn’t disappointed by the looks of shock and awe that were on the spectators faces.

The man cleared out of the ring and Clarke’s next opponent entered. Clarke took on six more opponents, all from different clans, all with different fighting styles, but it didn’t matter. Clarke had defeated them all rather easily, only taking a couple hits herself. After her sixth opponent limped out of the pit, Clarke noticed Roan in the crowd. When he met her eye he motioned with his head to tell Clarke to leave and follow him, and she did. 

She returned her sword to its scabbard on her back and she met with Roan. “I see your opponents haven’t given you any trouble,” he said, his usual smirk on his face.

“Not even a little,” Clarke replied.

Roan nodded before his expression turned more serious, “How are you doing? How did it go with seeing your friends again? With seeing the Commander?” Roan knew that Clarke had been worried about this day for a long time and he knew that no matter how hard Clarke tried to block out her feelings, it would never work. Her heart was too big for her to be able to do that. He knew there would be a moment where all of the emotions she had kept pent up inside would come crashing out, and he wanted to be there for her when they did.

The two of them began walking their way back to Polis Tower, “I’m fine. I’m sure my friends hate me now,” Clarke said thinking back to what she had just done to Octavia. The look on Raven’s face and the state she left Octavia in, she was sure she there would be some backlash from that, especially by Bellamy.

Roan nodded, “And what about the Commander?”

Clarke shrugged her shoulders, “What about her?”

Roan rolled his eyes, “Come on Clarke, don’t pretend like it was nothing.”

Clarke sighed and looked up the Prince, “What do you want me to say Roan? It’s been two years since I last saw her. A lot has changed since then and I have a mission to do. I can’t let myself fall to my emotions.”

Roan knew that Clarke was just putting on a brave face, but he also knew not to press her any further, “My mother has requested your presence.”

Clarke nodded, “I won’t keep her waiting then. I’ll see you later.” Clarke picked up her pace and walked into the tower. She made her way into the elevator and rode up to the floor that was given to Azgeda. Clarke walked up to Nia’s room where two guards were blocking the entrance. She may be the Queen’s guard during Summit meetings, but Nia had her usual guards at her door when they weren’t in a meeting. “Queen Nia asked to see me,” she said to them. They nodded to her and opened the door to Nia’s room before retaking their positions outside. 

Clarke entered the room and found Nia sitting in a chair and being tended to by one of the handmaidens. Nia dismissed the girl, who looked like she was near passing out from fear, and she scurried out of the room. Clarke bowed her head, “My Queen.”

“Clarke, tell me, how did everything go?” Nia asked. She reached onto the table in front of her and grabbed a handful of berries for herself to eat.

“Everything went well. By tomorrow, everyone in Polis will know that Wanheda and Azgeda are not to be messed with.”

“Good,” Nia said as she continued to eat from the tray of food that was on her table. “And what of your talk with the Commander?”

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat, “It went well. We didn’t speak for very long, but I believe if I continue to talk with her and spend time with her, she will let her guard down and she will suffer as you have requested.” Clarke told Nia everything she knew she would want to hear. In no way did Clarke want to make Lexa suffer, but those were Nia’s orders.

Nia continued to talk to Clarke for a little while. They talked more about what had happened throughout the day, and then they talked some about what the plan was for tomorrow. Nia had told Clarke that she was to spend as much time with the Commander as possible, and when she wasn’t with the Commander, she was to be training or finding other ways to show Azgeda’s strength. When Clarke was finally dismissed, she left Nia’s room and walked down the hall to where she was told her room was. She opened the doors and walked into a rather large room, much larger than her own back in Azgeda. There was a chair and a couch in the center of the room. A table with a few chairs was over to the left and one of the biggest beds she had ever seen was on the right. The few belongings Clarke had brought with her were in her bag on the floor by the bed. She walked over to it and put all of it away where she wanted them. It was mostly clothes, the blue and grey furs of Azgeda and the black clothes of The Shadow. There were a few small weapons and most importantly, her father’s watch. It was the only thing that she had with her that meant anything, but Nia didn’t allow her to wear it, so she usually kept it on the nightstand in her room, which is where she put it in this room.

When Clarke finished unpacking, she changed into something more comfortable and collapsed onto the bed. It was late and she was exhausted. Today was a very draining day mentally, and Clarke knew she would need her strength back for tomorrow. There were so many more people she was going to see, so much more she was going to do, and she needed to be ready. She curled up under the furs and the last thing she saw before drifting off, was a pair of glossy green eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I didn't disappoint! Please, let me know what you thought. I really love and appreciate all your comments. If there is anything specific you guys want to see in the story let me know. I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best. Thank you guys for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke woke up before the sun had risen as she always did. Her dreams never allowed her much time to rest, and her body had grown accustomed to only having a few hours of sleep. Every night she was haunted by someone different, as she was responsible for so much death. She would see the grounders dying in a ring of fire, Finn dying by her hand, the grounders who died from the missile in TonDC, the burning flesh of the Mountain Men, the people she had killed in The Crater, every single person she killed as The Shadow, and worst of all was when she saw Mark Henry, Monroe, or Dak. To make it worse, she was even haunted by the living. She would see her friends and family looking at her like she was a monster, which she was, but it still hurt. The worst among the living was when she was haunted by Lexa. When the Commander found out who she was, what she was, she would look at Clarke with hate instead of the gentle look the brunette usually gave her. Last night was no different than any other night. The bed was bigger and much more comfortable than what she was used to, which was a plus, but her dreams still haunted her.

Clarke got out of her bed and changed quickly. She usually liked to train when she woke up in the morning, so that’s what she did. She made her way out of her room and into to the elevator, taking it down to the bottom. The bottom level was close to empty, only a few servants were in there, likely setting up for breakfast to be served a little later. 

Clarke exited the tower and made her way outside. Fresh air always helped her to calm her mind in the mornings and training helped her to focus and let out any emotion she made need to let go of. Clarke walked through the quiet streets of Polis, as it was too early for anyone to be out, and she made her way to the training area. 

When she got there, it was empty, which Clarke was thankful for. She walked out onto the sand and dirt pit and pulled out her sword, swinging it around to stretch her muscles. When she was loose, she started going over some of her basic training exercises. Clarke was an extremely skilled fighter even against warriors who were much more seasoned than her, which after a little less than two years of training, was extremely impressive. Even with Clarke’s skills she never stopped going over the basics. Clarke was out on her own for a little while before she was interrupted. “Thought I’d find you out here,” Roan said as he approached her. “Mind if I join you?”

Clarke just shook her head as Roan took out his own sword. He warmed himself up and then joined Clarke on some simple training exercises. After a little while of training, the two decided to have a sparring match. 

“You ready for today,” Roan asked as his attack was blocked by Clarke.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Clarke replied, launching her own attack that was blocked by Roan. 

The two separated and began circling each other again, “Meetings like this are never fun. There are always arguments on simple disputes that take hours to come to an agreement on.”

“Great,” Clarke groaned as she kept her eyes trained on Roan, waiting for her moment to strike.

“You never know though. Maybe something interesting will happen,” Roan said, his eyes scanning Clarke’s stance just like she was scanning his. 

“I’ve had enough interesting in my life, I’ll take boring,” Clarke said as she feigned a forward lunge, testing how Roan would react.

Roan raised his sword to block the attack that never came, but he kept his stance firm, not giving Clarke an opening to take advantage of. “I don’t think that boring is a part of the life that Wanheda lives,” Roan said with a smirk.

“Unfortunately,” Clarke replied, this time actually launching an attack at Roan. It was easily blocked and the two of them stepped passed each other, swapping sides of the sparring pit. 

“Are you going to talk with the Commander today?” Roan asked. Clarke wasn’t expecting Roan to ask something like that and it caused her to falter for just a second, but it was enough for Roan’s fist to make contact with her face, splitting her lip.

Clarke backed away from Roan and spit the blood from her mouth. “Damn you,” she grumbled at Roan, even though she knew she was the one who made the mistake.

Roan smiled at her and came at her again, but Clarke was able to block it. They didn’t speak anymore after that, as Clarke wasn’t interested in the direction the conversation was going and she wanted to avoid any more slip ups. The two went back and forth for a while before they each ended up holding a sword to the other’s throat. “Another draw,” Roan said as he withdrew his sword.

“I’m coming closer to beating you,” Clarke claimed with a proud smile.

Roan met her grin, “We will see Wanheda, but I still think you have a ways to go before you can beat me.” The two of them made their way to edge of the pit to grab their waterskins. When Clarke turned around, preparing to leave, she finally noticed the crowd that had gathered to watch her and Roan. She hadn’t realized how much later into the morning it had gotten, and a large crowd had formed to watch the Prince of Azgeda face off against the Commander of Death. “I think we put on a good show,” Roan said from beside her, taking in just how many people had watched the two of them fight and the scared or impressed looks on their faces. 

Clarke hummed in agreement before the two of them headed out of the pit and towards the crowd. The crowd parted for them as they passed, no one wanting to get in their way, and they made their way back to the tower. 

The two of them were going back and forth with their usual banter on their walk back to the tower, before a voice stopped Clarke in her tracks. “It’s true. You’re alive,” the voice of none other than Abby Griffin said from behind them. 

Clarke slowly turned around and came face to face with her mother for the first time in two years. Her mom looked good. A few more grey hairs and worry lines then when they last saw each other, but other than that she looked the same. “Hi mom,” Clarke said hesitantly. Her and her mother weren’t in the best place when Clarke had left, and although Clarke had been working on getting past her anger, there was still a little left towards her mother.

The next thing Clarke knew, Abby was running towards her and holding her in a tight embrace, “Oh my baby,” Abby whispered into Clarke’s hair. “You’re alive. My baby’s alive.” Clarke could tell by her mother’s voice that she was crying. 

She pulled herself from her mom’s embrace, “Yeah mom, I’m alive.”

Abby reached up and ran the pads of her fingers over her daughter’s face. It was like she had to prove to herself that this was real, that Clarke was real. Abby was still crying when she let go of Clarke’s face, “Where have you been all of this time?” 

“I’ve been in Azgeda territory,” was all Clarke was willing to give.

“What happened to you? Why didn’t you come home? Why didn’t you let us know you were alive?” Abby bombarded her with questions.

Clarke’s entire body tensed. She was getting very tired of being asked the same questions. And, she had tried to let her mother know she was alive. Dak and Monroe and had ended up dead because of it. “It’s a long story mom, one that I don’t have time to tell.” 

Clarke took a step back from her mother and made like she was going to leave, but Abby grabbed her arm and held her back. “Wait a minute. You can’t just leave Clarke. Where have you been?” she demanded.

Clarke could feel her anger spike. It wasn’t her mom’s fault. She just wanted to know where Clarke had been and what had happened to her, but Clarke was getting annoyed with all the questioning. “I told you it’s a long story. I don’t have time to tell it, I have a meeting I have to get ready for.”

Abby didn’t loosen the hold on her daughter’s arm, and Clarke was a second away from bursting. Roan saw the hold Abby had on Clarke’s arm and he saw the changes in Clarke’s demeanor. He recognized the changes as dangerous, so he decided to step in, “I’m sorry to disrupt, but Clarke and I must be going.”

Abby pulled her gaze from her daughter to meet Roan’s, “And who the hell are you?”

“I am Prince Roan of Azgeda,” Roan introduced himself.

Abby let go of Clarke and looked to Roan. Marcus had told her that Clarke had come in with Azgeda and had bowed before their Queen and was following her orders. Abby had been so angry, she tried to convince Marcus to declare war on them. If the Queen was in control of Clarke, this Prince had to be in control of her too. “You bastard,” Abby snarled and she launched her arm forward to slap him, but she was stopped. 

Clarke had grabbed her wrist to keep her from hitting Roan. “He is the Prince of Azgeda. You will not disrespect him,” Clarke snarled. How could her mother be so foolish? Clarke had hoped that in the two years she was gone her mother would have learned how to interact with and accept the grounders and their culture as well as learn the fact that she was not above everyone else. It seemed that hadn’t happened. Her mother was just as reckless and frustrating as she was before and Clarke wasn’t having any of it. 

Abby stared at her daughter with wide eyes as she tried to stutter out some sort of apology. “Clarke come on, let’s go,” Roan said from his spot. He had not expected Abby to try anything like she had, and he certainly hadn’t expected Clarke to stop it. He didn’t want this situation to get any more out of hand then it already was. Clarke glared at her mother before releasing her wrist and whirling around. She stormed off towards the tower with Roan on her heels and Abby frozen in place. 

They entered the tower and Clarke didn’t stop until she was in the elevator. Roan stood beside her and waited for the doors to close and the elevator to start rising. He could feel the anger rolling off the blonde in waves. “Clarke,” Roan tested.

“I can’t believe her,” Clarke growled. 

“Clarke I know that didn’t go how you would have wanted it to, but your mother was just worried. Her emotions were clouding her judgement,” Roan tried to comfort.  
“I would believe you if she hadn’t made stupid decisions like that before,” Clarke fumed. “And it’s not even that. She hasn’t seen me in two years and she still treats me like a child. She thinks she can order me to answer her questions and tell her whatever she wants. She can’t accept no or I don’t have time, no, she needs me to stop everything that I’m doing and give her every answer she’s looking for. And then she has the audacity to try and hit you, after you introduce yourself as the Prince no less. Roan if she had hit you and your mother found out, she could order my mom’s death, maybe even start a war against Skaikru for an attack on the Prince if she wanted to. My mother constantly believes that she is in control and that the world revolves around her,” Clarke ranted. 

The elevator opened before Roan could respond, so he just grabbed her arm and dragged her to his room. Once they were inside, he spoke, “Clarke your arrival here has to be hard on her. She hasn’t seen you for two years.”

“Well it’s not like she cares,” Clarke shot back. “She gave up looking for me months ago. I have sacrificed everything to keep Skaikru alive and with one action, my mother could have destroyed them all.”

Roan kept his eyes on the blonde who was now pacing the room. “Clarke, giving up the search for you couldn’t have been an easy decision for any of Skaikru to make,” he sighed. “I get it okay, she shouldn’t have lashed out at me. It was stupid and dangerous and reckless, but nothing happened okay. You stopped it. You need to remember Dak’s teachings. Anger helps no one. She’s your mother Clarke.”

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. She didn’t feel like she was being unreasonable. Her mother could have just started a war by hitting the Prince of Azgeda, which would have undone every sacrifice that Clarke has made for her people. Plus, it was frustrating how her mother believed that she deserved answers right away from her. Roan was right though, it was her mother. Anger wasn’t getting Clarke anywhere, and her mom was just worried about her. 

Clarke stayed in Roan’s room for a little while longer to calm down before she left and went to her own room to clean up and prepare for her meeting. She took a bath to freshen up after her morning training and dressed in her Azgeda furs. When it was time, she met Roan outside and the two of them waited for Queen Nia and Cyrus, the Azgeda ambassador, before heading up to the throne room for the first meeting of the Summit.

Nia and Cyrus entered first with Roan and Clarke flanking them. They were the last clan delegation to enter the throne room. It wasn’t quite time for the meeting to start yet so all of the clan leaders were talking amongst themselves. The room went quiet for a moment as Azgeda entered, but everyone quickly returned to their conversations after they entered. 

Clarke followed behind Nia as she walked further into the room, when Bellamy stormed up from beside her, “What the hell Clarke?”

Clarke knew what he was upset about. She certainly hadn’t gone easy on Octavia. She knew this conversation was coming, but she had hoped it would be in a more private setting. Clarke knew she wouldn’t be able to say anything to apologize or appease him as Nia was watching the interaction closely. She simply stood a little taller and raised her chin. Bellamy hesitated for a moment when he saw her reaction. There wasn’t any sorrow, any remorse. This wasn’t the Clarke he remembered. “You can’t just go around beating people senseless,” Bellamy said once he gathered himself.

“It was training. Injuries are common,” Clarke said nonchalantly.

“You didn’t need to beat her to a pulp,” Bellamy argued.

“I don’t need you to defend me,” Octavia snarled as she limped up from behind her brother. Her face was covered in bruises and there was a gash on her cheek and the corner of her mouth. Clarke really had done a number on her.

“Wanheda,” Nia called Clarke’s attention. “Explain to me what is going on here.”

Clarke bowed her head, “Of course my Queen. The Skaikru Ambassador challenged me to a sparring match during training last night.”

Nia ran her eyes over Octavia and then Clarke and smirked, “Well it seems the Skaikru Ambassador will think twice the next time she thinks about challenging someone from Azgeda.”

Octavia bristled, but said nothing. The same couldn’t be said for Bellamy though, “What the hell did you say?” He took a step forward to get in Nia’s face, but before he could do anything there were two swords at his throat. One from Roan and one from Clarke. The room descended into silence as they took in the scene. Marcus and Lincoln were now standing by Octavia. It was clear they wanted to intervene, but weren’t sure of exactly what to do. Bellamy was looking at Clarke with wide eyes. 

“Step away from Queen Nia,” Clarke growled. 

Bellamy looked into her eyes, but instead of following her orders, he turned to look at Nia, “Or what? Do you really want to start off this meeting having to explain to the Commander why I ended up dead on the floor?” 

Nia laughed at the boy. He was brave. Stupid, but brave. She opened her mouth to tell him just that but was cut off by the Commander herself. “What is the meaning of this?” Lexa roared as she entered the room with Titus and Indra at her flanks. She was hoping there wouldn’t be too much drama today, but she couldn’t even enter the room before the drama started. The fact that Queen Nia was the one involved wasn’t surprising, but the fact that Clarke was holding a sword to someone’s throat, to Bellamy no less, it was surprising to say the least.

“This foolish boy threatened Queen Nia,” Cyrus started to explain. “Her guards are doing their duty.”

“Lower your weapons,” Lexa ordered as she walked closer to them. Clarke and Roan slowly lowered their swords, Clarke’s eyes never leaving Bellamy. “Now step away and take your seats. It is time for the meeting to begin.” 

Everyone in the room took their positions as ordered, Bellamy had to be pulled away by Marcus, and then Skaikru took their seats as well. Queen Nia however didn’t move. She glared at Lexa and held her position. Roan and Clarke moved in to stand behind her. Clarke stared straight ahead from her position, not meeting Lexa’s gaze. “He threatened me and you are just going to ignore the issue?” Nia sneered.

Lexa stood a little taller and took a menacing step towards Nia, “You consider a boy without a weapon in his hands and two swords to his throat a threat? I assumed you at least had the ability to defend yourself against that, but I suppose I was wrong,” Lexa shot back.

Clarke felt Nia stiffen beside her and she had to hold back her own smile. No one spoke to Nia that way, and she enjoyed hearing it. There were a few snickers from around the room which only seemed to anger Nia further. She huffed out an annoyed breath before making her way to her seat with Cyrus beside her. Clarke and Roan took their places behind them and Lexa made her way up the dais before gracefully taking a seat in her throne. 

The meeting went over smoothly from there. Roan was right, it was extremely boring. There were talks over land disputes and some trading issues, none of which had been settled. It was foolish, there were simple solutions to the problems, but the clan leaders were too proud, too stubborn to accept them. Queen Nia had stayed quiet throughout the whole thing. She wasn’t involved in the disputes and she was still angered by what Lexa had said earlier. Clarke knew the meetings where Nia spoke up were coming, and she wasn’t looking forward to them, but she was thankful that it wasn’t going to be today.

After hours of talking, the meeting was starting to wind down, but then it happened. It was so fast Clarke barely knew what was happening. She saw something moving in the shadows in the corner of the room opposite of where she was standing. She stared at it a moment longer and the hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up. Something wasn’t right about what she was seeing. One of the clan leaders in the room was in the middle of speaking about something when Clarke took a step forward from behind Nia’s seat to stand in front of her. The man who was speaking stopped and the entire room all started to stare at Clarke wondering what she was doing. Before anyone could question her, there was a loud yell, “Death to Azgeda, death to Queen Nia,” and the man in the shadows came sprinting out into the light, charging the Queen. Clarke stood in the man’s path, having already known he was there, and she was able to easily disarm him. The next thing she knew, she had a dagger to his throat and a sickening glint in her eye. “No one threatens Queen Nia,” Clarke bellowed, loud enough for everyone to hear. Then, without hesitation, she slid the dagger across the man’s throat. Blood shot out from the wound and sprayed across her face and the body dropped into a lifeless heap on the ground.

The room stared at Clarke in shock, some in fear. All except for Nia of course, who was smiling wickedly. “Twice in one day. Tell me Commander, are you going to let this threat slide as well?” 

Lexa said nothing her eyes, were glued to Clarke who had retaken her place behind Nia’s seat. Clarke’s face was blank, her eyes empty. Lexa felt sick at the sight. Not at the fact that Clarke had killed, it was her job and she did it well, but it was how easily she did it, how it didn’t seem to affect Clarke at all that made Lexa’s stomach churn. What had Queen Nia done to her? She was snapped out of her daze when she heard Titus clear his throat from behind her. Lexa removed her eyes from Clarke to meet Nia before looking at the others in the room. “I will figure out who is behind this and they will pay,” Lexa seethed. “I think that is enough for today. We will reconvene tomorrow. Tonight there will be feast to celebrate the beginning of the Summit,” Lexa said.

The clan leaders all took that as their sign to leave and they dispersed quickly. Nia stood up from her seat and turned to Clarke, “I told you you could handle being a guard. Now dispose of the body and then you are free to do as you please tonight.” With that, Nia left with Cyrus, Roan taking his place behind them.

Clarke walked over to the body and bent down beside it to get a look at the man. Her eyes scanned the body of of the dead assassin, and there was something that Clarke found familiar about him, but she couldn’t quite place him. She felt another presence move closer to the body and she didn’t have to look up to know who it was. “He is an assassin. There are no markings to show his origin. I doubt you will find who ordered this attack,” Clarke said without picking her eyes up. She didn’t want to see the look on Lexa’s face now that she knew how dark Clarke had become. 

Lexa took a step over the body and bent down beside Clarke. She reached out and put a finger under Clarke’s chin, raising it so the blonde met her eyes. Clarke was surprised by not only the action itself, but also by the look she was receiving. Lexa wasn’t looking at her with disgust or anger. Concern yes, but there was no fear, no hatred. “Are you alright?” Lexa asked. It was second time in as many days that Lexa had asked her that. Clarke wasn’t used to such a question. The only person who ever showed that they cared about Clarke was Roan, and that was not a question he often asked. He never needed to, he knew the answer. They were both trapped, forced to serve an evil tyrant and there was nothing they could do about it. She wasn’t even close to alright. The fact that Lexa cared enough to ask though, was something Clarke appreciated a lot.

Clarke swallowed. “I’ve learned to accept death. Besides, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever done,” she admitted. 

Lexa could read the sincerity and the absolute hurt that those words brought. It felt like someone had jabbed a knife into her gut and was slowly twisting it. That once hopeful, determined, peace oriented girl now looked so small, so broken. Lexa had no idea what had happened to Clarke in the two years she was gone, but whatever it was, Nia was going to pay for it. 

After a moment of just looking into each others eyes, Clarke broke out of her trance and moved to pick up the body to dispose of it. “Clarke, you don’t have to that,” Lexa said. “I will have one of my guards do it.”

Clarke shook her head, “Queen Nia gave me an order. I will follow it.” Lexa felt the knife twist farther. Whatever Nia was holding over Clarke it must be big. Clarke lifted the body with ease and threw it over her shoulder. She walked out of the throne room with the body in her arms. Clarke felt eyes on her with every step she took until the body was out of her hands and properly disposed of. When she was done, she made her way back to the tower. She was covered in blood still, so she made her way back to her room to clean up. She washed all of the blood off of her skin, but it didn’t matter. Her hands still looked red. The blood was still there and no matter what Clarke tried, she would never be able to wash it off. 

Clarke stepped out of her bathroom and into her room. This was all too much. She thought she had learned how to stop herself from feeling, but it was clear she hadn’t. It made sense in a way though. In Azgeda, Clarke was alone. The only person she had was Roan and he was being put through just as much shit as she was. He didn’t know much of the girl that she once was, and he didn’t expect her to be that person, but here it was different. She was surrounded by people who knew her, who cared for her at least at some point in her life. She hadn’t been immune to her feelings, she had simply been hiding from them. Now that she was in Polis, she couldn’t hide anymore. She was getting severely overwhelmed. Queen Nia, Octavia, Raven, her mother, Bellamy, Lexa. Clarke had so much pent up emotion she was ready to explode, and she did. She grabbed the edge of the table in her room and with a loud grunt she flipped it over. She grabbed a chair and threw it across the room. It collided with the wall and shattered into pieces, and she let it all out. She rampaged throughout her room smashing and destroying everything until she was stopped by her doors bursting open.

Clarke turned to see who had come into her room and there was Lexa. Queen Nia was busy off somewhere in Polis, so Lexa had come to the Azgeda floor to check on Clarke. When she heard all the noise coming from Clarke’s room, she bursted in to make sure she was alright. She was taking in the destruction in the room with wide eyes. Then her eyes locked on Clarke’s. “I’m sorry,” Lexa whispered. She took a few steps towards Clarke who was frozen in place. Her breaths were heavy and there were angry, frustrated tears already streaming down her face. “I never meant for this to happen.”

A single tear escaped Lexa’s eye and rolled down her cheek. Clarke reached up to swipe it away, “You didn’t do this.”

“If I hadn’t left you wouldn’t have had to do what you did on the mountain. You wouldn’t have felt so broken that you needed to leave your people. Nia never would have found you,” Lexa replied.

“Lexa, don’t blame yourself for this,” Clarke begged. The look in Lexa’s eyes was heartbreaking. Clarke knew her orders were to make Lexa suffer, but she couldn’t stand the look in Lexa’s eyes at this moment. The brunette was genuinely in pain over her. 

“Please Clarke. Tell me what she has on you. I want to help you,” Lexa whispered pleadingly.

“You are helping me,” Clarke whispered back. “Over the past months I haven’t felt... anything. The minute I saw you, I could feel my heart beating again. You are helping me Lexa.”  
Lexa couldn’t stop the next few tears from escaping her eyes, and Clarke swiped them away just like she had the first one. Clarke may be feeling a whirlwind of emotions. She may be lost and in a whole lot of pain, but there was one thing she knew. The feeling she felt around Lexa wasn’t confusing. She needed her. She leaned forward slowly and pressed her lips softly to Lexa’s. The brunette was clearly surprised by the action, but when she calmed down, she kissed Clarke back passionately. She never thought that she would see Clarke again, let alone have a moment like this with her and she wasn’t going to let it pass. 

Clarke pushed her lips harder into Lexa and she wrapped her hands behind her neck. Lexa’s hands found purchase on Clarke’s hips and she pulled the blonde closer. Lexa continued to kiss Clarke until she realized exactly what she was doing. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be here in this moment with Clarke, it was just that the last time they had kissed, Clarke had pulled away and said she wasn’t ready. There had been hope in her words, she didn’t say no outright, it just wasn’t the right time for her and Lexa understood that. But then the mountain happened, and Clarke had gone missing, and they had only just reunited a little over one day ago. She wanted her moment with Clarke more than anything. Actually, she wanted more than just a moment with her, so she didn’t want to rush this. She needed to be absolutely sure that Clarke was ready, so she pulled away. “Clarke?” she questioned.

Clarke opened her eyes and blue met green. Clarke knew why Lexa was stopping her. This was fast and she wasn’t ready the last time, but she couldn’t deny her feelings anymore. Over the past two years she had been furious with Lexa, but then she moved passed what happened on the mountain and found a way to forgive her. Once she had forgiven Lexa, there were a lot of feelings that Clarke held towards her. She tried to ignore them, to hide from them. She told herself that those feelings weren’t real, that she just missed the moments that her and Lexa had shared in the past, but that wasn’t true. She didn’t miss the moments she had shared with Lexa, she missed Lexa. In fact she more than just missed her, she cared for her. It was strange and it was fast and she knew she probably shouldn’t be feeling this way, but Clarke couldn’t deny it anymore. It was like a part of her was missing, but Lexa made her feel whole again. She may have only been in Polis for a day, she may have only spoken to Lexa a few times, but it was enough for Clarke to realize how much she really cared about the brunette. She had tried so hard when she was in Azgeda to build up her walls and block out her emotions, but when her eyes met Lexa’s when she was introduced in the throne room, her walls crumbled. Clarke felt drawn to Lexa, like there was an invisible force pushing them together, and she wasn’t going to fight it. “I know I wasn’t ready before,” Clarke started. She was looking up into a pool of green and their faces were so close, she could feel Lexa’s hot breath against her own lips. “And I know we just found each other again, but I’m tired of hiding Lexa. What you did on the mountain saved your people, and what I did on the mountain saved mine. I couldn’t deal with it at first, but over time, I learned how to accept what I had done and what you had done. I’m tired of being angry and I’m tired of blocking out my feelings. You make me feel whole, you make me feel complete, and you make me feel things that I have not felt in a really long time. I want you Lexa. If it’s too soon, if you don’t, I understand, but-”

Lexa surged forward, cutting her words off, and captured Clarke’s lips again. She understood what Clarke was feeling because Clarke made her feel the same way. It didn’t matter that the blonde had only been back a day, Lexa had had these feelings long before Clarke had left Arkadia. She wanted Clarke more than she had wanted anything, and now that Clarke wanted her back, she wasn’t going to waste any more time. She pulled Clarke into her body as close as she could and she bit down softly on Clarke’s bottom lip. Clarke let out a small whimper, and she changed the angle of her head, deepening the kiss. When oxygen became a necessity, the two broke apart, their foreheads resting on one another. “As much as I would love to stay here and continue this with you,” Clarke said through her panting, “There is a celebration we have to go to.”

Lexa knew Clarke was right, but that didn’t stop her from pulling the blonde in again and delivering one more kiss to her already swollen lips. When they separated, Lexa slowly backed out of the room and the two never broke eye contact until the door to Clarke’s room separated them. Clarke smiled widely and it stayed on her face even after she realized she was standing in a room full of destruction. She set about cleaning everything up, returning everything that wasn’t broken to its rightful place and discarding everything that was. When she was done, she cleaned herself up and made her way to the elevator with a small smile still upon her lips. She may still have to serve Nia, and she may still be in a lot of danger, but she had Lexa, and for now, that was enough for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed. I know a lot just happened and the kiss came a little quickly, but I just couldn't help it, it felt right in the moment. As always I really appreciate all comments, so let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I got a request last chapter for longer chapters. This one was supposed to be two but I decided to merge them together. I'm fine with writing longer chapters, but you might get fewer updates. Let me know if you guys want longer chapters with maybe more wait time or if you want me to post like I have been. I'm fine with either, so I'll leave it up to you guys.
> 
> Just a quick warning, there is a little torture in this scene. I don't go into a lot of detail, but I'm just warning you.

The feast was held out in the center of Polis. There were many long tables spread out for people to sit, and plenty of tables piled high with all kinds of food from all of the different clans. Lexa had delivered a short speech to begin the feast and when she was done, that’s when when the party went into full swing. There was plenty of food, and with that food came plenty of drinks.

Those at the celebration didn’t seem at all concerned with their alcohol consumption, and early on, a lot of people were feeling the effects. Clarke was sitting with Roan, chatting as they usually did. She could feel Lexa’s eyes on her more often than not and occasionally they would meet each others eyes with a soft smile. It didn’t take Roan long to notice. “You and the Commander seem to be getting along well,” he prodded.

Clarke saw the smirk on his face and knew there was no point in lying, “Yeah we are. I just can’t help it.”

Roan nodded. “I know. I’ve known how much you cared about her for a long time, even when you didn’t. I’m happy for you Clarke, but you need to be careful. You know this is what my mother wants and any type of relationship puts both of you in danger.”

“I know, and I appreciate your concern, but what more could your mother possibly do to me? I’m here, I’m serving her, there is nothing left. She clearly wants me alive and she won’t use the mountain against me when she still needs me to work for her. I know she wants to harm the Commander but I don’t see how she’s going to be able to that. Lexa is is well protected here. She can handle herself and I will have her back. Besides, we haven’t really had the time to discuss much of anything between us yet. Your mother has ordered me to get her to fall for me and to make her trust me and I don’t have a choice in that. If our feelings for each other are real it’ll be more believable for Nia and maybe Lexa’ll be able to find a way to help me, to help us,” Clarke said as she took a sip of her drink.

“Playing both sides is a dangerous game Clarke,” Roan commented.

“I’m not playing both sides. I’m on the Commander’s side. All I have to do is figure out a way to take out Emerson. Until then, yes, I will follow Nia, but she does not have my loyalty.” She couldn’t do anything about Emerson here in Polis, but she could come up with some ideas on how to get to him when she returned. When she had first started out spying on Emerson, she was an inexperienced assassin. Now she was the best of the best and she would find a way to get to him and the threat he posed. All she had to do was plan out what she could on her own, eavesdrop on Nia and some of her more trusted advisors to learn anything she could and stay ahead of the game in Polis, and convince Lexa and Skaikru to leave Azgeda alone and let her figure out her own problems. It may not be the most sound plan ever, but it was what she had and she was going to run with it.  
“One slip up and you’ll be in some deep trouble,” he said and then shoveled some more food into his mouth.

Clarke sighed and then looked slightly to her left to lock onto Lexa, “I know, but I think it’ll be worth it.” Roan smiled at her and nodded. It was clear how much Clarke cared for the Commander and if the looks the Commander occasionally gave Clarke, she felt the same way. He was happy for her. After everything she’d been through, she deserved a little happiness. This was a dangerous game and Clarke would need to be careful if she wanted to succeed, but if anyone could do it, it was Clarke. The two of them returned to a less serious conversation as they continued to enjoy the feast.

Meanwhile, Skaikru were all sitting together at one of the tables. Kane, Abby, Monty, and Harper were on one side and Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln were on the other. Kane was trying to keep the conversation light, but it was clear no one was interested in what he was talking about. Abby was staring at Octavia, looking over each of the bruises and gashes that were across her face, “I can’t believe Clarke did that to you.”

“I’m the one who challenged her to a match. She tried to talk me out of it and she even gave me a chance to give up during the fight, but I didn’t take it. I just think you should be impressed by how much she’s learned. She was incredible,” Octavia gushed, thinking back to the match. Clarke had used a few moves that Octavia had never seen before and she was dying to ask Clarke to teach her how to do them.

“I have to agree with that,” Raven chimed in. “After Lincoln carried O away, I stayed to watch her other matches. She fought literal giants and she still kicked their asses.”

“And the way she disarmed that assassin in the meeting today. That was real skill. She had him disarmed before I really even realized what direction he was coming from,” Octavia added enthusiastically. She leaned into Lincoln’s side and he wrapped his arm around her smiling at his loves enthusiasm. 

“One thing is for sure,” Bellamy grumbled. “That is not the same Clarke who left Arkadia after the mountain.” He was still bitter after Clarke held her sword to his throat. His pride was hurt and he didn’t know how to react to what he had seen so far from the blonde. They were co leaders once, he had trusted her with his life, trusted her more than he trusted anyone, but right now he barely recognized her.

The rest of the table hummed their agreement before Lincoln stepped in. “She’s following the orders of Queen Nia. Queen Nia is the most ruthless leader in all of the coalition, and yes, Heda is ruthless when she needs to be, but she has compassion. Nia doesn’t. Even the simplest mistake in Azgeda can result in the harshest of punishments. I don’t know what happened to her in the two years she was missing, but if she was with Nia, then I am not surprised that she has changed. Most people do not survive her wrath.”

The table went silent for a moment thinking over what Lincoln had said before Bellamy spoke, “Well if Nia is so evil, then why is Clarke following her. She does whatever Nia asks without so much as a word. She held a sword to my neck today because I got too close to her.”

“I doubt it is that simple. The Ice Queen must have something on her,” Lincoln replied, wrapping his arms a little tighter around Octavia.

“If that is the case then why won’t she tell us anything?” Abby questioned.

Instead of Lincoln answering it was Kane, “Come on Abby. If this Queen is holding something over Clarke it is likely that if Clarke talks about it, then Nia will use it.”

“Then we should talk to the Queen. Demand that she return Clarke to her people, and if she doesn’t then we should take her back.”

Lincoln snorted at that, “The Ice Nation army is the biggest and most ruthless in all of the coalition. Even with your tek, you wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“Well we can’t just do nothing,” Abby shot back.

“We have to talk to Clarke,” Kane said. “See if we can get her to tell us anything, but if she doesn’t, there isn’t much we can do Abby.” Kane didn’t like it, but he knew he was right. War with Azgeda was not something that Skaikru could handle and if Clark didn’t give them anything, then there was no way they could help. It was up to Clarke. Abby narrowed her eyes and grumbled to herself, and Kane reached for her hand. The two had grown close over the last two years, and his touch seemed to help calm Abby some, but her frustration was still simmering deep below her outward expressions.

While this conversation was going on, Lexa was speaking with Luna. Just like Roan had with Clarke, Luna noticed Lexa often looking at the blonde. “How are you doing with her here?” Luna asked.

“What?” Lexa asked blinking rapidly as she pulled her attention from Clarke and looked to Luna.

“Lexa, I know you care for her. The last time I saw you talk about someone the way you talk about Wanheda-”

“Clarke,” Lexa corrected.

Luna rephrased, “The last time I saw you talk about someone the way you talk about Clarke, it was Costia.” Lexa flinched slightly at the name of her ex love, but she held herself together.

Lexa said nothing. Luna stared at her with a raised brow, waiting for Lexa to step up and say something, “She’s forgiven me. I didn’t think that I would ever see her again let alone be able to earn her forgiveness, but she’s given it to me. I want to help her, but she won’t talk to me,” Lexa sighed. She was very pleased with the direction her and Clarke were going, but there was still a lot she didn’t know. “She told me a broad story of where she’s been, but she clearly skipped out on a lot.”

“Lexa she was with Queen Nia for somewhere around two years. You know how brutal she is. Maybe Clarke isn’t ready to talk about it yet,” Luna offered and she took a sip of her drink.

“If she doesn’t talk to me, I can’t help her,” Lexa replied. She felt helpless, and out of every emotion that Lexa was used to feeling, helpless was not one of them. 

“Maybe you can’t help her with Nia.” Lexa glared at her, but Luna continued what she was saying, unfazed by the look after being on the receiving end of it so often throughout her life, “Whatever happened to Clarke, whatever is going on, it’s clearly something big. There may not be anything the Commander can do. If you really want to help Clarke, I think you just need to be there for her. I think instead of the Commander, Clarke may need Lexa.” Lexa blinked owlishly. She wasn’t expecting Luna to say anything like that and she really hadn’t thought about it that way. As the Commander, she was so used to being in control and solving her own problems, but with this she couldn’t. It was frustrating and it was not a good feeling, but she couldn’t shake the thought that maybe Luna was right. Lexa opened her mouth to say something back, but her attention was drawn away as Queen Nia walked up to Clarke. She watched as Clarke’s conversation immediately stopped and both her and Roan stood up and bowed their heads, before returning to their seats. Nia took a seat across from them and they began talking, but they were too far away for Lexa to hear what was being said. Then she someone moving in their direction. When Lexa saw who it was she knew something bad was about to happen.

/////

Abby stormed up to Nia. Kane and the rest of Skaikru were hot on her heels, but Abby made it to where she was sitting before they could stop her. “Just who the hell do you think you are?” Abby demanded as she sent a seething glare in the Queens direction.

Clarke tried to pacify the situation, “Mom, stop. What are you doing?” but before anything else could happen, Nia had a dagger to her mother's throat.

The celebrations of the party came to a halt and everyone froze to watch yet another dangerous situation unfold. Marcus, Raven, Octavia, and Bellamy came up from behind Abby. They had tried to stop her, but Abby had moved too quickly and escaped their grasp. They all froze in place when they saw the blade of a knife pressed up against Abby. The Commander and Luna were making their way over from they had talking, which was the opposite side of where Skaikru had come. 

“Mother, please. This is supposed to be a celebration. Let’s not do anything rash,” Roan said, standing up from his seat and holding his hands up towards his mother.

Nia turned to look at Clarke, “This is your mother?”

Clarke nodded, “Yes my Queen. Please, I beg you not to harm her. I will take whatever punishment you see fit in her place.”

Nia turned back to Abby, her teeth barred, “You are lucky I am in a good mood. I have taken people’s heads for less.” Nia lowered the knife and it seemed like the entire party took a collective sigh of relief. Abby stumbled backwards into the arms of Marcus who dragged her back and away from the Ice Queen. Nia then turned her attention to the Commander who had walked up from behind Nia, “It seems I have a punishment to deliver. Is your whipping post set up?”

Lexa grit her teeth. She knew this punishment was for Clarke and she was not interested in letting it occur. She opened her mouth to tell Nia that the punishment wasn’t going to happen, but she felt Luna gently grab her elbow. “There is nothing you can do to stop this Lexa,” she whispered. Lexa let out a low growl, but she knew Luna was right. The Queen had been spoken to in an extremely inappropriate way and by someone who wasn’t from her clan. Clarke had offered to take the punishment instead, and Lexa had no say in the internal affairs of other clans. There was nothing she could do to stop this.

Lexa nodded and led Nia out to the section of Polis where two wooden poles were erected on a platform. The area was basically empty, other than the stage, to make room for whatever crowd would gather for the punishments that would be handed out. The platform was lit up by a good number of torches and Queen Nia, Roan, and Clarke made their way up onto it. Lexa, Luna, and the Skaikru all stood in the front row in front of the platform and everyone else who came to watch stood behind them. The feast had come to an end, the people of Polis either going to watch Wanheda’s punishment or returning to their homes for the night.

“Since I am feeling generous, your punishment will be only twenty lashes,” Nia said as one of her Ice Nation warriors handed her the whip.

Lexa felt her entire body tense and she clenched her fists to the point where her nails started to draw blood. What Nia was offering wasn’t generous. She heard the sounds of the Skaikru beside her all gasping, but she didn’t turn to look at them. She kept her eyes on Clarke and never once moved them.

Clarke turned to Roan and handed him her weapons. It was warm in Polis, and since she didn’t need to dress formally for a feast, she didn’t have more than a thin blue long sleeved shirt on. She turned to show him her back and he used a dagger to cut through the fabric of her shirt to expose her back. Clarke kept her eyes trained on Lexa who was standing in the front of the crowd. Their gazes were connected and neither one of them could take their eyes off the other. Clarke could see that Lexa was struggling with processing what was about to happen. Her eyes gave away her emotions and Clarke could read a lot from her eyes, and right now what she was fear for her. “When this is done, help me cover myself up. I don’t want anyone to see me like this,” Clarke requested of Roan. Clarke’s back was a nasty patchwork of scars and in a few places her skin was melted to show the brands of Azgeda. Her months of torture and her time of training had damaged and scarred most of her body. Her clothing covered just about all of it up, but now she was exposed, and Clarke didn’t want anyone, especially Lexa and Skaikru, to see what she had been through. Not yet.

Roan agreed easily. “Ste yuj,” he murmured and he took a few steps away from her and the posts. Clarke took a deep breath and made her way to stand between the posts. She reached up and wrapped the leather straps that were attached to the post around her hands. She took a deep breath and she stood tall. She gave a nod in Lexa’s direction in an attempt to reassure her. Then she pulled her eyes away from Lexa because she knew she wouldn’t be able to look at the brunettes face while this was happening.

A moment later, Clarke felt a slight sting against her back and she heard the cracking sound of a whip. She could see some people in the crowd flinch and heard a few more gasps, but not a word came from her own mouth. She had been through much worse than this. 

At the seventh lash, Clarke felt her skin start to break open, and a few lashes after that she could feel her blood coat her back more fully. She was still standing tall and had yet to make a sound, which was a surprise to just about everyone in the audience.

When the twentieth lash hit, Clarke unwrapped her hands from the leather straps and then Roan was at her side. He held up a light cloth and wrapped it around Clarke’s body to keep it covered like she had asked. She smiled at him in thanks. “You know you don’t have to be a badass all the time. You can show pain every once in a while,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Your mother ordered me to promote Azgeda strength in any way that I could. I did. Besides, that barely felt like anything compared to Azgeda’s other forms of torture,” Clarke responded blankly. Roan shook his head slightly. This girl was incredibly stubborn and incredibly strong, and she had suffered through much more than she ever deserved.   
Then Queen Nia walked up from behind them, “I would suggest teaching Skaikru their place.”

Clarke bowed her head, “I will make sure this doesn’t happen again my Queen.

Nia smirked, “I should hope not. Go see a healer, I need you well for tomorrow.” Nia’s eyes trailed out into the crowd where the Commander looked absolutely livid. “It looks like you are doing well with the Commander,” she whispered to Clarke. “Keep it up.” With that, Nia left the stage and made her way back to Polis Tower, a grin on her face the entire way. 

Most of the crowd dispersed after that, returning to their homes as the feast had already ended, but there were a few people who stayed behind. Clarke walked without any assistance down the steps of the stage, but Roan stayed close to her side just in case. 

When Clarke got to the ground she was met by her mother. “Clarke,” she started, her voice trembling, her eyes wet with tears.

Clarke held up a hand to silence her, “Stop.” She looked up to meet the eyes of all of the Skaikru, all of those that she had once been so close with, “You all need to stop being so reckless and respect Queen Nia. If anything else happens she will call for your punishment, maybe even death, and I will not be able to stop her. I am a part of Azgeda now and you all need to accept that.” Clarke put Skaikru in their place and pushed passed her mother, not sparing any of Skaikru a second glance. When she passed them, she walked up to Lexa who was standing with Luna. Clarke could see the war of emotions that was going on within the depths of those green eyes. “A pleasure to meet you Wanheda,” Luna said, cutting into the silence that had fallen over the group, “I’m sorry it is under such circumstances. I am Luna, Heda kom Floudonkru.”

Clarke reached out to grasp Luna’s outstretched arm and was barely able to hold back a wince as the skin on her back pulled. “Unfortunate circumstances indeed, but it is nice to meet you Luna,” Clarke said before turning her attention to Lexa, “Commander, would you be able to show me to a healing tent?”

Lexa immediately responded leading Clarke through Polis towards Nyko’s tent, which was closer to the tower. Roan and Luna walked a few steps behind them, to provide assistance if needed, but more to give the two an opportunity to talk. “Are you alright?” Lexa asked.

Clarke smiled as best she could, “Lexa, you need to stop asking me that. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.”

Lexa shook her head, “I will always worry about you Clarke. I’m sorry, I should have stopped Nia from punishing you.” 

Clarke stopped and turned to face Lexa, “Hey, stop that. There was nothing you could have done and you know it.” Lexa couldn’t hold her eyes to meet Clarke’s. Clarke reached out so her hand brushed over Lexa’s. She didn’t want to be too intimate in public, but she knew Lexa needed something to help ground her and she hoped her touch would do that. “Lexa this wasn’t your fault. I’m okay. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Clarke watched as Lexa’s eyes filled with tears, but not a single one dropped. “I’m okay and I will not be going anywhere any time soon. I promise you that,” Clarke reassured. When Clarke grasped Lexa’s wrist, she finally looked up into those gorgeous ocean blue eyes and the sky met the earth for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. She took a few deep breaths before nodding her head and leading Clarke to Nyko. When they arrived, Clarke entered Nyko’s tent with Lexa beside her. She collapsed down onto the bed and let out a long groan. She had been through worse pain, that was true. If she was in a fight or if she really needed to, she could ignore and fight through the pain, but in Nyko’s tent she didn’t have to. Nyko asked Clarke to take of her shirt, but at the request she hesitated. Nyko could sense her discomfort and asked Lexa to leave the tent so he could work alone. Lexa glared at him for a moment, but Clarke reassured her and she slipped outside. Once she was gone, Clarke remover her shirt.

Nyko spent a good bit of time going over her wounds. Clarke felt uncomfortable the entire time. This was the first time someone other than her usual healer had seen the full extent of her injuries. She could see the looks that Nyko was giving her the entire time, but he had been respectful enough not to bring it up. Eventually though, she couldn’t take the looks anymore, “It looks worse than it is.”

Nyko stopped what he was doing and he moved to meet Clarke’s eyes, “I have never seen anyone look worse than you do.”

“You do not know how to talk to a woman,” Clarke aimed for levity, but it clearly didn’t work. 

Nyko narrowed his eyes, unamused. “What you have been through Wanheda… You are lucky to be alive.”

Clarke held his gaze for a moment. She wanted to argue, wanted to downplay it, but she couldn’t. He was right, she was lucky to be alive. “I guess I just wasn’t ready for my fight to end,” Clarke replied. “And you can call me Clarke.” Nyko nodded at the response and he returned to finishing the dressing on Clarke’s back. 

When Nyko was done, he laid Clarke on her stomach on the bed. “Get some rest,” he ordered. Clarke didn’t argue and within minutes, she was passed out.

/////

Clarke awoke with a start, her body jerking slightly as she took a sharp breath in. She winced as she felt pain shoot across her back and she remembered where she was exactly. She was lying on her stomach after receiving her twenty lashes from the night before. Her bed was surrounded by a curtain to separate her from the rest of the tent. She sat up from the bed and saw that there was a set of her own clothing on a stool beside her bed. Roan must have brought it for, she would have to remember to thank him for it later. Clarke didn’t know what time it was, but she assumed it was early since she generally always woke up early, and she couldn’t hear much of anything from outside the tent to suggest otherwise. She changed into her clothing, careful when she pulled on her new shirt and she attached her weapons to all of the separate sheaths she had for them, but instead of wearing her sword on her back like she usually did, she attached it to her hip. 

When Clarke was fully changed, she pulled back the curtain that separated her from the rest of the tent and started to make her way outside. She figured she’d get some light training in before the next meeting of the Summit. When the curtain was moved aside, Clarke could see into the tent and the sight before her took her breath away. Lexa was asleep in a chair right outside the curtain, and Clarke had never seen the older girl look more peaceful than she looked in that moment. Clarke stared at Lexa, unable to look anywhere else when a voice snapped her out of her trance. “It’s not polite to stare,” Lexa said, her eyes still closed.

“Sorry,” Clarke replied sheepishly.

Lexa opened her eyes and she immediately took in the blonde already up and ready for the day, “Are you alright?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “I told you to stop asking me that. I’m okay Lexa.”

“I’m never going to stop making sure you’re alright,” Lexa replied. They were the only two in the tent at the moment, so Lexa was able to talk openly to Clarke.

Clarke pulled over a stool and sat down across from Lexa. “How long have you been out here?”

“I stayed here all night.” 

“I wish I would have known that. I’d have told you to go to your room and sleep in a real bed,” Clarke replied. There was no way that the chair she was in was suitable for a good amount of sleep.

“And I wouldn’t have listen,” Lexa replied honestly earning an eye roll from the blonde.

“Lexa you need to rest. The Summit is only going to get more intense, and enough has already happened. An assassin got into your throne room and went after Queen Nia. The same could happen to you,” Clarke voiced a fear that she had had since the assassin had attacked. Polis was known to have strict defenses and assassins rarely were successful within Polis walls, especially within the tower. If someone could get in to go after Nia, someone could definitely get in to go after the Commander

“Then Indra will take care of the threat just like you did, and I am more than capable of protecting myself. I’m not concerned about that Clarke,” Lexa comforted.

“Well I am. I just got back to you. I don’t want to lose you,” Clarke admitted quietly. 

Lexa stood up from her seat and moved closer to Clarke, “You won’t.” She stopped directly in front of where Clarke was seated and brushed a strand of blonde hair behind the girl’s ear. She slid her hand down from Clarke’s ear so she was caressing her cheek and leaned down to capture Clarke’s lips in a tender kiss. Clarke melted into Lexa’s touch and she wrapped her arms around the girl’s hips, pulling her in to her own body. Lexa broke away to change the angle before returning her lips to Clarke's. 

The two stayed in each others arms for a while longer until they heard rustling coming from outside. They broke apart just as Nyko entered the tent. “Heda, Clarke,” he addressed the two women in the room. “How are you feeling this morning?” 

“I’m fine, thank you,” Clarke replied, but all she got was a doubtful look from Nyko and a concerned one from Lexa. 

“I have some business to attended to before the next Summit meeting today,” Lexa started. “Nyko, before Clarke leaves I would like for you to check her wounds again.”  
“Sha Heda,” Nyko said as he started rummaging through some of his supplies.

“I told you I’m fine,” Clarke started to debate, but the stern look from Lexa told her she didn’t have a choice. She let out an exasperated sigh and moved back to her bed so Nyko could check her back. When Lexa was satisfied that Clarke was going to stay, she left to prepare herself for the meeting that would be happening in a few hours.

Clarke allowed Nyko to check her injuries and then left to get something to eat. She ate her breakfast alone, feeling the eyes of almost everyone on her as she did so. She was still not used to being the center of attention, but what could she do about it? When she finished, she made her way up to her room where she spent a little bit of time before meeting the others and going to Lexa’s throne room.

Again all eyes were on Clarke, word having spread to those who weren’t present, about Wanheda’s punishment the previous night, and now she was in the throne room walking around like nothing had happened. It looked like Skaikru wanted to come and talk to her, but thankfully were cut off when Titus entered the room announcing Lexa’s arrival.   
The meeting went well in Clarke’s opinion. There was an issue between Delphikru and Ingranrona that Lexa needed to look into, but other than that, it went well. The meeting came to an end and all of the clans were dismissed except for Delphi and the Plains Riders to further discuss their issue. Queen Nia requested for Clarke to follow her to her room, and she did so. When they arrived, Nia sat down in her chair and Clarke stood at attention in the center of the room, “I think tonight is the night The Shadow will make her first appearance.”

Clarke felt her heart speed up instantly. This was a conversation she had been dreading ever since arriving in Polis, but she held herself together and bowed her head, “Of course, my Queen.”

“I want you to take out Julius kom Sankru,” Nia ordered.

“The Sankru Ambassador?” Clarke asked, unable to hide her surprise.

“Yes,” Nia clarified. “He is in the way of creating a stronger relationship between Azgeda and Sankru and I want him gone.”

“It will be done,” Clarke said and she quickly exited the room. She had been expecting The Shadow to make an appearance, but she was expecting an easy target, not someone as important as an Ambassador. She didn’t think she would have much of a problem with it, but this would definitely send a message to the clans that The Shadow was in Polis and no one is safe. 

Clarke set out immediately to find the ambassador and begin to watch his movements and learn about his guard detail. She watched him for a while and wasn’t concerned. He was light with the protection, as no one often sent assassins in to Polis, especially after an ambassador. She found him at one of Polis’ taverns and he was already drinking and it wasn’t very late in the day. He wasn’t very smart and he definitely wasn’t careful about his actions. Clarke was out in the open as she spied on him, which may not have been the wisest idea considering everyone knew who she was, but she figured she would be able to see more if she was able to get close instead of having to hide somewhere in the shadows to spy on him. She was sitting at the table closest to his, but she was forced to stop watching him when she heard someone call out her name.

Clarke turned to see who had called her and saw Octavia and Raven heading in her direction. “Mind if we sit?” Raven asked. Clarke held out her hand towards the open seats in invitation and the two girls sat down. The two girls looked like they wanted to say something, but they were struggling to get it out. “We just wanted to say sorry about everything that happened yesterday between Skaikru and Azgeda,” Raven finally managed to apologize.

“It wasn’t either of your faults,” Clarke said, looking at Raven, as she was unable to meet Octavia’s eye after the beating she had delivered to the girl. The limp she had was gone, and the bruises across her face were starting to fade, but still visible. 

“I don’t know what you’ve been through Clarke, and clearly you’ve changed from the person we remember, but I’m really glad you’re okay,” Raven said with sincerity.  
Octavia nodded and added on, “Yeah and I really need you to show me a few of those moves you used in our sparring match. I want to be able to do them.”  
Clarke was touched by the sentiment. She wasn’t expecting to hear anything like this from the two Skaikru. She finally looked up to meet the green gaze of Octavia, “You aren’t mad at me?”

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right?” Octavia said. “Besides I’m the one who challenged you even after your warning. I’m serious about those moves though. I want to learn them.”

“I’d be happy to teach them to you,” Clarke said with a smile. She was very happy to be getting along with these two once again, she had missed them over the past two years.  
The three of them talked for a while longer before they separated. Clarke had returned to her room and was changing her clothing into her black assassins uniform. Even though what she was about to do was a bad thing, she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. Her, Octavia, and Raven had talked for hours sharing a few stories and reaquanting themselves with each other. It was the last thing Clarke was expecting, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to complain about it. When Clarke was fully dressed and armed she pulled out a small pot full of black paint. Usually Azgeda warriors wore white paint, but because she was an assassin and needed to blend in with the shadows, she used black. She covered her eyes to create a mask similar to the Commander’s, but without the three drips. Once the mask was painted over her eyes she drew a single line down from where the center of her eye was to her chin.

Once the paint was on, Clarke was ready, but she needed to do one more thing before she left for her mission. Clarke left her room and entered Roan’s, but he wasn’t there. She waited for only a short while until the door opened and he entered. He walked into his room, not noticing Clarke’s presence. “You should be more aware of your surroundings,” Clarke said, coming out of the shadows from the corner of the room causing Roan to jump much more than she would ever be able to get him to admit.

“I hate assassins,” Roan grumbled to himself before he took in Clarke’s appearance. “I guess my mother has given you an assignment.”

“Julius kom Sankru,” Clarke said with a nod.

“An Ambassador? Is that wise?” Roan asked, not really thinking the question through.

“It’s not like it’s my choice,” Clarke said with a smirk. “It won’t be a problem. The man’s a drunk, it’ll be quick and easy.”

“It generally is for you,” Roan commented. “What do you need me for?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to talk before I do this. Once it’s done there is no going back.”

Roan nodded and took a seat on the edge of his bed, “Yes. The Shadow will become the talk of the Summit and you’ll have to sit through it. Plus, this is a major hit and it clearly plays in to whatever twisted plan my mother has.”

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose, “Yeah. Well, here we go. I doubt anything will happen, but if someone comes looking for me will you cover for me?”

Roan nodded, “Of course. Good luck and be careful.”

Clarke left Roan with a reassuring smile and then left the room to go down to the tavern where Julius would be. With Clarke in her black assassin gear, she couldn’t take the elevator down, so instead she took the stairs hiding in the shadows and using whatever she could to keep from being seen as she descended. It took awhile, but Clarke made it out of the tower without an issue. Once she was outside, she made her way to the tavern, using whatever cover she had to get to the tavern unnoticed.

Luckily for Clarke, Julius was sitting at a table outside and was already heavily drunk. There were only two guards standing near him, but they left a little space between him and them. 

Clarke had been watching them for a while from the roof of the tavern, her best vantage point, and when she saw her opening she dropped down. She crept her way over to him and before anyone saw anything, her knife was in and out of the side of his neck. Julius reached up to cover the wound as he started gurgling and choking on his own blood. His guards were by his side the next instant, but it was too late. The two of them spun around, searching for the killer, and one of them caught a glimpse of a figure in black before it disappeared into the shadows. 

At this point, the people around the area were running around in a panic and the Polis guards arrived to check out the scene. Clarke was already well gone at this point and there was no way to track her. She made her way back up to her room with no problem. She cleaned herself off and changed back into Azgeda colors before laying down on her stomach on her bed. She finally noticed that her back was aching so she decided not to move anymore for the rest of the night. Clarke was grateful that the Commander was still involved in that Delphikru issue because she was a mess and didn’t want Lexa to see her like this.

/////

Clarke didn’t sleep well at all that night so she made her way to the training grounds early that morning. It didn’t take long for Roan to join her, “I see you were successful last night.”

“I told you it wouldn’t be a problem,” Clarke responded as she walked with Roan to take a seat away from the training pits. She had been out there alone for a while and her back needed a chance to rest.

“Are you ready for the meeting today?” he asked, already pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Not even a little,” Clarke responded dryly.

“How’s your back?”

“It’s been better, but it’s also been worse. I checked it in the mirror this morning and it looks like it's starting to heal. I was actually surprised when I looked at it. Your mother didn’t hit me nearly as hard as she usually would,” Clarke answered.

“I would expect not. She needs you able to move around and follow her orders. She doesn’t need an injury to hold you back. I suspect it was more of a show aimed more at the Commander than anything else,” Roan explained.

Clarke nodded, it would make sense. Her back did hurt there was no doubt, but in the moment it didn’t feel like more than a sting. It took quite a few lashes for Nia to even break skin and she was able to walk around just fine and move her body relatively freely. 

Clarke and Roan spoke for a while longer before returning to their rooms to prepare for the meeting. Clarke cleaned herself up and met Nia out in front of her room. She was smiling, clearly excited about what was going to go down in the meeting, while Clarke was feeling the exact opposite. With a deep breath she followed Nia and Cyrus with Roan beside her into the elevator and to Lexa’s throne room. This meeting was going to be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed. Please let me know what you thing and give me your input. Your comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and they really urge me on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so this is the longest chapter so far. It's a lot of information and it's pretty heavy. It is definitely a lot of dialogue, which is my favorite thing to write. It's what I'm best at and for me it really creates an image in my mind, and I hope I am able to help create that for you guys. As always, I really appreciate your comments and kudos and am open to any suggestions or anything else you guys have to say. I hope you enjoy!

The meeting had been going on for hours. They had taken a lunch break a while ago and now where all back at the meeting. It was awful. The entire conversation was about The Shadow and the threat that each leader in the room felt. The Sankru ambassadors chair was empty, and Clarke’s eyes seemed to always travel to it.

Every clan, including Azgeda, had voiced their concerns, and Clarke was forced to listen to all of it. She felt like she was suffocating. Each time someone said something about her felt like a blow to the gut. She was called a monster more times than she could count, she could see the fear in the eyes of many of the people who spoke about her, and that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was when all the clan leaders went into detail on every assassination that The Shadow had committed within their lands. The stories from each guard and possible eye witness was the same, a figure came from the shadows, killed their target and escaped, all without being seen. Some people were beginning to believe that The Shadow was a ghost, a literal shadow, that’s how good she was. She didn’t enjoy hearing the details of each of death she had caused, but each clan leader depicted the scenes of the assassinations well enough for Clarke to picture every single one of them in her mind. She remembered every kill, not allowing herself to forget, so she had a clear picture in her mind of the different deaths that were being recounted.

Lexa didn’t make matters easier at all. She would listen to each of the clan leaders and speak about The Shadow with an unreadable look on her face. Clarke knew if she had a better angle and was able to look the Commander in the eye, she would be able to read how she was feeling, but she couldn’t and if she was being honest she didn’t want to.

Once the clans had finished expressing their fears and their issues with The Shadow, they moved on to coming up with a plan to protect the people and capture her if possible. Lexa had told everyone to increase their guards. She said she would increase guards throughout the city and at the gates of Polis. Anyone with any information or thoughts on The Shadow was to speak with her or one of her advisors immediately. There was an even higher bounty placed on her head, and she was to be captured alive if possible, but if not, a kill shot was permitted.

Clarke wasn’t worried about any of that. Of course more guards would make it more difficult for her if Nia gave her another target, but she would figure it out. She wasn’t worried about everyone being allowed to kill her either because she was never seen and she never would be seen. She was too good for that.

After the longest and most painful meeting of her life, Lexa dismissed everyone. She remained in her throne room with Titus and Indra. When the room had cleared Titus spoke, “Heda, you need to find a way to capture this assassin. Your people are afraid and they need to know that you can protect them.”

“I know that Titus,” Lexa snarled from her seat on her throne. Lexa was frustrated. An assassin had snuck into Polis under her watch and assassinated one of her ambassadors and she had no idea who they were or how to catch them. Her people relied on her to protect them, keep them safe from outside threats, and currently she was failing in that duty. “What would you have me do? This assassin has never been seen. No one knows anything about them. How do I catch someone like that?” Titus was silent from where he was standing, clearly not having an answer for her. 

“Heda you must be careful,” Indra spoke up from the other side of Lexa. “Most of the targets that The Shadow has taken out have been a close supporter of yourself. You could be next.”

Lexa stood up from her throne and started to pace the floor of her throne room, “Yes, I noticed that. I do not think they after me though. If they were, they would have already tried.”

“That may not be true Heda. They may not have had the opportunity to get to you yet. You are very well guarded, nearly impossible to get to,” Titus added.

“I do not think that is the case. An assassin as good as The Shadow should have the ability to get to me. I do not think I am their target. I think if we want to find this assassin, we have to find their leader. Assassins rarely work alone, they usually take orders from someone. I need to find out who that is,” Lexa said, still pacing.

“Azgeda would be the best place to start,” Indra said, not holding back her disdain towards the Ice Nation. “They use assassins most commonly and their’s usually are the most skilled.” 

Lexa hummed in agreement, “It would also explain why they haven’t gone after me. Nia wants to see me suffer, she would not want my death to be at the hands of an assassin in a non public manner.”

As the three of them continued to talk more about The Shadow and what they should do about it, Clarke and Roan were led by Nia into her room. “That was a very entertaining meeting would you not agree?” Nia asked with a grin.

Clarke bristled slightly, so Roan stepped up, “What is it you wanted to discuss mother?”

“I just wanted to inform you that I will be enacting a plan involving both of you very soon. It will serve to make the Commander suffer even more than she already is right now,” she turned to look at Clarke. “You are doing a very good job with that by the way Clarke. Every time she looks at you I can see the pain in her eyes. Keep drawing her in.”

Clarke nodded her head, but said nothing. She could feel her blood boiling and chose not to speak to make sure she didn’t say anything out of line. Nia was going to pay for what she was doing to Clarke and definitely for what she was doing to Lexa. Clarke just needed to wait for her chance to strike. Nia continued, “Everything is going along so well. the Commander is still scrambling to figure out who sent that assassin to kill me, and she’ll never discover that it was me who did it myself. Plus, now she has to figure out who The Shadow is, and we all know that won’t happen.”

Roan cleared his throat, “I’m sorry mother, but did you say that you hired the assassin that Clarke killed?”

“I did,” Nia nodded. “The Commander will never think to look at me for hiring an assassin to kill myself. He was not a very good assassin anyway. Clarke, I know you saw him before he even tried to attack me.”

Clarke nodded, “Yes my Queen. I did.”

“Well I got rid of a useless assassin, showed the other clan leaders that the Commander is not doing a good job of protecting her people in Polis, and I got to show the Commander and the others a little of what you could do and that you follow me. Everything is going along perfectly.” Roan and Clarke just stood and stared at Nia a little surprised, even though they probably shouldn’t have been, over just how insane Nia was. She hated the Commander so much to go to such great lengths to make her suffer. It was ridiculous. “You may go. I will speak to you more when I intend to incorporate the next part of my plan. Keep following your orders,” Nia instructed and Clarke and Roan left her room. 

The two of them walked to the elevator and waited for the doors to close before they spoke. “Your mother is insane,” Clarke said.

“The Commander killed my father. It was with good reason, but my mother hates her for it. She is also in search of power and she intends to take it from the Commander. I don’t know what it is, but she clearly has a plan,” Roan said. 

“That’s exactly what Dak said,” Clarke whispered more to herself than to Roan, but he still heard her. He raised an eyebrow waiting for her to elaborate. The elevator doors opened and Clarke led Roan outside and to a quiet area where they could talk. “Before Dak was killed, he told me I needed to escape Azgeda. He said Queen Nia had a plan involving me and that he didn’t know what it was, but I was the center of it. That’s why he wanted me to escape so badly. He knew that if I stayed, she would be able to use me for whatever she has planned. I agreed to try and escape, but after he was killed along with those two Skaikru,” Clarke shook her head and trailed off from her previous sentence. “Nia is going to use me to try and gain control of the coalition. What do I do Roan?”

Roan exhaled deeply. “You keep doing what you’ve been doing. Clarke, she will kill all of Skaikru if you don’t,” he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you trust the Commander?” he asked. “And don’t get all weird about it. Seriously, do you trust her?”

“I do,” Clarke said without hesitation.

“Then I think you should talk to her. Don’t tell her everything, you can’t, but there are some things that you can tell her. Let her in on some of Nia’s plans and see what help she can provide,” Roan suggested.

“If I do that, I’ll have to tell her everything that has happened to me. I’m not sure if she’ll be able to hear it and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to tell it,” Clarke admitted quietly.  
Roan reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, “I know you’ve been through a lot, but I think you should let her in. It’ll be hard, but I think it’ll be worth it.”

Clarke closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. He was right, it was time to let everyone in. At least on some parts of the past two years. Before that though, Clarke needed to let out some of her energy and frustration from the meeting earlier. She went with Roan to the sparring pits and the two of them put on a show of their own before beating the hell out of their next challengers. 

/////

Lexa left Polis Tower and made her way to the tavern where the Sankru Ambassador had been killed. The body had been removed and taken away to be burned, but everything else was in the same position as it had been the night before. Lexa started to examine the scene trying to find any sign that The Shadow may have left behind. She started from the table where Julius was killed and looked for any clue, but found none. Then she started to look for escape routes.

There were a few different paths The Shadow could have used to get away, and Lexa checked each and every one of them, but again there was no sign of anything. She decided to widen her scope. Assassins like to watch their targets and wait for the perfect moment to strike. The best way to watch your target without being seen was up high. Lexa climbed up onto the roof of every building that was surrounding the table that Julius had been sitting at. She found the best vantage points possible and found that the roof of the tavern would have been the closest, smartest option. 

There was still no sign of the assassin, but she didn’t really expect to find one. The Shadow was the best assassin in the coalition for a reason. Lexa mapped out the course of action she would have taken if she was The Shadow and it was actually very close to what Clarke had actually done. There were a few differences, but Lexa wasn’t a highly skilled assassin, so it made sense that she didn’t take the exact same route.

She spent a little while longer searching, but there was no sign that could provided even the slightest clue about The Shadow. Lexa was confident that she had at least mapped out the route the assassin had most likely taken and considered maybe, if she tried to set something up, she would be able to catch them, but that was a long shot.

When Lexa was done she started to make her way back to Polis Tower. There was a lot going through her mind at the moment. Two assassins had made their way into Polis and had attempted their own assassinations. Luckily, one of them wasn’t successful, but Lexa still needed to figure out who had sent them. Her head was spinning with information. She had to find the identities of two assassins with absolutely nothing to go on, and her people were hounding her for answers. She had to do what she could to find out who these assassins were though, so her first decision was to start with Azgeda and there was one blonde member of Azgeda that Lexa was actually excited to go and talk to.

As she was walking to her tower, Nyko stepped up to her. “Heda,” he said. “I am sorry to interrupt but I was wondering if I could speak to you about Clarke for a moment.”

Lexa immediately felt panic start to take over, but she managed to keep her stoic mask of indifference on her face as she let Nyko lead her to his tent. “Is she alright?”

Lexa walked into Nyko’s tent and saw that the blonde wasn’t in there, and she immediately took a sigh of relief. “I’m unsure Heda.” Lexa’s eyebrows creased and Nyko continued. “She seems to be alright. Her lashes seem to be healing well and she isn’t bothered by the pain.”

Lexa’s brows furrowed. That seemed like good news, not bad. “What is the problem then?”

“That’s just it. She isn’t bothered by the pain. Heda, twenty lashes usually takes down even the strongest warriors for longer than the few hours of rest that she had,” he took a heavy breath before continuing. He felt what he was about to say was necessary, but he was not excited to see Lexa’s reaction. He had seen how close Clarke and Lexa were in his tent and the fact that Lexa had stayed the night, Nyko knew that Clarke meant something to Lexa. This could be very bad. “Heda has she talked to you any about what she has been through?”

Lexa balked at the question. She wasn’t expecting him to ask that. Why was he asking about that? Lexa hadn’t been able to spend a lot of time with Clarke and when she was able to spend time with her, the blonde avoided such questions. Lexa could feel her heart pick up slightly and her nerves increased, “No, we have not discussed much of the past two years yet.”

“Heda I don’t know if I should be discussing this with you, but she is one of your subjects, and you deserve to know what is happening to your people,” he started. Lexa nodded, urging him to continue. He swallowed thickly. “Almost all of her body is covered in scars and brands. It is clear that she was tortured for a long period of time. Heda, those wounds… She is lucky to be alive. I tried to speak to her about it, but she just brushed it off like it was nothing. I know that each clan is allowed their own rules, their own training and discipline within their own territory, but Heda what she has been through is too much. I just thought you deserved to know.”

Lexa felt sick. She had known that whatever had happened to Clarke wouldn’t have been peaceful, but she couldn’t imagine what Nyko was describing to her. She didn’t put it past Queen Nia to torture someone, no that wasn’t it, she just couldn’t physically picture Clarke the way Nyko was describing her. She didn’t want to believe it. 

Time seemed to slow down and she left Nyko’s tent in a daze without saying a word to him. He knew it wasn’t exactly his place to reveal what he had, but he felt that he had to. He watched as she half walked half stumbled out of his tent and through Polis on her way to find Clarke.

/////

Clarke had won a few of her own sparring matches even though she had been moving much slower and being much more careful than she usually would to accommodate her still healing back, and it was starting to get dark out. The pits were lit up enough to see however, so Clarke didn’t feel the need or want to leave. After a while, Octavia made her way out to the pit with Raven beside her, “I don’t want to spar. I just wanted to see if you had some time to teach me a few of those moves you used.” Clarke had easily agreed and the two had been working together for a while. Raven took a seat at the edge of the pit to watch, laughing every time Clarke took Octavia down. Clarke was impressed with Octavia’s skills. She was fast and resourceful and she never ever gave up. Clarke enjoyed teaching her, but she also enjoyed showing her up. She also enjoyed Raven’s commentary over from the side. It made for a very entertaining evening.

Clarke was trying to teach Octavia a specific type of flip when she noticed Lexa staring at her from a little ways away. She could see the blank look on the brunettes face and knew something was wrong. “Octavia I think that’s enough for to today.”

Octavia took a sigh of relief and reached towards her ribs, “Good, I need to sit down for a while. Thanks for your help Clarke. I really appreciate it.”

“Yeah I do too. Anytime I get to watch Octavia fall on her ass is a good night,” Raven added with a laugh.

Octavia glared at her and mumbled something to herself as she walked towards the raven haired girl. “No problem. I’m happy to train with you whenever you want, and I’m always happy to entertain,” Clarke said. It felt good to be able to talk to her friends like this again. It almost made everything feel normal. Almost.

Clarke walked out of the pits and straight towards Lexa. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Clarke asked as soon as she was close enough.

“I need to talk to you,” Lexa replied. She didn’t look at Clarke and her body language was off. Something was definitely wrong. 

“Yeah of course,” Clarke agreed. “Lead the way.”

Lexa took Clarke into the tower and all the way to the top floor. The walk from the pits to the elevator was a little awkward and the elevator ride even more so, but they made it. Lexa led Clarke down the hall and into a giant bedroom which Clarke assumed was Lexa’s. It looked similar to her room with tables and chairs, a couch, and the bed. Lexa’s bed was a little bigger but not much. There were some maps and some small figures spread out on the tables and there were tons of candle spread out everywhere throughout the room.

“What’s wrong?” Clarke asked again when they were both inside.

“I spoke to Nyko,” Lexa said, finally looking into the blue of Clarke’s eyes.

Clarke swallowed. She knew what they must of talked about, but she decided to test it anyway. “And?”

“He told me about the scars,” Lexa replied. Clarke closed her eyes and looked down to the ground. She knew this moment was coming, but boy she was not prepared for it. “I need to see.” It came out as barely a whisper, but Clarke heard it anyway.

Clarke inhaled slowly through her nose, “Are you sure?”

Clarke opened her eyes to look at Lexa and saw the girl nod. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and slowly reached down to the hem of her shirt. She peeled it back slowly, taking off her shirt and tank top in one go, until the clothing was completely off her body. She dropped it on the ground and met Lexa’s eyes, standing only in her breast band.

Lexa slowly let her eyes travel down Clarke’s body and she couldn’t hold back the gasp at what she saw. Clarke’s skin looked exactly as Nyko had described. There were all different types of scars covering her front and it was clear that most of them were from torture and not battle. Lexa stepped towards Clarke and reached out with her hands to traced one of the scars across Clarke’s abdomen with her fingertips. Clarke gasped at the touch. No one had touched her this gently, with this much care in a really long time. Lexa slowly walked around to Clarke’s back and her heart nearly stopped. Clarke’s back was even worse than her front. The markings from Clarke’s recent whipping were clear, but the scars underneath were what Lexa couldn’t take her eyes off of. Her eyes trailed over each and every one of them until she came up to the symbol of Azgeda that was branded on her back. The symbol wasn’t the clearest, as it looked like the scorching brand had been placed in the same spot multiple times, but Lexa recognized it. The skin there probably hadn’t ever healed before the brand was placed on it again and it looked like it had been placed there multiple times. Lexa couldn’t imagine the pain that Clarke must have been in. She made her way back to Clarke’s front, “Clarke,” she whispered hoarsely, her voice broken.

Clarke reached up to cup Lexa’s cheeks, wiping away the steady stream of tears that were pouring out of Lexa’s eyes. It didn’t matter though because every time Clarke would wipe one away, another would replace it. “Clarke how did you survive this?”

“Honestly, I probably shouldn’t have,” Clarke said softly. “But Nia, she had something on me, and I couldn’t let her use it. There was another reason too. I wasn’t willing to admit it at the time but I am now. It was the thought of the people I cared about. The people I loved and who loved me. I couldn’t leave them behind. I survived because of them. I survived because of you.”

Lexa couldn’t hold back her sob. Clarke pulled her in close and wrapped her arms tightly around the other girl. She whispered quiet reassurances into her ear until Lexa had calmed down. “Clarke I need to know what happened to you,” Lexa said after a while.

“I know and I can’t tell you everything, but I’ll tell you all that I can, but I want Skaikru there too. I don’t want to tell this story more than once. You can bring in anyone you trust if you want them to hear everything too,” Clarke said.

Lexa nodded and exited her room to tell her guards to gather Skaikru and a few others and have them wait for her in her throne room. The guard left to follow her orders, and Lexa returned to her room.

“There are a few things I should tell you in private though. Nia knows about… us? I guess is the best way to say it,” Clarke started. She and Lexa hadn’t had a lot of time to be together or to discuss what they were yet, but that was the best way Clarke could think to phrase it.

“How?” Lexa asked.

“She said she had some spies at the mountain. They reported to her that you and I spent much more time together than was necessary. She only confirmed that fact, when you continued to send out search parties for me even when Skaikru had stopped,” Clarke explained.

“I wasn’t going to stop looking until I had answers,” Lexa replied.

Clarke smiled and took a step forward, placing a soft kiss to Lexa’s lips, “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself,” she whispered. Lexa reached up and pulled Clarke back towards her, crashing their lips together again. This time the kiss was much longer and much more passionate than before, almost desperate. When they separated Clarke smiled, but tried to get the conversation back on track, “Anyway, Nia wants you to suffer, and she wants to use me to do it. She gave me orders to get close to you. To blame you for everything that’s happened to me and make you suffer for it. She said she wanted me to get you to let me in. To lower your walls and get you to let your guard down. She obviously has something planned, but I’m not sure what that is yet. I just thought I should tell only you that instead of everyone.”

Lexa nodded and kissed Clarke again. When they separated, Lexa couldn’t stop her eyes from travelling over Clarke’s body again. “It’s not your fault,” Clarke whispered, knowing that Lexa would be blaming herself for the condition of her body. “Don’t ever believe that you had anything to do with this. No matter what I say when I tell you what happened to me in Azgeda, know that,” Clarke said. She reached out to swipe away another tear from Lexa’s cheek. She could tell Lexa was torn up over this, but Clarke was not going to let Lexa for one second blame herself for this. It was all Nia.

“I’m so glad you’re alive Clarke,” Lexa whispered. “After all the time of searching with no answers, I didn’t think I would ever see you again.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and pulled her down so their foreheads were resting on each other. “I’m right here Lexa,” she whispered from less than an inch away from Lexa’s lips. “I’m right here. Right where I’m supposed to be,” and their lips met again, their bodies molding against each other like they were made for each other. Maybe they were.

/////

Clarke paced back and forth outside of Lexa’s throne room. Lexa had dismissed her guards and was standing in front of the door watching the blonde. They had spent a good while in Lexa’s room talking and just holding each other, but now it was time for Clarke to tell her story. Lexa could tell the girl was panicking, and there really wasn’t much to say because she was panicking too. Lexa just couldn’t get the images of Clarke’s mutilated body out of her mind and in a few minutes she was going to hear how she got her scars.

Clarke had started whispering to herself trying to prepare for what she was about to do and that was when Lexa stepped in. She stood before Clarke and put her hands on her shoulders to stop her from pacing, “Clarke, stop. You can do this.”

Clarke sighed, “This is going to be a lot for everyone Lexa. Including me. I’m not sure if I’m ready for everyone to look at me like I’m… like I’m broken.”

Lexa moved her hands up from Clarke’s shoulders and cupped her cheeks, “No one will look at you like your broken, and even if they do, I won’t. You are strong Clarke, and every time I look at you, that is all I will see.”

Clarke smiled a little, it wasn’t much, but it was enough for her for the moment. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to Lexa’s lips. “Lexa, I need you to promise me that when I’m done telling this story, you won’t do something that could break the coalition,” Clarke said after they separated. She knew Lexa would never do anything to harm her people, but she wanted some form of reassurance anyway. She waited for Lexa to respond, and got a very short, stiff nod. It was all she was going to get and hopefully it was enough. “I also need you to help keep everyone in there from doing something stupid. I don’t need Skaikru starting a war with Azgeda over this.”

“I will do my best Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“Thank you.” Clarke leaned forward to capture the brunette’s lips in a searing kiss one last time. It was exactly what she needed to calm her nerves. When they broke apart, Clarke took a deep breath and steeled herself, “Okay. I’m ready.”

Lexa nodded and she opened the door to her throne room. She walked in with Clarke right behind her. In the room was Kane, Abby, Octavia, Raven, Bellamy, Lincoln, Monty, Harper, Luna, Titus, and Indra. “Commander if I may, what is it that we are here for?” Kane asked. The group was standing in the middle of the room, all unsure of what was about to happen. Lexa’s messenger hadn’t given them anything, just said that they were to wait for the Commander to meet her in her throne room. 

“It’s time I tell you all what’s happened to me over these past two years,” Clarke answered for her. Lexa walked to stand over by the others and Clarke stood by herself. Everyone in the room immediately grew quiet, all interested to hear what she had to say.

Clarke took a deep breath in and started her story, “After the mountain, I hated myself for what I did. I couldn’t stay in Arkadia and see the faces of everyone there without being reminded of what I did, so I left. I stayed out in the woods for three weeks on my own. I struggled at first, but I started to get the hang of living out there alone. I had been on my own for three weeks, when I heard a branch snap. I knew it wasn’t normal so I waited and tried to figure out what it was, but I couldn’t. I started to move on, thought maybe my mind was playing tricks on me or it was just an animal, but then I was attacked. I tried to fight back and I killed one of my attackers, but the other was too big, too strong, and he knocked me out. When I woke up I was on a horse, a hood over my head and a gag in my mouth. I didn’t stay conscious for long and I passed out again. The second time I awoke, I was dragged off the horse and led by my captor to Queen Nia. I don’t who he was. He spoke Trigedasleng and at the time I couldn’t speak it, so I really didn’t know what was going. When the sack and the gag were removed, I found myself in Queen Nia’s throne room.” 

Clarke looked at Lexa for a moment before continuing, “I knew a little about who she was, and I knew she wasn’t someone I wanted to be around. We spoke for a while and she told me she wanted to command the Commander of Death, but she didn’t think that I lived up to the title. She wanted to test me, so she sent me to a place called The Crater.”

Clarke saw recognition in the eyes of Lexa, Luna, Lincoln, Titus, and Indra. It was clear they had heard of it, but she explained it anyway for Skaikru, “The Crater was hell. It was kill or be killed. For four months I was kept in a cell learning the grounder language and culture. The only time I was let out, was to be put in the arena. It was a giant crater in the ground, hence the name. Every time I entered I had to fight to the death against my opponent, and a crowd sat and watched, cheering the entire time. I of course had little skill, but my opponents were never really skilled either. They were sick or weak or injured or they weren’t a soldier and were just as inexperienced as I was. It was all a game to Queen Nia and those who watched. After every fight I was returned to my cell, given a few supplies to manage my injuries and a little time to rest before my next fight. It went on like this for four months until I was told Nia had a final test for me. I was put in the ring with one of the largest panthers I’ve ever seen and somehow managed to win. After that I was freed from that place and taken to Queen Nia once again.”

Clarke paused and looked out onto the faces of everyone. They were all clearly enraptured in her story. “The Crater is a public place. If Wanheda was there rumors would have spread about it,” Titus was the one who spoke. It was clear he was not fully in belief of her story.

“Titus,” Lexa hissed clearly displeased with his questioning of her story.

“It’s okay. If any of you have questions, ask them. I may not be willing to talk about this again,” Clarke said. “The reason no one knew Wanheda was in the pit, is because she wasn’t. They never announced my name. They colored my hair and gave me Azgeda clothing. They took away who I was,” Clarke explained to Titus.

She started to pace the floor now. This was where she had to leave out some details, even change up a little of her story. She couldn’t tell them about Emerson or the fact that she was an assassin, The Shadow no less, so she had to make sure she was careful with just how much she said. When she was ready she started her story again, “I was brought to Queen Nia after The Crater and she told me she was impressed. Wanted to train me to be one of her warriors, and at first I refused. She preyed on my weaknesses, held something against me and forced me to agree to obey her, and I did. She told me the first thing I needed to learn as one of her warriors was how to deal with pain and how to keep my mouth shut. She wanted to teach me how not to talk if I was ever captured, and I think she wanted to basically scare me into submission.” 

Clarke swallowed hard before going any further. This was probably the hardest part for her to explain and would probably be the hardest part for everyone to hear. She opened her mouth to explain what had happened next, but no words came out. How could she possibly explain to her mother, to her friends, and to Lexa the torture that she had been through? So instead of telling them, she decided to show them. Clarke reached down and pulled her shirt off over her head to reveal her scarred body to everyone in the room. Every single one of the gasped, except for Lexa, but the pain in those green eyes was clear. Clarke turned to show her back and allowed everyone in the room to get a look of what happened to her. She could see everyone struggling to process what Clarke had been through, and when she couldn’t stand the looks she was getting anymore, she put her shirt back on. “The woman there, Severna, asked me about Skaikru while she tortured me. It left me with two options. I could give Azgeda information or I could fight through the pain and be quiet. I tried so hard not to tell them anything, but I broke,” Clarke said. She was surprised her voice was as steady as it was, and she kept going, “I told them a little about Skaikru and for a day I wasn’t tortured. The day after that, it started again. Only it was so much worse and I learned quickly not to talk.” Clarke could feel the tears running down her face at this point, but she did nothing to hide them. She could see most of the people in the room were crying themselves, all except for Titus, Indra, Lexa, and Bellamy. Clarke could see though that Bellamy and Lexa both had tears in their eyes, they just refused to let them fall.

“After three months a man named Dax came and released me. He told me he was going to train me. I was taken to my new quarters and given a little time to recover. Then the training began. It was rough, but I learned quickly. I met Prince Roan shortly after that and the three of us grew close. I trained with Dax for five months before I was put through my trials as a warrior. I passed and was accepted as Azgeda. A little while after that,” Clarke swallowed. “Dax he… He tried to help me escape. He talked me into trying to get a message to Skaikru to tell them I was alive.” Clarke stopped and took a few deep breaths. Her tears were still running down her cheeks, but less frequently. Her voice was beginning to waver so she took a moment to steady herself. “He was killed because of it, and Queen Nia killed a few more people as punishment to help keep me in line.” Clarke didn’t reveal that those people were Skaikru as she knew it would cause them to react harshly. “I spent the rest of my time in Azgeda following Queen Nia’s every order, and here we are,” Clarke finished.

Clarke looked to meet the eyes of everyone in the room and she barely held herself together. The looks she was getting from almost everyone was exactly what she was afraid of. They looked at her with pity, they looked at her like she was broken. She couldn’t bare to be looked at like that, so she looked into the eyes of the one person who wouldn’t look at her like that. Lexa’s eyes were glossy, clearly filled with unshed tears, but she didn’t look at Clarke with pity. There was pain in her eyes, but she also saw something like awe or adoration of her strength and Clarke drew all the strength she needed from it. The room had been silent for a while, but it was broken when Octavia spoke. “Clarke,” it was shaky and pained, but Clarke could make out the words that were being spoken, “What does she have on you?”

Clarke shook her head, “I can’t tell you that.”

“Clarke please,” it was her mother who spoke next. Her cheeks were wet with her tears and Clarke could see the light from the candles in the room glinting of the trails they had made. “Tell us and we will help you.”

Clarke still wasn’t pleased with her mother at this moment, but the pain on her face and in her voice got to Clarke anyway. “You can’t. No one can help me. I told you all that I can say.”

“Well it isn’t enough. Tell me what she is holding over you. I will not let my daughter be controlled by that monster,” Abby’s voice demanded, changing from sorrowful to angered.

“You will,” Clarke argued back. “There is nothing you can do for me.”

“Then I’ll go ask Queen Nia herself,” Abby raged. If her daughter wouldn’t give her the answers she was looking for, then she would find them on her own.

Kane reached out and put a hand on Abby’s shoulder, “Abby, that’s not a good idea.”

“The Chancellor is right,” Lexa spoke up. “Queen Nia will not tell you anything and it won’t do anyone any good, especially Clarke.”

“Well I don’t see you trying to help here,” Abby snarled as she stepped up into the Commander’s space.

Indra, Luna, and Titus all snarled themselves and took a step closer to their Commander. After that the room descended into chaos. Everyone was in such a state of shock and concern they started yelling at each other and trying to deal with their own emotions. “Guys!” Clarke yelled over the commotion, gaining everyone’s attention after her third try. “I didn’t tell you all of this so that you could start fighting each other. I told you this so you would know my story. I’m doing what I can to come up with a way to get myself out of this, but until then, there is nothing any of you can do. I need you all to just do your jobs, stay in line, and let me figure this out. Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

Octavia and Raven were the first to agree to the blonde’s request and everyone else slowly started to agree as well. It came down to Abby at the end, but her mother reluctantly agreed. After that the room was cleared out save for Clarke and Lexa. When the doors closed behind the last person to leave, Lexa quickly enveloped Clarke into her arms and allowed a few of her tears to finally drop. She held onto Clarke tightly, never wanting to let the blonde go again, but eventually they separated. “It’s okay Lexa. It’s okay,” the blonde cooed.

“Clarke I get that you didn’t want to tell the entire group what Nia has over you, but please, tell me,” Lexa begged.

Clarke pulled Lexa’s head down so she could kiss the taller girls forehead, “I can’t, Lexa.”

Lexa looked into Clarke eyes, and the desperation there almost made Clarke tell her, but she couldn’t. She held her tongue and wrapped her arms around the girl again, taking comfort in her arms. Lexa happily held on tightly, occasionally kissing the side of Clarke’s head. 

From the position Lexa was in, she could see out onto her balcony and she finally realized just how late it was. “Come to bed with me,” she whispered, not wanting to let the blonde out of her sight. 

Clarke was going to decline the offer, but when she looked into those emerald eyes, she couldn’t say no. She let Lexa lead her to her room. There were two guards at their posts outside of Lexa’s room, but Lexa dismissed them, and they didn’t seem to think too much of the two of them being together. “This is dangerous,” Clarke said when she entered the room.

“My guards won’t say anything. You will be safe here,” Lexa replied. 

“It’s more than that Lexa. You and me being together… I want to be with you more than anything, but it puts us both in danger. You already know it’s my job to get close to you. Queen Nia could use me against you or you against me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Clarke, I don’t want to spend any moment that I have without you beside me. It’s dangerous I know, but I can’t lose you again,” Lexa replied softly. She was a little surprised with herself. Lexa was never vulnerable, she never put herself out there, but she wasn't going to deny her feelings. If she could help it, she wasn’t going to lose Clarke like she lost Costia.

Clarke nodded and pressed her body into Lexa’s claiming her lips. Clarke knew that this was risky, but she wanted to be here with Lexa so badly and it was clear that Lexa wanted it too. They would need to be careful, but it was worth the risk. When they pulled apart, Lexa walked to her dresser and pulled out some more comfortable clothing. She gave a pair to Clarke and they both changed. When Lexa emerged from the bathroom, Clarke’s mouth went dry. Lexa was wearing a black nightgown with a slit that went all the way to her side showing of her exquisite legs. 

She watched as Lexa pulled back the furs of her bed and laid down. When she held her arms out for Clarke to join, the blonde didn’t hesitate, climbing into the bed quickly. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke as the two got as close as they possibly could. “Thank you,” Clarke whispered. Lexa raised an eyebrow and Clarke elaborated, “For not looking at me like I’m broken.”

Lexa wrapped her arms a little tighter around the blonde. “Thank you, for not letting Nia break you,” Lexa responded. Clarke rotated her body around so she could kiss Lexa properly, and the two lost themselves in each other. Lexa swiped her tongue across Clark’s bottom lip and she opened her mouth, allowing her access. The kiss grew heated quickly, but before it got too far, they separated. They laid back onto the bed and fell asleep, wrapped in each others arms.

/////

Clarke had slept much later into the morning than she usually did, but eventually, her nightmares caught up with her. She gasped for air as her body launched forward in the bed. Lexa awoke and reacted immediately reaching out to calm the distressed blonde. Clarke’s breathing was frantic and her eyes were unfocused. Lexa cupped her cheeks, “Clarke! Clarke, it’s okay. I’m here, you’re okay. You’re safe.” Lexa wrapped her arms around her and whispered to her quietly, rocking their bodies back and forth slowly.  
Clarke’s breathing slowly started to become more regular. “I’m sorry,” she croaked when she had herself back under control.

Lexa moved so she was looking into Clarke’s eyes, “Don’t be sorry for that.” Lexa kissed her forehead softly. Clarke’s body was trembling and she was sweating. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Clarke hesitated for a moment, but she decided to tell Lexa about what had haunted her that night, “I dreamed about Dax.” Clarke spoke barely above a whisper. She wasn’t really sure how to talk to Lexa about him and talking about him was still painful for her. She usually didn’t dream about him or the events that had happened the night of his death anymore. She had learned how to block out much of that night, but the retelling of her story last night must have brought on the memories.

Lexa could sense the hesitation and the pain that Clarke was feeling. She remembered Clarke telling her about someone who had helped her forgive Lexa for what happened on the mountain, and she had that same pain in her voice then that she did now. When she told her story to everyone, she hadn’t spoken much about him, but it was clear that him and Clarke were close. “You cared for him,” Lexa said and it wasn’t a question.

“I did, but not like that,” Clarke admitted. “We spent a lot of time together. He taught me everything. He wasn’t a fan of Queen Nia either, she threatened his family. We grew close. He helped me get over a lot of my problems and he helped me stay strong through everything Nia forced me to do. I never cared for him in that way though and he knew it. There was something holding me back. Maybe it was Finn, maybe it was you, maybe it was me, I don’t know,” Clarke trailed off.

“What happened to him?” Lexa prodded gently.

“He wanted to help me escape. Said that I had suffered enough and deserved to be free. He also said that Nia had a plan involving me. He didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t good. I agreed to let him help me and he went to Arkadia to give them a message that I was alive,” Clarke stopped and swallowed down the lump in her throat. Lexa reached out and took Clarke’s hand in her own, squeezing it lightly. Clarke cleared her throat and continued, “Nia somehow found out. She sent someone after him, and then they came to me. I knew something was wrong the minute I saw Nia and her guards. One of them handed me a bag, and his head was in it.” Clarke could feel her tears stinging her eyes, but she kept them from falling.

Lexa felt her heart break in her chest. She knew what that was like. Costia had been delivered to her in much the same way. It was one of her most painful memories and it haunted her dreams some nights as well.

Lexa knew there was more to this story, Clarke had mentioned that others had been killed to force her to follow Nia’s orders. She gave Clarke some time to gather herself, providing as much comfort as possible, before the blonde continued, “She told me I was lucky she still needed me, or she would have killed me for disobeying her then and there. Then she brought me two more bodies. They were both Skaikru. One of them I didn’t know, but the other… her name was Monroe. She was my friend, and Nia killed her to keep me in line. After that I followed her orders without question.”

Lexa felt her blood boil. Nia had put Clarke through so much. She was seconds away from storming out of her room and killing Nia in her bed, but she wouldn’t do that. It would tear the coalition apart and she couldn’t do that to her people. She had also promised Clarke that she wouldn’t do anything reckless like that, and she was not going to break that promise. “Is that what she has over you?” Lexa questioned. “She’s threatening the lives of Skaikru?” Lexa knew Clarke didn’t want to say what Nia had over her, but Lexa wanted so desperately to help. If Clarke would just tell her what was going on, she could do something, but the blonde didn’t seem to budge.

“It’s so much more than that Lexa. I know you want to help me, and I want to tell you, I do. I just can’t.”

“I know,” Lexa whispered. “I won’t push you, but I would like to help you in any way that I can.”

Clarke nodded, “Well like I told you earlier, my job is to get close to you and make you suffer, make you let your guard down. Maybe if we spend some more time together and if you act like I may have some form of influence over you, she’ll believe I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. If it works well enough, maybe she’ll make a move too early and you’ll be able to stop her.”

Lexa leaned forward from where she was sitting on the bed and placed a sweet kiss to Clarke’s lips, “I can do that.”

/////

After Clarke and Lexa talked, Clarke told Lexa that she usually trained when she couldn’t sleep, so the two of them changed and made their way down to the sparring pits. The Commander didn’t often train in public, but Lexa was not willing to leave Clarke’s side unless she had to.

Unfortunately that time came when Queen Nia arrived at the pits. Clarke had been training with a warrior from Trikru and Lexa had been watching, giving pointers to both where she saw fit. She was surprised by just how much skill Clarke had gained in these past two years, but when your only opportunities to learn are kill or be killed or involved massive amounts of torture, it made sense that she had learned quickly. 

Lexa stiffened when Nia approached her. It took everything she had not to run the woman through with her sword there and then. “I appreciate you taking the time to help teach one of my warriors Commander,” Nia drawled.

Lexa kept her eyes on the two fighting and her stoic Commander mask was firmly in place, “They don’t need much help from me. They are both very skilled.”

Nia hummed her agreement. She stayed in her spot beside the Commander until Clarke ended up victorious in the fight. “Impressive Clarke,” Nia called out.

Clarke had her back to Nia and Lexa and had been so focused on her fight, she didn’t realize Nia had been watching. She tensed up slightly before turning to face her queen, “Thank you my Queen.”

“Come, I have much to discuss with you,” Nia ordered.

Clarke didn’t argue and she left the pit quickly. She gave an apologetic glance over towards Lexa, who looked like she was barely holding herself back from snapping at Nia, before walking with her Queen towards Polis Tower. “You have done well Clarke. We’ve only been here for a few days, and already you are spending the night in the Commander’s bed.”

Clarke’s eyes widened slightly. The two of them went to bed late last night and had only come out a little while ago. How the hell did Nia already know about that? Nia only smirked, “I told you Clarke, I have my spies. It is impressive really. I thought it would take much longer for the Commander to let you in.”

Clarke pulled herself together quickly, “I told you I would not disappoint you. I will not.”

“Keep doing what you are doing. Soon I will be able to make my first move against the Commander and before long, she will make a mistake and I will control the coalition myself.” Without another word, Nia walked into Polis Tower, leaving a stunned Clarke behind. 

“Clarke?” 

Clarke was snapped out of her daze when Lexa came up from behind her. “She knows I stayed with you last night. She said she has spies that told her. She wants to control the coalition and whatever her plan is, she’s going to enact it soon,” Clarke spoke quickly, panic lacing her tone. 

“I need to speak with Titus. If there is a spy in my guard I want them found. I will see you at the meeting later today,” Lexa said. If they weren’t in public, she would have kissed Clarke goodbye, but since they were Lexa subtly squeezed Clarke’s hand and then made her way into the tower. 

Everything was getting extremely complicated now and Clarke needed to figure something out and fast.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so another long chapter today. It was supposed to be two but I merged them into one. I'm really excited about the next couple of chapters and I hope you guys stay tuned for it. A lot goes down in this chapter and I hope you enjoy! As always, I appreciate your kudos and comments especially. They let me know you guys are into the story and want me to keep going. Don't be afraid to tell me what you do/don't like and what you would/wouldn't like to see. I'm writing this for you guys as much as I am for me. Anyway, Enjoy!

Clarke made her way through the streets of Polis. She couldn’t help but admire everything about this place. It was so different from Saipan. The people here were actually happy. The markets were full of a lot of different people from all different clans trading, talking, and laughing. It was really a sight. There were even children running around laughing and playing games with each other. It made Clarke happy, even with everything that was going on in this moment.

She saw Octavia, Lincoln, and Raven sitting at a table talking and she made her way over to them. She hadn’t realized that she had been silent and a little hidden on her approach until she spoke, “Hey guys.” All three of them jumped in surprise having not noticed her approach, but once their racing hearts slowed down they all hopped to their feet and embraced Clarke tightly. She knew it was because of her story last night, but Clarke couldn’t find it in herself to complain about it. When the friends were all done hugging each other they sat back down. It was obvious that they three didn’t know exactly what to say to Clarke. Should they apologize? Should they bring up last night at all? It was a lot, but Clarke didn’t hang too much on it. “Sorry for scaring you,” she apologized, starting off the conversation. She needed to remember that she didn’t need to hide in the shadows or avoid people anymore. She couldn’t give away her abilities like that again. She brushed that thought off for the moment though as she looked to Raven, “Raven, I want to talk to you about something.”

“Of course, what’s up?”

“What happened to Mount Weather. What happened after I left? What’s its status now?” Clarke asked. She was taking a risk talking about the mountain out in the open, but Clarke needed answers. Plus, she was good at scanning her surroundings, and it was clear to her that no one was close enough to hear their conversations, and there was nowhere around them that would be a good place to hide for someone to listen in. If a spy was watching her, they either weren’t here now or they were, but they were too far away to hear what was being said. She still needed to be careful though.

Raven thought for a moment, “After you left we took a lot of the resources that we thought we could use. When the Commander asked us to join her coalition, the mountain was a big talking point. She didn’t want anyone going into the mountain, but we wanted some of the resources and we didn’t want to just leave it there unoccupied. We came up with an agreement that we were allowed to take the resources as long as we cleared them with her and we send monthly checks to make sure its stable, and that no one is planning to take up residence there or steal any of the resources for themselves.”

Clarke nodded. “Have you been there?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there a few times,” she held her hand out towards Lincoln and Octavia, “We all have actually.”

“What did you do while you were there?”

“Well your mom looked at the medical supplies. Bellamy, these two, and some others looked at the weapons and a few other supplies. Monty and myself took a look at more of the technology that they had there,” Raven explained.

Clarke had to be careful from here. She couldn’t give away her knowledge of the missile within the mountain and she couldn’t give away that it was what was being held over her by Nia and Emerson. “Was any of the technology in there… dangerous?”

“Some of it yeah. You know the missile they used to hit TonDC? They have another one,” Raven said.

“Yeah, it was huge,” Octavia added. She had been the one to find the missile in the silo in the mountain.

Clarke swallowed, “Can it be launched?”

“I looked into that. It’s operational, but it requires the launch codes which is a pretty long sequence of numbers. I wouldn’t worry about it. Without that code, the missile won’t launch, and luckily for us, no one has the launch codes.”

“Yeah, lucky for us,” Clarke mumbled to herself. “Is there any way you could make it unoperational?”

Raven furrowed her brows, “I might be able to. It would take a lot of time and a lot of hacking.”

“Could you do it from here?”

“These are a lot of questions Clarke. What’s going on?” Raven asked.

“I’ve just been afraid that the mountain still hold some dangers. It’s done enough damage to me in my life and I want to make sure that it doesn’t do anymore. Please, just humor me,” Clarke responded.

Raven understood Clarke’s fear. The mountain had taken away something from everyone. Maybe she should look into the missile just to make sure that it didn’t take anymore, so she thought hard about what Clarke was asking. “I would need help from Monty. I brought some stuff here that I could use, but we would probably also need someone in the mountain to talk with. Luckily for us, Sinclair and Gina should be making a trip up there… today probably. I can radio them and look into it,” Raven offered.

“That would be great,” Clarke replied. She looked at the entire group, “Please don’t tell anyone what you’re doing and don’t bring this up to anyone. It’ll just scare everyone. They don’t understand tek like we do and if they know there is still a missile out there it could cause panic.”

“We won’t Clarke,” Raven said and Octavia and Lincoln nodded. “Don’t worry about it though. No one has a way to launch it. I’m sure it’ll make everyone feel better if I disable it though, so I’ll get to work on it, but I don’t see a threat.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said gratefully. Raven nodded and left the table to get started on some research. “Either of you guys interested in a sparring match? I still have a little time before I have to get ready for the next Summit meeting.” The two sitting at the table looked hesitantly at each other. Octavia was getting better, and Lincoln was good, but he wasn’t sure how he stacked up against Clarke. “Come on, I’ll take on both of you at once,” Clarke offered.

That was a challenge that Octavia couldn’t refuse. She agreed without even consulting Lincoln, not that he would argue with her. If she wanted to do it, he would do it, but if Clarke was confident enough to lay down the challenge, he was pretty sure she had the ability to win. Either way, the three of them made their way to the sparring pits.

/////

Lincoln was right. Clarke had kicked both his and Octavia’s asses. They worked well as a team, but Clarke was just too good. They had managed to land a few good blows, but it wasn’t nearly enough to earn them a win. Clarke had beaten them both and left them with some very visible bruising, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the beating Octavia took the first time she fought Clarke.

They understood why Clarke was so skilled. After learning about everything that she had gone through, it wasn’t hard to be surprised by just how good she was. Neither of them held anything against her. The point of training was to simulate real life fights and Clarke was good to work with for that. She was harsh, she didn’t hold back, and she never slowed down, but how else are you supposed to get better?

After the match, Clarke had separated from the two of them to get ready for the next Summit meeting. When it was time she met Queen Nia and the others and they entered the throne room. Shortly after that, Lexa arrived and the meeting began. It was another civil meeting. The Shadow was brought up often, it was a common concern for everyone. Queen Nia had started to speak out more against Lexa and her abilities to lead and protect her people. The allies of Azgeda, Podakru and Blue Cliff, spoke out a little more as well. It was subtle. No one made any real threats or posed much of an issue, but the dissent they showed was there.

When the meeting ended Clarke stayed behind to speak with Lexa. Nia was happy to leave her behind and didn’t question it when Clarke didn’t follow her out of the throne room. Clarke hadn’t seen Lexa since they had separated earlier that morning. When the room was clear, other than Indra and Titus, Clarke spoke, “Did you find anything out about any spies?”

Lexa opened her mouth to answer, but Titus spoke before she could, “You come here and you accuse Heda’s staff of betrayal, of spying, when they have been serving her for years. There has never been any issue before you showed up here, and you are the one with a connection to Azgeda.”

Clarke could see a flame build in Lexa’s eyes at the accusation. “Titus,” she snapped.

Clarke took a step forward and spoke before Lexa could berate him further, her own anger taking over. “I have told you everything about what happened to me. I do not wish to serve Queen Nia and I am not here with the intent of harming the Commander. Accuse me all you want, but the more time you spend focusing on me, the more information the real spy is going to gain.” Clarke had been advancing on Titus throughout her little speech. She was shorter than him, but the glint in her eye and the calm control on her face made him cower slightly.

“Em Pleni!” Lexa ordered, and Clarke took a step back from the bald man, but her glare remained fully locked on his. “Titus, Indra, leave us.” The two of them bowed and left the room without further argument.

“I don’t like him,” Clarke said when Titus was finally gone.

“He has trained me for most of my life,” Lexa said. “He just wants to protect me.”

Clarke so badly wanted to say that Lexa didn’t need protection from her, but it wasn’t true. Clarke had absolutely no intention of hurting Lexa, but Nia did, and as long as Nia was in control, Clarke couldn’t promise that. She didn’t know what to say so she just nodded, accepting Lexa’s explanation of his actions. “I hate Summit meetings,” Clarke complained, effectively changing the subject.

Lexa smiled slightly, “They are not fun.” She sighed and the smile dropped from her face, “To answer your question, no I didn't find any spy. Most of my staff, guards and servants, were questioned, but they have all been cleared. There are still more that must be questioned, but I do not know if we will find them.”

Clarke sighed, “Well thank you for trying, and I’m sorry for accusing your staff. I know that they wouldn’t be serving you unless you trusted them. I would just really like to find out who Nia has watching me.”

“I would like to as well Clarke. I will continue to look into it.”

Clarke nodded. “So what else is going on? I can tell you are upset about more than just a spy.”

Lexa sighed. “I must figure out how these assassins have made it into Polis. Nia is growing more confident and seems to be gaining some support from the other clans by claiming that I cannot protect my people.” Clarke was not happy to be talking about this subject. She had too big of a role and there was nothing she could really say or do about it, at least about The Shadow. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that Clarke. I have no information on the assassin who attacked Nia, but you were the one who took care of his body. Can you tell me anything about him?”

Clarke grimaced. “I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about that. The assassin was one of Nia’s. She wanted to use me to show the clans how skilled I was and that I serve and protect her. She also figured that you would never think to look into the assassin being one of her own. She figured that you wouldn’t be able to figure out where the assassin came from and she could use it against you.”

Lexa growled at the revelation. Of course Nia would do something like that, and there was nothing she could do about it. She has no proof that the assassin was Azgeda and she couldn’t use Clarke to provide evidence, so there was nothing that could be done. “What about The Shadow?” Lexa asked, frustration clearly coming through her tone.

Clarke swallowed, “What about The Shadow?”

“The Shadow has quickly become the most dangerous assassin in all of the coalition. Azgeda is known for having the most ruthless assassins, and they are the clan to most commonly use them. Do you anything about The Shadow?”

“I think what makes The Shadow so good is the fact that no one knows anything about them,” Clarke answered. It wasn’t a lie. No one knew much of anything about The Shadow except for The Shadow herself. 

“I suppose you’re right,” Lexa said. Clarke took a huge sigh of relief at that. She didn’t want to have to lie or stay on this subject any longer. “The next celebration of The Summit will be beginning shortly. I have some business I must tend to first, but I will see you down there.” 

Lexa stepped towards Clarke and placed a series of short pecks to Clarke’s lips before Clarke grabbed a hold of her and pulled her in for a long, deep kiss. When Clarke pulled away, she smirked at the dark look in Lexa’s eyes. “I will see you down there Commander,” Clarke husked in her ear, and she backed out of the room, leaving a slightly stunned Lexa behind.

/////

The streets of Polis were decorated just like they had been for the first celebration. There were tables stacked high with food and drink, tables for people sit, eat, talk, and enjoy themselves, and there were sections set up for people to dance or show off their skill in some of the combat competitions that were being held.

Just like the first celebration, Clarke found herself seated at a table with Roan. The Commander had yet to make an appearance, but Clarke was happy to be with Roan for a while. “So how did the Commander take learning about the past two years?”

“How do you know I told her?” Clarke replied.

Roan smirked, “I know you did Clarke. You seem lighter, Skaikru keeps glaring at me and the other members of Azgeda more than they did before, and you have been spending more time with her.”

Clarke bit down on her bottom lip and nodded her head, “Those are some good observations.” Roan chuckled as Clarke continued, “She um, took it as well as could be expected I guess. She’s angry, but she’s hiding it well. I had her promise me she wouldn’t react harshly, and I think that might be the only thing holding her back.”

“I don’t blame her for that,” Roan replied. “My mother’s ways are harsh.”

Clarke laughed, “Understatement of the century.” 

Roan smiled and the two of them fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments. Roan broke it when he asked, “Has my mother made any more requests of you?”

Clarke knew he was talking about The Shadow. “No, she hasn’t given me any more assignments and hopefully she won’t. The Shadow is already big enough talk in those meetings, I don’t need to become any more of a concern or threat or whatever.”

The two fell into another silence, but this time it was broken by someone clearing their throat behind her. “Clarke,” Bellamy said as he approached from behind her.

“Bellamy,” Clarke replied. He made his way over to her, glaring at Roan the entire way. “This is Prince Roan kom Azgeda. Roan, this is Bellamy.” 

Bellamy’s eyes softened slightly. He recognized that Roan was one of the two people that Clarke had actually befriended in Azgeda from the story that Clarke had told them. “Clarke can I speak to you...alone?”

Clarke glanced at Roan who only raised an eyebrow. “Sure,” she said as she stood up from the table. She let Bellamy guide her to a quieter part of the celebration. She was still in view of some of the people that were celebrating, but they had enough privacy to talk, “What’s up?”

“That’s it?” Bellamy asked. “We have a chance to talk alone for the first time in two years and all you have to say is what’s up?”

Clarke shrugged, “What exactly is it that you want me to say?”

“How about you talk to me about how you can sit here at this celebration and laugh and joke with the Prince of Azgeda like nothing is going on. Or how about you tell me about what the hell that bitch has over you that is making you work for her so I can help you,” Bellamy replied.

“I already told you that Roan is my friend, and I also told you that I can’t tell you anything about Nia,” Clarke shot back. She was getting tired of this. There was nothing she could talk about, why couldn’t anyone just drop it and let her figure this out herself.

Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest, “Clarke just tell me. I won’t tell anyone else. All I want is to help you.”

“I’m not your responsibility Bellamy,” Clarke replied, her voice raising some.

“Clarke, you and I, we’ve done these things together. We fought against the grounders at the dropship, we took control to save our friends, we saved our friends from that mountain, we pulled that lever together. It has never been just you. Let me help.”

“It has been just me. I was the one who pulled the lever on the dropship, leaving some of our friends behind. I am the one who made the deal with the Commander that blew up in our faces. I am the one who came up with the idea to irradiate level five. I am the one who survived two years of hell-”

“Because you left,” Bellamy yelled, cutting her off. “You left us Clarke. You left your people behind.” Now it seemed they were getting to the real reason Bellamy was so upset with her.

“So, what?” Clarke fired back, “I deserved what I got? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I’m saying that you should have stayed Clarke. You aren’t the only one who has been suffering for the decisions that they have made. We’ve survived all of this shit together. You should have stayed so we could get through what happened on that mountain together. You and me,” Bellamy came back.

“But it wasn’t you and me Bell,” Clarke all but yelled. “You didn’t choose to irradiate level five, I did. You didn’t choose to lock some of our friends outside of the dropship, I did. You didn’t choose to kill Finn to create a truce that didn’t even work, I did. We’ve done a lot together Bell, I won’t deny that, but you don’t know all that I’ve been through.”

“You should have stayed. We could have helped each other get through our shit.” Bellamy seemed fixated on the same argument.

“I couldn’t Bell. I couldn’t stay. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there with you, but I couldn’t deal with all that I’d done. I had to go, and yeah I suffered a lot out there, but I just couldn’t stay,” Clarke breathed.

“Do you even care what happened after you left? Raven’s leg has gotten ten times worse. I could barely sleep, could barely live with myself. Lincoln had a kill order placed on his head. Your mother was in full on panic, wasting resources to try and find you, and Jasper… Jasper’s a drunk. Tried to commit suicide a couple of times, but we were able to stop him each time. Monty’s trying to put on a brave face, but I can see the pain he’s in. We’re all suffering Clarke, but we stayed, and we got through it as best we could together. You should have been there with us.”

This was all too much for Clarke. How dare he throw all of this back in her face. How dare he blame her for leaving. How could he not understand? Why did he think that she deserved to be blamed for all that happened, and how could he, for one second, think that she didn’t care? Clarke could feel the tears burning in her eyes, but she wasn’t going to let them fall, not for Bellamy. “You used to be the person that I could rely on. The person who would trust me, and would have my back when I needed it. I was hoping that when I saw you again, we could find a way to get back to that place. I can see I was wrong,” Clarke rasped.

Bellamy shook his head, “You’ve changed Clarke.”

Clarke scoffed, “Yeah, I have. Sadly you haven’t. You’re still the same self-centered, arrogant, asshole that landed on earth.” With that, Clarke stormed away.

Someone had been watching the interaction from a distance and when Clarke stormed off, they followed after her. It wasn’t hard to find Clarke, fuming and pacing in one of the many allies in Polis. “That was quite the argument,” Luna said as she walked into the ally.

“Now is not a good time, Luna,” Clarke replied more harshly than she intended. She wasn’t mad at Luna, but she just couldn’t get a hold on her temper.

“I don’t know what he said to you, but it clearly has you shaken. I just want to help you calm down,” Luna said, slowly taking a step closer toward the raging blonde.

“Why do you even care?”

“Lexa and I have been friends for a long time. She is busy tending to something, so she can’t be here to help you right now. She really cares about you though, and I care about her, so I’m here to help,” Luna replied calmly.

Clarke took a deep breath and stopped her pacing. “I’m sorry for snapping at you,” Clarke apologized.

“It’s alright,” Luna accepted. “Now do you want to talk?”

“I’m tired of talking,” Clarke grumbled. “I need to hit something.”

“Ah well there is a sparring competition going on right now. I’m sure that many of the clans finest warriors would be happy to face Wanheda,” Luna offered.

Clarke nodded and started to walk with Luna to exit the ally, “With the mood I’m in right now, they shouldn’t be.”

/////

Lexa was seated in her throne and a smaller, but still muscular man was standing before her. “Heda,” he bowed.

“Flax, thank you for coming.” 

“Of course Heda. How may I serve you?” Flax was the greatest scout in the coalition and his loyalty to Lexa was unmatched. Lexa had a good use for his talents at the moment.

“I am going to tell you something that cannot be repeated to anyone,” Lexa said.

“Then it will not be,” he replied.

She nodded. “Good. You know of Wanheda yes?”

“I do.”

“Azgeda is threatening her. I do not know how, and due to the Summit, I cannot go to Azgeda myself and figure it out. I want you to go. Find out anything strange going on there. Talk to the people, spy on her higher ranked warriors and advisors, find out what is going on in Azgeda and what is being held against Wanheda,” Lexa ordered.

“Right away,” he said. “I will return when I can with some information. You can trust me Heda,” he said and then he left her throne room. He found the fastest horse he could and left on his journey.

/////

Clarke had been right. Her anger from her conversation with Bellamy helped lead her to victory after victory. She had learned a long time ago how to use her anger and channel it in a way that wouldn’t cause her to make mistakes, and she didn’t. She beat the absolute shit out of everyone she faced, but she withdrew from the competition before she could win. 

Lexa had finally finished whatever business she needed to and she was was standing with Luna in front of the sparring area, so Clarke made her way over to her. “Is everything okay?” Lexa asked when she arrived. Clarke had calmed down considerably after letting out some of her anger. “Luna told me about you having an argument with someone?”

Clarke nodded. Her anger had dissipated now that she had worked it off, but now her anger turned to a type of sadness. Bellamy had been her co-leader. Probably the person she trusted more than anyone. Now he was accusing her of not caring for anyone and blaming her for leaving. Lexa noticed Clarke’s demeanor change and saw the corners of her mouth drop. She squeezed Clarke’s hand to get her attention and walked towards Polis Tower. Clarke got the message and followed behind her, all the way up to Lexa’s room. “What happened?”

“It was nothing. Bellamy and I had an argument, but its not worth being upset over.”

Lexa knew that Clarke was blocking out her emotions over this. She gave Clarke a stern look, which had Clarke opening up in seconds. She told Lexa everything he said and it actually helped Clarke to feel a lot better. Lexa was pissed, that much Clarke knew, but all Clarke had to do was lean in and kiss her softly, and Lexa melted. 

They stayed in each others arms for a while. Clarke felt safe when she was with Lexa. She trusted the brunette more than she ever imagined she would be able to. Something about Lexa just made her feel calm, protected. After a rather long kiss, Lexa rested her forehead on Clarkes, “Are you sure your alright?” She whispered, slightly winded from their previous kiss.

“I’m fine now,” Clarke smiled, and it was the truth. She was in Lexa’s arms, she was safe, and she wasn’t going to let Bellamy get to her. Yes, she decided to leave, and no, she wasn’t the person she once was, but Clarke was a survivor. More than that, she was a fighter, and no one, not Bellamy and not Queen Nia, was going to take her down without one hell of a fight.

/////

A few days passed since Clarke’s argument with Bellamy and those days had been full of a lot of the same. Clarke and Lexa spent as much time together as possible. Clarke stayed in Lexa’s room every night, and she had been getting better, sleeping much later into the night, but her nightmares always caught up with her. Lexa was there every time to hold her, bring her out of her dream induced haze, and calm her. Clarke appreciated Lexa’s gentleness and genuine care more than she knew how to express. As long as one of them wasn’t needed somewhere else, they were generally always with each other.

Clarke had spent some time training with Octavia. She had been getting better, but still nowhere near Clarke’s level. Clarke enjoyed being around the younger girl again. Their friendship when they were at the dropship was a strong one, it broke after the missile hitting TonDC, but it looked like they were on their way back to that same level of friendship.

Raven and Monty had gotten together and were able to contact Sinclair and Gina. They were currently stationed in the mountain and were relaying as much information as they could back to the two geniuses. They didn’t have anything on disabling the missile yet, but they were working hard, and they were not planning on giving up any time soon.

When Clarke wasn’t with Octavia or Lexa, she was with Roan. The two of them always getting along well. Clarke had made sure to avoid Bellamy and her mother. Neither of them were on her good side. They were too self-centered, too arrogant and Clarke couldn’t stand being around them.

Lexa was a little hostile with Bellamy and Abby and anyone Azgeda. Clarke tried to get her to calm down, at least around Azgeda, and she had some sway, but it was proving to be rather difficult. Lexa was hell-bent on keeping Clarke safe, and while usually Clarke would have found that frustrating, with Lexa it was endearing. Clarke had tried to get Lexa to at least accept Roan, and to a degree she had, but there was still some hostility between the two. 

The Summit meetings had been a little off. It was subtle, but Nia was speaking out more against the Commander and more and more of the other clans seemed like they were slowly being swayed to her side. Thankfully, Nia hadn’t asked for The Shadow to land another hit, but that could change at any moment. Over the last few days, Queen Nia had been looking a little more excited than normal. Clarke had a bad feeling about it, but she kept her head down. Until Raven could give her some information on the missile, there wasn’t much she could do. Nia was likely going to make a move soon though, so Clarke and Lexa had been doing their best to try and figure out what that move would be and how they could handle it.

This morning was not very different from the past few. Clarke found herself in Lexa’s arms after another nightmare. Her back was pressed up into Lexa’s front and Lexa was whispering calming words in her ear. When Clarke finally settled down, she leaned back and kissed the brunette behind her, “Thank you.”

Lexa pressed her lips to the top of Clarke’s head, “There is nothing to thank me for.”

“I have everything to thank you for. I have not felt calm or safe one time in the past two years, but I do when I’m with you,” Clarke replied.

“I made a decision on the mountain that separated us. I hurt you and I lost you. I will not do that again, and I will always be here for you,” Lexa replied with sincerity. Clarke smiled wider than she had in a really long time. How amazing it was that the strong, fierce, intimidating Commander, was so caring and gentle an incredible when she was with Clarke.

After staying in each others arms for a little longer, Clarke and Lexa got out of bed and changed for the day. “The Sankru Chief wants to talk with me about his choice for his next ambassador, so I won’t be able to train with you this morning,” Lexa said as she finished attaching her last piece of armor. 

“Do you know who he is going to pick?” Clarke asked from across the room where she was sitting, tightening up her boots.

“I have an idea. I’m not thrilled with who I think it will be, but I have no say in the internal affairs of any of the clans. I can try to convince him to pick someone else, but if he doesn’t listen to me, then I will have to accept his choice,” Lexa said. The old Sankru ambassador, Julius, may have been a drunk and a bit of a fool, but he supported the coalition and Lexa’s goal of peace. Mikah, the man Lexa expected would become the next ambassador, was a bit of a hot head. He wasn’t for or against the coalition, but he always thought fighting was a better option for getting what you want instead of finding a peaceful way. She really needed to be careful when she talked with the Sankru Chief because him, along with the rest of Sankru were questioning her abilities. The Shadow had not been caught and there was no headway on their identity. Lexa needed to try and convince him that him and his people were safe and that Mikah was not a wise a choice.

Clarke stood up when her boots were tied and she walked over to Lexa. “Well good luck,” she said as she brought her lips within inches of the brunettes. “Not that I think you need it,” she whispered before crashing their lips together. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist, pulling her in closer and she kissed her back with fervor. Clarke bit down softly on Lexa’s bottom lip, earning herself a quiet whimper from Lexa. Clarke smiled at the noise, but didn’t pull away until she could feel her lungs burning. When the two of them separated, they were breathing heavily, restoring the oxygen in their lungs, and Clark backed away from Lexa slowly. “I’ll see you later,” she husked, still slightly out of breath, and she left the room. 

Lexa’s normal two guards, Rosco and Argus, were stationed outside the door. They stood like statues as she passed them and she scanned the both of them as she walked by. Neither of them looked familiar, and she knew that both of them had been serving Lexa for a long time, but someone had been spying on her, and they were the only two that Clarke knew of, who had seen her in Lexa’s room. Clarke made her way into the elevator and rode down to the bottom floor, still thinking about Lexa’s guards. They both did seem trustworthy and Lexa and Titus had questioned them and cleared them. Lexa assured Clarke that they were trustworthy, so Clarke was going to as well. She would keep an eye out for someone watching her, but Clarke had settled on the likelihood of never finding Nia’s spy.

When the elevator reached the bottom floor, Clarke left the tower and made her way to the training grounds. On her way, she noticed Octavia and Raven sitting a table in front of one of Polis’s many food carts, so she decided to take a detour from training and go sit with them. “You two are up early,” she said as she sat down at the table with them.

Raven and Octavia both seemed to jump out of their skin, having not noticed her approach. “Geez, do you ever make a sound when you walk?” Raven asked.

Clarke shrugged. “No. So why are you guys out here so early?”

Raven seemed to be fully awake, but Octavia looked far from it. “She kept me up all night last night,” Octavia complained. “Monty was asleep, but she needed someone to talk to about the mountain, so she talked to me all night, not that I understood a word of what she said.”

“I work better when I talk out loud,” Raven defended. “It’s not my fault you aren’t a genius and can’t keep up with me.”

Octavia scowled at her and mumbled something under her breath. Clarke chuckled at her friends antics, but she kept the conversation going, “How is the stuff in the mountain going?”

“I don’t have much yet. Gina and Sinclair have been working to get me as much information as possible, but a lot of the data was encrypted by the Mountain Men. Monty is working to get the information we need, and I’m using all that we have to figure out what I can about the missile, but so far it isn’t much,” Rave explained. She had been working hard, but she just didn’t have enough information yet to really do anything.

Clarke nodded in response and started to think about the missile and Emerson. Her only option right now was to get Raven to figure out the missile, otherwise she would have to wait to get back to Saipan where she could try and take out Emerson. She was lost in her thoughts, but was snapped out it when Octavia spoke, “So where is the Commander?”

“What?” Clarke asked, blinking her eyes rapidly a few times.

“Come on,” Raven said. “You think we didn’t notice the two of you spending most of your time together or the heart eyes you two give each other.”

“I don’t have heart eyes,” Clarke defended.

“You definitely do. I’m surprised more people haven’t noticed,” Raven said back. Clarke tried to deny it and she looked to Octavia for help, but unfortunately for her, it seemed that Octavia was on Raven’s side. “Come on Clarke, we’re your friends. What’s going on between you two?”

“I don’t really know what to call us,” Clarke admitted after giving in to her friends.

“Tell us everything,” Octavia chirped.

Clarke thought for a moment of where she should start, and she decided it was best to start from the beginning. “She kissed me before we attacked the mountain. I told her I wasn’t ready to be with her then. Maybe it was Finn, maybe it was me, I don’t know. We marched on the mountain side by side, and I thought we had it, but then she left. That’s why it hurt so much. She didn’t just abandon our people, she abandoned me.”

Raven and Octavia looked at Clarke with wide eyes, but they also looked a little sad for her. “I’m sorry Clarke,” Octavia said.

Clarke met her eyes and nodded. “When I left, I was so angry. Angry at myself, angry at what I had to do, angry at her, and I carried it with me for months. One night, Dak, I told you guys about him, he woke me from a nightmare. He got me to talk about it and she came up. I was clearly still pissed at her. Dak, he taught me a lot about anger. He taught me how to channel it when I fought, how to use it to my advantage and keep from making a mistake. That night he also taught me that it wasn’t always good to carry around. He said that it didn’t do anyone any good, it only brought me pain. He talked to me about how what she did may have been unfair to Skaikru, but it was what was best for her people, and I slowly started to understand and accept that. I was still angry, but I tried to let go, and eventually I did. I forgave her, mostly, and I tried to move on from that. Once that anger diminished, I just started to miss her, to miss all of you guys, but the things Nia had me do, I was breaking inside. I started to close myself off from my emotions. To block them out, ignore them, and it worked. Then I came here. I saw her, I spoke to her, and I couldn’t close myself off anymore.” Clarke’s voice was becoming a little shaky. Raven reached across the table and took one of Clarke’s hands in her own and Octavia moved closer to Clarke and put a hand on her back. 

Clarke took a few deep breaths to center herself before she continued. “It felt so good to be with her again, to be with all of you again, and it felt so good to have someone look at me like they actually cared about me. She was the first person in two years to ask me if I was okay. I wasn’t, but it felt good to have someone ask. The day I killed that assassin that went after Nia, I had a little bit of a break down. Being here, seeing everyone, having everyone see who I have become, it was too much. Lexa, she came into my room and she apologized to me like all of this was her fault. I couldn’t help myself and I kissed her. A little after that she found out about my scars and I told my story. We’ve been with each other as often as possible since then.” Clarke shook her head, “I know it may not be the safest or wisest decision, but I can’t help it. I feel safe when I’m around her, and I haven’t felt that way in a really long time.”

“Hey, when you know, you know,” Raven added with a full blown smile.

“That sounds a lot like how I feel about Lincoln. I mean the two of us haven’t been through nearly as much crap as the two of you, but he makes me feel safe too. He’s my home, and it sounds like you have that with Lexa,” Octavia said.

Clarke couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face. She was grateful that her friends understood and accepted this and it felt good having someone to talk to. She wasn’t really sure of the extent of her feelings towards Lexa, but whatever it was it was deep and it was real. Having her friends have her back was really big for her.

Then, Raven started to rub her hands together and a playful smirk appeared on her face, “Now to the important details… How’s the sex?”

Clarke rolled her eyes at the question and Octavia slapped Raven on the back of the head, but after she delivered the slap, she turned to Clarke expectantly. “Not that it is any of your business, but we haven’t done anything yet. It’s still dangerous for the both of us to be together and we have just spent a lot of time doing other things together.”

Raven opened her mouth to say something, probably snarky, back, but she froze when she noticed who was approaching them. Octavia and Clarke were smiling at each other, and waiting for the likely obnoxious words that were going to come out of their friends mouth, but their smiles quickly dropped when they noticed Raven’s demeanor change.

Bellamy approached the table. “Clarke can I talk to you?” His voice was quiet, hesitant.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you Bell,” Octavia stood up for her friend. Her and Raven had both learned of the argument the two had, and they were not happy with Bellamy.

Clarke reached out and put a hand on Octavia’s arm, “It’s okay.” She stood from the table and followed Bellamy to a more private place so they could talk. “Talk,” Clarke ordered as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Clarke, I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Bellamy said. He waited for her to reply, but he got nothing, so he continued, “Look I shouldn’t have said what I said.” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “When I’m lost, I lash out. I try to find stable ground for myself and I always end up hurting people in the process. I didn’t mean what I said to you I just… I’m lost without you Clarke. I don’t know who I am.”

“You, are Bellamy Blake,” Clarke started. “You aren’t defined by me or anyone else. You are a lot of good things Bellamy, and you don’t need me to be a good guy.”

Bellamy swallowed, “I’m going to work on being that good guy. Clarke I just want to help you. You’re like a sister to me. You and Octavia and even Raven, I just want to be there for you and I want to keep you safe.”

“And I appreciate that Bellamy, but like you said, I’m not the person I once was. I can take care of myself. I need to take care of myself, at least for a little while. I promise you, when I figure everything out, I will come to you for help. I have trusted you for a long time, Bell. Right now, I need you trust me. Let me figure this out, and when I do, I will come to you.”

Bellamy nodded, “And I’ll be there for you. I really am sorry Clarke.”

“I know,” Clarke replied. She pulled Bellamy forward and wrapped him in a tight hug. She wasn’t totally confident that he wouldn’t lash out again, but she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. They had been through so much together, he deserved it, and she missed her co-leader. 

Clarke and Bellamy returned to the table that Octavia and Raven were still sitting at. They looked at Clarke questioningly, “You guys okay?”

“Yeah we’re good,” Clarke replied.

“Good,” Octavia grinned. “Clarke I was wondering if I could just watch you spar, really get to look at you in action. I think Bellamy would be a good opponent for you.”

Raven’s arm shot up in the air and she had a wide smile. “I second that,” she chimed in. She was almost bouncing she was so excited.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Guys, we just fixed our problems.”

“I think it’ll be a good way to air any last feelings out,” Octavia said.

“You just want to watch me kick his ass.”

“Hell yeah we do,” Octavia and Raven said in unison.

“Hey,” Bellamy said at the same time.

“Oh come on Bell, you really think you stand a chance against me?” 

“I wouldn’t count myself out,” Bellamy replied.

“Do you even use a weapon other than a gun?” Clarke asked.

“I’ve been working with Lincoln, but I think hand to hand would be better,” Bellamy said.

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “You really want to do this?” Bellamy looked to Octavia and Raven before nodding his head. “Alright, you’re on, but just like I told Octavia before we spared for the first time, I warned you.”

Octavia and Raven shot up from their seats and made a beeline for the pits. They were very excited to watch Bellamy get his ass handed to him. He needed to be knocked down a peg or two. Bellamy and Clarke followed behind them and made it to the pits shortly after Octavia and Raven did. They entered the pit and started circling each other. Raven and Octavia were standing close to the edge, watching intently, “Alright Octavia, you better pay attention. You’re facing me next.” Octavia swallowed thickly, but nodded. She probably deserved that after making Bellamy fight with Clarke. She knew he would accept the challenge if she laid it down. His pride was too strong for him not too.

Clarke and Bellamy were circling each other, looking for any weaknesses in the others defense. Clarke saw quite a few ways that she could easily take down Bellamy right away, but she decided to hold off and see what he could do. It didn’t take long for him to charge towards her, sending his fist flying towards her face. Clarke slipped to the right, avoiding the blow easily. Bellamy threw another fist at her, and this time Clarke slipped left, avoiding the hit again. 

Clarke took a few steps away from him and Bellamy grumbled to himself as he prepared to go at her again. This time he threw a fist and followed it up with a hook from his other hand. Clarke dodged the first and ducked under the second. He was too easy to read, and far too confident in his own strength. 

Bellamy was starting to get frustrated. He knew it wasn’t going to be an easy fight, but he had expected to at least hit her and not keep swinging at air. He charged her for the third time, bringing on a flurry of blows, trying to hit something, but Clarke kept dodging each one. On Bellamy’s final punch, Clarke ducked under his arm, moved behind his body, and hit him with an open handed shove. Bellamy stumbled forward, managing just barely to stay on his feet. He growled in frustration and brought up his leg, managing to graze Clarke’s side. It didn’t affect her much though, and she pushed forward punching him square in the jaw, then two rapid hits to his midsection and then one to his right cheek. Bellamy’s head jerked to the left and he took two steps back, gasping for air from the hits to his midsection. Bellamy was in a bad position and he knew it. He made a last ditch effort, sending his most powerful strike towards Clarke’s head. Clarke saw it coming easily and she grabbed his arm, rotated her body, and threw him over shoulder.

Bellamy landed with a loud thud and he was inhaling deeply trying to regain his breath. Clarke gave him a second to recover, and then held out her hand to help him to his feet.

“You telegraph your punches. You were too easy to read,” Clarke commented.

Bellamy brushed the dirt of his pants. “I just think you’re too damn fast,” he mumbled. 

Clarke smiled at him and patted his back. Then she turned to see the grinning faces of her two friends. “That was awesome,” Raven cheered. “You think you could do that to Wick? I swear he is getting on my nerves.”

“Aw, does Raven miss the sex with the big, blonde engineer?” Octavia goaded.

“No I don’t. If anything, he misses the sex with the incredibly talented, extremely hot mechanic,” Raven shot back.

Octavia was laughing at her friends response, but the smile on her face quickly died when Clarke spoke, “Alright Octavia. I hope you were watching. It’s your turn.”

Raven cheered, “Yeah, kick her ass too Clarke.”

Octavia scowled at her before making her way into the pit. She passed Bellamy on the way, “Good luck,” he offered as he passed by and he took a seat beside Raven, who was very excited to make fun of him for his loss.

The fight between Octavia and Clarke was much the same as the one between Clarke and Bellamy. Octavia actually managed to hit Clarke a couple of times, but it didn’t take long for the blonde to have Octavia on the ground. When the fight was over Clarke said goodbye to her friends so she could prepare herself for the next Summit meeting as well as let them get cleaned up for the meeting.

/////

Clarke met with Roan, Cyrus and Queen Nia outside of Nia’s room. They rode the elevator up to the floor with Lexa’s throne room and stepped out. As usual, they were the last clan to enter the room, but before they stepped inside Nia stopped. “I’m going to be making a big announcement today. I don’t want either of you to be surprised by it.” That was all Nia said and she made her way to enter the throne room. 

Clarke and Roan followed behind her as usual but Clarke turned to Roan, “What the hell does that mean?”

Roan shrugged his shoulders, “I guess we’ll find out soon.”

Not long after that, Lexa entered with Indra and Titus and the meeting began. It went along as usual, a few debates between some of the clans over trade routes or trade deals, and there was the occasional, borderline dangerous, comment from Nia or one of her allied clans about Lexa or the coalition. Nothing unusual had happened. At least until the end. 

Lexa was about to dismiss all of the leaders for the day when Nia spoke up, “Commander I’d like to make an announcement.”

Lexa turned in her throne to look the Queen directly in the eye. For a moment her eyes flicked to Clarke, who slightly shrugged her shoulders, before they were on the Queen again. Lexa’s eyes were narrow, clearly not thrilled with the request, and Nia had a smirk on her face. This was not good. Lexa nodded her head once allowing Nia to speak. “My son, Prince Roan, is to be bonded, and I would like for it to happen during the Summit so you and the other clan leaders may be here to witness.”

Clarke could feel her heart rate pick up and a knot formed in her stomach. She chanced a glance at Roan. On the outside he looked calm and unfazed, but Clarke had learned how to read him, and it was clear that this announcement came as a shock to him. 

“And who is he to be bonded to?” Lexa asked, bringing Clarke’s attention back to the issue at hand.

“Wanheda,” Nia revealed with a smirk. Clarke felt her heart sink in her chest. Of course Nia would come up with some insane plot like this to make the Commander suffer and make Azgeda increase in strength.

Clarke looked up from her position behind Nia onto the face of Lexa. She had her calm and stoic mask on as always, but those green eyes told a different story. There was a flurry of emotion hidden in them and they were changing so quickly, Clarke couldn’t get a solid read.

The other clan leaders seemed just as shocked by the revelation as she herself was and she could hear them whispering to each other. Then the Delphi Clan Chief, Joanna, stood from her seat. “Wanheda was not born Azgeda. She can not be bonded to the heir to the throne,” she argued. The Broadleaf Chief stood up and made their agreement with Joanna known.

Nia turned to them, “Wanheda and Roan will take the trials.”

This time Luna stood up anger written across her face, “You cannot make that decision for them.” After that the clans descended into chaos all arguing with each other over the possibility of this bonding.

Lexa let the chaos drag on for a moment before she was able to fully gather herself. “Em Pleni!” she roared, silencing the room.

Lexa waited for the room to quiet down completely and then she turned to the Prince first, “Prince Roan?”

Roan stood tall and met the Commander’s eyes. He knew what he needed to do, and although it pained him to say it, his mother controlled him and he would do what she asked of him. “I will take the trials.”

Lexa slowly looked over and met Clarke’s eye. “Clarke, what do you have to say about this?” Clarke met Lexa’s gaze and could read her expression, Lexa was pleading with her not to go through with it, to refuse to take the trials and be bonded. It’s not like she wanted to go through with it, but she didn’t have a choice. 

Clarke took a deep breath to make sure her voice wouldn’t waver and she met Lexa’s eyes with a look asking for forgiveness for what she was about to say. “It would be my honor to be accepted into Azgeda’s royal family. I will take the trials.”

The room was dead silent as everyone watched as Lexa inclined her head and sat back in her throne, looking away from Clarke. “Commander if I may?” Kane asked from where he was seated. Lexa gave a curt nod and he continued, “What are these trials?”

Lexa swallowed and slowly turned to meet his eye, “The heir to a throne of any clan must be bonded to someone of high station and they must originate from the clan they are being bonded into. With the title of Wanheda, Clarke meets and even exceeds the Prince’s station, but she was not born Azgeda. For a pair to be bonded without meeting both of these requirements they must face the trials. It is a fight to the death. The pair will fight against two warriors from each clan. A clan may choose not to send in their warriors if they do not oppose the bonding. The pair must work together in the fight, and if they both survive, then it proves that the spirits have accepted the bonding and accept the leadership of the one who was not born into it.”

Kane and the other Skaikru, minus Lincoln, all stared up at the Commander in shock. Lexa didn’t say anything more or even acknowledge the looks she was getting. Instead she looked to Titus. “All clans who oppose?” he asked. Every clan opposed except for Podakru, Ouskejonkru, and Skaikru. Trikru didn’t oppose because Lexa as Commander had to remain impartial and the Trikru ambassador opposed the bonding.

“It is settled then,” Titus said. “Tomorrow the trials will be held. If Wanheda and the Prince are successful, then the bonding will be held at a later decided date, sometime before the end of the Summit.” With that the room was dismissed and Titus left to ensure that the preparations of the trials began.


	10. Chapter 10

Nia ushered Clarke and Roan out of the room quickly before anyone could stop them. She led them down to the floor where the Azgeda delegation stayed. “You both did well,” Nia started. “You have a lot of preparing to do for tomorrow.” That was all she said before she left them alone and disappeared into her room. 

Clarke and Roan walked further down the hall until they came to Clarke’s room and they both entered. Roan walked over to the table in her room and leaned up against it while Clarke chose to pace the floor. There was no backing out of the trials now and neither one of them were going to try anything to disobey Nia. This was going to happen. “I’m sorry you won’t get to be with Nadia,” Clarke started. Nadia was the woman that Roan had fallen in love with. She was also the mother of his child Kai. Nia has them both prisoner and Roan has been forced to do whatever his mother asks of him to keep them safe.

Roan crossed his arms over his chest, “It’s alright. She was never a high enough station anyway, Azgeda never would have accepted our bonding. I’m sorry you won’t get to be with the Commander.”

Clarke sighed, “We knew what we were doing was risky.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Roan said. Clarke’s shoulders deflated and she nodded her agreement. “I don’t think she likes me very much,” he added.

Clarke snorted, “She doesn’t. I’ve been trying to change her mind on that, but she is not a fan of you or anyone Azgeda. I expect it’ll be even worse now.”

“I’m sorry you’ve been caught in the middle of all of this. You do not deserve to be a pawn in my mother's games of power and control,” Roan apologized.

“At least you’re not the worst person to be bonded to,” Clarke commented, trying to lighten the mood.

Roan smirked, “Yes, well I do think you’re getting the better part of the deal.” Clarke rolled her eyes and moved towards him to punch him on the shoulder. He just laughed it off and stood up from leaning on the table, “I supposed we should get to training. Two on eighteen is not going to be an easy fight. We need to make sure we can help each other survive this.”

Just as Clarke was about to agree, a knock on the door sounded. “Enter,” Clarke called. 

The door opened and one of Lexa’s guards entered the room, “Wanheda, Heda has requested your presence.”

“Of course,” Clarke said.

She turned to Roan who had a knowing look on his face. “How long do you think it will take before I can expect you?” he asked.

“Just get down to training. I’ll meet you there as soon as I can,” Clarke said and she followed the guard out of her room. She got into the elevator and was expecting to meet Lexa in the throne room, but instead was taken to Lexa’s chambers. The guard motioned for her to enter and she did.

Clarke opened the door to Lexa’s room where Lexa clearly had been waiting. Clarke barely had time to shut the door before Lexa’s hands and lips were on her, pressing her back into the door.

Lexa had one hand on Clarke’s cheek, the other on her waist and she was kissing Clare with a passion. Clarke moaned as she felt Lexa on her. The kiss was much more aggressive than any they had previously shared. Lexa kept pushing her body closer to the blonde, pinning her up against the wall, and she brought her hands down to Clarke’s thighs. Clarke got the message and she let Lexa lift her up off the ground. Clarke wrapped her legs around Lexa’s body as the kiss continued to heat up. The kiss lasted for a while, they’re tongues clashing and both moaning into the others mouths. Clarke had been in a daze the moment her lips collided with Lexa’s, but she knew she needed to snap out of it. “Lexa,” Clarke tried to pull away, but the brunette was on her before she could say another word.

“Lex,” Clarke tried again, breathing heavily. Lexa moved away from Clarke’s lips, but instead of stopping she moved down, trailing kisses along Clarke’s neck. “Not that I don’t like where this is going,” Clarke breathed, “But don’t we need to talk?”

Lexa brought her mouth back to Clarke’s, delivering one more kiss before releasing her. “You need to tell me what Nia has on you.”

Clarke closed her eyes and sighed, “Lex, you know I can’t. Even if I could you wouldn’t be able to stop this from happening.”

“Clarke I already lost you once because of her. I will not lose you again,” Lexa spat. 

Clarke unwrapped her legs from around Lexa and dropped to the floor. She reached up and cupped Lexa’s cheeks, “You won’t lose me in the trials. Roan and I will win.”

Lexa pushed her face closer into Clarke’s touch. Her eyes began to water slightly and her voice wavered as she spoke, “Clarke please. Nia has taken everything from me. She can’t take you too.”

Clarke saw the broken, pained look in Lexa’s eyes and realized that Lexa was talking about more than just her. She was talking from experience, a very painful experience. “Costia,” she whispered.

Lexa flinched at the name of her old love and she nodded. “Queen Nia took her from me. I was so close to breaking when I opened the box that contained her head, but I held it together. I formed the coalition and I stopped letting myself feel anything. Then you came along and all of those feelings that I have been trying to hide came rushing back. Leaving you at the mountain was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and those two years you were missing…. I could barely breath, and now you’re back. You’re here and you’re with me and I finally started breathing again. Clarke... I can’t lose you again,” the last part came out as a whisper.

Clarke had tears in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. She had lost Dax in the same way that Lexa had lost Costia, only Lexa’s feelings had been much deeper than hers. She couldn’t imagine losing the person that she loved in the way that Nia took Costia from Lexa. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to Lexa’s lips before parting, their foreheads resting on one another, “You will never lose me. Lexa there is nothing, nothing, that can stop this from happening, but I can win. I know you haven’t seen a lot of me in a full on fight, but you have to have heard about what I do down in those sparring pits.” Lexa nodded and Clarke continued, “I can win this Lexa. Roan and I, we have our own reasons to live, our own people to fight for, and I will never stop fighting for us. It is not over between you and me. I will fight and I will live. I will live for you.”

Lexa kissed Clarke hungrily, again pushing her back into the wall behind her. “I will find a way to get you out of this,” Lexa promised. It wasn’t about the trials. There was nothing she could do to stop that. It was about the bonding, about Nia. Lexa was going to get Clarke back, no matter what it took.

“We’ll figure it out together,” Clarke said. Their lips collided again and the kiss grew heated quickly. Before it got too far, the two managed to separate. “I have to go and train with Roan. I know the odds for tomorrow aren’t great but I just need you to trust me. We are not finished. I am going to survive tomorrow and you and I are going to find a way to live.” That was the goal right? To live. To do more than survive. Clarke had told Lexa a while ago that living was the goal, and it still was. Life is about more than just surviving and Clarke was not going to let Nia prevent Clarke from achieving her goal. Clarke placed one more quick kiss to Lexa before she exited the room to meet Roan and start training.

/////

Clarke had been with Roan for hours. The two had pushed themselves hard preparing for this fight. Roan had put Clarke on her back more times than she would have liked, but even so, she felt ready for this. She was fighting for so much more than just winning a fight. She had people to protect and she had a life still to live. No one was going to take that away from her. 

Roan and Clarke had worked a lot on communication. Practicing for a fight with multiple opponents was not easy, but they both knew communication was important. They needed to work together if they wanted to survive. The friendship that the two had was definitely going to aid them when the time came. 

They had spent some time working on their strategy and coming up with the best solutions they could for different scenarios. The problem with this fight is that they were unsure of exactly who their opponents would be. It was not likely that their opponents would be the very best warriors from each clan, but that didn’t mean their opponents wouldn’t be skilled. To add onto that, some of the warriors they would be facing would specialize in different weapons and different fighting styles, so they had to be prepared for anything and everything. The odds really did not look good for the two of them, but they had come up with a sound plan and they were both highly skilled. It would be difficult, and neither one of them would come out unscathed, but it would be possible.

Clarke and Roan were cleaning themselves up as best they could and were drinking heavily from their waterskins at the edge of the sparring pits. They had just finished up their training for the day. Then one of the tower guards came to them, “Wanheda, your presence has been requested in the throne room.”

Clarke nodded to the guard and then turned to Roan. “I will see you tomorrow Clarke. Rest well and remember, you and I are in this together,” Roan reiterated what he had once said to her back in Azgeda. 

Clarke smiled at her friend and then made her way to the throne room. She stepped off the elevator and she saw Lexa standing outside of the throne room speaking to one of her guards. Lexa quickly noticed Clarke’s approach and her brows furrowed, “Clarke, I thought you were training.”

“I was,” Clarke said. “Roan and I finished and I was told I was needed here. You didn’t ask for me?”

“I didn’t,” Lexa said. “I was summoned here by Skaikru. Your people need to learn that they cannot summon the Commander to her own throne room.”

Clarke took a deep breath. Skaikru summoning the both of them, this was not going to be good. “They’re not my people anymore Lexa.” Before Lexa could argue, Clarke reached out to open the door, “Let’s just get this over with.”

The two of them entered the throne room to see Abby, Kane, Bellamy, Lincoln, Octavia, Raven, Monty, and Harper all standing there. They looked like they had been waiting for the two of them to show up for a little while. Clarke and Lexa stood beside each other as they faced the group. Clarke was not in the mood for this, so when no one spoke, she decided to take the first step, “What is it you all want? If you haven’t already heard I’ve got a big fight tomorrow and I’m going to need all my energy.”

“We wanted to talk to you about that Clarke. We don’t think that you should be taking these trials. You shouldn’t have to fight for a marriage you don’t even want,” Abby said.

Clarke looked out into the faces before her. Most of them looked a little guilty for being there and ambushing her like this, but they were there nonetheless. “We or you?” Clarke asked. Her and her mother were still not on the best of terms and the fact that Abby continued to try and tell her what to do frustrated her to no end.

“Clarke look, we’re your friends and we care about you,” Octavia started, preventing mother and daughter from exploding at each other. “We don’t want you to have to go into a fight like this that you don’t want to be a part of.”

“Of course I don’t want to be a part of this, but that doesn’t matter,” Clarke snapped. She reeled herself in a moment later. She knew everyone in the room was just trying to protect her, but there was nothing they could do. She had asked them to trust her and for a while most of them had. Now was not the time for that to change. She inhaled deeply through her nose before continuing, “This fight is going to happen. None of you can stop it. If I’m going to win, then I need you all by my side. I need you to be there for me and to tell me I can do it. I need you to stand with me and not against me.”

“We’re all with you Clarke,” Raven piped up. 

The room was quick to agree, all except for Abby. “Clarke you need to stop this warrior act. You are stepping into an impossible fight.”

Clarke could feel her anger spike. Her mother was really going to do this now? She was really going to say right before the fight that Clarke had no chance of winning? Clarke couldn’t stop herself from exploding, “It has been an impossible fight ever since you sent us to the ground. It was an impossible fight when it was one hundred kids against an army of grounder warriors. It was an impossible fight against a mountain full of people who were hunting and torturing us. It has been an impossible fight from day one, but I am still here standing. I am not that little, naive girl that you sent down here in the dropship. I am not ‘acting’ like a warrior, I am a goddamn warrior. I have been through hell and back, and I am still on my feet. I am still pushing forward. From day one I have been protecting my people and to this day I still am. I am not a child, I stopped being one a long time ago. You need to stop telling me what to do because you have no say. I will not back out of the trial. I will not die during the trial. You’ve seen me spar but you haven’t seen what I can really do. I’ve killed more people than any of you can possibly comprehend and tomorrow I will add more to that list. Tomorrow, Roan and I will stand victorious. You can either be there to see it or get the hell out of here because I don’t need you. I am not that easy to get rid of, and I am not dying tomorrow.” Clarke’s face was bright red, but her eyes were burning with a new determination. 

Lexa, along with most of those in the room were staring at Clarke in awe. Abby was staring at her daughter like she had just said the most outrageous thing in the world. Clarke could tell her mother wasn’t done arguing and she was so close to blowing up completely and turning this fight into a physical one instead of a war of words, but Kane stepped in between the two and started to talk to Abby and Lexa was at Clarke’s side pulling her away from the group. “You are incredible,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke immediately calmed down at hearing Lexa’s voice. She looked into those gorgeous green eyes and was able to reign herself in completely. She didn’t see the fear over the trial that had been in Lexa’s eyes earlier that day, and that meant everything to Clarke. Lexa believed in her and that was all that she needed. “Thank you,” Clarke said, and Lexa seemed to understand exactly why Clarke was saying it. The two of them turned back to the group of Skaikru, “Now if that’s all, we’ll be leaving.”

“Wait Clarke!” Octavia called, stopping Clarke and Lexa from leaving the room. Octavia ran to Clarke and wrapped the girl in a tight hug. Clarke hesitated momentarily, caught off guard, but then reciprocated happily and then everyone, other than Kane and Abby joined in. Clarke hugged and thanked each of her friends separately and each of them wished her luck and told her that they would be there for her.

When Clarke got to Raven there were tears running down her eyes. “You better not die tomorrow,” she whispered into Clarke’s ear.

“It’ll take a lot more than a stupid trial to take me out Reyes,” Clarke jested. “Oh and Raven, any progress on the mountain?”

Raven shook her head, “Not much, but Sinclair, Gina, Monty, and I are still working. Don’t worry we’ll figure it out.”

“I have faith in you,” Clarke said.

When Clarke finished up with Raven, Kane approached her. He reached out and squeezed her shoulder, “Good luck tomorrow.” Clarke nodded, accepting his thanks. “And about your mother, she’s just worried about you.”

“Yeah? Well she has a shit way of showing it,” Clarke complained.

Kane gave her a half smile, “I won’t disagree with you there.”

With that, Skaikru left the room. Abby didn’t say anything to Clarke as she left, the two of them just made an awkward sort of eye contact as they passed. Once they were gone Clarke walked over to Lexa who held out her hand. Clarke happily interlocked their fingers and leaned in for a quick kiss. Then, the two of them were off to Lexa’s room to get some rest before the trial tomorrow.

/////

Clarke awoke early the next morning from another nightmare, but her body didn’t react as it usually did. Instead of her entire body jerking awake, only her eyes shot open. She could feel herself wrapped up in something and after a few moments of calming her breathing, she realized she was wrapped in Lexa’s arms. Lexa was running her hand up and down the length of Clarke’s arm soothingly and she placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

Clarke could see the early morning beginnings of daylight streaming in from the balcony. Her nightmares still haunted her, but she had been sleeping longer than she used to, which was an improvement. “How long do I have to stay here with you?”

“We have a little bit of time,” Lexa answered. She moved so she was sitting up a little straighter, leaning against the headboard of her bed. She pulled Clarke up some and wrapped her arms fully around the blondes waist. 

“I’m sorry about all of this. About you having to watch this and the bonding,” Clarke said.

Lexa tightened her grip around Clarke protectively, “We will figure something out after you win, and you don’t ever have to apologize to me for something that Nia is forcing you to do. I will make her pay for all the suffering she has caused you.”

“And you and the rest of Azgeda,” Clarke added. “She’s hurt a lot people, not just me.”

“You are all I care about right now,” Lexa whispered into her ear and then she proceeded to leave a trail of kisses from Clarke’s ear down to her neck.

Clarke tilted her head slightly to allow Lexa better access. When Lexa bit down on her pulse point, Clarke couldn’t stop the moan that escaped her or shiver that surged through her body. “You know I’m going to win right?” She asked her breathing growing heavier. Lexa stopped what she was doing as Clarke continued, “She has forced me to do a lot of things. She has turned me into someone that even I fail to recognize. She will continue to do so, and I will continue to take it until I can find a way out. No matter what though, she is not going to see me fall. I will get through this.”

Lexa sat up straight and rotated Clarke’s body around so they were face to face. She wanted to say so much to the girl that she had allowed to enter heart, the girl she cared for more than she ever imagined possible. “I know you will. That’s why I-” she stopped herself mid sentence. She knew what she wanted to say, what she had wanted to say for a long time now, but she just couldn’t get the words out. “That’s why you’re you,” she said instead.

Clarke smiled and leaned in to press her lips against Lexa. It was soft and gentle, and it expressed the emotions, the words, that neither of them were able to get out in that moment. They stayed locked in that moment for a while, drawing comfort from the others presence, the others touch, but eventually they had to return to reality. When they did, they were both breathing heavily and they rolled off the bed and started to get dressed for the day. They didn’t say another word to each other as they dressed, as they didn’t feel there was anything left to say.

Clarke was wearing her Azgeda furs and she had armed herself with a large amount of hidden blades. She was always armed with multiple hidden blades anyways because assassins always were, but Lexa had provided her with a few more that she strategically placed on her person. When she was dressed, she sat down on the floor in between Lexa’s legs and allowed her to braid her hair for her. 

When Lexa was done with Clarke’s hair she moved to her closet and pulled out a small jar. She walked over to Clarke and held it out to her. It was full of the white war paint of Azgeda. Clarke was used to warpaint from when she would turn into The Shadow, but her paint was always black, and she figured it would be best not to wear The Shadow’s design. “You do it,” Clarke requested.

Lexa didn’t deny her and she motioned to the chair she had been sitting in when she braided Clarke’s hair, “Sit.” Clarke did as she was told and when she was seated, Lexa began to apply the paint to her face. 

When Lexa was done she found a mirror and held it up so Clarke could see. There was a thin mask that stretched from the edge of her hairline right above her ear over her eyes and to the other side of her face. There were two lines underneath each of her eyes that ran down and stopped about level with her lips, and it looked eerily similar to Lexa’s own which Clarke loved. There was another line that reached up from the middle of each of her eyes to the middle of her forehead. Clarke was enthralled by the design. “Do you like it?” It was almost shy the way Lexa asked, and Clarke found it adorable.

“It’s incredible,” she replied. “You’re incredible.” She placed a loving kiss to Lexa’s plump lips, but when she pulled away, her situation seemed to finally sink in.   
Everything seemed to hit her at once. This was it, it was almost time. Clarke had spent the past day training hard and trying to convince everyone else that she could win, she hadn’t fully convinced herself. “I’m really doing this,” Clarke said.

Lexa watched as panic and a little fear started to settle over Clarke’s face. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t worried, but she did have faith in Clarke. From everything she had seen and heard about Clarke’s fighting, she was good, and Roan she already knew was good. Clarke had been so confident this entire time, she couldn’t let her falter now. “Hey,” Lexa cooed. “You can do this. I will be there entire time so will your friends. We have faith in you. I know you can do this Clarke. You and me, we’re not done yet.”

Clarke took a deep breath and nodded, “No we’re not. Let’s go.” Lexa took Clarke’s hand in her own and interlocked their fingers. They left her room together and entered the elevator. Lexa’s guards had been dismissed from the night before so no one saw them leaving Lexa’s room together. The elevator descended the tower and right as the door opened, Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand and brought it up to her lips before releasing it. They walked out of the tower and towards the arena. Clarke could already hear the crowd that had gathered to watch, but she couldn’t see them. She came to stop at the place where she was supposed to wait until her and Roan were called out. “I’ll see you when it’s over,” Clarke said.

“Yes you will,” Lexa agreed and then she made her way towards the arena to prepare for the beginning on the trials.

Clarke walked over to where she was supposed to wait and she found Roan. He was stretching his muscles and swing his sword around in a few practice strikes. When he saw her approaching he stopped, “You ready?”

Clarke nodded her head. She was nervous, but she also knew she could do this. She wasn’t going to let her story end like this, not when there was so much for her to fight for, to live for. “We start together, we end together. Let’s do this.” She started to loosen up her muscles beside Roan and then, the sounds of the crowd outside died down. Then one voice started speaking to the crowd. Clarke and Roan both turned to face the entrance to the arena. It was time.

/////

Lexa left Clarke behind to make her way into the arena. On the outside she looked calm and unbothered by the events soon to unfold, her back straight and her stoic mask firmly in place, but on the inside she was a mess. Her stomach was twisting in knots that made her feel nauseous and she could feel her heart pounding so hard in her chest it was reverberating throughout her body. She trusted Clarke, and she knew that Clarke was a very skilled warrior. Nia had made sure that was the case, but it didn’t ease Lexa’s nerves at all. Clarke may be good, but the odds were definitely not in Clarke’s favor. Her and Roan were skilled, but eighteen versus two was not ideal. One mistake, one wrong motion, one missed attack, could lead to a bad injury. A bad injury slows you down, and in a fight with multiple opponents, speed and the ability to move freely is imperative. Clarke had seemed confident, especially last night when she convinced Skaikru, but this morning she had begun to panic. A little panic, a little fear is warranted in a fight such as this, but if it isn’t controlled it can lead to mistakes. Lexa had done all she could to calm Clarke and return her confidence; hopefully she had done enough.

Lexa knew she needed to calm down. There was no point in worrying about what she couldn’t control, and unfortunately she had no control. This fight came down to Clarke and Roan and there was no one who could intervene, no one who could help either of them if they needed it. She had to look forward, had to look ahead to the moment that Clarke and Roan came out victorious. The problem with that though, was that when that time did come, there would surely be injuries. There was no way they were going to come out of this fight unharmed. Plus, when they both came out, a bonding ceremony between the two would be scheduled. Lexa had just gotten Clarke back, she had just gotten to start spending time and being with the girl that she had cared for for over two years, and now it was possible she was going to lose her to Azgeda. She was going to do what she could to figure out a way to stop the bonding, to get Clarke to talk about why she was serving Nia, but so far Clarke seemed unwilling to share anything. That thought was a little concerning. Clarke was stubborn and if she didn’t want to talk she wouldn’t, but Lexa couldn’t just let this ceremony happen and lose her. She would have to find a way to get Clarke to talk to her or she would have to solve the problem and fix it herself. 

Lexa took a steadying breath as she entered the arena. The arena was booming with voices, everyone there ready and excited to watch the trials. Lexa took in the crowd. It was one of the largest she had ever seen for an event like this. It looked like almost all of Polis was there to see it, and because it was the Summit, Polis was bustling with more people than usual. She just hoped that the crowd wouldn’t be too much of a distraction for Clarke during the fight. The area the warriors were supposed to fight in was a a large circular ring made of stone. There were multiple guards, each standing at attention with a spear in hand around the ring. The crowd was gathered behind the guards, around the circle, all standing nearly on top of each other to fit everyone. They surrounded almost the entirety of the circle, the only part the crowd wasn’t, was where a giant wooden platform was set up. That was where she was supposed to watch the trials. There were fourteen seats on the platform, one for her and one for each of the clan leaders. Guards stood at the platform at attention as well, keeping everyone but the leaders away. 

Most of the clan leaders already appeared to be there along with Titus and Indra who were waiting for her by her throne. Lexa swallowed and prepared to ascend the steps of the platform. She knew once she stepped up there, it wouldn’t be long before the trials began. When she was set, she made her way up the steps and started to walk towards Titus to start the trials, but was cut off when Nia stepped in front of her. “I hope you are prepared to witness a successful trial Commander.”

Lexa steeled herself to keep from granting Nia the satisfaction of earning a reaction from her. She knew Nia was just trying to anger her. “We shall see,” she replied coolly.

“Wanheda will be bonded to my son Commander. You will see,” Nia said. 

Lexa felt a fire set her veins alight, but she just managed to hold back her anger. She needed to show Nia that she was still in charge, that Nia couldn’t just goad her like this, but to do that she had to bring up Clarke. If she spoke too much, Nia would know that Clarke had told her more than she probably should have, and Lexa wasn’t willing to endanger her safety. She needed to be careful with how she proceeded. “I don’t know why she is following you,” she sneered. “Maybe you are holding something against her, maybe you have scared her into submission, or maybe it is something more. Whatever it is I will figure it out and then I will kill you.”

Nia smiled wickedly. “Don’t tell me that the girl set to be bonded with my son has brought out your weakness again Commander. I thought you would have learned from the last time you let someone bring it out,” Nia drawled.

Lexa felt the last of her restraint snap. How dare she talk about Costia. How dare she rub the two women she had ever cared about in her face. Lexa was about to pounce, but before she could she felt an arm grip around her bicep. “Commander,” Luna started. She had been watching the interaction as soon as Nia stepped in the Commander’s space and she watched as Lexa started to lose control. She acted before anything could happen and was now the only thing keeping Lexa from making a huge mistake. “The trials are ready to begin. Titus is waiting for you.” Lexa glared at Nia who was still smiling at her, but she didn’t act out against Nia like she almost had. She let Luna guide her away.

Nia grinned to herself, pleased with the reaction she was able to pull from the Commander and sat down in her throne. Her plan was working well. Clarke was clearly gaining Lexa’s favor and soon Nia’s plan would be in full effect. Sure, she could have Clarke just assassinate the Commander in her sleep, but then Nia wouldn’t get what she wanted. What she wanted were two very important things. First, she wanted the Commander to suffer. The Commander had taken away her husband in a war between Azgeda and Trikru long ago. Her husband, King Ambrose, had been considering the coalition that Lexa was trying to build, but ultimately his hatred for Trikru and his wife’s constant words against joining, had kept him from doing it. A war had broken out between the two clans and Lexa had ended up killing him, and Nia was hungry for her revenge. She also wanted to control the coalition herself. Nia believed that she was the most powerful in all of the coalition and it should be her who was in charge. She didn’t have the support of many of the clans however, so if she had the Commander assassinated, the coalition would likely break and she would not be in control. Plus the risk of a failed assassination or Clarke’s refusal of commiting the act could end in her demise, and she was not willing to risk it. Instead, she was using Clarke to show Azgeda strength. With Wanheda as the heir to the throne, and Nia as the ruler, many of the clans would fear Azgeda and she would be able to scare them into submission. She had already been in the process of gaining the support of some of clans, but Wanheda as the heir to the throne would definitely force more into following her. Once she had enough support, all she would have to do is wait for Clarke to get the Commander to let her guard down and force her to make a mistake. That’s when Nia would be able to call for a vote of no confidence or a challenge. When Lexa was dead, Nia would step up and take control of the coalition in all of the chaos, taking her rightful place as Commander. The people would be forced to follow her and any who opposed her would be killed.

Luna led Lexa away from Nia and pulled her aside, “Do not let her get to you, she is not worth it. We will find a way to save Clarke and you will get your revenge.”

Lexa nodded as she felt herself cool down slightly, her anger returning back into her nervousness. She thanked Luna for keeping her from snapping and she made her way over to Titus. 

Titus was standing at the edge of the platform and when she approached him she nodded once, signaling that it was time. She took her place standing beside him and Titus spoke to the crowd to quiet them. “Bring out the warriors,” Titus called first. The crowd watched in quiet anticipation as eighteen warriors, two form each of the challenging clans, entered the ring. Each of them were dressed in their clans colors and armor, and many of them wielded different weapons. They all took their place in the ring forming a giant circle around the outside. When they were set, Titus spoke again, “Bring out Wanheda and the Prince.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm putting this chapter up a little early but I'm just really excited about it. I know It's not the longest chapter, but I think it fits well here. Damn, writing fight scenes is really hard, but I think I wrote a pretty damn good one and I hope you guys agree. Please comment and let me know what you think, I really love hearing what you guys have to say. There is still a lot I hope to do with this story so I hope you guys enjoy it and stick with it!

Clarke could feel her heart beating in her throat she was so nervous. She knew her and Roan were skilled. She knew both of them were likely better than each of the warriors that they were going to fight, but the numbers game was not going to be in their advantage, and that could be their downfall. She heard as someone called out the warriors they were going to face and listened as some of the crowd cheered for them. After that she heard the same voice call out for her and Roan. “Here we go,” he whispered to her as they made their way out of the shadows of the alcove they were in and into the arena.

Clarke and Roan walked out together and they took their places in the center of the circle facing the stage. The voices of the crowd around them were deafening, but Clarke tried to block them out as her eyes locked onto green up on the stage. Roan and Clarke both bowed their heads towards the Commander on the stage. 

Titus was the one to speak again “The trials today are test if the spirits accept the bonding of Hainofa Roan kom Azgeda and Wanheda. Nine of the thirteen clans object to this bonding and their warriors stand here now to to test the strength that Wanheda and the Hainofa share. Either the will both stand or they will both fall.”

Clarke knew Titus was speaking, and she knew she should probably be listening, but she wasn’t. At first when he started speaking, she had been lost in a trance, staring up into the green eyes that she was going to try so desperately to fight for. As Titus kept going on, she snapped herself out of her trance and began to scan the area. The first thing that she noticed was that in the very front row, Skaikru was standing together, all there to watch her. They were all looking up at Titus listening to her speech, all except for Octavia and Raven. Their eyes were on Clarke and when they met, the two of them gave Clarke an encouraging nod. She needed that sign of faith from her friends and she was glad that they were there to support her. Her mother was a different story, but she would worry about that later.

She moved on from her friends to scan her opponents. They were all surrounding her and Roan, and they all looked fierce clad in the colors of their people with their own warpaint smeared across their faces. She took note of the various weapons that each warrior held and noticed that there were three of them on her side with a bow and a quiver of arrows at their backs. She would need to take them down quickly to avoid the threat they posed. She continued to scan, seeing mostly swords and axes, one or two spears. Some of the warriors looked ready to fight and they definitely looked like they would pose a challenge, like those from Trikru, but some of them looked uncomfortable or nervous to be there. It made sense. The clans weren’t going to risk using their best warriors for a simple bonding trial. Especially the clans that were more peaceful with less warriors. Those clans only had a few skilled warriors and they wouldn’t waste them here. Clarke honestly felt bad for them, but it wasn’t going to stop her from killing them. That didn’t mean she was going to underestimate them either. Everyone was a threat and she needed to keep her head on a swivel and be ready for anything.

Clarke made sure to stand tall in the center of the arena. All eyes were on her, and she needed to look calm and confident, and she also needed to intimidate her opponents. That wasn’t difficult. The titles she and Roan held alone sent fear into the hearts of most men. Their appearances helped as well. The both of them wore their Azgeda armor and the white war paint on their faces made them look terrifying. Clarke looked like she could actually command death and she made sure her posture and facial expressions added to it.

Titus carried on with his speech a little longer before it was time. Clarke and Roan stood back to back, eyes scanning their opponents when Lexa stood forward. Her eyes met Clarke’s and Clarke gave her a reassuring nod, giving Lexa the strength to start the trial. “You may begin,” she ordered before taking her seat in her throne, Titus and Indra standing on either side of her. Immediately Clarke pulled out three assassin blades from hidden locations on her arm and launched them in rapid succession. Each of them hit their mark, and the three opponents with bows and arrows dropped dead.

At the same time that Clarke attacked, Roan threw his own dagger, and it dug into the neck of another opponent. That was four dead in one second. The crowd was in a stunned silence, not expecting those four deaths to happen so quickly, but once the shock wore out they erupted into their own set of cheers. It reminded Clarke a little bit of being in The Crater and she had to inhale deeply to keep those memories from surfacing. She needed to stay focused if she wanted to come out of this still breathing.

Eighteen was now down to fourteen and the remaining warriors remained in place around their two opponents, stunned by the display and unsure of who exactly was going to attack first. Clarke and Roan both reached to their backs and pulled out their swords, readying their stances for the onslaught they knew was coming. “Show off,” Roan grumbled from behind her.

“Are you really going to complain right now?” Clarke asked with a smirk on her face. She knew that Roan was only joking, he was still the superior warrior when compared to her and taking down three of their opponents was not something that he would be upset about. She wasn’t happy about killing, but she had grown used to it so it didn’t affect her much anymore. 

Before Roan could respond, the first warrior attacked, charging him. The man came at him with a sword and Roan parried the attack easily and made a counter strike. He was able to cut into the man’s bicep, but it wasn’t a fatal wound.

Once the first man attacked, everything happened quickly. All the remaining warriors charged at Clarke and Roan. Clarke and Roan stayed close to each other to defend the others back as best as possible and provide aid if the other needed it, but there was a little space between the two. Clarke ducked under the blade of a woman who swung wildly at her and she rolled to avoid the boot from a second attacker. She was in a fight where she had to play defense, only attacking when she had a clear opportunity. Roan was fighting much of the same way and the two were avoiding as many oncoming attacks as they could.

Clarke rolled over to avoid another attack and she popped up inside the guard of another opponent. She forced her sword through his chest, and pulled back quickly to avoid a different blade aimed at her head. She avoided the blow, but someone behind her managed to cut into her arm with a dagger. She grunted in pain, feeling the warmth of her own blood cascade down her arm, but she couldn’t let it faze her. She sidestepped another attack and took out another opponent in the process.

Meanwhile, Roan dove out of the way of an axe aimed at his head and he rolled behind his opponent, stabbing him through the back. Roan had a couple of his own injuries at this point, and he had taken down three more of their opponents.

Clarke and Roan were ducking and dodging every blow they could, but they were both taking a bit of a beating themselves. They would try to take out one opponent, but another would be at their back in an instant delivering their own blow whether it a fist, an elbow, or a blade. The two of them fought hard bringing the count of their opponents down to seven. At this point their muscles were screaming at them and they could feel the cuts and bruises they had obtained across their bodies stinging and throbbing, but they kept pushing forward. They moved closer together so they were back to back and they worked together to take out their remaining opponents. They communicated well telling the other to duck and stepping forward to deliver a blow or alternating sides to keep their opponents on their toes and themselves safe. They brought the enemy count down to four. 

Or so they thought. 

One of their opponents had gone down, but wasn’t yet dead. He reached to his belt and launched his dagger towards them. Neither of them saw it, but Clarke certainly felt it as it dug into the outside of her thigh. She cried out in pain and it caused enough of a distraction that another warrior was able to deliver a cut across her abdomen. It wasn’t a fatal slice, her armor took the brunt of it, but it was still painful and it sent Clarke off balanced.

Roan had just ended one of his opponents when he heard Clarke’s cry of pain and he turned to aid her. She stumbled back slightly and Roan finished off the man that had cut her. The man who had thrown the dagger returned to his feet and now there were three opponents left.

/////

Lexa’s stomach churned like there was a snake twisting and writhing within her. She ordered the trial to begin and watched as Clarke launched three blades into her enemies. They were skilled throws, each blade killing its target instantly. She watched as Clarke reached for her sword and she even watched as Clarke and Roan spoke to each other. He said something that made her smirk and Lexa didn’t know how to feel about it. She had just watched Clarke kill three people and now she was smiling with Roan. She would admit that the blades she launched were thrown with precision and accuracy. It was a smart and well executed attack, but she also knew Clarke. She hated killing and the girl that she knew before the mountain would never smile at what she had just done. Of course a lot had happened since then and it was clear that Clarke had been through so much and had learned to accept death. It still made Lexa’s blood boil at the fact that Queen Nia had taken that once innocent girl and turned her into something else entirely.

Lexa knew that the ground had that effect on people. She knew that death was not the end and she had learned to accept it long ago, but that didn’t serve to quell her anger towards what the Queen had done to Clarke. She would get her revenge for Costia and for Clarke and she would make sure that Nia never hurt anyone she cared about again.

Lexa felt her heart jump into her throat as a blade bit into the flesh of Clarke’s arm. It wasn’t too bad, but she knew it could be a factor in the future. She watched with bated breath as Clarke and Roan continued to eliminate their opponents and she watched as they skillfully moved, defending themselves and each other. She couldn’t deny how impressed she was with Clarke’s skill. She had seen her train already, and it was true that her opponents weren’t the best the coalition had to offer, but they were warriors with skill nonetheless, and they had trained for a much longer period of time than Clarke had.

Two years was enough time to become skilled with a weapon, but Clarke’s skills surpassed what she should have been able to do. She recognized though that when it’s kill or be killed, you quickly learn how to kill. Training in Azgeda wasn’t easy either and the torture and highly difficult training that Clarke must have been subject to definitely served to teach her at a much faster pace than for a usual warrior.

Lexa watched as Clarke and Roan stood back to back, working together to eliminate more of their opponents, but her heart dropped when she saw the dagger dig into Clarke’s leg and then the blade cut across her abdomen. Neither wound was fatal, but it would definitely slow her down and it would affect her ability to fight for the rest of the trial. She watched as Roan cut down the man that had injured Clarke and the fight continued.

/////

“Holy shit,” Raven said as she watched Clarke’s three blades find home in three bodies. Octavia and Bellamy were standing on either side of her and they nodded their agreements with her reactions. They were in the front row of the crowd, standing right beside the wooden platform that all the clan leaders were seated upon.

Abby’s reaction to her daughters skill was not as impressed as Clarke smirked at something Roan said to her, “What have they turned her into?”

“A warrior, Abby,” Octavia defended. She understood that Abby was only trying to protect Clarke, but it was clear that Clarke didn’t want nor need her protection, and she was getting annoyed with the obnoxious way that Abby was acting. “She’s been through a lot and she has learned how to survive on the ground. She may not be what you remember, but this is who she is now. She doesn’t need your protection and she sure as hell doesn’t need you treating her like a child. She’s your daughter, and she needs your support not your scorn.”

Abby stood mouth agape at Octavia’s words. Before she could snap back a reply she winced as she watched Clarke take a cut to the arm. A string of curse words came from Octavia and Raven, Raven’s much more colorful, and Bellamy flinched.

They watched the fight, impressed by both Clarke’s and Roan’s skills. The two were doing well until Clarke took the dagger to the leg. Abby took a step forward, but Octavia and Bellamy held her back. “You can’t do anything Abby. If you do something, they will end the trial and they could kill both Clarke and Roan. You have to let this happen.” It was clear in her tone that Octavia was nervous and it seemed that she wasn’t the only one who was having to hold back to keep from helping Clarke. Bellamy was shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot and it was clear he was using all his strength to stay rooted in place. All they could do was watch and wait and hope that Clarke and Roan could make it out of this.

/////

Clarke stumbled back and watched as Roan took out the man that had cut across her midsection. She took a second to regain her composure, but that second cost her. Roan was surrounded by three opponents and she watched as he did his best to defend, but one of the injuries he had previously obtained slowed him down and it cost him. She watched as Roan blocked one sword that came at him, but he couldn’t stop the second one. One of her opponents forced his blade through the right side of Roan’s chest. His eyes widened and when the sword was removed from his chest, his body gave out and he collapsed. 

“Roan!” Clarke cried out and she pushed forward to get to her opponent before he could finish Roan off completely. The three remaining opponents of course were the best three. Two were from Trikru and one was Broadleaf and all three used swords. Clarke felt her adrenaline spike as she launched a flurry of attacks at her opponents. Her new burst of speed caught all three of them off guard. She kicked the legs out from under one, sent the second stumbling backwards from a hard fist to the face, and she fought the third one head on. They were in a deadlock, but he was much stronger than her. He applied more pressure on his sword and with the injury to Clarke’s leg she dropped to one knee. She could feel her opponent bearing down on her so she reached up and grasped her blade with her free hand. Blood gushed out of her palm as the blade bit into her flesh, but it allowed her just enough leverage to push her opponent back. 

What Clarke did was so unexpected, her opponent stumbled backwards and she was able to force her blade through his chest, ending his life. As soon as he went down her two other opponents came at her and they pushed her back. She blocked each attack, but her heel hit a body on the ground and she lost her balance for a split second. She was able to regain it, but her opponents took advantage. They surrounded her on both sides and Clarke struggled to defend both of them. She was able to get one of them to stagger backwards and she charged the second. They exchanged blows, but finally Clarke found an opening. She took advantage of it, rolling into her opponents guard, pulling a hidden dagger from her belt and slicing his throat with it. 

Clarke could feel her head growing fuzzy from blood loss, but she still watched as he dropped dead. She reached up to her head as if touching it would ease the pounding she was feeling and the ringing in her ears. She had been so out of it in that moment, she hadn’t realized her last opponent had come up from behind her until she felt his blade cutting down her back. Clarke’s whole body lurched forward as he tore through her clothing and sliced a long line down her back. Clarke cried out and she felt like her entire body was on fire. She could feel her blood dripping down her back and she turned around just in time to block an incoming attack. The final Trikru man came at her using all of his power and with Clarke’s weakened state, he managed to disarm her. Clarke could hear the crowds gasp around her, but she kept going. She had no time to reach for another weapon, so she ducked under his next few attacks until she found a weakness in his stance. She waited until the last second and then dodged a strike aimed for her heart. Clarke grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her body. The sword flew out of his hand, but Clarke stumbled forward. The flip took up most of her remaining energy and the cut down her back sent shockwaves of pain throughout her entire body.

Her opponent rolled to his feet much quicker than she anticipated and he started to race towards her, reaching for the dagger he had in a sheath on his thigh. The blade was longer than usual for a dagger and the metal was much more jagged than usual. Clarke turned around to face him, but she was too slow to react and she felt the blade pierce into the upper left part of her abdomen, and he twisted. Her eyes grew wide and she could hear the gasps of the crowd and the cries from Skaikru behind her, but that wasn’t what mattered to her. She looked up onto the stage and immediately, her eyes locked onto watery green. She looked at Lexa, but there was nothing she could do, no way that she could comfort the Commander for what she was about to see. She had tried her best to win, but having only two years of training and the disadvantage in numbers seemed to be too much for her. She had hoped she’d be able to survive the trial, but now all she could do was hope the Lexa and her people would survive without her.

Her eyes were drawn as Nia rose from her throne and screamed out at her, but Clarke had nothing left. Her opponent finally pulled the blade from her body and she dropped down onto both knees. He pulled back the dagger, ready to deliver the final blow, and Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa to see the one person she cared about more than anything before her end. 

In that moment, something snapped within her. Looking into the eyes of Lexa, she knew she wasn’t willing to accept her own death. She still had so much to live for. Clarke rolled to the side at the last second, just as her opponent brought down his blade.

The crowd cheered as Clarke narrowly escaped her death, but there was really nothing left Clarke could do. She struggled to rise to her feet and she picked up a small blade that was beside her on the ground. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do. Clarke’s entire body was burning and her vision was being disturbed by black dots. Her head was foggy and she could barely remain on her feet, but she wasn’t going to give up. Her and Lexa weren’t done yet, and she still needed to make things right with her mother and had sworn that Nia wouldn’t get to see her fall. She got into her stance and prepared to defend herself once more. Her opponent grinned maliciously, knowing he had the advantage and he charged towards her, but he never made it. 

Roan had returned to his feet just in time to throw his blade at her attacker. It pierced into his back and he stopped in his tracks, eyes wide with surprise. He dropped to the ground as his last breath escaped his lips, and it was over. The crowd erupted with cheers as the last man fell. Clarke and Roan had won.

/////

Lexa watched as the blade entered Roan’s chest. The wound wasn’t immediately fatal, but it would be if it wasn’t treated soon. She could feel her nerves begin to vibrate throughout her entire body. With Roan down Clarke was on her own, and the remaining warriors were skilled. She knew the two Trikru warriors that had been selected and she knew from the start that they would be the toughest opponents for Clarke and Roan. She watched as Clarke seemed to regain some energy and she pushed forward. She killed the warrior from Broadleaf and then locked into battle with the remaining Trikru. 

Lexa was on the edge of her seat as they surrounded Clarke. Clarke was able to separate them and she watched as Clarke finished off one of them, but then her heart dropped to her stomach. Clarke’s injuries seemed to be affecting her and the remaining warrior was approaching from behind her. She winced as she watched the blade slide down Clarke’s back, but Clarke kept fighting.

She felt her entire world shatter as Clarke’s previous injuries marred her fighting abilities and the blade of a dagger disappeared into her flesh and twisted. She heard the anguished cries from Abby and the Skaikru that were watching but she said nothing. She was frozen in place, her eyes glued to the woman that she cared for more than anything else in the world. She could feel her eyes begin to well with tears. In the back of her mind, she knew she shouldn’t let her weakness show, but she couldn’t help it, this was Clarke.

She watched as Clarke looked to the stage and their eyes met. Lexa saw the look in Clarke’s eyes and she could feel her world crumbling around her. The look in Clarke’s eyes was an apology, acceptance of defeat, and Lexa couldn’t bare to look at it, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away either. She blocked out what Nia was screaming from the stage and vowed to make Nia suffer dearly for whatever happened to Clarke later. She watched as Clarke dropped to her knees, their eyes never breaking contact with each other.

She thought she saw resignation in those gorgeous blue eyes, and she wanted to scream at Clarke, tell her not to give up, to keep fighting, but nothing came out of her mouth. Her expression must have shown something though because she watched something new flicker in Clarke’s eyes and then she was rolling out of the way of a death blow. Lexa exhaled deeply, but she knew that Clarke was no where near safe yet. She watched as Clarke struggled to stay on her feet, her body trembling and covered in sweat, but a determination in her eyes.

She couldn’t explain the relief she felt when she noticed Roan rise from his spot and launch his sword, ending the man’s life and ending the trial. She knew she should be feeling some remorse. The warrior just killed had been Trikru and she knew he had a family, but she couldn’t help but feel anything for him in that moment.

She jumped to her feet to end the trial. “The trials are over. Wanheda and Prince Roan have won. Their bonding will be scheduled at a later time. Healers attend to them immediately.” Lexa didn’t wait to see if anyone would listen to her. She jumped off the stage and made her way quickly over to Clarke. 

Clarke’s entire world was spinning and she was struggling to hold onto consciousness. The one thing that kept her tethered to consciousness was the voice of Lexa. She looked to the stage and watched as Lexa rushed over to her, healers behind her, but as Lexa approached, her body gave out. 

She fell, but instead of landing onto the hard ground, she landed in the arms of the Commander. “I told you we weren’t done,” Clarke rasped. She could barely keep her eyes open and she felt like her entire body was on fire.

“You’re right, and your fight isn’t over yet Clarke. I need you to keep fighting,” Lexa said. Her voice was trembling and it sounded much more broken than she wanted it to, but she didn’t have the time to care. Clarke nodded her head slightly and mumbled something incoherent as she fell into oblivion. “Clarke?” Lexa called, her voice panicked.

Just as Clarke fell into unconsciousness Abby and Nyko arrived at her side. “We need to get her and the Prince into my medical tent now,” Nyko instructed. Lexa ordered two guards to pick up the now unconscious Prince and Lexa lifted Clarke into the air. She sprinted towards Nyko’s tent the healers on her heels behind her. 

“Don’t you dare leave me Clarke,” Lexa said as she reached Nyko’s tent. She laid her down on the bed as Nyko and Abby entered along with the two guards carrying Roan. “Stay with me,” she begged as Nyko and Abby ushered her away to get to work on the two patients.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's chapter 12. Just a warning, this chapter is a little dark and sad at some points, but when is The 100 not dark right? But don't worry, there are also some cute moments too. Let me know what you think, your comments and kudos always urge me on and make writing this so much better. I hope you enjoy it!

Abby and Nyko ordered everyone out of the tent, except for any healers, and set to work on the two patients. Abby had been spending some of her time while she was in Polis working with Nyko, so some of her medical supplies were already there. Clarke’s entire frame was wracked with bruises and gashes, the most dangerous was the gash going down her back, and the stab wound on her thigh and abdomen. The gash on her back wasn’t extremely dangerous. Clarke’s armor had done its job and prevented the blade from doing any long term damage, but there was still a steady stream of blood pouring out from it.

Abby was more concerned with the wound on Clarke’s abdomen and she set to work cleaning around the wound and trying to figure out exactly how much damage had been done. “You’re gonna be okay baby,” she whispered as she proceeded tending to the wounds.

Clarke was not in good shape, but Roan was even worse. After throwing the blade that had saved Clarke, he passed out immediately. The blade had impaled his chest completely and blood was oozing out of the wound on both sides. Nyko set to work cleaning it and preparing to stitch it up. 

The healers in the tent worked for hours performing emergency surgeries and suturing all the wounds that the two warriors had obtained.

/////

Lexa was pacing outside of the healers tent after being forced to leave so the healers could work. She ignored anyone who tried to comfort her or speak to her. She was too lost in her own head. She could get the image of Clarke’s pale, limp body out of her mind and the events of the trial kept replaying in her head. 

She should have done something to stop the trials, should have worked harder to get Clarke to tell her about Nia, should have called for Nia’s head. In the back of her mind she knew it was irrational, but she blamed herself for this anyway.

She was pulled out of her mind when someone approached from behind her. “Heda,” he addressed.

Lexa was prepared to yell at whoever had thought it necessary to bother her, but once she recognized Flax, she calmed, “What have you learned?”

“Not much Heda. I spoke with some of the people of Azgeda. They didn’t even know that Wanheda was among them while she was there.”

Lexa nodded. That wasn’t much of a surprise. “Yes, Nia had her disguise herself. She wouldn’t want word of Wanheda’s whereabouts spreading to me or to Skaikru. What else did you find?”

“There really wasn’t much Heda. The only thing out of the ordinary was a man with a surplus of guards. I don’t know who he was. I couldn’t get close without drawing suspicion, but it seemed strange.”

Lexa thought about it. Could be a lover of Nia’s, although that was unlikely. It could be a family member or an important warrior or advisor that Nia would want protected. It probably wasn’t much, but it couldn’t hurt to dig a little deeper. “Return to Azgeda. Keep looking, and if you can, look into that man. I need you to go quickly Flax. Do not exhaust yourself, but please take the fastest horse available and stop as little as possible. I am running out of time to help Wanheda,” Lexa said with urgency.

Flax recognized the urgent tones in her voice. “I will be quick Heda. I will do what I can.” Lexa nodded and he was off again. Once he was gone, Lexa returned to her pacing in front of the tent, just waiting until she could see Clarke again.

/////

Lexa had been outside the tent for hours when Abby and Nyko finally emerged. Abby’s face was wet with tears and Lexa could feel her entire body start to cave in on itself and it was hard to breath. The look of distress on Lexa’s face must have been evident as Nyko spoke quickly, “Heda, they are both alive.”

Lexa closed her eyes and sighed in relief at the words. Clarke was alive. “Is she alright?” She asked, not even a little bit concerned about Roan for the time being.

“She lost a lot of blood. The stab wound to her abdomen punctured her spleen, so I had to remove it. I think we got to it fast enough to prevent her blood from being poisoned. I stitched up all of her wounds, and that’s all that can be done. She is alive, but still unconscious. We have no way of knowing when she’ll wake up,” Abby explained. Her voice was trembling and her skin was a little paler than usual, but the news Abby delivered wasn’t awful. At least Clarke was alive, and Lexa knew she was a fighter. Clarke would wake up from this.

Lexa stood a little taller and cleared her throat, trying to show at least some calm and control even though inside she was anything but. “And the Prince?”

“His injuries are much more extensive Heda. We did what we could to help him, but again there is no way of knowing when or even if he’ll wake up,” Nyko said.

Lexa nodded slightly, “Thank you for your hard work. Is it alright if I go and see them?”

Nyko was aware at least a little of what was going on between the Commander and Clarke, so he knew she was concerned. Abby on the other hand did not know about them, and he had a feeling she may not be too thrilled with it. “Yes of course,” he said. “Abby why don’t you go and get some rest?”

“I’m not leaving my daughter’s side,” she snapped.

“Abby, she is alive, but there is nothing more you can do for her. You don’t look very well. Go and get some rest. I will send someone for you if anything happens,” Nyko prodded. Abby didn’t seem too pleased with the idea, but she was so tired and she wasn’t feeling the best, so she reluctantly went to get some rest. 

Since Abby wasn’t a part of the delegation for the Summit, she had to stay in the Skaikru section of Polis. Each clan had their own sectioned off area of Polis where the warriors stayed during the Summit. Abby entered the building for Skaikru and was immediately bombarded by everyone. 

“Is Clarke okay?” 

“Is she alive?”

“Can we see her?”

The questions were coming from everyone, even those of Skaikru who didn’t know Clarke very well. She had saved everyone from the mountain, and she was the reason that any kind of alliance existed between them and the grounders, so it made sense why people cared about her, and it touched Abby. She raised her hand and after a moment, the room quieted. “Clarke is alive.” The room all took a collective sigh of relief and waited for Abby to elaborate. “She’s still unconscious, but she’s alive. We just have to continue on like usual and wait for her to wake up.”

The room all seemed to settle down and they all dispersed to return to their normal activities. Octavia, Raven, Bellamy, Lincoln, Monty, and Harper had more questions. They asked for more details on Clarke’s injuries and then the group spent some time together, just rejoicing in the fact that their friend was alive.

Meanwhile, Nyko led Lexa into his tent. Clarke and Roan were each stretched out on their own beds, their wounds stitched and wrapped up in gauze. Lexa walked up to where Clarke was lying and she pulled up a stool. “I will leave you. I will be just outside if you need anything Heda,” Nyko said.

Lexa was too focused on Clarke to form any words so she just nodded. She sat down in the stool she pulled up by Clarke’s head, and for the first time that day she let a few tears escape her eyes. Clarke looked beaten and battered, but she also looked peaceful and most importantly, alive. Lexa ran her hand through Clarke’s hair and positioned herself so she was inches from Clarke’s face. “We’re not done yet,” she started. “You’ve done so well, and you’ve come so far. You are not done yet Clarke. We are not done yet. I need you to keep fighting, I need you to heal, and I need you to wake up. I need you, Clarke,” she whispered. She leaned down and placed a kiss to Clarke’s forehead, then her cheek, then her lips, and then she returned to her forehead. She shifted the stool so she could reach for Clarke’s hand and she laced their fingers together. She stayed in that tent with Clarke until her responsibilities caught up with her. She kissed the back of Clarke’s hand before leaving her with Nyko. She tended to her duties and any opportunity she had she was with Clarke, waiting for her to wake up, and she would wait as long as it took.

/////

All Clarke could see was darkness. It was pitch black, she couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything. She heard a voice echoing in her mind, “We’re not done yet.” “Stay with me.” She recognized the voice but it sounded far off. Then she remembered. There was a fight, her and Roan were there together. She had taken a few cuts and few hits that would definitely result in bruises, and then there was a dagger in her leg. Roan was there to help one second, and then the next he was impaled on a sword. Then she was fighting the pain of her own injuries and dagger pierced into her midsection. She saw Lexa approach after that, and then everything went black. Lexa. The sound of her voice echoing through Clarke’s mind sounded terrified. She was begging Clarke to fight, to wake up, and Clarke was going to listen. 

Clarke tried to move, tried to open her eyes, but everything was so heavy. Eventually, her eyes cracked open. It wasn’t dark, but the tent that she was in kept most of the light from outside out. Her best guess was that it was early morning, but she wasn’t positive. Her head was pounding and her muscles were tense and heavy. She tried to move again, but her body felt heavy, especially her legs, which was strange. Sure she had taken a dagger, but she didn’t think it had been that bad. Clarke managed to lift her upper body slightly off the bed and she realized why she couldn’t move. 

Lexa’s head was lying, asleep, on Clarke’s uninjured thigh. Clarke felt her heart swell, Lexa was with her waiting for her to wake up, and she looked so undeniably peaceful. It was a rare look for the Commander and Clarke couldn’t pull her eyes away. She moved slightly, to avoid waking the sleeping brunette, but that was not a good choice as Clarke felt a sharp pain shoot through her entire body. She cringed and couldn’t stop her body from lurching slightly. She hoped that she hadn’t moved too much, but she watched as Lexa’s nose crinkled and then her eyes shot open. “Clarke?” Lexa asked softly and she moved to the head of Clarke’s bed.

Clarke laid back and winced. There was really no comfortable position she could lay in with the wound on her back and her midsection. “Hey,” she rasped.

Lexa heard the dry, hoarse tone of her voice and reached over to grab a cup of water. She helped to tilt Clarke’s head up and helped her drink. “Thanks,” Clarke said, pulling herself up higher on the bed, using the pillows that were there for support. “That was a lot harder than I was hoping it would be,” Clarke admitted. She was trying to lighten the mood, but it clearly didn’t have the desired effect. Lexa’s eyes glossed over with a light sheen of tears and Clarke responded quickly to ease her, “Lex, hey. Shhh, I’m here, it’s okay.”

“I thought I was going to lose you again,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke reached up to cup Lexa’s cheek and she bit back a wince, “You didn’t. I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” She reached around to cup the back of Lexa’s neck and pulled her down until their lips connected. Lexa returned the kiss willingly, but she was careful, not wanting to injure Clarke. 

They separated and Lexa rested her forehead on Clarke’s. “You scared me,” Lexa admitted. It wasn’t a something she felt often, but losing Clarke was one of the most horrifying feelings she had ever experienced.

Clarke closed her eyes and reached up cup one of Lexa’s cheeks. “I’m sorry for that, I didn’t mean to. I felt that dagger, and for a split second I thought it was over, and honestly, I was ready to accept that.” Lexa’s entire body tensed and Clarke’s thumb softly rubbed against her cheek. “Nia wouldn’t be able to hurt me, no one would, but then I looked at you, and I couldn’t let go. I promised you I wouldn’t lose and I wasn’t ready to leave you, us, behind. You saved me again.” Lexa closed the small space in between them and reconnected their lips in a desperate, but also gentle kiss. Clarke melted into it and for the moment, all her pain faded away. 

Clarke tried to deepen the kiss and turned her body, but when she did, a pained whimper escaped her lips and Lexa immediately pulled away, “I’m sorry.” Her eyes started to frantically scan Clarke’s frame.

Clarke moved slowly, to lay down flatter in the bed, “It’s okay. It was my fault anyway. I’m fine.” Lexa’s eyes didn’t leave her body and Clarke had to reach out to grab her hand to gain her attention. “Lexa stop. I’m good. I lived and so did-,” Clarke gasped, “Oh my god, please tell me Roan survived.” 

Lexa was quick to ease Clarke’s fear. “He’s alive. He’s over behind that curtain,” she pointed across the tent to where a curtain sectioned off a part of the tent. “He’s still unconscious, but his wounds are more severe than yours, but it’s only been two days, he’ll be fin-” 

“Hold on, two days?” Clarkes eyes widened. 

“You’ve been out for two days,” Lexa responded.

Clarke immediately sat up in her bed even though it hurt like a bitch to move, “I need to report to Queen Nia.”

Lexa pushed Clarke’s shoulders back down onto the bed, “No you don’t.”

Clarke tried to push back against Lexa, but with each tiny movement, a new wave a pain rolled through her, so she stopped, “Lexa, I have to. Has Nia come by and said anything?”

Lexa felt her blood boil. Clarke and Roan were her people and Nia had only been by once to check on them, and in that check up, it was clear she didn’t care much for either of their well being. “She said that you are to report to her when you are ready.”

Clarke pushed back against Lexa again, her face twisted in a grimace the entire time, “Then I have to go see her. In Azgeda, ready means awake. I’m awake now, so I need to report to her.”

Lexa pushed down all the way and stopped Clarke from moving, “Well in Polis, ready means ready. You are not ready, and I am not letting you leave this tent. At least until you get a little more rest.”

Clarke tried to argue, but as if on cue, a yawn escaped her lips. “Fine, I’ll rest, but then I have to report to her.”

Lexa nodded. It would have to do. She leaned down and placed a tender kiss to Clarke’s lips. “Rest, Clarke,” she whispered from barely an inch away from her lips. Clarke nodded and her eyes drifted shut, and within minutes she was out.

/////

_Clarke was standing in Nia’s fortress with Nia sitting tall on her throne. “You disobeyed me Clarke,” she sneered. “I told you if you spoke one word of the last Mounon to anyone then I would kill all of your people.”_

_Clarke was on her knees begging and pleading, “My Queen. Please. I am so sorry, please give me one more chance. I will not fail you again.”_

_“It is too late,” Nia said and she stood from her throne. The next minute they were in the Mount Weather. Clarke was standing in the exact spot she had been standing when she pulled the lever to irradiate level five. She was looking up at the monitors that were focused on Arkadia. The people there were going about their lives as usual as Clarke watched._

__

_Queen Nia was standing beside Clarke and Emerson was there. He took a seat in front of one of the computers and started typing. After a moment he looked up at Nia, “The missile is ready.”_

_“No! Please,” Clarke begged, her eyes still glued to the monitor._

_“Fire it,” Nia ordered. Emerson typed one final command into the computer and then sat back in his chair to watch the monitor. Clarke felt like she was a second away from passing out when the missile appeared on screen. She watched as it soared through the air and then collided with the metal infrastructure of the ark. The explosion was massive, an array of red and oranges filled the screen until the black of smoke took over. The Ark was falling apart and the entire Skaikru camp was engulfed in flames. Clarke felt tears streaming down her face and she had to close her eyes, unable to watch anymore._

_When she opened her eyes again, she wasn’t in the mountain anymore, she was just outside the gate of Arkadia, or at least where the gate used to be. The scent of burning flesh wafted through the air and imprinted itself inside Clarke’s nose. Her stomach churned and a wave of nausea washed over her. Then the screaming registered in her mind. She took in the scene as the Skaikru who were alive stumbled around trying to find loved ones or find safety. Dead bodies and severed body parts were lying everywhere. People were crying over the bodies of those they lost or screaming out in pain from the injuries they had obtained._

_Clark took a few steps forward and her heart stopped. Bellamy was on his knees holding a body in his arms. Clarke took a few steps forward to get a better look and she recognized the familiar features of Octavia. Her eyes were closed and there was blood covering the sides of her face. Her chest wasn’t moving and Bellamy was shaking her. “O! O, please wake up,” It was the weakest she had ever heard his voice sound._

_Clarke was going to make a move to comfort him, but a high pitched scream diverted her attention. Clarke made her way over to it and found Raven leaning up against some random piece of metal. She was pale and covered in sweat and blood and she wouldn’t stop screaming. Clarke approached her and Raven reached down to where her leg should have been, but it wasn’t. Blood was gushing out from where her limb had been severed and she was growing paler and weaker by the second. Clarke looked around for something she could use to help when she recognized a body on the ground._

_She approached the body and fell to her knees beside it. “Mom. No,” she whispered. Her tears were streaming heavily down her cheeks and her entire body was trembling. She heard footsteps approach from behind her and they stopped right at her back. “I told you this would happen if you betrayed me,” Nia said. “Their deaths are on you. All because you disobeyed me.”_

Nia’s laugh was the last thing Clarke heard before her eyes flew open and her body jerked forward. Her breathing was erratic and she wasn’t getting enough oxygen in her lungs. Her head was swimming as black spots appeared in her vision and her body seemed to recognize that she was in pain. A burning sensation flared up from her wounds and shot through her entire body, contorting her face in pain.

Lexa was by her side in an instant, her hands reaching out to cup Clarke’s cheeks. “Clarke! Clarke, it’s okay. You’re safe, you’re okay, it’s me,” Lexa cooed, but it had no effect. Clarke’s breathing wasn’t calming down and the look in her eyes was far off. She climbed up onto the bed behind the panicking blonde and wrapped her arms around her. Lexa was used to Clarke waking up from nightmares and she always seemed to calm down when she was being held and a little bit of pressure was applied to her chest. “Breath, Clarke. I need you to calm down for me. I’m right here, you’re safe. Breath for me Clarke,” Lexa said into her ear. She had held Clarke through one of these attacks many times, but none were nearly as bad as this one. “Breath with me Clarke,” she said again. She took deep breaths and she applied some pressure to Clarke’s midsection to tell her when to inhale and exhale.

It took a while, but Lexa finally got Clarke’s breathing to slow, but she was drenched in sweat, her body was trembling, and tears were continuing to roll down her cheeks. “You’re okay. I’m right here,” Lexa cooed.

“L-l-lexa,” Clarke stammered out.

“Shh, don’t try to talk yet. Just breath.” Clare did as instructed and she just sat in Lexa’s embrace. Her entire body was aching and her head was screaming at her. After a while of rest, Lexa spoke, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Clarke shook her head, “N-no.”

“Okay,” Lexa whispered. “Just relax. I’ve got you.”

Lexa rocked back and forth and held onto Clarke for what seemed like hours after that before they finally separated. Lexa helped to situate Clarke in the most comfortable position she could get her in before taking a seat in the stool beside her. She reached out and interlocked their fingers as she sat beside Clarke. “I’m sorry,” Clarke said.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Lexa replied. “Are you alright?”

Clarke closed her eyes and laid back so she was facing up towards the top of the tent. “No,” she admitted quietly. “Queen Nia’s beaten me. I tried so hard not to let her, but she has.”

Lexa squeezed Clarke’s hand, “No she hasn’t. She will never beat you Clarke.”

Images from her dream plagued her mind and Clarke just couldn’t shake them. “But she has. I… I’m sorry Lexa. I wanted to keep fighting, but it’s a losing battle. Nia has me beat, and there is nothing I can do.”

Lexa tilted Clarke’s chin so she could look into her eyes, but Clarke kept them shut. “Clarke, look at me,” Lexa requested. Clarke slowly opened her eyes and blue met green once again. “We will figure something out Clarke. Together.”

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said, defeated, and she shifted slightly in her cot. She winced as the injury on her abdomen pulled and Lexa squeezed her hand tighter. “I’m going to be bonded with Roan, and there is nothing that either of us can do to stop it.”

Lexa felt her muscles tense, “The bonding isn’t going to take place until the end of the Summit which isn’t for two more weeks. We have time Clarke, we can figure this out.”

Clarke shook her head as the sounds of Bellamy crying for Octavia and Raven’s pained screams echoed through her mind. “No we can’t. I can’t fight this Lexa, I can’t disobey her.”

“Clarke you are not going down without a fight. We are not going down without a fight,” she insisted.

“I have no fight left, Lexa,” Clarke raised her voice and winced at her flaring injuries.

“Clarke-” 

Lexa started to argue back but was cut off, “Please, Lexa. I don’t want to argue. If all I have left with you is two weeks, I don’t want to spend it fighting.”

Lexa was at a loss for words. Clarke was giving up on herself, on them. She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to spend this time with Clarke, and she wanted to make her happy, but there was no way in hell that she was going to just lose her like this. Nia can’t win, this can’t be happening. Lexa was not going to let it happen without a fight, but Clarke seemed so fragile in this moment, Lexa couldn’t bear arguing over it with her. She leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Clarke’s lips. “Just sleep Clarke,” she said and she brushed some of her golden hair behind her ears. Clarke yawned and nodded and her mind drifted. Lexa watched the rise and fall of her chest for a while before leaving the healers tent. She was running out of time. Clarke was giving up, breaking, before her very eyes, and she was powerless to stop it. She needed to figure something out. Fast.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here is the next chapter! It's kinda short and I'm sorry about that but my mind has been struggling to formulate good ideas lately. I really want to do this story and these characters justice and I hope I've succeeded so far and I will continue to try and create a good story. As always let me know what you think. I really appreciate all of your input. It means more to me than you know and I'm open to any kind of ideas you guys may have as well. Thank you so much for sticking with this story and I hope you guys enjoy!

Even with Clarke and Roan staying in the healer’s tent, the Summit meetings continued. Nia had two different guards with as replacements until they were healthy enough to return. The Summit meetings since the trial had occurred had been relatively normal. Nia boasted about being victorious and continued to take a few jabs at Lexa when she could, but that was really all from her. 

There was an argument between two of the clans over trade routes, but Lexa managed to settle it rather easily. The conversation shifted over to The Shadow, but didn’t last long, as no one had any real or valuable information. The meeting today had been going on for a while and Lexa’s mind kept drifting off to Clarke. She knew she needed to pay attention. She couldn’t afford anyone noticing her distracted state, but based off the glares she was getting from Titus, he had. She had already snapped at a few of her ambassadors and she was pretty sure that there was an angry scowled plastered to her face, but she just couldn’t shake it off. She was angry and distracted and the ambassadors petty squabbles were not helping her current mood. Lexa knew she needed to clear her head, and that wasn’t going to happen any time soon, so she dismissed the room, ending the meeting a little earlier than usual.

Everyone left except for Titus unfortunately. When the door closed, sealing the two of them in the room together, Lexa slumped back into her throne and waited for the argument she knew was about to happen. “You are distracted,” is all he said.

Lexa sighed and rubbed her temples, “There is a lot on my mind, Titus.”

“You need to focus Heda,” he said taking a step so he was standing below the dias in front of her throne. “The Summit is not nearly over. You must attend to your business. Queen Nia is trying to sew dissent among the clans and there is an assassin behind Polis walls. You cannot be distracted by Wanheda. She is healing and is to be bonded to the Hainofa soon.”

“I do not need a reminder of that,” Lexa growled. 

“It seems you do,” Titus chastised. “Love is weakness, and you are projecting your weakness for all of the clans to see.”

“I will not hear this again,” Lexa halted, but of course, Titus kept pushing.

“You will,” he yelled. “Do not make her pay with her life like Costia did.” Lexa straightened in her throne as anger washed over her in waves, but before she could respond, Titus pressed on. “Queen Nia used Costia in an attempt to weaken you. She wanted to take control of the coalition that you built. She killed Costia so you would slip up, and she could prey on your weakness, however you didn’t falter. Nia has learned from Costia, and now she using your weakness again, but in a different way. She is keeping Wanheda alive to force you to make a mistake, one you are already on the brink of committing. You cannot fall into her trap. You must stay focused.”

Lexa was reeling. She rose from her throne and stalked down the steps towards Titus sending him stumbling backwards. “Nia will not take control of my coalition, I will not allow her, but I also will not let her torment the lives of my people,” Lexa was fuming and Titus looked absolutely terrified. “She is controlling the Commander of Death, using her to scare the other clans. I will not allow Nia to gain support from other clans out of fear, and I will not allow her to control the Commander of Death. I am focused on my coalition. I have been striving for peace ever since I ascended and I will not let Nia ruin that.” Lexa was breathing heard and her teeth were clenched. Her hands were tightening into fists and she had Titus retreating until his back was pressed up against the door of her throne room. “Now get out,” she yelled. Titus scrambled quickly for the door handle and made his escape out the door. Lexa turned and stormed out onto the balcony to get some air and try to reign in her current rage.

To say she was frustrated was an understatement. She was mad at Titus, at Nia, at herself, and at Clarke. She didn’t want to be, but she couldn’t help it. How could Clarke resign herself to the fate that Nia had set for her without a fight? After her and Clark talked last night, she had left the healers tent to find her best scouts. If Clarke wasn’t going to give her the answers she was looking for, then she was going to get them herself. She had promised Clarke to let her figure everything out on her own, but since it appeared that she had given up, Lexa was going to find her answers. She couldn’t leave Polis, and she couldn’t talk to any Azgeda as likely no one knew what was being held against Clarke, and if anyone did, they definitely wouldn’t break, so Lexa had settled on sending a group of her best scouts to aid Flax in his search in Azgeda to find her some answers. It wasn’t ideal, but it was all she could really do. 

Lexa was still standing out on her balcony, thinking, when she heard a knock on the door. She walked into the room and plopped down into her throne, “Enter.”

The door creaked open and in walked Luna. “Luna,” Lexa greeted.

“Lexa,” Luna greeted informally. “I came to check on you.”

“The Commander does not need to be checked on,” Lexa deadpanned.

“Maybe not,” she agreed. “But Lexa does.” 

Lexa let out a drawn out sigh and Luna watched as her shoulders deflated. Lexa hated being vulnerable. It was a feeling that she rarely ever felt and when she did it made her feel weak, but she needed to talk to someone about Clarke. She needed to let it out, and Luna was someone she trusted enough to confide in. “She’s giving up Luna. She won’t talk to me, won’t tell me what Nia has on her. Before her trial she told me she would live and we would figure everything out. Now she lived, but she doesn’t want to free herself anymore. She has accepted Nia’s control over her and she asked me to accept it as well. She doesn’t want to argue with me since we have such little time together. Am I supposed to just give up? Let her go? Let her give up on us? On herself?” Lexa’s voice was sad, but Luna could also read some level anger. That anger was ever present during the Summit meeting and it was present now. 

“Lexa, whatever Nia is holding against her, it is clearly dangerous. I know you won’t give up on her and I know you will do what you can to help her. I also know that you are angry with her for wanting to give up, but Lexa she is scared. Nia torturer her immensely and she is the threatening her still,” Luna sighed. “This cannot be an easy decision for her either. I am not telling you to give up on her, but do not spend these last two weeks, if that is all that is left, angry with her. Do not ignore her or focus on Nia. Focus on her, be there for her, be with her. Before it is too late.”

Lexa sunk down in her chair. Luna was right, but Lexa wasn’t in the right mindset yet to go see the blonde. She definitely wasn’t going to give up on Clarke, but she wasn’t going to waste a moment with her either. “Thank you Luna.” Luna recognized it as a dismissal so she nodded her head before leaving Lexa alone in her throne room.

/////

Clarke opened her eyes and tried to sit up, but immediately regretted it. She let out a groan as pain coursed through her body, and then two people were at her side. A cup was held up against her lips. “Drink, Clarke,” Nyko said and Clarke drained the contents of the cup before grimacing. Nyko chuckled, “I know it is not pleasant, but it will help with the pain.”

Clarke winced as she sat up more on the bed. “Thank you,” she said before her eyes drifted to her mother who was standing rather awkwardly at the bottom of her bed.

“I’ll give you two a minute,” Nyko said, sensing the tension between the two. Clarke nodded, but her eyes never left her mother, and Nyko left them alone.

Clarke stared at her mother but said nothing. She was still angry at her mother, but she also felt relief at seeing her. Relief because the nightmare she had just recently included her mother dead in the middle of Arkadia after the missile struck and it was a relief to see her standing, breathing, alive. Clarke may still be angry, but she wanted to try and find some sort of understanding with her mother. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” Abby started, snapping Clarke out of her thoughts and ending the current silence between them.

Clarke nodded. “Look, mom I-”

“I just wanted-” 

Clarke and Abby spoke at the same time before they both went quiet. “You first,” Clarke said.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Abby started, taking a seat in the stool that Lexa always used when she was there. “I haven’t reacted well to seeing you again and I… It’s just so hard. It’s been two years Clarke, and in that time I wanted to believe you were alive, but I was losing hope. Then the Summit starts and on that first day Marcus found me and told me you were alive and following the Ice Queen. I didn’t know how to react. There were so many emotions and I couldn’t control them, and then I found out what they did to you,” she sniffled. “It’s my job as a mother to keep you safe and I failed. I just want my daughter back and I want her to be safe and I overreacted and I’m sorry,” Abby’s voice tapered off and there were tears shining in her eyes.

That’s a start, Clarke thought. “I know this isn’t easy for you. It’s not easy for me either, but this is who I am now. I’m different than the girl I once was. I’ve been through a lot and I’ve changed a lot. You didn’t fail me. You taught me to be strong, you taught me to fight, you are a part of who I am mom. I get that you’re mad at Azgeda, but you can’t react the way you have been. You tried to slap the Prince. That’s a serious thing mom, and then you yelled at Queen Nia. She could have done a lot worse than the few lashes I got. Skaikru won’t be able to survive a war against Azgeda, so you need to stop overreacting or you will get them all killed. And you can’t keep demanding I give you the answers you’re looking for, or trying to control what I do. I’m my own person, I make my own decisions, and they aren’t all going to be decisions that you agree with. I need you to let me make them anyway and I need you with me instead of against me.”

Abby nodded. “I know. I’m sorry and I will try to react properly next time.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said and she sat up in her bed, swinging her legs over the side. She winced as she did so, but she fought through the pain she was feeling.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Abby asked with a furrowed brow.

“I’m getting up,” Clarke said blankly. “I need to start moving around and I need to build my strength back up.”

“What you need, is rest,” Abby argued.

“I need to move,” Clarke said and she pushed off from the bed. Her knees almost buckled, but she managed to stay on her feet and her mother held her arm to hold her up. Abby gave her a concerned look, but Clarke ignored it. “I’m fine,” she said as she grit her teeth to try and block out some of the pain. She took a step and her legs were wobbling slightly, but she moved forward.

She made her way, slowly, out of the tent and outside. It was bright out so she had to squint and shield her eyes until they adjusted. Clarke was sweating at this point, her body not reacting well to the stress she was putting on it, but Clarke pressed forward anyway, her mom at her side. She started to slowly make her way through the streets of Polis, wincing with every step. She could feel the eyes of everyone in Polis on her as she passed and she could hear her name being whispered around her. She ignore them all, standing as tall as she could and trying to hide her own pain behind the mask she had learned to build for herself, until she made it to a table where Raven, Monty, and Harper were sitting.

Raven was the first to notice them and she hopped up from her seat and walked quickly over to Clarke. “Clarke! Thank god you’re okay,” Raven said as she took the blonde’s other arm to lead her to their table.

“Hey Raven,” Clarke said as she was led to the table. She basically collapsed down into the seat and breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I’ll let you guys catch up,” Abby said. “Be careful, and don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I won’t. Thanks mom,” Clarke said squeezing her mother’s hand and smiling before she left. When she was gone she turned to her friends at the table, “How are you guys?”

“Shouldn’t we be asking you that?” Harper said with a smile.

Clarke grinned. “I’ve been better, but I’ve also been worse, so I’m not going to complain.” The three Skaikru seemed to stiffen some as they all remembered what Clarke’s scarred body had looked like. “It’s okay. I’m fine, really.”

“Good,” Monty said with a smile.

Clarke turned to look at Raven and the sounds of her screaming started echoing her mind. That dream she had was haunting her even when she was awake. She needed to try and solve this missile problem, but she needed to be as discreet and careful as possible. She couldn’t let the events from her dream come to pass.. “How is the stuff with Mount Weather going?”

“We’re still working on it,” Monty said. “The Mountain Men were serious about their security on their weapons, but I’m trying to get into their system.”

“Monty and I will figure it out, don’t worry,” Raven chimed in.

Clarke had faith in their abilities, but it didn’t sound like they were going to figure this issue out before her bonding with Roan. She sat and talked with the three of them for a while until Octavia, Bellamy, and Lincoln returned from the Summit meeting that had been going on and joined them. “Clarke!” Octavia yelled as soon as she noticed her at the table. She ran to Clarke and threw her arms around her, and Clarke had to bite back a groan.

Raven slapped her on the arm, “Get off her you idiot! You’re hurting her.”

Octavia let go of Clarke so fast you would think Clarke had burned her, “Oh shit! I’m so sorry.”

“You’re good O,” Clarke said back, but her voice sounded pained.

“Way to go O,” Bellamy said as he arrived at the table. “You hurt our already injured friend.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot,” Octavia defended weakly. “I just got excited.”

“I’m fine Octavia. Seriously,” Clarke replied. 

The three arrivals took their seats at the table and the group fell into an easy banter between one another. Even though Clarke was in a lot of pain, she couldn’t help but feel happy at where her relationships were with her friends.

“What’s wrong with the Commander?” Octavia suddenly asked. “She did not seem happy at all during the meeting today.”

“That would probably be my doing,” Clarke said with a sigh. She knew Lexa wasn’t happy about her request to accept her bonding, and it wasn’t her intent at all to hurt Lexa, but the dream she had terrified her to the point where she felt she didn’t have a choice in the matter. She couldn’t tell Lexa anything because she couldn’t risk Arkadia and the lives of Skaikru within it. If she had to marry Roan to keep them all safe, then she would do it, no matter how painful it was for her to lose the woman that she had quickly been falling for. “With my bonding with Roan… It’s hard for both of us.” Everyone at the table gave some questioning looks. Only Raven and Octavia knew about the relationship between Clarke and Lexa, and none of them clarified it for anyone else at the table. 

“What are you going to do about that Clarke?” Octavia asked. “You won your trial which is great, but you can’t just go into this bonding with the Prince of Azgeda. You know the grounders culture, once a bond is made, it can’t be undone unless one of you dies.”

Clarke swallowed. “I know, but I don’t have a choice.”

“You could tell us what Nia is holding over you,” Bellamy said. Clarke turned to glare at him, but he ignored it, “I know you said you wanted to figure this out on your own Clarke. I promised you I would trust you and I would stand by you, and I am not going to back out on that, but I really think that we can help you if you just let us.”

“No one can help me anymore. I don’t think even I am going to be able to get myself out of this situation,” Clarke admitted.

“You can’t just give up and roll over,” Raven said.

“I’m not rolling over, but I just don’t have the time or the resources to get myself out of this. I appreciate you all wanting to help me, but there is nothing left that can be done,” Clarke said with finality. It was clear she wasn’t interested in staying on this topic. Her friends didn’t seem thrilled about moving on, but they could tell pushing her was a bad idea, so they moved on to talk about their random thoughts.

The group started to slowly trickle down after that. Octavia and Lincoln left to go and train with Indra, Monty and Harper went to go and have some alone time together, and Raven left to do some more work on the Mount Weather situation. Clarke was left alone with Bellamy for a while, which she didn’t really mind until he had to leave. “I can take you back to the healer’s tent before I go,” he offered. Clarke was about to accept, but then he noticed the Commander making her way towards them. “Actually, I think she can help you,” he said with a knowing look. She hadn’t told Bellamy of their relationship, but it seemed he must have caught on. She nodded her thanks and he left just as Lexa approached. He nodded his head to her as he passed and then it was just Clarke and Lexa.

“You should still be resting,” Lexa commented.

“I’m not good at sitting still,” she shrugged.

Lexa took a seat at the table, “Clarke, I… I want to spend my time with you being happy and not arguing. If all the time that we have is two weeks then I will take it, but you can’t ask me to give up on you. You can’t ask me to stop fighting for you because I can’t, I won’t.”

“Okay,” Clarke said with a sad smile, but it was quickly wiped away. “I’m sorry Lexa-”

“No. I told you you do not have to apologize to me for anything she makes you do,” Lexa cut her off. Clarke nodded. Would she still mean that when she found out about everything Nia made her do? About who she really was?

It was starting to get dark out so Clarke forced herself up onto her feet and Lexa was by her side in an instant aiding her back to her bed in Nyko’s tent. Clarke laid down and groaned as the strain was taken off of her sore and injured body.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine Lexa. All I need is you,” Clarke said with a shy smile.

Lexa leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. “You have me. For as long as possible.”


	14. Chapter 14

Over the next two days Lexa spent her time in the healers hut with Clarke. Clarke kept sneaking out of the tent to walk around and Lexa was concerned she was making her injuries worse, so she had told Clarke that she wasn’t allowed to leave the tent until Nyko cleared her. Clarke wasn’t thrilled with that, she liked to keep moving. She snuck out whenever she could, but she was mostly stuck on bed rest. Clarke had spent most of her time sleeping, talking with Lexa or some of her friends, or staring at the wall of the tent. In some ways, Clarke appreciated the fact that she didn’t have to do anything, but she had grown so used to being up and moving around, she craved activity. She couldn’t sit still and being trapped in the tent was starting to drive her crazy. 

She enjoyed it when there was someone to talk to. Octavia and Raven always provided a good form of entertainment, and she could never get enough of Lexa, but Lexa wasn’t acting like herself. Clarke understood why. She wanted to be with Lexa more than anything and did not want this bonding ceremony to go through, but everytime she closed her eyes, every time she had a moment with nothing to think about, her mind would conjure up the images from her previous dream. The screaming of her friends still echoed in her mind, the stench of blood and death burned her nose, and the images were too gruesome. She couldn’t let them come to pass, and if she needed to bond with Roan to prevent it, then she would.

Queen Nia had come to check up on her and Roan once. It was clear she didn’t care much about their health, only the fact that they were alive and she could still use them. It was also clear that she was growing impatient for her son to wake up and for Clarke to be cleared to leave the tent, but she had no control over that.

Clarke’s injuries were healing well. She still walked with a limp and it still hurt some when she moved, but the pain was manageable and she wasn’t concerned much with it. Nyko and Abby didn’t seem to be too worried about it either. Lexa was a different story. You would think that with all the injuries that girl had sustained in her lifetime, she wouldn’t be too worried about the injuries that Clarke had, but she was. Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the concerned and caring looks and actions the Commander made to try and help comfort Clarke. It was unnecessary, but it was also adorable and Clarke loved it. 

Her mind drifted off to Lexa as she laid alone in her tent, but she was quickly cut off when she heard groaning from farther inside the tent. She rolled off the bed and moved over to Roan’s bed. He was shifting and groaning and Clarke could see his eyelashes start to flutter. She hobbled to the entrance of the tent and poked her head outside. There was no sign of Nyko or her mother, but there was an Azgeda warrior walking by. She called his attention. “Go find Queen Nia and tell her that her son is awake,” Clarke ordered. The man nodded his head and didn’t argue, and he left to find his Queen.

Clarke made her way back inside and pulled up a seat by Roan’s bed. She reached out and grabbed his hand and he slowly started to wake up. His eyelids opened and he took in Clarke standing over him. “Welcome back,” she said with a relieved smile.

“Are we both dead?” Roan croaked.

Clarke laughed and went to grab him some water. “No we’re not dead,” she replied, returning to his side and handing him a cup which he drank from eagerly.

“Thanks,” he said.

“How are you feeling?” She asked and she took the now empty cup from his hands and set it aside.

Roan winced as he moved so he was sitting up straighter, leaning up against his pillows at the edge of the bed. “Like I was stabbed in the chest.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Yes well, being stabbed in the chest does have that effect.”

Roan tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace as he laid back a little and closed his eyes, “How long have I been out?”

“This is day six. I was out for two and I’ve been waiting for you to wake up since then.”

“The bonding ceremony?”

Clarke swallowed. “It’s in 11 days from now.”

“Have you spoken to anyone? Do you have a plan to stop it from happening?” Roan asked. He wasn’t specifically hoping that she could get them out of this. Sure, he had Nadia, but she would never be accepted as the heir to the throne so he had known for awhile he would never be with her. He had resigned himself to being bonded with someone his mother would force him to be with or not bonding at all. At least Clarke wasn’t the worst person to be bonded with. He did know how Clarke felt about the Commander though, and he knew that she had been working on finding some way to get herself free from Nia’s control. He wanted her to be happy and be free and he would help her in any way that he could.

“No, it’s too much of a risk,” Clarke replied, fighting her own mind from showing her the images of her dream again. “This has clearly been your mother’s plan from the start and I have no way of stopping it. I won’t put more people at risk. Us being bonded isn’t the worst thing that could ever happen. You and I will continue to serve your mother until we take control of Azgeda. Then I can kill Emerson and we can bring the people of Azgeda some peace. Skaikru and everyone I care about will be alive and safe, and that is the most important thing. I will do whatever it takes to protect them.”

“You would sacrifice your own happiness?” he asked even though he already knew that she would.

“A million times if I had to,” Clarke answered honestly. She wanted happiness for herself that was true, but the lives of her old people, her friends, Lexa, all of them were more important to her than her own happiness. She had already sacrificed so much of herself, what was a little more? Besides, she had done some horrible things. Maybe she didn’t deserve happiness anyway.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Roan started, “It will be my honor to be bonded to you and rule beside you, and I believe the people of Azgeda will greatly benefit.”

Clarke looked into his eyes and smiled. It wasn’t the most comforting thing in the world, but it did feel pretty good. “Thanks. Now stop getting sappy on me. You need to rest.”  
Roan grinned. “If I’ve been out for almost six days, my mother is going to want me up.”

“Don’t worry about it. The Commander has ordered that the two of us aren’t allowed to leave here without being cleared by a healer first. Your mother isn’t happy about it, but she doesn’t have a say. Now get some rest,” Clarke told him. Roan nodded and laid flat in his bed, careful not to pull at his injuries, and he fell into unconsciousness.

/////

Clarke was sitting in the healers tent bored out of her mind. Roan was asleep, Lexa was in a Summit meeting, and Clarke was alone. She was spared of her boredom when Raven entered, “Hey Clarke.”

“Thank god, someone to talk to,” Clarke exclaimed, sitting up in her bed. 

“Always ready to entertain,” Raven replied with a smile.

“Raven, I’m so bored. You have to help me get out of here,” Clarke basically begged.

Raven eyed her wearily. She knew the Commander had ordered that Clarke stay in her tent, and her reaction the last time Clarke snuck out was not something she wanted to be on the receiving end of. “I don’t know Clarke. You aren’t healed yet and you aren’t supposed to leave the tent without being cleared.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Come on. Since when have you been a rule follower?”

“Touche,” Raven replied as she helped Clarke roll out of the bed. Clarke brushed her off saying she could walk on her own, but Raven was right by her side just in case. Raven made her way to the tent flaps and peered outside. There was one guard that had been assigned to guard the tent outside, “Hey big guy, Wanheda is really hungry and is starting to get agitated. Would you mind going to get her something?” The guard eyed her wearily, not wanting to leave his post. Raven rolled her eyes, “I’ll be here the whole time. Trust me, you do not want to piss her off, it’s not fun.” The guard hesitated for another moment before nodding and walking off to do as Raven asked. Raven walked back into the tent with a proud smirk, earning an eye roll and a playful shove from the blonde before they made their getaway.

They started walking through the streets of Polis, but it didn’t take long for Clarke to start sweating and panting heavily. “I think we should stop here and rest,” Raven said after seeing Clarke’s condition. Clarke didn’t argue and they found bench in a secluded area of Polis that they could sit on together.

They talked for a little while while Clarke caught her breath and allowed her body to rest some. After some talking, Raven turned more serious, “Clarke look, I want to talk about Nia.”

Clarke sighed, “Raven, there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Clarke you aren’t fighting, you are letting her win, and you aren’t even trying to get yourself out of this,” Raven argued.

“Raven she has been in control of me for two years. I wanted to fight back, I tried, but people ended up dead because of me. I can’t do that again. I have tried to come up with a way to free myself, but so far I don’t have any answers and there isn’t much I can do here in Polis. I can’t leave, and if I don’t go through with this a lot of people are going to get hurt,” Clarke replied. Her voice was growing in anger. It wasn’t really towards Raven, it was more towards her entire situation, but she was a little frustrated that Raven wouldn’t give it up. She had already told everyone that there was nothing to be done and she asked them to leave it alone. There were lives at stake here and no one seemed to recognize that.

“You may not be able to leave Polis, but maybe someone else can. Let us know what is going on, we can help you. I can help you. I get not wanting to tell an entire group of people what’s going on, but Clarke you can trust me. I won’t tell anyone anything and I’m a genius. I can come up with a plan to help you.”

“It’s not that simple,” Clarke argued. “Nia doesn’t trust me. She has at least one spy watching me and I don’t know who it is, I don’t know where they are, I don’t even know if they’re listening to me right now or not. If anything happens and Nia catches wind that I spoke up, it’s game over. I won’t let anyone else die for me, and I won’t risk anyone dying on a mission to try and save me. So what, I have to marry Roan. At least I’ll live, and maybe I can make a difference in Azgeda.” Clarke took a deep breath and calmed herself down some. Raven was only trying to help and Clarke truly appreciated that, but she had already accepted her future and she needed everyone else to accept it as well. “Look, Raven. I know you only want to help me. Thank you for caring, but I need you to drop it. I’m going to do what needs to be done here in Polis. I’m going to return to Azgeda and I’m going to try and find a way to get myself out of Nia’s grasp, and then it’ll be over.”

“But you’ll be married Clarke,” Raven shot back. “These marriage bonds in grounder culture, they don’t break until one of you dies. Clarke you’ll be with someone you don’t love and you’ll be trapped in Azgeda, still under Nia’s control. Even if you free yourself from Nia you will forever be tied into Azgeda. You won’t be able to get away from that. That’s not a life that you deserve, and it’s not one Lexa deserves either.” It was a little bit of a low blow, but Raven needed Clarke to understand what was happening. She needed to convince Clarke to talk, and if she had to bring up Lexa to do it, she would.

“You don’t think I know that!” Clarke yelled. “This is so much more than just me or Lexa. Lives are at stake here Raven. Lives. Don’t you get that? The lives of a whole lot of people are in my hands. I have been responsible for a lot of death on the ground already. It’s changed me, but I am trying to be a good guy here. I don’t want to be responsible for anymore death, and if I have to sacrifice my dating life to do that, then I will.”

The two fell into a heavy silence after that until Raven finally spoke. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. It wasn’t for arguing, it wasn’t for trying to help, it was for everything that Clarke was sacrificing.

Clarke understood and she gave a sad, half smile. “Me too, but I can bare this. I just need you to let me and be by my side. Please.”

Raven felt a couple of tears escape her eyes. How anyone could ever be as strong as Clarke she would never know. She put an arm around the blonde and nodded, “Whatever you need Clarke.”

They stayed together for a while, not speaking, just holding each other, before they decided Clarke should get back in the healers tent before anyone noticed, specifically Lexa. They stood up and made their way to the more busy streets of Polis, when Clarke caught site of a pretty pissed looking Lexa who was searching for something. Or someone. Probably someone who was supposed to be in Nyko’s tent right now. “Raven, you should run,” Clarke warned. Lexa hadn’t noticed them yet, but once she did, Clarke knew she was in for it and didn’t want Raven getting caught up in it. 

Raven’s eyes widened when she saw the look on the Commander’s face. “Yep, I’m gonna go. Stay strong,” Raven whispered and then she took off in the opposite direction as fast as she could with her bad leg.

Clarke took a deep breath preparing to defend herself and she took a step in Lexa’s direction. Their eyes met and Clarke winced at the dangerous look on the brunette’s face. She stormed up to Clarke, everyone on the streets clearing a path for the obviously angry leader. “What are you doing out of the tent?” She asked irritatedly. 

“Lexa I-” Clarke tried to defend herself.

“Let’s go,” Lexa said before Clarke could finish. She started leading Clarke back to Nyko’s tent. Her pace wasn’t fast, but she was walking with a purpose. Everyone on the streets knew not to disturb her and they stepped aside quickly to avoid her rage.

“Lexa wait,” Clarke called and she grabbed the brunette’s arm, stopping her from moving forward. “I’m sorry I left the tent, but it’s so boring in there. Besides I’m fine.”

Lexa looked up and down Clarke’s form. She was breathing heavier than normal and her pale skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat. Lexa narrowed her eyes, “You are not fine. You need to rest.”

Clarke held up both hands placatingly, “Okay fine, I’ll rest, but please don’t make me go back to that tent. Let’s go to one of our rooms. We’ll walk slow, take the elevator up, and then I will get all the rest I need in a real, comfortable bed.”

Lexa knew Clarke was too stubborn to argue with, and at least her request was reasonable. “Fine,” Lexa huffed.

Clarke smiled and the two of them walked slowly back to Polis tower and then rode the elevator up to the top floor. The two of them got off and they passed Lexa’s two guards before entering her room. Clarke immediately walked over to the couch and she plopped down onto it, relieved to take the strain off her body. Lexa rolled her eyes at Clarke’s unwillingness to admit that she was actually in a little bit of pain, and she went to her table to get a glass of water. She brought it back to the couch and handed it to Clarke before taking a seat beside her. “Thanks,” Clarke said and she drank the water quickly. When she finished, she put the cup on a small table beside the bed and she laid back against the couch. She noticed that Lexa was about to say something, likely about her injuries, so to avoid the topic, she spoke, “How was the Summit meeting?”

Lexa narrowed her eyes, knowing that Clarke was deflecting, but she answered anyway. “It did not go as well as I had hoped,” Lexa admitted. “Nia is trying to make me look weak. She is trying to promote her own strength and speaking out against me. I fear that she is starting to gain some support.”

“What are you going to do?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shook her head. “I do not know. I am not sure how much support she has and there is not much I can do. I need to prove to my people that I can protect them, but with two assassins finding their way into Polis who attempted a hit on a Queen and an ambassador, I have not done a good job of that.”

Clarke inwardly cringed. The assassins were all Azgeda’s doing. There was nothing that could be done about the first assassin, and the more pressing assassin, was herself and she couldn’t do anything about that. “You’ll figure it out,” Clarke offered. 

Lexa nodded and watched as Clarke let out a small yawn. “You should rest Clarke.” Clarke nodded her head in agreement, but she needed something first. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss to Lexa’s lips. Lexa returned it eagerly and then started to comb through Clarke’s hair as the blonde curled up into her side. It didn’t take long for Lexa to hear her soft snoring and she wrapped her arms around the sleeping girl, content to stay there until Clarke awoke later.

/////

Clarke had been asleep for a few hours and Lexa was close to dozing off herself when there was a soft knock on the door. She carefully extracted herself from Clarke’s grasp, without waking her, and she opened her door to see Flax on the other side. He had been fast, just like she had ordered and was eager to hear what he had to say. She stepped out of her room and into the hall and led Flax to a different room on the top floor so they could speak privately. She let him enter before her and then she closed the door behind herself, “Well?” She asked. She needed information now. This could be her last shot at helping Clarke, especially if the blonde wasn’t willing to talk. 

“I tried to find any information that I could Heda, but I did not get much. The people of Azgeda don’t have anything to say since they didn’t know they had been training with Wanheda. I tried to spy on some of her higher up advisors, but still got nothing.”

“Do you have anything for me?” Lexa asked. She needed him to stop saying what he didn’t know and give her some good news.

“I looked into the man you asked me to. I could not get much but I did get a name. Emerson,” he revealed.

Lexa felt like time had stopped, her body tensing and her mind trying to process. She recognized that name. He was the bastard who had offered her the deal back at Mount Weather. He was the one who had led her to abandon Clarke and because of that, she had left her people and got captured by Azgeda. This had to be it. This had to be what Clarke had been hiding. “Tell me about him,” Lexa ordered when she finally forced her mind to calm itself.

“He is very well guarded. They are some of Queen Nia’s best warriors and they do not let anyone get close to him. I am sorry Heda, but a name is really all the information that I could get,” he answered.

“Do not be sorry. You have done me a great service. Thank you Flax.”

“Of course Heda. I would do anything for you and for Wanheda as well. I lost my brother to the mountain and she destroyed it. I owe her,” he explained.

“Well you have done us both a service. You have our thanks. Go and rest. I will likely call for your help again soon.” Lexa held out her arm and Flax gripped it tightly before leaving the room. Lexa paced the floor for a few moments as her mind spun. This had to be it. With this knowledge, she could finally get Clarke to talk to her and then she could help her. Lexa wasn’t helpless anymore, and soon, Nia would pay.

Lexa returned to her room and sat down in her chair opposite the couch. Clarke was still asleep, and Lexa didn’t want to wake her up, so she waited. She thought through the many possibilities that could involve Emerson and she waited for Clarke to wake up.

It didn’t take long for Clarke to start to stir. She opened her eyes slowly, which was new. She hadn’t escaped her nightmares, but her body didn’t seem to be reacting as harshly to them anymore. Clarke shifted on the couch and recognized that the warm body that was pressed against her earlier was no longer there. She slowly sat up and looked straight ahead to where Lexa was staring at her, seated in a chair. “What are you doing over there?” Clarke sleepily mumbled.

“Emerson?” Lexa went directly into the issue.

Clarke froze. The word was as effective as a bucket of ice water in waking her up from her exhaustion. How could Lexa possibly know? What the hell was she supposed to do? Clarke wasn’t supposed to talk about this, what if Nia’s spy was listening. She needed to play it off, “What?”

“Emerson, the last mountain man,” Lexa said again.

“What about him?” Clarke continued to play dumb.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know Clarke. He is in Azgeda. He is what Nia is holding over you, isn’t he?”

Clarke’s eyes travelled to the door of Lexa’s room. She didn’t know who the spy was, but if she had to guess, it was someone who had access to this floor, someone who could be outside right now. She did not want to risk talking about Emeron if they could hear. Lexa seemed to understand though, “Do not worry Clarke. You and I are alone in here, and no one can hear through that door. You are safe. You can tell me.”

Clarke swallowed thickly and ran a hand through her hair. She had been trapped in Azgeda for two years, and now Lexa was going to find out why. “Yes, he is what Nia is using over me.”

“How?”

Clarke sighed. This was it. “There is a missile that is still active in Mount Weather. He has the code to launch it. Nia said that if I disobey her, she will launch it at Arkadia,” Clarke informed. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, but she actually felt a little relieved to put it out there. There were only a few people out there who knew of Emerson and none of them were going to do anything about it. Now Lexa knew, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to ignore the problem he posed.

Lexa felt a deep pain in her chest. Clarke was too good for this world. She had sacrificed herself for her people again. She knew she was right about Clarke being a strong leader. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You know why Lexa. I can’t risk Skaikru. I won’t let any more die because of me,” Clarke whispered, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

Lexa jumped up from her seat and moved to sit beside Clarke. She wrapped the blonde in a tight embrace and began to rock back and forth. “You are the strongest person I have ever met,” Lexa whispered into her ear. “You're not alone anymore. We are going to stop him. Eliminate the threat, eliminate the hold over you, and end this bonding ceremony and Nia with it.”

“There is nothing that can be done Lexa. He is too heavily guarded and neither you nor I would be able to leave Polis during the Summit. Even if we did come up with some plan, if Nia finds out, or it fails, Arkadia will be destroyed and everyone will die,” Clarke replied.

Lexa let go of Clarke and cupped her cheeks, “I will not let this stand Clarke. We will get help. We will come up with a solid plan. I cannot ignore this.”

Clarke was terrified, but now Lexa knew. There was no way she would be able to stop her from going after Emerson, so she nodded her head. Lexa kissed Clarke on the top of the head and stood from the couch. She walked to her guards outside and told them to gather those that she trusted and have them meet in her throne room, and she told him to make sure it was done as secretive as possible. When the guard left, she returned to the couch. Clarke was staring at the ground and she seemed unfocused, lost in her own mind, which she was. Clarke couldn’t get the images of her nightmare out of her head. If this failed, those images would become a reality and Clarke was terrified.

Lexa sensed her fear and wrapped the blonde in a protective hold. She knew the dangers of the information she now held and knew that there was no room for mistakes. This had to be done carefully or it would literally blow up in their face. Lexa gave Clarke some time to calm down before they made their way to her throne room. She spoke with Argus and Rosco and they informed her that everyone was gathered. Luckily for her, it was late out, so there weren’t many people who could have seen the group gather.

Lexa and Clarke entered the throne room to see Titus, Indra, Luna, Lincoln, Bellamy, Abby, Octavia, Kane, and Raven. They were all wearing dark colored cloaks which would have helped them enter the tower secretly. “Thank you all for coming,” Lexa said. They all nodded, but it was clear they were all desperate to know why they had been summoned. “It is time we wake the fight to Nia, and we start by helping Clarke.”

Clarke looked into the questioning eyes of all of her friends and told them what they needed to know. Emerson was alive and he had the codes for the missile that he was threatening to launch at Arkadia. “That’s why you wanted me to work on disabling it,” Raven realized.

“Yeah. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you, but I couldn’t take that risk. Have you gotten anywhere with it?” Clarke asked.

“Not really. Monty and I have been working on it, in fact he is working on it right now, but the Mountain Men did a good job with it. We haven’t been able to crack into its system yet. I did learn something else that could help though. I didn’t think it was necessary, but now it could be a good back-up plan. The mountain has a self destruct system. I don’t have the codes to start that up either, but honestly, it might be easier to crack,” Raven said.

“Can you look into it?” Clarke requested.

“Of course,” Raven agreed.

“Why don’t we just clear out Arkadia?” Abby suggested.

“That wouldn’t work,” Clarke was quick to shut down. “If we do that, Nia will know something is up, plus they’ll just change the target. She could threaten Polis and end even more lives. I can’t let that happen.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Well I don't have much of a plan. I was hoping that while I was here. Raven could disable the missile and I wouldn’t have to worry about it. If she couldn’t, I was going to wait to return to Azgeda and find a way to take Emerson out myself. I wasn’t really expecting the bonding,” Clarke replied.

“Why didn’t you try to take him out before?” Luna asked.

“I did, but he is too heavily guarded for me to get to him. Plus at the time, I wasn’t as skilled as I am now. After Dax was killed, I stopped fighting Nia, stopped trying to escape, and just did what I had to. I was hoping when I returned it would be different.”

“Well we need to get you out of this situation before your bonding. It sounds like we have two options. Disable the missile completely, or take out the only guy who knows how to launch it. It sounds like we aren’t really getting anywhere with disabling it, so I vote we go after Emerson,” Octavia spoke up.

“We would need Emerson to be brought here alive,” Lexa informed.

The group looked at her confused. “Why?” Octavia asked.

“No one will believe that Queen Nia is working with someone from the mountain. I would need him here as proof so I could go after her and end her foul reign once and for all,” Lexa explained.

“Wouldn’t it be dangerous to bring him here alive?” Raven asked.

“Yes, but we will keep him a secret for as long as possible and I will keep him isolated. He won’t be able to tell anyone what he knows about the missile that way,” Lexa said.  
“How will you be able to prove to the coalition that he was working for Nia?” Kane asked.

“I will make him talk,” Lexa growled. “His confession does not need to be heard by the entire coalition, just a few people that everyone will trust. They can spread the word that Emerson and Nia were working together and I can kill him before he gives her or anyone else the codes to launch the missile.”

“Okay, so we capture him, bring him here, keep him isolated, make him confess about working with Nia in front of a group of trustworthy people, kill him, and then kill the Queen for treason?” Raven summed up. Lexa nodded and Raven huffed out a sarcastic laugh, “Sounds easy enough.” 

“I don’t know guys,” Clarke spoke for the first time while making the plan. “Capturing him would be really difficult. Most of us here can’t leave Polis during the Summit, and if anyone important goes missing, Nia will likely question it. We need a solid plan, where none of us could get caught or create suspicion and we don’t have a lot of time before my bonding. I just don’t know if it’s possible.”

“Well we are not giving up,” Lexa was quick to jump in. “Tell me everything you know about Emerson and his guards.” Clarke told the group everything she could. She told them how many guards he had on him, how they rotated out, what kind of schedule Emerson usually kept, everything she could think of. The group was quick to give their own input and they actually seemed to come up with a pretty strong plan. Once they had their ideas, it came down to who was going. 

Octavia was quick to volunteer and Bellamy and Lincoln weren’t far behind her. The problem with that was, all three of them were involved in the Summit meetings. “What if we use the old family emergency excuse?” Raven piped up. Everyone turned to her waiting for her to elaborate. “On the Ark, I was such a genius, school was too easy and super boring. With my mom being a drunk, I used to use the family emergency excuse to get out of having to go. Bellamy and Octavia are a family and Lincoln is pretty much a part of their family. Why not use that excuse?”

The group seemed to consider it and Lincoln couldn’t help but beam at being called a part of Octavia’s family. “The only problem with that, is O and I don’t have any more family.”  
“Yeah, but the only people who know that are in this room right now,” Raven answered. 

Bellamy nodded his head at her logic and turned to the Commander. “Would it work?”

Lexa considered. “Yes, in major circumstances I would be able to allow it.” Lexa finally answered.

“I would like to go as well Heda,” Indra added. “I could lead the team.”

“Your presence would surely be missed,” Lexa added.

“Yes, but Octavia is my second. I would be allowed to accompany her during this emergency,” Indra said.

Lexa agreed. “I will supply you with ten of my most trusted men, but I still want you to keep an eye on them just in case. There is a spy in Polis and I do not know who it is, but I fear they are close to me. I have no reason to suspect anyone at this time, but this mission is too important to not consider spys.”

“I will see to it Heda,” Indra replied.

“Ok so this is our plan, but if you guys aren’t back here in 10 days, the bonding ceremony is happening. Remember none of you can say a word outside of this room. Travel fast and be safe,” Clarke said. With that, the group dispersed to prepare themselves or gather the small group of warriors that would be leaving. Clarke could feel her own nerves radiating through her body. They had a decent plan, but it was risky still and if anything went wrong a lot of people would die. She needed this to work. 

Indra kept her team together throughout most of the night going over their plan, while everyone else made their way to their beds to rest. Tomorrow morning, the group would leave.

/////

Clarke and Lexa awoke before dawn, after only a few hours of rest, wrapped around each other and spent a few minutes together before they made their way downstairs to the gates of Polis. Indra, Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and the ten men that Lexa had selected, a group of her most trusted guards, including the ones that usually guarded her, were all there. Clarke hugged them all goodbye, thanked them for helping and wished them luck. Lexa and Clarke stood side by side and watched as the group rode out. Clarke was nervous and Lexa could tell. “Everything will be alright,” she tried to comfort.

“If this doesn’t work-” Clarke started.

“It will. Indra has never failed me and she has ten of Polis’ finest warriors and your friends with her. This will work Clarke,” Lexa said. She knew there was a lot to this plan, and she didn’t like the fact that she couldn’t carry it out herself, but she trusted Indra. They had a plan and Lexa felt good about it, and no matter what she wouldn’t let anything happen to Clarke. Once Emerson was brought back here, she would free Clarke and then she would make the Queen pay.

“It better. I need to go train,” Clarke said.

Lexa turned and gave the blonde a stern look, “You are not healed yet.”

“I’m fine,” Clarke brushed off her concern. She needed to do something, she was tired of sitting still. The look never left Lexa’s face and Clarke sighed, “Look, I won’t fight anyone. I’ll grab a bow and take some target practice. I haven’t done it in a while and I could the practice.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “I didn’t know you were good with a bow.”

“I’m good with just about every weapon,” Clarke said. She wasn’t bragging, it was true. She had learned how to use each and every weapon that Nia had handed her. Her best weapons were the sword and throwing knives, but she was efficient with just about everything.

Lexa nodded and followed behind Clarke as they made their way to the training ground. It was still early out, and no one was up training. Lexa watched as Clarke walked into the designated archery area and she selected a bow. She watched, mesmerized, as Clarke hit each and every target with deadly accuracy. Clarke just kept on impressing her. 

They had been out there for a while when Clarke’s energy started to drain. She was sweating, her movements were slower, and she was starting to read the pain on Clarke’s face. Lexa was just about to approach her and tell her to rest, when Queen Nia appeared. She walked over to Clarke, ignoring everyone and everything along her path. She watched as Nia stopped the blonde and pulled her away to have a conversation, but she was too far away to hear.

“Clarke,” Nia called as she approached.

Clarke immediately froze and turned to face the Queen. “My Queen,” she said.

“It is good to see you have returned to training,” Nia said.

“Yes, but I was told to go slow and avoid contact for a while still.”

Nia nodded. “And my son?”

“He is still resting. His injuries were much more severe than mine.” 

“You stayed in the Commander’s bed last night?” Nia asked, changing subjects.

Clarke nodded, “I did, my Queen.” Clarke knew better than to lie. Nia's spy had likely already told Nia that she did. This was probably some test to see if she'd lie.

Nia smirked. “You have done well. You have her trust, likely her heart. I didn’t think she would ever give it out again, but you seem to be her weakness. I do not want you to speak with her anymore. I do not want you to see her anymore. You are to be bonded to my son and you need to look the part. I want you with him at all times, and the only time you are to see the Commander is during Summit meetings.”

Clarke swallowed, “Of course my Queen. Whatever you wish.”

Nia’s smirk was still firmly in place. “Good, now go and find him.” Clarke nodded and left the training grounds to head to Nyko’s tent. She was not pleased with her new orders, but she was used to that. Indra and her team had already left, and based off that conversation, Nia didn’t seem to know anything about their departure. Clarke took a calming breath. Now it was a waiting game. She held onto Lexa’s words. Indra and everyone would be successful and she would be free. A little more than a week. She could do that. Without Lexa, it would be tough, but when they were successful she would be back by Lexa’s side. Just a few days. Clarke could handle that.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! I hope you guys like this one. I've never written anything like this so hopefully I did a good job with it. I have plans to make this story pretty long so I hope you all are okay with that. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing all your thoughts and ideas. Enjoy!

Indra and her team made it into Azgeda territory after a few days of travel and a little after that, they reached the outskirts of Saipan. It took them a little longer than they planned to get there, so they needed to move fast. They had a general idea of Emerson's schedule and what was going on in Saipan thanks to Clarke, but Indra wanted scouts to make scope out the area and confirm what they already knew or give an update on what they didn’t.

She decided to send six of the warriors Heda had provided her to scout out the area. She knew that Lexa had asked her to keep a close eye on everyone, so she decided to send Flax, Rosco, and Argus to lead the search. Flax already knew the area, and Rosco and Argus were Heda’s guards and they were both highly regarded and respected warriors and loyal to Triku and to Lexa. The scouts made their way into Saipan while Indra and the rest of her team set up camp in the woods right outside Saipan’s borders.

Indra brought the ones she trusted most, Bellamy, Octavia, and Lincoln into her tent to discuss their plans further. When they finished, they were pretty confident that they their plan would succeed, barring any new information one of the scouts could bring back. They waited for a while, and it started to grow dark out. The scouts hadn’t returned yet, so all they could do was sit and wait.

Bellamy left Indra’s tent on his own, Lincoln and Octavia wanted to stay and speak more with Indra. He was so close to getting Clarke out of the situation she was in, and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on Emerson. He was starting to get jumpy from the anticipation so he decided to venture away from the small, makeshift camp for some fresh air.

He didn’t go far, but it was far enough away for the person who had been spying on the camp to drop down from the trees and tackle him to the ground. Bellamy fell flat on his stomach, but he managed to use his stronger build and strength to shake his attacker off and spin onto his back. His attacker prepared to lunge at him again, but Bellamy reached to the holster at his side and held up a pistol. The attacker stopped in their tracks and Bellamy was finally able to get a look at them.

The body was clearly female. A mask was covering the lower part of her face, but her eyes were visible, and there was something about her that Bellamy recognized. The woman slowly raised her hands to show that she wasn’t a threat and moved to take off the mask at the same time that Bellamy’s mind was able to place the woman. “Echo?”

She removed the mask from her face and lowered her arms. “Bellamy?” She seemed just as surprised as he was.

“What are you doing out here? Why did you attack me?” He asked. He returned to his feet and lowered his gun, but still kept it in his hand just in case.

“I recognized your small camp as Trikru. I wanted to know what Trikru warriors were doing stationed outside of Azgeda’s capitol,” Echo explained.

Bellamy seemed flustered. He knew Echo was Azgeda and he couldn’t tell her what they were doing, but he had to tell her something. “Um..” he struggled to find an excuse.

“You can trust me Bellamy. I owe you a lot for saving me.”

Bellamy’s eyes narrowed. “You’re Azgeda.”

Echo nodded. “I am, but that does not mean I support the Queen. The people of Azgeda are suffering. She is cold and ruthless and if you are here to help end her reign, I would like to offer my assistance.”

Bellamy considered the offer. “This mission is kind of case sensitive. Come with me. Speak with Indra and we’ll see what she has to say.”

Echo agreed and Bellamy led her back to their camp and into Indra’s tent. Indra recognized the scars of Azgeda on the Echo’s face as soon as she entered the tent and before anyone could react, there was a sword to her throat. “Indra, this is Echo,” he tried to placate the situation. “I saved her in the mountain. She owes me and she wants to help.”

Indra’s eyes narrowed, but she lowered her sword. She spent a few moments questioning Echo and seemed to be satisfied with her answers. Of course, the girl couldn’t be trusted with too much information, but if she really was on their side, she would be a big help. Indra decided to keep her around to keep an eye on her and get her to provide information, but she wouldn’t be told what their plan was or why they were there. “Rosco, Argus and the others have yet to return with their report,” Indra informed Bellamy after he asked if there was any news.

Bellamy was about to reply, but Echo did before he could. “Rosco? Big guy, darker skin, clean shaven, long dark brown hair, and a tattoo down the middle of his face?”

“How do you know all of that?” Bellamy questioned.

“You need to change your plan, now,” Echo warned them.

Indra’s brow creased and she looked ready to argue, but Echo continued, “I’ve seen him before. I just described him to you, so we’re talking about the same person. He’s been to Azgeda and he is working with Queen Nia.”

Indra stalked towards her, angered by the accusations, but Octavia grabbed her arm and held her back. “How do you know this?” Octavia asked.

“Look, I already told you I do not support the Queen. Before I was captured by the mountain, I was a spy. I would sneak into places and get information for Queen Nia. After being freed from the mountain, she wanted to use me again. I didn’t want to help her, but she would kill me if I didn’t and I figured I could use the job as an opportunity to get close to her. I tried spying on her, when I had an opportunity, to find some sort of leverage, some piece of information that I could use to get her out of power. She is paranoid and well guarded, so I was not able to get much, but I did overhear a conversation she once had with a man named Rosco. He looked how I described. I decided to listen to the conversation because he looked to be Trikru and I wondered why he was there. I don’t remember much, but he delivered her some information about the Commander and Wanheda during the time of the mountain and then he left to return to Polis,” Echo explained.

“And I am supposed to trust the word of an Azgeda spy over the Trikru guard of Heda?” Indra snarled.

“Believe what you want, but I am telling you the truth,” Echo shot back. “Rosco is loyal to Queen Nia and whatever you are here for, he will be the reason you fail if you don’t listen to me.”

“I think we should listen to her,” Bellamy said. “I believe her.”

Indra whipped her head in his direction to glare at him, and Octavia stood forward. “Indra, I understand why you don’t trust her, I don’t either, but this mission is too important. If she is telling the truth, then we need to move now. We need to change our plan and get what we are here for before Rosco can ruin it. If she is lying, then we will deal with it, but we can’t risk her being right.”

Indra acquiesced with a huff. “Fine. We will move into the city, find our scouts and hear their reports. I want eyes on her at all times.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” Bellamy supplied and Indra agreed.

Indra nodded. “Alright then, let’s go.”

/////

Indra led her team into Saipan. They used the cover of night to assist in hiding, and the guards on duty were not paying close attention, so they were easily able to slip in to Saipan without question.

Bellamy was keeping an eye on Echo as promised, and the rest of the group were keeping an eye out for their scouts. They made their way to the area of Saipan that Clarke had told them they would find Emerson. The area was not off limits to the public, but it was heavily guarded, so a lot of the citizens of Saipan stayed away. Indra and her team stayed hidden as best they could, moving in the shadows and through alley ways to avoid confrontation. Trikru may be a part of the coalition, but those in Nia’s army were not very accepting of any them.

They were moving towards one of the larger buildings on the very edge of Saipan. This was the building that Clarke had informed them was Emerson’s home, but it was very heavily guarded and would likely be difficult to infiltrate. They continued to move towards the building, continuing to look for their scouts. They were moving through a dark alley when Octavia’s eyes widened. “Indra, over here,” she whispered and she ran deeper into the alley and crouched down. Indra arrived behind her second and found Argus unconscious and bleeding heavily from a leg wound. Flax was bent over him applying pressure to the wound, but he didn’t look good himself. 

“What happened?” Indra asked the injured scout.

“Rosco, the damn natrona. He attacked us. Killed all of the others. Argus and I got away, but he passed out here from his wounds,” Flax informed.

Indra growled her rage. Rosco was Trikru, had been someone she had grown up with and considered a loyal warrior, maybe even a friend. The Trikru respected him and he was Heda’s personal guard. How had he achieved such an honor without being found out as a spy? Indra was furious. “I told you,” Echo said, earning a murderous glare from the Trikru General.

“Macks, Rey, Shima, help Argus and Flax. Get them to a healer. The rest of you come with me. We must get to the last Maunon now before that natrona can foil our plans,” Indra ordered. The three warriors got to their injured companions sides and began to tend to the wounds before helping them up to get to a healer, and Indra and the remainder of her team made their way to the building Emerson would be in.

They made their way further into Saipan when they found the bodies. The three other scouts that were sent along with Flax, Rosco, and Argus were all dead in an alley, their throats slit. “Damn natrona,” Octavia grumbled.

“Yu gonplei ste odon,” Indra whispered, closing the eyes of each of her fallen warriors.

“What do we do now?” Bellamy asked.

“We do what we came here for,” Indra replied solemnly.

They continued walking until they came up to the building they needed to infiltrate and crouched down behind some supply crates a good distance away. There were two guards posted outside the building’s entrance and a lot more guards were walking around outside the building. “We need to wait until the area’s clear,” Lincoln whispered.

“Sha,” Echo agreed. She reached for the bow on her back, “I’ll take left.”

Indra huffed but didn’t argue and she watched as Echo and Lincoln both nocked an arrow on their bows and took aim. “On my mark.” The two archers nodded and waited for Indra’s signal. Indra waited patiently for her moment, and it soon came, when the area cleared of Ice Nation warriors. She made flicking motion with her wrist and watched as two arrows soared through the air and embedded themselves in the two guards at their post.

Once the two guards were out, Indra popped up from her crouched position and the rest followed behind her. They entered the building carefully, pulling the two bodies in with them to avoid drawing unwanted attention. Sure, at some point it would be noticed that there were no guards outside, but hopefully it wouldn’t be realized until they had already done what they had come to do.

“We need to move quickly,” Indra started once everyone was inside. “Rosco has likely already warned them of our arrival. Be ready for anything.” She pulled her sword from its scabbard and made her way down the first hallway. They entered the first door they came to and inside were two warriors with their backs to them. Indra and Octavia slowly crept up from behind the two unsuspecting warriors, and they attacked simultaneously, taking out the two warriors silently. “Keep moving,” Indra said.

They moved farther into the building and continued to silently take out their enemies until they came up to a door that was cracked open. Octavia prepared to storm through, but Indra grabbed her arm and held her back. She shook her head and brought a finger to her lips. Octavia froze and stared at her mentor in confusion, until she heard the faint sound of voices from inside the door.

“The Trikru will be here any moment. You need to get him out of here.” The voice of none other than Rosco said.

“They aren’t good enough to get in here and get to him. You worry too much Rosco,” another voice said from inside the room.

“Lexa kom Trikru sent some of her best warriors. I took care of some but not all. Do not underestimate them.” Indra heard, sneering at the informal use of the Commander's name.

A sigh, “Fine. Arlo, go and gather more warriors. Post them on any entrance in the building and warn the guards outside. Tell them to keep their eyes open. No one is to enter this building unless they are cleared by me.”

A grunt of understanding, from who Indra assumed was Arlo, was heard and she heard footsteps start to near the door. Octavia and Bellamy both tensed and looked ready to pounce, as the footprints approached them, but Indra held her hand out to calm them. Indra waited as the footsteps grew louder and a shadow appeared from under the door. The door started to open further and that was when Indra struck. She broke the door in and sent Arlo flying backwards on impact. Octavia and the others entered the room behind their leader.

They expected to find three warriors inside the room, unfortunately for them, the room was bigger than they expected and there were more warriors inside who had been silent during the conversation they had overheard. Everyone in the room was frozen for a moment as they took in the scene before everything descended into chaos.

The Ice Nation warriors charged at the intruders and Indra and her team fought back. Indra took out one of the Azgeda warriors when she noticed a small group of men running to another door in the room to flee instead of fight. One of the men that was running turned around, showing his face, and Octavia recognized him immediately, “That’s Emerson,” she called out.

She raced after him, and was so distracted with trying to catch up to him, she didn’t notice the attacker coming up behind her. Lincoln had just taken out one of his attackers and his eyes widened when he saw the man approaching his loves back. “Octavia!” He called out and he took two large steps before throwing himself at her, pushing her out of harm's way. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t able to avoid the blade and it pierced his side.

Octavia’s eyes widened, but she gathered herself and took out the man that had just stabbed her love. “Lincoln!” She said, kneeling down by his side, worry plainly written on her face. 

She ripped a part of his shirt off and applied pressure to his wound. “Octavia,” he said, his voice pained. “I’m fine. Go after Emerson.”

Octavia’s head snapped up to the door Emerson had escaped from and then back to Lincoln on the ground. She was clearly conflicted. Luckily for her, Bellamy came up and crouched down on Lincoln’s other side. “I got this O. Go!”

Octavia looked around the room and saw Indra, Fiya, and Echo taking out the last remaining warriors in the room. She looked back at her brother who had replaced her hold on the makeshift bandages on Lincoln’s side, so she hopped up to her feet and made a beeline for the door. Her momentum sent her crashing out of the room and her shoulder collided with the wall, but she pushed herself off of it and sprinted down the hall.

She followed the path that the retreating Emerson and his few guards had made and she came up to one closed door. She burst into the room, but it was empty. She scanned the room for another door, but saw none. Then she saw the window to her right. She raced to the window and looked outside where Emerson and a few of his guards had mounted horses and were racing out of the back side of Saipan. It made sense why Nia chose this location to keep Emerson in. It was close to an exit in case he ever needed to make a quick escape. “Fuck,” Octavia cursed as she watched them ride away. She felt someone come up from behind her and turned to see Indra, “We failed.” Octavia knew what this meant. Nia was going to find out and she was not only going to punish one of her best friends, but she was going to launch a missile and kill hundreds if not thousands. Clarke had done everything in her power to prevent that from happening, she had sacrificed so much, and they had all talked her into letting this mission happen. They promised her they would succeed and free her from Nia’s control and the blonde had agreed, she had placed her faith in them, and they failed.

“We must go,” Indra said, snapping Octavia out of her thoughts.

They made their way back to the other room and Octavia ran to Lincoln’s side. Bellamy was crouched down on Lincoln’s other side, and Echo was beside him. Bellamy’s brows furrowed when Indra and Octavia returned empty handed. “Where is Emerson?”

“He got away,” Octavia said, defeated. Lincoln tried to sit up and winced. Octavia pushed him back down, “Hey don’t move.”

Lincoln ignored her warning and sat up. “You must go. Get back to Polis and warn Clarke and the Commander.”

Octavia looked ready to argue, but Indra spoke up. “He is right Octavia. We need to get to the Commander and warn her. It is likely that Rosco sent someone to Polis to inform Queen Nia of what has happened here. We must hurry and get to Polis before that rider can.”

“Lincoln is in no condition to travel,” Octavia brought up.

“No. That’s why I’m not going,” Lincoln said.

“What?”

“O, go. I’ll stay here and help him,” Bellamy said and Echo nodded from where she was beside him.

Indra prevented Octavia from arguing again, “Good. Go to a healer find the others. Then get out of Saipan. Word will spread of what happened here quickly. You must get away. Take what medicine you can get and return to Polis as quickly as possible. Octavia, let’s go.”

Indra made her way to leave and Octavia hesitated before meeting Bellamy’s nod, “We’ll be fine. Go.”

Octavia nodded at her brother before leaning down and placing a quick kiss to Lincoln’s lips, “Ai hod yu in.”

“I love you too,” Lincoln replied lovingly. “Now go.” Octavia nodded and got to her feet and followed her first out the door. They made their way out of Saipan and climbed onto their horses. Once they were settled they raced back to Polis to warn their Commander that they had failed. Clarke and Arkadia weren’t safe.

/////

The past week and a half passed by at an agonizingly slow rate for Clarke. She had been forced to stay away from the Commander and was only allowed to spend time with Roan. He wasn’t the worst company of course, but she missed Lexa.

Both Clarke and Roan had been cleared to leave Nyko’s tent a few days ago and they returned quickly to their normal schedules. They both returned to accompanying Nia and Cyrus in the Summit meetings. Nia had made sure to rub their victory, their quick recovery, and their strength and skill in the faces of everyone as often as she could. It was really getting on Clarke’s nerves but as usual there was nothing she could do about it.

Since she wasn’t allowed to do anything on her own, Clarke and Roan were together always. They were either in their room, which Nia had now forced them to share, eating, or training. Their training wasn’t up to their usual pace yet, but Clarke was close and Roan was getting there. When they weren’t doing much of anything, Clarke would usually panic. Her friends were in Azgeda right now (hopefully) and any number of things could go wrong. One slip up and not only would they likely be hurt, but when Nia found out Clarke would be tortured and she would likely use Emerson or just kill more innocent people. Roan knew what was going on and he tried to comfort her, but he never really had much success.

It was currently early morning and Clarke was awake and she was sketching. She didn’t do it often, but she was bored and it helped to calm her mind. Her friends were supposed to be back by now and they weren’t which meant it was too late.

Roan was currently asleep on the couch of their room. The two of them had been alternating between who slept on the bed every day as a compromise. Roan had offered to sleep on the couch full time, but Clarke wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep and they both needed rest and didn’t need to always be uncomfortably stiff.

The nights in their joined room were not the best for Clarke. Ever since arriving in Polis and being with Lexa, her nightmares, while never truly stopping, had calmed some, but they still happened. Her reactions to them usually weren’t as violent anymore but now that she was alone in her bed, they were. Roan always tried to comfort her. He was nowhere near as successful as Lexa had been, but he had helped and Clarke appreciated that.

She always woke early and would sketch or stand out on the balcony or just stare blankly at the ceiling since she wasn’t allowed to leave the room on her own. This time was usually when her fear for her friends was the worst, but she was handling it. Roan usually woke up soon after she did anyway. He had nightmares often as well and his body was just accustomed to early mornings. He would usually wake a little while after she did and they would talk or leave and go train, and this morning was no different.

Roan stirred from his place on the couch and within a few minutes he sat up from his position and stretched. He could hear the muscles in his neck and back crack, but it was relieving. Clarke looked up from her sketch and smiled at him and he returned the gesture. He got up and walked into the bathroom and then returned to take a seat on the couch, across from where she was sitting in her chair. “Your friends were supposed to be back by now,” he said.

Clarke closed her sketchbook and nodded sadly. “I know. They’re too late.” The bonding ceremony was tomorrow and Clarke knew she would be spending most of the day preparing for it. She had told her friends they needed to be back yesterday or she would be going through with the bonding, and since they weren’t back that was what she was going to do.

“I’m sorry,” Roan said sincerely. Clarke nodded and looked down at the ground dejectedly. She knew that the likelihood of their success was slim, but she had hoped, and it hurt to lose that hope. “You should go see her.” Clarke looked up to meet his eyes and Roan continued. “I can cover for you for a while. You won’t be needed until later in the day. Go and say goodbye.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said with unshed tears in her eyes. Roan nodded and he watch her get up. She knew that Nia would have guards posted in the hall, so she wouldn’t be able to leave that way, so she decided to climb the tower up a few floors to Lexa’s room.

It wasn’t a difficult climb. She didn’t have to go up too many floors and she was used to maneuvering around in dangerous places thanks to her assassin training. It didn’t take her long to pull herself up onto the balcony of Lexa’s room. She entered the room, nervous but also relieved to see the brunette, but she found the room empty, so she decided to wait for the Commander to return, hoping she would before Clarke would have to return back to her own room.

Thankfully for Clarke, she didn’t have to wait long before the door to the room opened and Lexa entered. She looked tired and her shoulders were heavy, not tall and proud like they usually were.

Clarke moved to step into Lexa’s line of site, but it wasn’t the smartest move. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the fact that she had been hidden in the shadows and that the Commander would not take to kindly to an unexpected guest in her room. 

Lexa saw the silhouette of a body moving towards her and she acted on instinct, reaching to a knife she had hidden on her arm and launching it at her intruder and then she started to charge forward.

Clarke saw the glint of metal flying through the air and she reached up and caught the blade of the knife between her finger and thumb, “Woah Lexa, it’s me.”

Lexa stopped as she recognized the voice and her rigid body relaxed. “Clarke, what are you doing here? I could have killed you.”

Clarke chuckled, “It’ll take a lot more than a small little knife to kill me.”

Before Clarke could say anymore, Lexa’s body was pressed up against hers, their lips connected, and the knife she was holding clattered to the floor. “I missed you,” Lexa admitted when they separated.

“I missed you too.”

“How did you get in here?” Lexa asked.

“I climbed the tower from my room,” Clarke explained.

Lexa’s eyes widened slightly, “Clarke, you are in no condition to do that.”

“Lexa, I’m fine,” Clarke reassured. “I needed to see you.” She swallowed thickly. This was it. This would be her last chance to truly be with Lexa before she was bonded with Roan. “They’re not back. It’s over.”

“There’s still today. It’s early, they could still return successful,” Lexa argued.

Clarke tilted her head slightly and looked at her sadly. “Lexa, it’s too late.”

Lexa took a step back from Clarke and shook her head, “No. I won’t let this happen, I can’t.”

“There is nothing you can do,” Clarke said, taking a step closer to the distressed brunette. She reached up and cupped her cheeks and directed her face so they were making eye contact.

“I can kill Nia,” Lexa offered.

Clarke smiled sadly. “No you can’t. If she dies, Nia’s allies will suspect you. If they find proof, then you’ll be killed for breaking your own rules, for committing treason.”

“I don’t care,” Lexa said. She was getting frustrated now. “I can’t let this happen.”

“You can and you will,” Clarke replied. She sighed, “Look, Roan isn’t a bad guy. There are no feelings there, but he’s a friend and I can find a way to be happy. And you, you are the most incredible woman I have ever met. You deserve the world, and there will be someone out there who can give it to you. Someone who will make you happy.” It physically pained Clarke to say it, but she needed to accept it and she needed Lexa to accept it as well.

Lexa just stared at Clarke like she had said the most offensive thing in the world. “There is no one out there that I want to be with. I don’t want anyone else,” Lexa yelled, her body shaking. “I want you,” she admitted in a whisper.

“But you can’t have me,” Clarke said in a broken whisper.

“No, you can’t give up Clarke. I won’t let you. We will find a way to stop this.”

“Do you think that I want this to happen?” Clarke said, her voice raising an octave. She wasn’t mad at Lexa, she was mad at the situation and her voice was showing it. “I have suffered from Nia’s torture and torment for two years. I was beaten and broken down, but I accepted it, to protect my people. Now she is not only tormenting me, but the woman I love too,” Clarke said.

After that time froze. Clarke didn’t mean for that to slip. It was true, she had realized her feelings a while ago, but she didn’t plan on saying it. It wasn’t fair to admit her love and then less than twenty four hours later get married to someone else. She never wanted to add that pain onto Lexa, but she was so frustrated and so broken and it just slipped.

Clarke stared, shocked, into Lexa’s wide eyes and then started to ramble. “I didn’t mean to… I mean I meant it, but it’s not fair… I just… It slipped-”

Clarke’s rambling was cut off by the press of Lexa’s lips against hers. It was hungry and passionate and Clarke melted into it. “I love you too,” Lexa whispered when she pulled away, only to reattach her lips a second later. 

They kissed hungrily for a few minutes before Clarke broke away. “I know it’s not fair of me to ask, but please Lexa, I want to be with you. Just once, before I can’t anymore.”

Lexa reached up and swiped a few tears away from Clarke’s cheeks, before crashing her lips back into Clarke. She reached up and rolled Clarke’s jacket off her shoulders while taking a few steps forward and guiding Clarke to her bed. The back of Clarke’s knees hit the wooden frame and she dropped down onto the furs, Lexa climbing on top of her.

Clarke's fingers found their way to Lexa's hair, tangling themselves around the long loose strands, careful of the tight braids woven along the top of her head. Their lips danced together, faces tilting so that they could deepen the kiss ever farther. Noses bumped and brushed against cheeks, fingers held firm to whatever was in their grip, and eyes closed and remained closed, allowing their other senses to take over in the moment.

Lexa reached down to the hem of Clarke’s shirt and slowly pulled it up and over her head. They had to disconnect their lips to remove the piece of clothing, but once it was gone Lexa’s lips returned. Clarke let out a loud moan as Lexa’s tongue swiped across her bottom lip and then thrust into her hot mouth. “I love you,” Lexa whispered, trailing kisses down from Clarke’s lips to her collarbone, nipping and sucking on the pale flesh along the way.

Clarke groaned at the touch and allowed Lexa to continue the assault on her neck. After Lexa spent a fair amount of time on her collarbone, she slowly trailed down Clarke’s body until she came up to Clarke’s breast band. She looked up into shining blue eyes and received a nod and then she was removing the fabric. Once it was gone, Lexa licked her lips at the beautiful sight before her. “Meizen,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke blushed at the compliment before she sat up and pulled Lexa’s lips onto hers. Her lips pressed into Lexa’s while her hands reached down Lexa’s body and removed her shirt and then her breast band followed too. Clarke stared at the beautiful, toned body before her in awe, before she was pushed back down onto the bed.

Lexa’s lips returned to her body and she pressed them gently against each and every scar that there was on the gorgeous woman beneath her. She left trails of kisses along each one or ran her tongue along the damaged flesh, giving each one her full undivided love and attention. Clarke felt tears in her eyes at the gesture and she couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her lips. Lexa continued to kiss and lick across Clarke’s body before she finally made it to Clarke’s breasts. Her lips close around the blonde’s pebbled nipple, gently sucking it into her mouth. 

The moment Clarke felt Lexa's tongue brush against it, she let out a low moan, head falling back against the furs and eyes squeezing shut. When Lexa’s thumb rubbed lightly against her other nipple at the same time her tongue flicked against the one still trapped gently between her lips, Clarke let out another, higher pitched noise.

Hearing that noise break from between the blonde's parted lips, Lexa felt her heart lodge itself in her throat. Nothing else in her life had ever sounded as perfect as the noises that managed to escape the blonde and all she wanted in that moment was to hear more of them. Breaking her lips away from Clarke's breast, the blonde whimpered in despair, but she gasped in pleasure when the brunettes thumb and forefinger pinched and rolled the nipple of the other one. Leaving her hand to continue its work, Lexa started to trail sweet, wet kisses down along the other girl's stomach. Her free hand traveled with her, and when she reached the beginning of Clarke’s pants, she immediately unbuttoned them. She looked up to meet Clarke’s now dark blue eyes and with a nod of permission, she dragged her pants down Clarke’s legs. Clarke kicked, helping her to remove the unwanted clothing, and when the blonde looked at the older girl she laid before her in nothing but her underwear.

Lexa did as she did earlier, placing soft and loving kisses to each scar that marred Clarke’s skin, leaving a wet trail along her beautiful, strong, pale legs. She started at the top of Clarke’s thighs moving all the way down to her ankles and then back up. “You’re so beautiful Clarke,” Lexa whispered as she continued peppering kisses along Clarke’s legs, her hands drawing lazy patterns on the blonde’s thighs.

The complement meant more to Clarke, than Lexa probably realized and Clarke moaned out loud as Lexa’s tongue continued to work. “I love you,” Clarke managed to moan out.

Lexa shivered at the husk in Clarke’s voice and could tell how aroused she was just by the sound, so she made her way back up her legs to the final piece of clothing that was covering Clarke. Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke the entire time she pulled down Clarke’s underwear until she discarded it. Then her mouth was against her sex and Clarke could do nothing but moan as her head pushed back down into the pillows by her head. Lexa's tongue explored her, and Clarke felt her body tremble as her legs spread wider, allowing Lexa room to work. She felt the brunette let out a hum as her tongue swept through her folds, gathering everything she could as she went, and the blonde let out a long moan as the tiny vibrations ran through her. Suddenly Lexa's tongue flattened against her clit, and Clarke couldn’t stop her hips from bucking into the brunette’s mouth. Lexa continued to run her tongue through the blonde’s folds as she held her hips down to keep them in place. Clarke let out a sinful moan as Lexa’s tongue ran along the entirety of her sex before returning to her clit and running circles and a few other patterns over it. “Lexa, fuck,” Clarke moaned as her body thrummed in pleasure and her muscles tightened.

Lexa continued to lash at Clarke’s clit and one of her hands left Clarke’s hip to travel down to her opening. Her tongue continued its work, pulling delicious moans and whimpers from the writhing blonde below her, and then she plunged two fingers inside. Clarke let out her loudest moan yet and she pushed her body down onto Lexa’s hand. “Lexa, god, please,” Clarke begged and Lexa slowly began pumping her fingers in and out, occasionally twisting. It didn’t take long until Clarke couldn’t form any words and her body burned with pleasure, “Fuck, Lexa I’m… I’m going to…”

“Let go Clarke,” Lexa said before returning her lips back to Clarke’s clit, sucking it hard into her mouth. That was all it took for Clarke’s body to go rigid and then she was moaning in pleasure as her release flooded out onto the brunettes tongue and hand. Lexa continued to pump her fingers until Clarke’s orgasm washed over her fully and then Lexa made her way slowly back up to Clarke’s lips. Clarke moaned as she tasted herself on Lexa’s lips and she kissed the brunette back hard. “I love you,” Lexa whispered.

“I love you too,” Clarke replied, and then she used her legs to flip the brunette onto her back. “Now it’s my turn,” she said with a smirk and her body started trailing down Lexa’s neck, sucking on the beautifully smooth and tan flesh all the way down to her nipple. Clarke didn’t hesitate to suck and nibble on one, while she pulled and rolled the other in her hand. Lexa’s moans were much more quiet than hers had been, but the sounds that escaped the brunette’s mouth were the best sounds that Clarke had ever heard. She continued to lavish Lexa’s breast until she was satisfied and then she switched her mouth surrounding the other nipple while her fingers pulled at the now free one.

Lexa enjoyed the attention her breasts were getting but she wanted more, no she needed more. “Beja, Clarke.” Lexa groaned and she threaded her fingers through blonde hair and pushed her head down her body.

Clarke smirked at Lexa, but complied moving down to where Lexa wanted her and sliding her pants and underwear off in one motion. Clarke stared at the now naked Commander below her and she froze, just taking in every detail she could. She was snapped out of her haze, when Lexa moaned and bucked her hips, begging for Clarke’s attention. Clarke quickly collected herself and positioned herself in between Lexa’s legs before placing a broad stroke with her tongue between Lexa’s folds. Lexa squeezed her eyes shut at the sensation and she moaned out Clarke’s name along with a few expletives in Trigedasleng. “Please Clarke, Beja. I need more.

Clarke continued to run her tongue through Lexa’s folds until she gave into Lexa’s begging and plunged her tongue inside. Lexa’s body thrashed in pleasure and Clarke had to hold the brunette’s thighs down to keep her from kicking her. Clarke thrust into Lexa with her tongue and Lexa continued to writhe and moan out Clarke’s name.

Clarke could sense that Lexa was close so she brought her hand into the mix, running circles over the Commander’s clit in rhythm with her tongue. Before long, Lexa moaned loudly and her release flooded Clarke’s tongue. The blonde’s tongue and hand continued until Lexa’s body stopped moving and she whimpered as she became too sensitive for Clarke’s touch. 

Clarke quickly made her way up Lexa’s body and placed a loving kiss to Lexa’s lips. Lexa let out a small yawn and Clarke chuckled before peppering kisses all over Lexa’s face. “I love you Lexa, and no matter what happens tomorrow or any day after, nothing will change that.”

“I love you too Clarke. I always have and I always will,” Lexa whispered. Their lips collided again in a gentle loving kiss and then they both cuddled together, wrapping their arms tightly around the other and they drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Clarke awoke a little while later and for the first time in what felt like forever she didn’t have a nightmare. With Lexa’s arms wrapped around her, Clarke felt protected and safe, and her mind was able to relax. Clarke picked her head up off of the sleeping brunettes chest and couldn’t help but stare at her peaceful features. She felt so much love for the sleeping woman, her heart shattered in her chest at the fact that they wouldn’t get to be together. 

Clarke sighed and shook herself out of her melancholy thoughts. She slowly rolled out of Lexa’s embrace and off the bed. The brunette whimpered and rolled over into the spot Clarke had just vacated and she wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde’s pillow. Clarke smiled at her actions and walked throughout the room gathering her scattered clothing and dressing herself. It was early afternoon and Clarke would need to return to her room soon in case anyone came looking for her.

When she was fully clothed, she walked back to the bed. Leaning down, she kissed Lexa on the forehead. “I love you so much,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry that Nia is doing this. I will make her pay one day, and no matter what I will never stop loving you.”

With that, Clarke walked out onto Lexa’s balcony and climbed back down to the room she shared with Roan. Roan was seated in a chair with his back to her. As she approached she noticed a book in his hand, more specifically her sketchbook. “See something you like?”

Roan nearly jumped up to his feet and he slammed the book in his hand closed. “Shit! You know I hate it when you do that,” Roan said, setting the book down on the table. He turned around to face a smirking Clarke and took in her appearance. “I guess your goodbye went well.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Your hair is a mess and you smell like sex,” Roan explained.

Clarke reached up to her head and tried to smooth out her hair. “I don’t know if I would feel right saying that that goodbye went well. I love her, and I’m never going to get to be with her, I’m never going to get to tell her that again.”

“I know,” Roan said softly, moving closer to the heartbroken blonde. He knew what she was feeling. He loved Nadia more than anything and knowing that he would never truly get to be with her was devastating. “I’m sorry.” 

Clarke swallowed and nodded sadly. “Yeah,” she whispered, trying to keep her voice strong. She was going to continue speaking but a knock on the door silenced her.

“Min yu op,” Roan called. The door opened and a few handmaidens entered.

“Wanheda, we are here to help prepare you for tomorrow,” one of them said. 

Clarke nodded and made her way to the door to leave with the handmaidens. “I’ll see you later Roan,” she said and she followed the servants down the hall and into another room.

Clarke spent hours in that room learning the rituals and cleaning herself up for tomorrow. It was a lot of information. Clarke not only needed to learn the rituals for her bonding, but she also needed to learn some for being initiated into Azgeda’s royal family. It was a lot of information, and Clarke’s head was starting to hurt.

After spending hours in that room, she met Roan and they spent some time talking about tomorrow and eating. Then they decided to make their way down to the sparring pits.

By now, Clarke felt good as new and she was back to her old training regimine. Roan wasn’t back to one hundred percent, but he was close, and he was used to pushing through injuries, so he wasn’t concerned about his condition.

They entered the starring pit and both stretched momentarily before they started circling each other. They decided to go hand to hand and they weren’t allowed to take any shots up near they face, Nia required that they look perfect for their ceremony tomorrow, and they began their match. It felt good for Clarke to be fighting again. It was one of the few experiences where she actually felt free and in control. The only other time she ever felt that way was when she was around a certain brunette. She used her thoughts of Lexa and her anger towards Nia to spur her on and she put on a show of skill with Roan.

/////

The azgeda soldier entered the gates of Polis quickly. He was stopped by the guards at the gates and told to slow down, but he was allowed to enter with no issue. He slowed his horse as ordered but still moved quickly. His journey from Saipan to Polis had taken a few days and he needed to speak to his Queen as quickly as possible. 

He entered Polis Tower and rode up to the floor where the Azgeda delegation was staying. He was searched by the two guards standing outside Nia’s door and then he was allowed to enter. He walked into the room and immediately dropped to a knee.

Nia was seated in a chair in her room, the leaders of Blue Cliff and Podakru were there with her. “Rise and tell me why you have come,” she ordered.

The man rose to his feet and took a deep breath to calm his nerves before he spoke, “My Queen, there was an attack in Saipan. It was an attempt on the branwada Emerson’s life.”

Nia raised an eyebrow, her anger simmering low in her gut, “Who led this attack? Were they successful?”

“It was Trikru and a few Skaikru my Queen. They were not successful. Emerson escaped into the woods with guards just as you prepared,” he reported.

Nia knew what this meant. There was no way that anyone would find out about Emerson without being told, and the only person who would talk and get the support from both Trikru and Skaikru, was Clarke. She had talked. She had been quiet all this time, followed Nia like a good little soldier for months, and now she decided it was time to disobey her orders and attempt to kill Emerson. Nia needed Clarke alive, but this would not go unpunished. “Wanheda has disobeyed her clan, her Queen. She seems to have forgotten who is in charge here. I think it is time we remind her.”

The other two clan leaders grunted their assent and the three leaders, their guards, and the messenger from Saipan all left the room in search of the blonde. 

Nia was angry. Clarke had tried to disobey her. Her plan was so close to being a success, now was not the time for Clarke to try anything. She could feel her teeth grinding as she considered her options. She couldn’t kill Wanheda, at least not yet, and she needed to send a message. And she had just the plan.

Nia stormed through Polis in search of her target. Her anger was burning, growing hotter by the second, but she was also excited. Excited to prove to everyone that she was in control of Wanheda, the Commander of Death, and that any attack or act of treason committed against her or her clan would be met with severe consequences.

/////

Clarke rolled under a punch headed for her gut and shot back up to her feet. She dodged a few more hits before she grabbed Roan’s wrist, flipped him over her body and wrapped him up in an armlock. She pulled back on the arm, earning a grunt from Roan, and quickly after that he tapped her leg to call for release. 

Clarke let go of her hold and popped up to her feet before helping Roan up. “Impressive,” he complimented. “You finally beat me.”

“You’re not one hundred percent. It doesn’t count,” Clarke replied. 

“A win is a win,” Roan said heading to the edge of the ring to put his shirt back on and drink from his waterskin.

“In a real situation that would be true. In a sparring match it’s not. I’ll beat you one day, and I will rub it in your face all the time, but you will be at your best when I do.”

“Fair enough,” Roan said as him and Clarke left the sparring pit. 

It was dark out at this point and the two would need to return to their room soon. They walked silently for a little while before Clarke spoke, “So this is it. In a little while we’ll go to sleep. When we wake up we’re going to be bonded together.”

Roan turned to look at Clarke, who kept her gaze straight ahead and he nodded his head. “Lexa’s proud of you.”

Clarke froze in her steps. “And how would you know that?” She asked. She didn’t believe for a second that Lexa would be proud of her. She had given up, and maybe it was for a good reason, but she had still given up. That wasn’t something to be proud of. Plus, if she ever found out about Clarke’s other identity, pride is the last thing she would be receiving.

“She would be,” Roan continued. “She knows how to lead well, and she told you you would be a good leader. This sacrifice you are making, that is what a leader would do. You have so much strength Clarke, more than anyone I know. I see it and she sees it. She’s proud of you.”

Clarke swallowed down her feelings that were threatening to spill over and cleared her throat. “Nadia would be proud of you too. So would Kai. You have given him someone to look up to, someone to model himself after, someone who is going make a difference in Azgeda one day. This definitely isn’t the life that either of us wanted, that either of us deserve, but I’m honored to call you my friend Roan. We are going to find a way to stop your mother and bring peace to Azgeda. I’m honored to be by your side for it.”

“Wanheda, Roan,” a voice snapped them out of their moment.

Clarke turned to see Nia and a few others approaching. They were standing in an empty area of the streets of Polis and were the only people in the area. Clarke and Roan both bowed their heads. “My Queen,” they both said in unison.

Clarke and Roan both looked up to meet the eyes of the Queen, who was staring daggers at Clarke, “Wanheda, it has come to my attention that there has been an attack in Saipan. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you?”

Clarke felt her blood run cold and a lump formed in her throat. She averted her eyes and swallowed to try and clear her throat, “My Queen I-”

Clarke’s words were cut off by a punch to the jaw from Queen Nia. “Now look what you made me do,” Nia said motioning towards Clarke’s now bloody lip. “Now there is a mark on your face before the ceremony tomorrow. I guess it won’t hurt now to add a few more.” Before Clarke could respond she felt three more punches to the face and a knee to the gut. “I told you what would happen if you disobeyed me, yet you chose to do it anyway,” Nia growled as she continued her assault. 

Clarke needed to think of something to say or something to do and fast.

/////

Octavia and Indra pushed their horses as quickly as they could through the trees. They were late. They were supposed to make it back to Polis yesterday but due to the weather and harsh terrain of Azgeda, it took longer to get to Saipan then expected and they lost some valuable time. Rosco’s betrayal also cost them a bit of time and now they were late.

Octavia was starting to panic. Not only were they late, but they had failed. They had to go find Clarke and the Commander and warn them that their attempt failed and that there was no way to stop the bonding ceremony from happening. 

It was late out. The sun had disappeared and the moon had taken its place by the time they reached the gates of Polis. The guards recognized Indra immediately and didn’t bother to stop them or check them before letting them enter the city. “Octavia, go find Clarke. It is likely that a messenger was sent from Saipan here and he could have gotten a head start or known of a faster path to get here. We can’t let Queen Nia found out about Clarke’s betrayal.”

“I’m on it,” Octavia replied to her first and then she launched herself from her horse in search of the blonde.

Indra rode her horse all the way to the towers entrance before dismounting and quickly making her way to the throne room.

Lexa was sitting in her throne, Luna and Titus were in front of her. They were discussing the ceremony that was to happen tomorrow and if they could find a way to stop it. Titus didn’t seem interested in preventing it or slowing it down and he provided little input. Luna was trying to help come up with something but there really wasn’t anything that could be done.

Lexa was racking her brain trying to come up with some reason to stop or at least postpone the ceremony, but her mind kept drifting off. She couldn’t get the images of the morning she had spent with Clarke out of her head. She had finally found someone, finally opened herself up to love again, only to have it ripped away again by that evil ice bitch.

Lexa was quickly snapped out of her thoughts when the doors to her throne room burst open and a tired looking Indra entered. “Indra what happened?” Lexa asked, sensing something was off.

“Heda I’m sorry, but we failed. Emerson knew we were coming. He got away.”

“How?” Lexa snarled.

“Rosco. He betrayed you Heda. He is working for Queen Nia, has been for a while it seems,” Indra replied.

Lexa stood slowly from her throne and glared at Titus, “I had you question my staff. What did he say to you? Did he give away anything that you could have overlooked.”

Titus stared at Lexa wide eyed, “Heda...I-”

“Spit it out Titus. What did he say to you?” Lexa questioned.

“Heda, I… I don’t remember,” Titus replied weakly.

“What do you mean you don’t remember,” Luna spoke up.

Lexa kept her gaze fixated on Titus and she realized something. “You didn’t question him did you?”

“Heda, he has been loyal to you for years. He saved your life more than once. There was no need to question him. The accusation from some filthy Azgeda scum was not trustworthy,” Titus replied.

Lexa stepped down the dais of her throne and stalked towards Titus, sending him recoiling back, quivering in fear. “Heda, please there is no time. We must find Clarke, she is in danger. If Nia finds out what happened, she could be killed for her betrayal,” Indra interrupted.

The danger to Clarke snapped Lexa out of her rage. “You will pay for your insolence,” Lexa growled at Titus before storming out of the room, Indra, Luna, and Titus on her heels.

When they reached the bottom floor and exited from the tower, they were met by Octavia, “Heda,” she started. “You must come with me. Queen Nia knows. It’s not good,” she said before taking off down one of the roads of Polis, leading everyone towards Clarke.

/////

Clarke took another fist to the jaw and dropped down onto her knees. “Mother please, you must stop,” Roan tried. “Now is not the time nor place for this.”

“Stay out of it boy,” Nia roared before returning her attention to a bloody, beaten, and bruised Clarke. “You know the price for your betrayal Clarke. You along with Skaikru will suffer for this,” Nia growled and she delivered another punch to Clarkes face.

Clarke was on her knees. Blood was pouring from her nose, mouth, and a gash from above her eye. Her torso was burning, her ribs had to be badly bruised, luckily not broken, and she could feel the sting of a few slash marks across her arms. She wasn’t doing anything to stop it. She learned a long time ago not to fight back when receiving a punishment or it would only get worse.

Clarke right now was at a loss. Her entire body was aching and there was nothing she could say or do. There was no lie she could come up with about Emerson. There was no way to explain the attempt on his life. There was no way for her to stop this punishment or likely the punishment that Skaikru was now destined for. She had failed them.

Another punch to her temple sent her body toppling over to one side. Her arms were weak and shaking but she used them to push herself up off the ground. She was going to stand tall for her punishment. She would not risk angering Nia further and putting Skaikru in more danger and she would not lower herself and look weak in front of Nia or the small crowd that was gathered around her. 

She pushed forward, making herself look as strong as possible which, in her condition, wasn’t very, and she waited. She was prepared for more threats, another punch or kick or cut, but she was not prepared for the voice she heard instead.

“Nia no mo,” Lexa ordered. Running up to the clearing with Indra, Octavia, Luna, and Titus.

Nia held up her fist, but didn’t bring it down on Clarke, “Commander, the internal affairs of my clan are none of your business. She has committed treason. She deserves a much worse punishment than this.”

Lexa looked at her badly injured love and barely held herself back from killing Nia where she stood. “I said, no more,” the Commander bit out through clenched teeth.

Nia lowered her fist and started laughing. It was a dry, haunting, humorless laugh and it made Clarke cringe at the sound. “You are weak,” Nia said directed towards the Commander. “You let your feelings for this girl control you. You know you have no right to stop this, yet here you are. You failed to protect Julius kom Sankru from the threat of an assassin, and if not for my guard, you would have failed me. Your biggest failure was the mountain. You led an army, an army that would have won, but instead of fighting like a true warrior, you cut a deal and ran away with your tail between you legs. If not for Wanheda, the mountain men would still be alive, and likely would still reign terror on our people. You are young and foolish. You are weak.”

“I did what I did on the mountain to protect my people. I do not regret that decision and I do not need to defend myself to you,” Lexa said, taking a menacing step towards the Queen. 

The clan leaders from Blue Cliff and Podakru took a step closer to Nia along with her guards, showing their support for the Queen and that they weren’t afraid of her. “I am the Commander of this coalition. You bow to me, and you would do well to remember that.”

“Well maybe it shouldn’t be your coalition,” Nia said with a smirk. Finally, an opportunity. This is what she has been waiting for.

“You can’t call for a vote of no confidence. You would lose,” Luna stepped forward, one step behind the Commander. “You would not have the support of Flokru, Trikru, Skaikru, and others.”

“Who says I want to call for a vote of no confidence,” Nia smirked.

“We both know what you want Nia,” Lexa growled straightening out her back and glaring daggers at her greatest enemy. “Issue the challenge and lets get on with it.”

“Fine,” Nia said. “You are challenged.

“And I accept your challenge,” Lexa said without a moment's hesitation. 

As the staring match between the two continued, Titus stepped in between them. “The challenge has been made and accepted. Heda who will fight for you?”

“Ai laik Heda. Non na throu daun gon ai,” Lexa bellowed, eyes glued on Nia.

Titus swallowed, “Nia, who will fight for you?”

Nia’s eyes swept over her guards and landed on her son. She kept eye contact with him. “Wanheda,” she announced looking away from her son and down to the bleeding blonde.

“I will take her place,” Roan spoke up. His mother turned to him amused and raised an eyebrow. “We are to be bonded. It is my job to protect her. I will fight for her.”

“True you are to be bonded, but you aren’t yet. I am the Queen of Azgeda and my decisions outrule yours. Wanheda will fight,” she said, directing her last sentence at Titus.

Clarke winced and she slowly pushed herself up to her feet. She glared at Nia for a split second before bowing her head and turning to face the Commander. “It is settled then,” Titus said. “Tomorrow, in place of the bonding ceremony, the challenge will commence.”

/////

Everything that happened after that was blur for Clarke. She looked into those green eyes that she loved so much and wanted nothing more than to go to her. To tell her she loved her and beg her not to do this, but instead she was ushered out of the clearing and back to her shared room with Roan.

She walked over to one of the tables and grabbed a first aid kit before limping over to the couch. She dropped down onto it with a wince and tended to her injuries. Stopping her face and other gashes from bleeding and wrapping up her ribs as tightly as she could.

Roan entered a few minutes after she was done. He let out a frustrated yell before punching a hole through a piece of wooden furniture. He took his hand out and shook it a few times, relieving the dull ache that started. “Of course she would do this,” Roan growled as he started pacing.

“Roan,” Clarke said softly, trying to calm him down to no avail. “Roan,” she said again more forcefully. “Stop, we knew this is something she wanted from the beginning. I’m not happy about it, but it’s not a surprise.”

Roan sighed. “You’re right. We need to come up with a plan.”

Clarke shook her head, “No plan.” Roan raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m going to let the Commander kill me.”

“What?” Roan practically yelled.

“Come on Roan, what else can I do? Nia knows I talked about Emerson. Her threat if I did that was to blow up Arkadia. You and I both know she will follow through with that. I failed Skaikru, and there is nothing I can do now to stop Nia. The Commander is the only one who will have even the slightest chance of leading her people to stop Nia, and if she can’t, she is the only one who will be able to lead them and help them get through whatever Nia throws at them. The people of the coalition need her. They don’t need me.”

“The Commander would never kill you,” Roan argued.

“She will. She’s a good leader, the best there ever could be. She will choose her head over her heart. She will do what needs to be done for her people,” Clarke replied.

Roan shook his head, “Clarke this is ridiculous. You can’t just let her kill you.”

“Do you have another idea? Because there is no way to stop a challenge, and the only way a challenge ends is when one of the two warriors is dead. I don’t have a say in fighting, considering the fact that there were other clan leaders present at the issuing. If I tried to run away I would be deemed weak, a traitor. The Commander would have no choice but to put a kill order over my head, and I would die anyway. The Commander can’t find a replacement because she has to fight for herself to prove her strength to Nia and the rest of her people. One of us has to die and it’s better off if it’s me,” Clarke argued. She closed her eyes and sighed. “After everything that I’ve done, I probably deserve it anyway,” Clarke whispered.

“Clarke-” 

Roan was prepared to argue when the doors to their room opened and none other than Nia entered. “Clarke, I won’t be here long, you need your rest, I just came here to give you an incentive for tomorrow.”

“Why? My people are dead anyway,” Clarke replied.

“I’m here to make you a deal Clarke. You kill the Commander, and I will give you Emerson’s location and allow you to kill him,” Nia offered.

Clarke’s mouth hung open for a moment before she pulled herself together, “You would never allow that.”

“Clarke, you kill the Commander and I will take control of the coalition. I will give you Emerson, allowing you to end the threat of the missile, and I will allow Skaikru to live in peace. You are their only chance for survival Clarke. If I were you, I would take it,” Nia said and she started to walk to the doors of the room. “Also, I’m leaving two guards in here to keep an eye on you both before tomorrow. Make the right decision Clarke. Your people are counting on you.”

With that Nia left the room. Two guards took up position beside the door their eyes scanning the room and the shocked blonde and Prince.

“Well that I was not expecting,” Roan muttered.

Clarke was frozen in place, her mouth gaping. She was stuck with two choices now. Let the Commander kill her and allow Skaikru to be destroyed, or kill the Commander, the woman she loves, to protect her friends and those she once called her people. Fuck.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I got a lot of great responses from you guys last chapter so thank you so much for that. I'm sorry to leave you on a such a cliffhanger, but it had to happen and I'm sure there will be more in the future. A lot of you asked for me to post this next chapter early so I wrote a lot to get this done and ready. Hopefully I will have another chapter ready for you guys on Monday as well. Anyway, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Please, leave any comments you have and let me know what you think. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you all like it!

Octavia was pacing in front of the Commanders throne. Lexa was seated upon it and Titus, Indra, and Luna were standing before her. They were all trying to absorb what had happened a few moments ago. “Oh this is bad. This is so so so bad,” Octavia was saying to herself as she continued pacing.

“Seken, chil yu au,” Indra scolded.

Octavia stopped her pacing and looked up into the eyes of her mentor, “What are we gonna do?” 

“There is nothing to do,” Titus spoke up. “Heda and Wanheda will fight to the death and that is the end of it.”

“Are you kidding me?” Octavia growled. “That is not happening.”

“Octavia, chil daun,” Lexa ordered from her throne. “Titus, shof op.” 

Octavia turned her attention to Lexa, “Commander, you can’t seriously fight Clarke to the death.”

“I don’t think she has much of a choice,” Luna supplied sadly. She liked Clarke, and she knew how much Lexa cared about her, but she just didn’t see a way out of this.

“Are you telling me you could kill Clarke?” Octavia questioned, eyes never leaving Lexa. “Because I can promise you that she won’t fight you. She’d rather let you kill her than her kill you.”

Lexa sighed deeply. She knew that Octavia was speaking the truth, but she also knew that it wouldn’t be that simple. “I’m afraid you may be wrong.” Octavia raised an eyebrow and prepared to argue, but Lexa continued. “Nia has been preparing for an opportunity like this for probably over two years. She would not waste her opportunity by giving me an opponent who would so easily surrender and lose to me.”

“Maybe she thinks that you would be the one to surrender. Maybe she thinks your feelings for Clarke will keep you from killing her,” Octavia said.

“No, she knows that I would choose the coalition over my feelings. I’ve done it already,” Lexa replied.

“Costia,” Luna said.

Lexa swallowed and nodded. “Nia took her to try and learn my secrets, but Costia didn’t tell her anything, so she changed tactics. The coalition was still new and fragile. After she joined the coalition, she gave me Costia’s head. She wanted me to lash out, to break my own rules and in turn the coalition, but I couldn’t do that. I let her get away with it, and no punishment or revenge was found for Costia. All to keep the coalition together and to keep the people at peace.”

“That’s awful,” Octavia whispered after a moment of silence.

“There is something here that we aren’t seeing. Nia has some sort of plan, but I do not know what it is,” Lexa said, frustrated, changing the topic from her dead ex love.

“Maybe we should try to talk to Clarke,” Octavia suggested.

“No, Nia would not allow that. We are opponents, and aren’t supposed to see each other before the fight. Besides, she will likely have guards posted inside and outside of her room. We would never be able to get to her,” Lexa answered.

“So what do we do?”

The room was silent for what felt like a very long time before Lexa spoke up. “We kill Nia.”

“What?” Octavia questioned.

“Heda, that is not wise,” Titus said and then he received a death glare from the Commander. She was still beyond pissed at him for his betrayal.

“We couldn’t kill her before. Why would we able to do it now?” Octavia asked.

“She is right Heda,” Indra said. “We would need proof that Nia broke your laws, proof that she was working with Emerson and threatening one of the thirteen clans, and we have none.” 

“But we do,” Lexa said. “Clarke, or more specifically, Wanheda.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Wanheda is highly respected and feared amongst all the clans. She will have sway with the people. She spent a lot of time in Azgeda with Queen Nia. They will believe her story. We couldn’t use her before because she was still trying to protect her people. She couldn’t let anyone know about Emerson or the missile because if Nia found out she spoke, Nia would use it. But now Nia knows Clarke spoke. She will use the missile anyway, which means that Clarke will be willing to tell the people about Nia’s treason,” Lexa explained.

“I don’t understand,” Octavia said, still confused.

“Nia told Clarke that if she spoke about the missile, it would be used on Arkadia. Even if Clarke speaking out were to result in Nia’s death, Nia would have orders in place and the missile would still be used. Clarke had no option but to keep quiet, which is why she didn’t tell anyone about Emerson and the missile. When I found out about Emerson on my own, she was forced to talk. Then Nia found out, which means she is going to use the missile to punish Clarke for her disobedience. Clarke no longer has to keep quiet and we can use her to convince the clans that Nia has committed treason,” Lexa explained further.

“Ok so we can use Clarke. Does that mean you can stop the challenge from happening?”

“No,” Luna answered for Lexa. “The challenge was made in front of multiple clan leaders and the leaders of Blue Cliff and Podakru didn’t argue with it. We can’t stop the challenge, and we can’t kill Nia before it starts either. If we were to do that, it would make Lexa look like she was weak and trying to escape the threat that Nia poses.”

“So if the challenge is going to happen, what good does Clarke speaking out do us?”

“We will have to start the trial. The fight will begin, we will have to make it look good to lower Nia’s guard, and then I will strike. When she is dead, Clarke and I will tell the clans what happened and we will instate Roan as Azgeda’s new king. It won’t be easy, but it is the only option that I believe we have,” Lexa said. 

The group stayed in the Commander’s throne room a while longer and hashed out the details of the plan. It was risky and close to impossible, but it was their only choice. When they were done, they all split off to their rooms to get some rest before tomorrow.

/////

Clarke was standing in the alcove she had been in before her trial with Roan. She was dressed in similar gear, armed to the tee with all of her weapons. She had her warpaint on in the same design that Lexa had given her for her trial, but in Clarke’s opinion, the servant that did it for her didn’t do it as well as Lexa had. 

She was nervous and her body still hurt from the beating she took yesterday. Her face was still bruised, but at least some of them were covered by the warpaint. Her ribs were aching, but they were wrapped tightly so they didn’t feel as bad as they could be feeling. She was used to random beatings though, and she was accustomed to fighting while injured, so she knew that they wouldn’t hold her back during the challenge.

That leads her to her next problem. What the hell was she going to do? If she killed Lexa, then Nia was going to let her kill Emerson and get rid of the threat of the missile, but could she really kill Lexa? Lexa was so important to the coalition and Clarke loved her beyond anything she could have ever imagined. How could she kill the woman she loved? How could she not and allow her people to suffer for it? If she did kill Lexa, would Nia even honor the deal she proposed? Clarke was at a loss. She didn’t know what to do. She had tried for the past two years to keep her people safe. Could she really throw all that away and let Lexa kill her? But would her people actually be safe if she did what Nia was asking?

Of course through all of her thoughts, her own life was never a concern. She honestly didn’t care about herself as much as she did about Lexa and her people. She was a monster, she had accepted that a long time ago, and death was something she deserved and something that she didn’t fear. She did fear for the safety of others though and she was trapped in a situation with no good options.

Clarke was so lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice the person approaching from behind her. At the last second she sensed someone approaching her and she spun around, prepared to pounce, but instantly stilled as the person behind her removed their hood. “Lexa,” Clarke breathed in relief. The Commander stood in front of Clarke in a black cloak over her clothing with her warpoint perfectly applied to her face. 

Lexa took a quick step forward and framed Clarke’s face in her hands, her eyes scanning over the visible bruising. Her eyes flashed with anger and her body tensed, but Clarke leaned forward and captured the brunettes lips in a soft kiss, instantly relieving the tension in her body. “Not that I’m complaining, but you’re not allowed to be here,” Clarke said after she pulled away from her favorite pair of lips. 

“I know,” Lexa admitted. “But I had to see you.”

Clarke’s body relaxed and she wrapped her arms around the taller brunette so tightly, it seemed like she was trying to merge their bodies together. That would make things easier, wouldn’t it? Lexa returned the hold, reveling in the feeling of the woman she loved in her arms, but someone calling out the blonde’s name snapped her out of her bubble. Lexa released her hold on Clarke and looked into her shimmering blue eyes. “Clarke we don’t have any more time,” Lexa started and the same voice called out for Clarke again. Lexa put her hood on. “Make it look good,” was all Lexa said before she started to walk away.

Clarke watched as Lexa started to leave and she scrambled forward grabbing the brunettes arm, “Lexa, wait.” Lexa turned around to face Clarke, “I love you,” she said.

Lexa smiled at her and leaned in for one more quick kiss, “I love you too.”

“Clarke,” the same voice called out, now recognizable as the voice of Roan. Clarke turned towards the voice for a moment, and then turned back to where Lexa last was, but the spot was empty. Roan approached her as she stared at the empty spot on the ground, “You okay?”

Clarke shook her head, snapping out of her haze, “Yeah, I’m good.”

“It’s almost time. Are you ready?” He asked

Clarke nodded, “Yeah just give me a minute.”

Roan nodded and took a few steps away to give the blonde some space. Clarke thought back to Lexa from moments ago and something stuck out. ‘Make it look good.’ Well what the hell does that mean? Does Lexa have some sort of plan? Did she think that Clarke was just going to let Lexa kill her without a fight and didn’t want her to? Letting Lexa kill her had been her first thought, and before Nia’s offer, that was the plan, but now she didn’t know what she was going to do. Was Lexa telling her not to surrender herself? Did she just want to put on a show? Why did that incredible, gorgeous woman have to be so damn cryptic? Clarke was still going over possibilities when Roan approached her again, “Clarke, it’s time.” 

Clarke nodded and started to follow Roan towards the arena. “If I die,” Clarke started. “Make Azgeda better.”

Roan turned to look at her and nodded slightly, “I will, but Clarke please don’t give up out there. But whatever happens, I will make you proud.”

“Thank you Roan. For everything,” Clarke said and she pulled her friend into a quick embrace.

“No, thank you Clarke,” he said before he stopped at the entrance to the arena. He locked eyes with her and gave her an encouraging nod before walking away.

Clarke watched him leave before turning and facing the entrance to the arena. She took a deep breath and focused on what was about to go down. Whatever Lexa meant, Clarke would have to trust her. She was going to put on a damn good show and see what happened. Hopefully, Lexa had a plan and the answer to her problem would just magically fall in her lap and she wouldn’t really have to make the decision on her own. Whatever happened out there, someone was going to die. This really sucks.

/////

Clarke was standing in the center of the arena with Lexa to her left. Everything looked just like it had for her trial. The stage she was facing was where the clan leaders were all seated upon their thrones, and Titus was standing on the far side of the stage. The only difference from her trial and now, was that Lexa’s throne was empty.

Clarke looked to the right side beside the stage where Octavia, Raven, Abby, Bellamy, and Lincoln were standing. Bellamy and Lincoln had returned early this morning, just in time to watch the fight. Lincoln was covered in a light sheen of sweat and he looked a little uncomfortable in his stance, but other than that they looked okay. For that Clarke was relieved. 

She looked and watched as Roan approached the group and they all seemed to welcome his presence. She smiled slightly as he said something that made Raven and Octavia smile. It wasn’t much, but it was something and she was glad her friends were getting along with him. 

She studied each of their faces and saw worry across the faces of her mom, Bellamy, and Lincoln, but Octavia and Raven didn’t seem to be too worried. Clarke didn’t know what to think of it, but she didn’t have much time to think about it as Titus started to speak.

“Hashta soulou gonplei, bilaik won hedon noumou: do souda wan op deyon,” Titus started. He raised his arm and pointed at each competitor before swing his arm in a chopping motion, “Yo na jomp in.” Titus finished and then he sat down in his own seat.

Clarke and Lexa walked to opposite sides of the ring. Clarke pulled out her sword and then glanced onto the stage towards Nia. Nia gave her a curt nod, urging her to do what needed to be done, before she returned her gaze to her opponent. In that moment she realized she wouldn’t, couldn’t, kill Lexa. Trusting Nia was too big of a risk and killing Lexa was just something she couldn’t do. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to make this fight look good. 

Lexa took her pauldron off her shoulder and handed it to one of her guards before pulling out her own sword. She locked eyes with all of Clarke’s friends and nodded to them.

While Lexa had her back turned, Clarke charged forward. Lexa watched as Roan smirked and the eyes of Octavia and Raven widened. She turned her body to see behind her and felt a slight cut on her back. It wasn’t deep and the armor took most of the damage, but Lexa was still surprised.

Clarke smirked and took a step back into the center of the ring and Lexa followed behind her. “Really?” Lexa asked as the two began to circle each other.

“Hey, I’m fighting for my life here,” Clarke said, but her tone was slightly joking. “Are you going to tell me what your plan is?” She had come to the conclusion that Lexa had some sort of plan to get them both out of this situation alive and she was going to trust Lexa. And hey, if her trust was misplaced, if Lexa was playing her, she wasn’t worried too much about her death. Although she really didn’t think that Lexa was playing her.

“I told you, just make it look good,” Lexa replied.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Clarke said.

Lexa smirked that annoyingly arrogant yet undeniably attractive smirk, “You won’t.”

Clarke scoffed and decided the time for talk was done. She had to make this look good and she had to at least get some sort of hit in on Lexa for that comment. Lexa blocked her attack and pushed forward with her own, each one blocked by Clarke.

Lexa had to admit she was impressed. It was one thing to watch the blonde in action, but to actually face her and see what she was made was impressive. This girl had real skill.

The two went back and forth for a while, neither really getting much of a lead, when Clarke made a move she wasn’t expecting. Clarke reached to her arm and pulled out a thin metal blade and used it to slice into Lexa’s forearm. Lexa grunted in pain and backpedalled as Clarke advanced on her.

Lexa brought up her sword and blocked a few attacks while still backpedalling, then Clarke’s advances stopped. She smiled smugly at Lexa, “I warned you.”

Lexa rolled her eyes and grumbled something to herself before launching herself at Clarke. Clarke walked backwards, blocking each of Lexa’s strikes when her ankle buckled and she dropped. Lexa wasn’t expecting it and her next strike connected, cutting across Clarke’s abdomen. 

The fabric of Clarke’s armor ripped and blood slowly began to cascade down her stomach. The wound wasn’t deep, but it still stung. Lexa seemed to freeze for a moment after the strike, but Clarke needed to keep her going. She didn’t know Lexa’s plan but she knew this fight needed to look believable, and the Commander doesn’t hesitate. “I’m fine,” Clarke gritted out. “Keep going. Beat me down. Make it look good.”

Clarke’s words snapped Lexa out of her daze and she advanced on Clarke. She wasn’t fond of the idea of beating the woman she loved, but she had to make this look good. She used the hilt of her sword and smashed it into Clarke’s nose. Clarke fell flat on her back and blood gushed out, pouring down the lower half of her face. 

Lexa placed the tip of her sword to Clarke’s chest directly above her heart and stared down into her favorite blue eyes. Clarke was down, time for the next part of her plan.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Nia who stood from her throne, “Gyon op! Taim yu wan op, Taim yu nou na wan op Wanheda! Yu wan op kom bushhada!”

Lexa’s eyes flickered from her love beneath her sword to the enraged Queen as she spoke. Oh how she hated Queen Nia. Lexa’s eyes returned to Clarke’s as she looked up at Lexa. She showed no fear, and Lexa was proud of her strength. “Whatever your plan is,” Clarke started. “Get it over with.” 

Clarke honestly didn’t know what to expect. She was pretty sure that Lexa had a plan and she was willing to go along with it, but if Lexa didn’t have a plan this was it. This was how she was going to die. Looking into the eyes of the woman she loved, Clarke figured if she was going to die, this wouldn’t be the worst way to go. She urged Lexa on and waited for the brunette to dish out her fate. 

“I love you,” Lexa said before pulling back and launching her sword across the arena towards the stage. It soared through the air towards its intended target, but it didn’t hit. It would have, but it seems Nia was expecting Lexa to make a move like this and she grabbed a random guard and pulled him in front of her body to use as a shield to save herself.

The crowd gasped as they watched the guard drop dead, blood trickling from his mouth. Clarke rolled over to see what had happened and she looked up at the stage. Lexa’s intent to kill Nia immediately became clear, but Clarke didn’t have any time to remark on it as the entire arena descended into chaos.

Nia seemed to be planning for something like this to happen, or maybe she was planning a hostile takeover of Polis once Clarke killed the Commander during the challenge. Either way, the Azgeda in attendance along with Azgeda’s allies all pulled out weapons and raced towards the Commander and her guards.

The Commander’s guards, being the best warriors available, reacted quickly taking out their attacking enemies while closing in to keep their Commander safe. 

Unfortunately, due to the bonding that was supposed to be taking place, Polis was filled with a lot more Azgeda warriors than usual and they were all descending on the arena, attacking anyone in sight.

“Clarke, get up,” Lexa said, pulling Clarke up to her feet and then turning to take out an Azgeda warrior that was charging her. Clarke returned to her feet and fought by Lexa’s side taking out all the warriors that were charging at them.

Every clan had warriors fighting. Most of the warriors had no idea what was going on. All they knew was that Polis was under attack and it was their job to defend the city and their Commander. 

At first the fight was clearly going Azgeda’s way. The surprise of their attack clearly gave them the advantage. The warriors of the coalition however brought the fight, and Azgeda’s advantage soon faded. 

The entire arena was in chaos and no one could move around much or see far ahead of them through the sea of bodies. “We need to get to Nia,” Lexa called out. Her intent had always been to kill Nia and she wasn’t planning on deviating from that plan now. Her guards around her along with Clarke, Octavia, and Bellamy all nodded. Lincoln, Raven, and Abby had cleared out once the fighting started, not being able to fight. 

Lexa’s guards paved a path to the stage along with Clarke and Skaikru beside her. When they approached the stage, Nia along with the some of the other clan leaders were gone. She used the height advantage from the stage to scan the arena and find her target. Nia was surrounded by four guards and they were heading to the gates of Polis. She was retreating.

Lexa growled as she watched her greatest enemy flee and escape from her grasp. Then her eyes swept over the rest of Polis. It was clear that Azgeda was outmatched. The fighting was dwindling and those warriors that were still living were fleeing behind their coward of a Queen. It seemed even the citizens of Polis had joined the fight, helping to outnumber and outmatch the Azgeda warriors.

Lexa and those around her returned to the fighting and eventually it was all over. When Polis was secure, Lexa sent out her healers to help all those that were injured and she called for a meeting with all the clan leaders at sundown, and then she ran to find Clarke.

Clarke grimaced as a bandage was wrapped around her abdomen, but she jumped up from her seat when she saw the brunette coming towards her. She leaped into her arms and kissed her, not caring about who might see. Lucky for them there wasn’t really anyone in the area. “That was a dangerous move, and you shouldn’t have done it,” Clarke chastised.

“I wasn’t going to kill you. I had a plan, it just didn’t go as I had hoped,” Lexa replied. “It doesn’t matter now,” Lexa said shaking it off and wrapping her arms around the blonde. “You’re free.”

Clarke pulled out of Lexa’s embrace as that realization sunk in. She was right. For the first time in two years, Clarke was free. She smiled for a moment relishing in her newfound freedom before she sobered up. Yes she was free, but her people were still in danger. “There’s still work to do,” Clarke said. She wasn’t going to completely relax until Skaikru was safe and the threat was gone.

Lexa knew Clarke was right so she didn’t push. “You’re right. Let’s get to work.”

/////

At sundown, Lexa was seated in her throne. Only seven of the thirteen clans were present. It was a surprise for most that so many clans allied themselves with Nia, but if that is what they believed was right, then so be it.

Lexa was seated in her throne with Indra and Titus behind her. Clarke was standing off to the side, not exactly sure where she should be. “Tonight did not go as planned,” Lexa started her speech to inform her people of what was going on. “I recently learned that Nia has betrayed us all by threatening other clans in this coalition. Wanheda, if you would inform the other clans of what you told me.”

Clarke swallowed and stepped into the center of the room, in front of Lexa’s throne. She told the ambassadors of Emerson and the missile and the threats that Nia had made. The clan leaders were enraged at Nia’s betrayal and were calling for her blood. It seemed Lexa was right. Wanheda’s word was enough to convince everyone of the Queens treachery.

After Clarke’s explanation, Lexa spoke again. “It is clear that those leaders who are not present have aligned themselves with Azgeda. I declare them all enemies of the coalition. Tonight we rest; recover from tonight's attack. Tomorrow, we go to war.”

“Jus drein jus daun,” the other clan leaders all chanted and they cleared the room. Tonight they would rest as ordered. Tomorrow, they had a war to plan.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's the next chapter. I think a lot of you are going to be surprised by what happens in this chapter. I debated a lot about if I wanted to go this way or figure something else out, but I decided I would go with it. I like it and I hope you guys do too. I wrote this chapter kind of fast to make sure I would get it up on time, so if anything is confusing, please let me know and I will try and clear it up for you. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think!

Lexa was seated in her throne and Titus and Indra were behind her. The seven clan leaders that were on Lexa’s side were all seated in their own seats, their ambassadors beside them and their guards posted behind them. Six seats were empty and they made the room feel bigger than normal. 

It was surprising to Lexa that six clans were missing. Azgeda, Blue Cliff, and Podakru were not a surprise, but Shadow Valley, Sankru, and Rock Line allying themselves with Azgeda was a shock. They had always seemed pleased with the coalition and very few times did they ever speak negatively of Lexa or the coalition. Even during the summit meetings they didn’t say much. Maybe that should have been a clue. They should have argued more against Azgeda and Nia when she spoke ill of the coalition and Lexa’s leadership, but they didn’t. They sat back and said nothing. Maybe Lexa should have picked up on it, but there is no point in dwelling on it now. 

Clarke was in the room as well, but she didn’t feel comfortable sitting in any of the seats. She wasn’t speaking on Azgeda’s behalf, she wasn’t speaking on anyone's behalf. She was Wanheda. She was feared and respected and she had important knowledge about Azgeda and their allies, so she was important for the war planning. She stood to the side of Lexa’s throne below the dais as the room continued to talk out their war strategies.

“After everything that Wanheda has told us,” Luna said. “I feel like it is safe to say that the first move she is going to make is using the missile at Mount Weather.”

“I agree. She will likely move back towards her own territory and then she will launch her attack,” Lexa said. 

“Using our technology, we were able to connect Gina and Sinclair who are both stationed in Mount Weather and we were able to reach our people back in Arkadia. We warned them of the threat and sent some of our guards to the mountain to help guard it,” Marcus said.

“Good,” Lexa replied. “I have also sent some guards to protect the mountain and I sent word to the villages surrounding the mountain. They know to keep their eyes open and the mountain should be well protected for now.”

“What is our plan for the missile in the mountain?” The Broadleaf Chief Braxton asked.

Lexa turned to Skaikru, knowing they would be able to answer better than she could. “We have Raven and Monty working to try and hack into the mountains missile system. We are trying to find a way to take control of the missile and disable it so Emerson can’t use it,” Marcus explained.

“And if they can’t?”

“We are also trying to get into the self destruct system for the mountain. If they do, it will destroy the mountain and the missile in the process,” Marcus answered.

“That is still an if,” Braxton said. 

“Well we are the only ones who know how to use technology,” Marcus countered. “The only other person who can use the missile is Emerson. So if we can’t destroy the missile on our own, then we need to destroy Emerson.”

The room went back and forth on what do about Emerson. Some wanted to storm Azgeda, others wanted to just wait for him to come to them. There were a lot of debates, but no real plan was made. Without knowing Emerson’s location there wasn’t much they could do.

Then the conversation turned away from the mountain and on to their opponents. If they wanted to plan a war, they needed to know their enemies. It was clear that Nia wanted the throne, but why were the other clans working with her? Did they believe in her rule? Did they think she would be a better leader than Lexa was? Did she promise them something? Were they being blackmailed like Clarke was? What was going on?

The Delphi Chief, Joanna, opened up talking about Rock Line. “I don’t know what happened,” she explained. Delphi and Rock Line had been close allies. Recently, their relations had been strained and it was strange. “Our relations started to plummet after the deaths of Maximus and Daniel. They always had the ear of King Brock and the support of the people, and they were supporters of you and the coalition. After their deaths, Brock grew colder, demanded more from my clan in our trade deals, and our relations strained.”

Lexa took in the words and nodded. Then turned to the Trishanakru Captain, Simon, “What of Sankru?”

“I really don’t know what to tell you Commander. It is only recently that we have been having problems. After the death of Ambassador Julius, I tried to talk to Chief Gallo but he refused to meet with me. He said he was tired of being taken advantage of by my clan, which makes no sense to me. Our deals have always been more than fair, and there were never any signs or complaints from Sankru that they felt they were being taken advantage of,” Simon said.

Lexa took in this information too. It seems that the deaths of some of the people close to the leaders of the clans allying with Nia effected their alliances. She needed to see if it was the same for Shallow Valley. She looked to Braxton, “What of Shallow Valley?”

At this point, Clarke was lost in her own mind. She recognized the names of Maximus, Daniel, and Julius and she was starting connect the dots in her head. A sinking feeling of dread was felt in her stomach and she struggled not to pace the floor as she waited for Braxton’s answer.

“When General Seth was killed, Shallow Valley lost their wisest and calmest general. King Zayn is young. He only took power a little while ago. Seth was always the one to keep him calm and help make rational decisions. After Seth’s death, he grew more power hungry. We kept our trade arrangements in place, but he was starting to get greedy. We were still in talks about our latest deal and still have not come to an agreement,” Braxton answered.

That was not the answer Clarke was hoping for and a sick realization started to take root in her mind. She recognized the names that all the clan leaders were talking about. She was starting to panic, this was all her fault, but she was snapped out of her thoughts when Lexa spoke. She had listened to what everyone had to say about the other clans and came to the conclusion that Nia was able to manipulate the leaders. When they lost the words of those they trusted, they turned to Nia. Now Lexa needed to figure out how to turn them back. “Thank you all for today. I will take all of this information and discuss further with some of my generals. You should do the same. We reconvene tomorrow.”

/////

Nia paced back and forth inside her tent. She was seething, frustrated beyond anything. She was inside her tent that had been set up on her retreat from Polis to Azgeda. Her plan did not go as planned and she was not happy.

She had made a sound plan. Clarke had forced Lexa’s hand allowing her the opportunity to lay down a challenge. They had grown close enough that she knew Lexa would be too weak to kill Clarke. She had provided incentive for Clarke to kill Lexa and she expected it to work.

The whole reason she was able to control Clarke in the first place was because the blonde wanted to protect her people. She followed Nia’s every order to keep them safe and out of harm’s way. She figured that the promise of Emerson’s death and the elimination of the missile would be enough for Clarke to kill the Commander.

Once the Commander was dead she would take control. Thanks to the bonding between her son and Clarke, Nia was allowed to bring in more Azgeda warriors without looking like a threat in Polis. Once Clarke killed the Commander she was going to use her army along with the armies of her allied clans to lay claim on Polis.

She would take out anyone important that would oppose her and in the chaos and confusion, she would take control. By the time everything would have calmed down, it would have been to late. All threats to her would have been dead, Polis would have been under her control, and all the clans would be forced to follow and accept her rule.

She had of course been aware that she may need to be prepared for Clarke to fail. She didn’t expect it, but it was possible. If Clarke had died, her men would still attack the Commander. In her grief, after the death of her second love, the kill would be easy.

If the Commander came up with her own plan. If she tried to give a speech to her people or attempt an assassination, as she did, she would be ready. Her people would attack anyway. They would kill the Commander themselves and again in the confusion she would take control. Her plan was sound. She was prepared for multiple scenarios. It should have worked.

She hadn’t expected Lexa and Clarke to fight so well together, she hadn’t expected the Commander’s guards and allies to react as quickly as they had, and she hadn’t expected the citizens of Polis to react at all. She had the advantage at the beginning, but she soon realized that she had underestimated the Commander and her people, and that infuriated her.

She had been forced to call a retreat and now here she was, in a makeshift camp hidden in Trikru territory. She had the clan leaders who supported her with her. This is not how she wanted things to go.

She wanted everything to be simple. She should be the Commander already. Lexa should be dead. Now she had to lead six clans in a war against Heda and now Wanheda. It was a huge inconvenience and she was not pleased.

Nia was interrupted from her brooding when her guard announced the other five clan leaders outside. She took her place in front of her war table and called for their entrance.

The five leaders entered and each took their place around the table. “You all failed me today,” she growled.

“All due respect Queen Nia, you had the largest army within the gates of Polis and you were the one who was supposed to be in control of Wanheda,” King Zayn of the Shallow Valley said.

Nia’s eyes narrowed as she glared at the boy. He was young, foolish, and that’s why she went for him. He was easy to manipulate and his alliance with her was important. The Shallow Valley had a decent sized army with skilled warriors and their spies were some of the best the coalition had to offer. She needed to keep his alliance, but she didn’t have to like him. “You do not want to get on my bad side boy,” she sneered.

“I am a King. You will not speak to me in such a way,” he fought back. He was naive and arrogant and Nia needed to put him in his place. 

“I will do whatever I please,” Nia sneered and before Zayn could react, Nia pulled out her dagger and threw it towards his hand that was resting on the table. The blade cut through his hand, pinning it to the table. Zayn cried out in pain as Nia slowly approached and then ripped the dagger from the injured hand.

Zayn recoiled, pulling his hand into his body and whimpered in pain. Nia got into his face and glared at him. “I am in charge here. You will learn your place or you will not like the consequences.” Zayn tore his eyes from her cold, dead ones and he nodded his head quickly.

Nia nodded, satisfied that he knew his place, and she returned to her original place around the war table. “Now onto our plan. I don’t care if you return to your clans or send a messenger in your place, but I want each of your armies mobilized. I want them ready to move at a moments notice. I will give you each further, separate instructions later. Now go.”

The remaining leaders all nodded and left the tent to follow their orders, not wanting to anger Nia and feel her rage as Zayn had.

When her tent had been cleared out, Nia stepped out herself in search of her fastest rider. She had a threat to make good on. 

She found him standing by a fire with a small group of warriors. He bowed when she approached, ready to follow whatever order she gave, “My Queen.”

“Ride to Emerson. Send him and a small contingent of warriors to Maun-de.” Nia ordered with a sick smile. This was what she had promised Clarke would happen with her betrayal, and she would make good on that.

She watched as he bowed and then ran off to follow her orders. She turned to the rest of the warriors that were by the fire pit, “Someone find my son. Send him to me.”

/////

Lexa was in her throne room. She was speaking to Luna, Indra, and Titus. She had yet to decide his punishment, but she would find time for it soon. His disregard for her orders had allowed Rosco to help Emerson escape, in turn leading to this entire situation. To say she was displeased with him would be a major understatement.

Clarke was in the throne room as well but she out on the balcony by herself. Lexa had noticed the faroff look in her eyes, but she hadn’t had the opportunity to speak with the blonde yet. 

The opportunity still never arose as Octavia and Raven entered her throne room. “What’s up Commander?” Raven said as she entered the room, not caring that Lexa was in the middle of a conversation.

Titus glared at her, Indra rolled her eyes, Luna smirked, and Lexa just looked unimpressed. “Luna you may go check on your people, Indra please check on our people as well and please make sure that the Trikru army is ready to move on my Command. Titus, just leave.”

Luna and Indra bowed and left without question. Titus looked ready to argue, but the death glare that was throne his way sent him off. 

When they were gone Lexa turned to the two Skaikru, “Did Skaikru not teach respect back in space?”

Raven shrugged, “Not really.”

Octavia had to choke back a laugh and Lexa rolled her eyes. “How is it going with the mountain,” she questioned, getting to the reason she asked Octavia to find Raven for her.

“Slow. Monty and I are in contact with our guys in the mountain and we’re trying our best, but we’re not very close to disabling the missile,” she answered.

“What do you need to make things work faster?”

“Honestly, I need to be in Mount Weather. There just isn’t enough technology here that will be able to help me. If you want me to be able to do this, I need to get into the mountain,” she replied.

“Then you will. Prepare to leave. I will speak with the clan leaders again and we will decide who will escort you and what we need to do,” Lexa said.

Raven gave a mock salute, “Aye, aye Commander.”

“I’m coming with you,” Clarke’s voice came from the entrance of the balcony. She stepped into the room and down the dais to stand with the others. “I need to be there in case Emerson shows up.”

“You’re injuries are not healed yet,” Lexa brought up.

“I don’t care. I need to get out of here. I need to protect my people. I need to make up for what I’ve done,” Clarke whispered.

“You didn’t do this,” Octavia stated.

Clarke shook her head and looked down to the ground. “But I did. This war, it’s all my fault.”

“No it’s not Clarke,” Lexa argued. “It’s no one but Nia’s.”

“No you don’t understand,” Clarke croaked. She closed her eyes, defeated. That wasn’t true. This was all her fault. Images of Julius, Daniel, Maximus, and Seth all popped into her head. All of them dead by her hand. She could picture each scene perfectly, like she was standing above their bodies, dressed in all black, bloody knife in hand. “Daniel kom Boudalan, Maximus kom Boudalan, Julius kom Sankru, Seth kom Louwoda Kilron. The reasons that Rock Line, Sankru, and Shallow Valley follow Queen Nia. I killed them.”

“What are you talking about Clarke?” Raven questioned.

“They were all killed by The Shadow,” Lexa said, a deep fear building in her gut.

Clarke closed her eyes and her shoulders deflated before she looked up and stared into green. She had to tell them, she had to. They needed to know the truth, know that this war was all her fault. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and she felt nauseous.

She had dreamed of telling her friends and telling Lexa that she was The Shadow and they never ended well. They always called her monster, they looked at her in disgust, with hate in their eyes. Sometimes they called for her death, and they carried out without remorse. She probably deserved it too, but that didn’t matter now. They had to know. They deserved the truth and it was foolish for her to keep it secret now. Her abilities would be useful in this war and it would be naive of her to think that Nia would keep her identity a secret. Nia may not tell anyone the truth right away, but once she had the opportunity to tell people who she was and get an explosive response, she would take it. She couldn’t risk them finding out her identity from someone else. She had to tell them the truth, even if it meant she would lose the people she loved.

Clarke took a deep breath and steeled herself for the looks of disgust she knew were about to be thrown her way. “I am The Shadow.”

“WHAT?” Raven and Octavia both yelled. Lexa was frozen. She only stared into Clarke’s eyes, looking for some sign that Clarke was lying, but she saw none. It would explain a lot. Clarke’s skill and fighting style, the sad look that never quite left her eyes, the way that she seemed unfazed by death, even the timeline of Clarke’s disappearance and time spent training, and then the appearance of The Shadow lined up. Clarke was telling the truth.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke rasped, holding back her tears.

“You told us you were trained to be a warrior. That all your time in Azgeda was spent training you for Nia’s army. How much of your story was the truth?” Octavia questioned.

“I told you most of the truth,” Clarke replied. “I was captured in the woods, I was sent to the Crater, I was tortured for months, and Dak did train me. Only he trained me to be an assassin instead of a warrior,” Clarke explained. “You may know him better as Dream Eater.”

“You were trained by Dream Eater?” Octavia questioned. She was still struggling to comprehend all that was being told. She had heard stories of the greatest Azgeda assassin, but he had disappeared months ago.

“Who the hell is Dream Eater?” Raven asked.

“He was the best assassin in the coalition. Until he died and The Shadow took his place,” Clarke replied.

“I don’t understand,” Raven said, her head spinning. “Clarke, how could you be an assassin?”

“Queen Nia had Emerson, she threatened Skaikru. She broke me, and I let her, to keep my people safe. To keep you guys safe,” she whispered shakily.

Clarke expected hate. She expected her friends to call her weak for falling to Nia, to call her a monster. Instead the two girls wrapped her up in a tight hug, tears leaking from their eyes, “You saved us again,” Raven whispered into her neck.

The three disentangled themselves from each other. “You gave up your soul for us. You are the strongest person that I have ever known,” Octavia said sincerely.

“I’m not strong,” Clarke whispered.

“You are. You sacrificed yourself for us again. You gave yourself up to her, but you never let her beat you. I heard stories of The Shadow. Almost all of your kills were quick and painless, unlike most assassins. You let them go in peace. You showed up in Polis and you were still standing, still going strong, still protecting our people. You never gave up who you are, what you believe. That, is strong,” Octavia argued.

Clarke swallowed thickly and a few tears finally fell. She hugged her friends again in thanks before wiping her eyes and facing Lexa. The brunette hadn’t said a word so far and Clarke had yet to look in her eyes since she revealed herself. She couldn’t. “I’m sorry Lexa, I… I’m so sorry,” she choked out.

Lexa didn’t say anything still and Clarke calmed herself before continuing. “I want to help end this war, end Nia’s reign. I owe it to everyone to do that, and I think The Shadow will provide a great assistance. When it’s over, I’ll turn myself in.”

“No,” Lexa replied immediately, speaking for the first time.

“No?” Clarke questioned.

“No, you will not turn yourself in,” Lexa said with determination. “No one will know who you are.”

“Lexa, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Clarke replied.

“No Clarke,” Lexa cried. “No one will know.”

“Lexa, Nia already knows. She’ll use it against me, against you. I can’t let her do that.”

“And I can’t lose you,” Lexa yelled. “Nia has taken enough from me already. She will not take the woman I love, not again.”

Clarke looked up and blue met green for the first time since Clarke’s reveal, “You still love me?”

Lexa shook her head, “Of course I still love you. Nothing could ever, ever, make me stop.” With that she surged forward and their lips collided in a heated kiss. One that promised Clarke that she was sincere and one that allowed Clarke to feel relief for the first time that day.

They broke apart and stared into each others eyes. Raven and Octavia were standing off to the side, smiling at the exchange. They had never seen Clarke and Lexa together and they were not disappointed with what they saw.

“Okay, we won’t tell anyone,” Clarke conceded. “What do we do?”

“We work carefully. I need to know who knows about you. I need to know everything you can tell me about Nia, and we need to be careful. Nia could try to reveal you at any point and we need to make sure she doesn’t. We work carefully, we work together, and we win this war. I will not lose you, Clarke,” Lexa said with determination.

“We’re not done,” Clarke whispered and she brought her lips to Lexa’s again. “I love you,” she whispered in between breaths.

“I think we should go,” Raven whispered to Octavia from where they were standing. Octavia nodded and the two started their retreat from the throne room.

Clarke must have heard them because she pulled away from Lexa and she spoke, “Thank you guys,” she said. The two smiled and nodded before leaving the room.

Clarke turned back to look at Lexa and she was filled with relief. The green eyes that were looking back at he showed no signs of disgust or hate or any other negative emotion. They showed love and Clarke had never felt more relieved or loved in her entire life. “Thank you too. For not looking at me any differently than you did before.”

“You’re still the same person,” Lexa answered. “You’re unbelievably strong, infuriatingly stubborn, and the most amazing woman I have ever met. I love you. No matter what happens in the future, no matter what happened in your past. My love for you will never waver, will never change, and will never fail. I will love you in this life and the next.” And then their lips collided again in the most passionate kiss they had yet to share.

Yes, there was still a lot they needed to talk about, a lot that they needed to do, but they were together. They were still standing, still fighting, still in love, and for now, that was enough.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's the next chapter. This one was really fun for me to write and I hope you all like it. Please leave your comments and let me know what you think. I really love and appreciate hearing all that you have to say. Enjoy!
> 
> Also, I wanted to ask you guys your opinion on Arkadia. Is there some sort of plotline or character that you guys want to see or would you rather I just leave it alone and mention it when necessary but don't really talk about too much otherwise. Let me know what you think.

After a few days of riding, the group finally made it to the entrance to Mount Weather. Clarke had been adamant that she ride out with Raven and Monty, and Lexa had been unwilling to let the blonde leave her sight. She left Luna and the other clan leaders in charge of Polis and saddled up her own horse for their journey to the mountain.

The journey was easy. There were no problems and there was a lot of time for Lexa to think. Her and Clarke had talked a little more about her being The Shadow, but there was still a lot more for them to talk about. Lexa didn’t blame the blonde. She was trying to protect her people and Nia was torturing her. Anyone would have done as Nia ordered. 

Lexa used the time she had to think of all the ways she was going to make Nia suffer and coming up with her own thoughts on how to keep Clarke and her identity safe. She wasn’t going to let anything else happen to the woman she loved. She kept her thoughts on these issues for most of the journey, unless she was speaking with someone, and after days of travel, they finally made it.

So here they were, Heda, Wanheda, and a decent sized contingent of warriors stopping in the clearing in front of Mount Weather. A Trikru warrior dropped from a tree and approached his leader. “Heda,” he said with a slight bow of his head. “There have been scouts on watch ever since your order reached us. No one has attempted to approach the mountain.”

“Thank you. You may return to your post,” Lexa said. The man bowed and did as he was told. Lexa turned to the rest of her men, “We set up camp here. I want scouts reporting to me of anyone found near the mountain, and I want eyes on the entrance at all times. We do what needs to be done and eliminate the threat here, before Nia can make her first strike.”

A chorus of ‘sha heda’ was heard and everyone quickly began to make camp. Lexa and Clarke both climbed down from their saddle and faced the mountain. Clarke took a shaky breath as she stared at the giant metal door that lead into her own personal hell. Images of her past flashed through her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself to clear her head of those memories.

It was true that she had learned to accept and live with what she had done in the mountain all that time ago, but being back here was certainly not a comfortable feeling. “Clarke, are you alright?” Lexa asked, noticing the blondes obvious distress.

Clarke shook her head to rid herself of her thoughts, “I’m good.”

Lexa was going to question her further, but, Raven, Monty, Octavia, Lincoln, and Indra approached. “Let’s do this,” Raven said, leading the way inside.

The group followed behind and wove their way through the metal hallways until they came up to the control center. Sinclair and Gina were inside and they turned to greet the group when they arrived. “It’s good to see you guys,” Sinclair started. “I have everything set up as you requested Raven. We aren’t any further on trying to disable the missile.”

Raven moved to the set of computers and took a seat in the chair grinning at the technology that surrounded her, “Well don’t worry. Genius extraordinaire Raven Reyes will figure it out.”

“Good to know my own knowledge is important too,” Monty said sarcastically, taking a seat beside Raven.

“Aww Monty, don’t worry. I can always use an assistant,” Raven joked.

Monty rolled his eyes and started to type something, “Yeah, yeah. Let’s just figure this out.”

Raven nodded and started typing on her own keyboard. “You guys don’t all have to wait in here. I’m a genius and I’ll figure this out, but genius takes time. I’ll let you know when I get close,” Raven said, eyes never leaving the screen before her. 

“I’m out,” Octavia said quickly, not wanting to stick around and wait for Raven to start talking technology to her again. She had listened to Raven’s rambling enough back in Polis, and she never understood a word that was said to her, so the opportunity to avoid the technology talk was not one she was going to pass up. Lincoln grinned at her eagerness to leave and followed her out along with Indra. 

Sinclair and Gina both took their own seats in front of a computer and got back to the work they had been doing before their friends arrived. 

Lexa wanted to leave as well, not liking the unnatural walls of the mountain, but she wasn’t leaving without Clarke and the blonde was frozen in place, staring at the ground for some reason. She had zoned out the moment they entered the room and for some reason, her eyes automatically locked onto a spot on the ground and hadn’t moved since.

Lexa approached her cautiously, knowing that this was not a place that Clarke would feel comfortable being in, and something had clearly spooked her. “Clarke?” Lexa questioned softly.

“That’s where I shot him,” Clarke said, her eyes never leaving the floor.

“What?” 

“Dante. He was standing right there. He posed no threat, and I shot him in the chest. I wanted to convince his son that I wasn’t weak and that I would do what needed to be done to save my people. I only made it worse. I watched as he bled out right in front of me,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa knew reliving these memories would do nothing good for Clarke. She wrapped her hand around the blonde’s bicep, “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

“No. I need to see the rest,” Clarke said. She turned on her heels quickly and left the control room, walking deeper into the mountain. Lexa sighed before leaving the room, following behind the blonde.

Clarke walked with determination, knowing exactly where she wanted to go. She didn’t stop until she came up to the dining hall. The last time she had entered this room, it was full of bodies and the acrid stench of burning flesh. Since then, the room had obviously been cleaned, but Clarke could still see them. She could see where the bodies had fallen.

She slowly walked into the room and stopped in the spot she remembered standing when she looked down at Maya. Her skin was burnt and bleeding and Jasper was holding onto her, sobbing, yelling at her for killing the girl he had grown to care about maybe even love.

Clarke closed her eyes to keep her tears from falling and took another step forward. She still remembered how the room looked. She didn’t know anyone from the mountain, but she remembered where the little boy’s body had crumpled. She could still see the mother holding onto her dead infant and the teenage girl who had a book in her hand. She could see each of their bodies laid out and she swore she could hear them whispering to her now, blaming her for their deaths, calling her a murderer.

Clarke couldn’t take it. She sunk to her knees and squeezed her eyes shut, but not before a few tears escaped. She had accepted what she did long ago, she did what she had to do, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel for these people. 

She could feel herself starting to spiral, but before she could fall, she felt strong arms wrap around her. Lexa had given Clarke her space. She didn’t know exactly what had happened in this room, but it was clear that whatever did, was hurting Clarke immensely.

She left the blonde to walk the room, but when she dropped onto her knees, Lexa had to intervene. She couldn’t let the blonde succumb to whatever pain was resurfacing, and she couldn’t let her lose herself in it. “Clarke, look at me,” Lexa requested.

“I killed them all. This is the room where their bodies burned,” she croaked.

“You did what you had to do,” Lexa said.

Clarke opened her eyes and shifted out of the hug she was in to stare fully into green. “I know. But that doesn’t make the children any less innocent. They didn’t know what was happening. And Maya and some others, they tried to help. Without them, we wouldn’t have won, and I killed them all.” Clarke sighed and her shoulders deflated a little more, “I have killed so many people since I landed here. I killed over three hundred of your people, I killed over three hundred in the mountain, and I killed so many as The Shadow. Some were guilty. A lot were innocent.”

She turned away, unable to look into Lexa’s eyes. “You should hate me,” she whispered.

Lexa raised Clarke’s chin so their eyes met and she shook her head. “Never. You did what you had to, and it hurts, but it’s what needed to be done. You have sacrificed so much for your people because they asked you to, because they needed you to. And it’s not fair. Trust me, I know. They needed someone to make the hard choices, to do what needed to be done because they couldn’t, so they turned to you. They expected you to make these sacrifices and they judged you and blamed you and they didn’t understand you, and it hurts and it’s not fair. It’s not fair of them to ask you to sacrifice everything, but they can’t, so they asked you because you are the only one who can.”

“But I don’t want to,” Clarke rasped, eyes wet with tears.

“No one ever does, but you have to anyway. You do what needs to be done. You carry the pain, you make the sacrifices, because they’re your people. Because it’s your job to keep them safe. So you do it, no matter the pain,” Lexa replied.

“But how do you live with it?”

“You push forward, and you keep doing what needs to be done. You live for your people, for those who need you, and you find a way to hold on to who you are. You find a way to remind yourself that you’re a good person, that you’re still you, even after everything you’ve done. You find a way to hold onto your humanity and you find a way to move on as best you can,” Lexa explained.

“How do _you_ live with it?” Clarke asked weakly, desperate for an answer.

Lexa swallowed. “For a long time, I didn’t. I did what I had to do, but my demons were eating me alive. I suffered, and I let the pain consume me, and I lost my humanity. And then something changed. I met an infuriatingly stubborn, unbelievably strong woman who challenged me at every turn. She helped me to remember who I am; she helped me find my humanity again. She helped me find myself again, and helped me to save my people and reminded me of what I’m fighting for and why I’m fighting for it. She makes it easier for me to wake every morning and continue to make sacrifices, and I hope that I can return the favor,” Lexa finished, her eyes boring into Clarke’s with so much love and admiration.

“I love you,” Clarke whispered before leaning in to capture the brunettes lips. Their bodies molded together and Clarke felt a weight lift from her shoulders, and a new determination set in. She could do this. She could fight and make sacrifices for her people because she had Lexa by her side to help pull her out of the dark when she needed it. She didn’t have to shoulder this pain alone and suddenly, it all became a little more manageable.

/////

“What is all this?” Lexa asked as Clarke looked through a box full of supplies.

“They’re medical supplies,” Clarke answered and she pulled out various items and explained to Lexa what they did.

They were in a large warehouse full of supplies in the mountain. Everyone figured that if they couldn’t disable the missile but found a way to make it self destruct, then they should look around see if there are any supplies worth keeping. So Clarke, Lexa, Bellamy, Echo, Octavia, Lincoln, Indra, Abby, and Kane were all in this room rummaging through supplies.

The mountain had a lot of stuff. Skaikru had taken all of the important items they could find and brought them back to Arkadia already, but they figured it wouldn’t hurt to take a look around and see if they could find anything that was missed or hidden that would be worth taking. “Anyone find anything good?” Clarke asked.

“Just some useless junk,” Bellamy replied.

“I found a few medical supplies over here, but it’s nothing too important,” Abby answered.

“Nothing good over here either,” Octavia reported. “It looks like we already got everything that we could use.”

“Yeah you’re probably right. Let’s keep looking anyway. Maybe we’ll find something, and we have to pass the time somehow,” Clarke replied. The group grunted their assent and they continued their search for supplies.

/////

“Damn it!” Raven yelled frustratedly. “They really didn’t want anyone getting into this missile system.”

“Can you blame them?” Monty asked from beside her, fingers still typing away.

Raven sighed, “No, but I just want to figure this out. I want get rid of this threat to our people, and it’s the least I could do for Clarke. This is the reason she was forced to serve that Ice Bitch and we owe it to her to disable the missile.”

“And we will,” Monty said turning to put a comforting hand on Raven’s shoulder. “Just keep working. You’re a genius remember, you got this.”

Raven nodded her head in thanks and the two got back to work. “How the hell did Dante even remember this launch code?” Raven questioned as she typed more code.

“Maybe he wrote it down somewhere?” Monty suggested.

“Maybe,” Raven considered. She turned to Gina and Sinclair, “Did you guys look anywhere to see if they wrote down the codes?”

“I looked around here, but I didn’t see anything. I wasn’t really sure where else I should look,” Gina replied.

“Dante could have had it in his office,” Raven said.

“Where is that? I’ll go check it out,” Gina replied.

Monty pulled up a map of the facility and showed Gina where to go. “Here, take a radio with you,” Monty said once he finished giving her directions. He handed her the radio, “Keep in touch. Let us know if you find anything.”

“Will do,” Gina said and she made her way down to the president's office. 

/////

Emerson and his group came up to the backside of the mountain where the third and final entrance to Mount Weather was located. Not many people knew about it and the terrain around it was very dangerous, so it wasn’t used often. It’s the route Emerson had used to escape the mountain without being seen after Cage and his people died, and it was how he was going to get back into the mountain now.

He had been escorted to the mountain by a group of maybe thirty Azgeda warriors, but he had insisted that only a few would be able to come with him to the entrance. The rocky slope was slippery and dangerous and any more than a few would cause problems.

The warriors had argued at first, but eventually agreed. Those who stayed behind set up camp for Emerson’s return and he took only four guards with him. 

Emerson came up to the metal door that would get him back into his old home. He reached for the panel beside it and entered a five digit code before hearing a click and the door unlocked.

He pushed it open and entered the dark, metal hallway of Mount Weather, the four Azgeda warriors behind him.

They had scouted out the area a while ago and learned that Clarke, the Commander and some of her best warriors were currently inside the mountain. Emerson knew the control room would be occupied and likely guarded so he wouldn’t be able to get in that way.

At this point all he wanted was his revenge on Clarke, and he would get it with her death. He had wanted to make her suffer in the same way that he did, but he just didn’t have the opportunity and he was tired of waiting. Her death would be enough. 

All Nia wanted was the death of the Commander and she was in the mountain, so Emerson figured he’d go stray from Nia’s orders. He was supposed to launch the missile at Arkadia, but he wouldn’t be able to do that without making it to the control room. Instead he figured he blow the mountain up, kill Clarke and the Commander in one go and be done with it.

He led the warriors down a series of hallways before he came up to President Wallace’s old office. He expected to be alone, but he heard a voice coming from inside, so he crouched down to hear.

“There’s nothing in here,” Gina said into her radio. 

“Just keep looking,” Raven replied.

Emerson could tell that the second voice was coming over a radio, so whoever was in that room was in there alone. He ordered one of the guards to kill her and he slowly snuck into the room.

Gina had her back faced to the entrance and was looking through a stack of papers she had pulled from Dante’s old desk. She was talking into the radio as she read. The guard came up from behind her and stabbed her in the stomach twice before he dropped her unceremoniously to the ground. 

Emerson entered the room once saw the girl hit the floor and he walked to Dante’s desk. He pulled out a knife and cut through some material on the desk to reveal a panel.

As he was working he heard a voice come over the radio, “Gina… Gina are you there… Gina answer me.”

Emerson continued his work, pulling the panel up from the desk and turning it on. The screen lit up and Emerson pulled up a screen with with the words ‘SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE’. He entered the code quickly and then ran from the room with the other Azgeda warriors quickly on his heels.

He was going to escape through the old Reaper Tunnels because the way they came in would be too unstable after an explosion. He ran down the halls quickly, knowing them by heart, making his escape.

/////

Gina gasped as she tried to bring enough oxygen into her lungs. Blood was pouring from the puncture wounds in her gut and her vision was starting to blur. 

She had stayed on the ground in shock when the men had entered, but she snapped out of it when they left her alone in the room. She pushed herself to her knees and grabbed the radio before crawling over to see what the men in the room had just done. “Raven… Raven come in,” she choked. Her eyes widened as she took in what was on the screen.

“Gina? Gina what’s going on?” Raven asked from the radio.

“Raven someone got into the mountain. They started the self-destruct sequence. The mountain is going to blow in less than two minutes. You need to get out now,” Gina managed to say between breaths. She was starting to lose focus and she knew she wasn’t going to last much longer.

/////

Raven, Monty, and Sinclair were all on their feet, waiting to hear a response from Gina. One minute they had been in the middle of a conversation, the next there was a gasping breath and then silence. 

“Raven… Raven come in,” They heard Gina’s voice through the radio. She was panting and she sounded like she was in pain. Something was wrong.

“Gina? Gina what’s going on?” Raven asked as she looked onto the panicked faces of Monty and Sinclair who likely matched her own expression.

“Raven someone got into the mountain. They started the self-destruct sequence. The mountain is going to blow in less than two minutes. You need to get out now,” they heard through the radio.

Monty turned to the computer he had been using and started typing before a timer came up on the screen. It was at 1:36 and counting down. “Holy shit,” Raven breathed as her and Monty both raced to their keyboards to try and stop it.

“Raven, this isn’t going to work,” Monty said after a few seconds. “There are more people in the mountain. We need to warn them and get them out.”

“We’ll never make it to them in time,” Sinclair said.

“An intercom, please tell me there’s an intercom,” Raven prayed.

“There is!” Monty said and he started to pull it up.

“Gina?” Raven questioned into the radio as Monty worked. No response. “Gina?” Raven said louder, again with no response. “Shit,” she yelled, knowing why there was no response.

“Okay talk in here,” Monty directed Raven.

“Guys,” Raven said, her voice filling the halls of the entire facility. “The Mountain has been infiltrated. It’s set to blow in one minute. Everyone get out now.”

“What do we do now?” Monty asked when Raven was done.

“We get the hell out of here,” Raven replied before she took off through the exit as fast as her bad leg could take her, Monty and Sinclair following behind.

/////

“Hey, I found a weapons crate,” Bellamy exclaimed as he pulled a box off a shelf full of guns.

“Nice work,” Marcus said coming over to take a look at what Bellamy found.

Everyone else in the room came over to take a look too after having no success in their sections they had been checking out. “At least we got something,” Bellamy said to the group.

Before anyone could respond, they heard a crackling noise over the intercoms in the room and they all jumped when they heard Raven’s voice come through. “Guys,” they heard her voice come through, sounding panicked. “The Mountain has been infiltrated. It’s set to blow in one minute. Everyone get out now.”

The group all looked at each other with wide eyes, frozen in place for a moment before Clarke broke the spell they were all in. “Run!” She yelled and her and Lexa took the lead to escape the mountain, Bellamy and everyone else following behind them, and Octavia and Lincoln taking up the rear.

They ran through the maze of hallways as fast as they could when Octavia caught movement out of the corner of her eye. She paused to take a look and saw a familiar face before he turned down a different hallway. “Emerson,” she growled, and she changed directions, taking off after the last Mountain Man.

“Octavia,” Lincoln called grabbing her arm to stop her.

“He got away from me once. I’ll be damned if he does it again,” she said and she ran deeper into the mountain, chasing after him.

Lincoln groaned as he watched Octavia take off in the opposite direction of the exit and he sprinted behind her.

/////

Raven, Sinclair, and Monty were the first to get out of the mountain. They ran from the entrance and yelled at the grounders who were camped outside to run with them away from the exit. It took them a moment to understand what was going on, before they all started to run away from Mount Weather.

Clarke, Lexa and the others emerged from the mountain next and they sprinted away from the entrance to catch up with Raven and the others. When they felt they were a comfortable distance away, they stopped to catch their breath.

Bellamy looked around and noticed his sister was missing. “Where the hell is Octavia?” He yelled, dread sinking into the pit of his stomach.

Clarke looked around and noticed that her and Lincoln weren’t with them. “They’re still in there,” she realized and she started to run back towards the mountain.

“Clarke, No!” Lexa yelled and she took off after the blonde to stop her.

Clarke ignored her and she ran forward. She wasn’t going to lose anyone else to this damn mountain. She almost made it back to the door.

BOOM!

Clarke and Lexa were thrown backwards as flames burst from the entrance of the mountain. Lexa was launched backwards onto the ground landing hard on her back and Clarke was sent colliding into a tree.

Lexa sat up groaning, her ears ringing, and she immediately looked for Clarke.

Her eyes scanned the area and they caught sight of blonde on the ground underneath a tree. She pushed herself to her feet, ignoring the pain she felt course through her and she sprinted towards her. “Clarke,” she yelled as she bent down beside her love.

Blue eyes were open but unfocused. Lexa put both her hands on Clarke’s cheeks and held her face so they made eye contact, “Clarke. Clarke you’re okay,” Lexa said frantically.

Clarke groaned as she looked up at the blurry figure above her. Her ears were ringing and she could feel blood dripping down the side of her face. Her back had to be badly bruised and her head was pounding.

She felt two hands on her cheeks and she heard something above her, but couldn’t make out the sounds. She slowly sat up and wave of pain ran down her spine causing a whimper to escape her lips.

The sound only made Lexa panic more and she tried to comfort the blonde, checking her over for any major visible injuries. The next moment Abby was at her side and she started looking over her daughter.

She ran through a few checks quickly before Clarke seemed to finally regain her senses. She pushed her mother away and looked at the still burning entrance to the mountain.

She used Lexa and the tree behind her to help her to her feet and she stared at the mountain, waiting, hoping, that Octavia and Lincoln would walk out, but nothing happened.

“No!” She heard Bellamy scream out in anguish and she turned in his direction to watch him drop to his knees, tears pouring from his eyes.

Echo stood behind him with a hand on his shoulder and Raven limped over to him and crouched down beside him. She wrapped her arms around him and her own tears fell. 

Clarke looked back to the mountain before turning to face Lexa. She couldn’t stop the tears from spilling out of her eyes. “No,” she whispered before she collapsed into her lovers arms.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's the next chapter. This one took me a while to write and I rewrote it multiple times. I'm not a hundred percent happy with it, but I still like it. I hope you guys do too. Let me know what you think, I love hearing from you guys. Enjoy!

Clarke groaned as she slowly opened her eyes. She was in a tent and it wasn’t very bright inside, but the light affected her eyes anyway. She squinted to try and decrease the brightness and brought her arm up to cover her eyes, only to groan louder as she pulled at her injuries.

She felt a hand grab onto hers and lower her arm slowly back down onto the bed she was laying on. “Clarke?” She heard her favorite voice filter in her ears. She opened her eyes fully to see Lexa leaning over her, a look of concern on her face, and a moment later her mom appeared on the other side of her bed. 

Clarke tried to sit up and she felt two sets of arms helping to maneuver her body to sit up with as little pain as possible. “Ugh, what happened,” she croaked.

Lexa brought a cup up to Clarke’s lips and helped her drink from it while her mother explained her injuries, “You have a minor concussion, a laceration on your forehead which I already stitched up and contusions on your ribs and spine. I want to keep in eye on you to make sure the impact didn’t cause any internal injuries.”

The word impact seemed to be the spark Clarke needed to remember exactly what had happened. “Octavia and Lincoln?” She asked, no longer caring about her own condition and praying that they somehow survived.

Abby’s face fell and she shook her head, “I’m so sorry Clarke.”

Clarke’s shoulders sunk into the bed and her eyes burned with unshed tears. She exhaled shakily before looking to her mother, “Bellamy and Raven?”

“They’re okay. I’ll go find them, they’ve been waiting rather anxiously for you to wake up,” her mother said. She smiled sadly and squeezed Clarke’s arm comfortingly before leaving the tent.

Clarke played the previous events over in her head and vaguely remembered Lexa running after her as she raced back towards the mountain before it exploded. Her eyes widened and she turned to the girl still sitting beside her, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine Clarke,” Lexa answered.

Clarke stared at Lexa and raised an eyebrow, not believing her for a second. Lexa rolled her eyes, “Fine, I took some damage to my ribs, but I’m fine. You got the worst of it and your mother already checked me over.”

Clarke looked at the brunette for a moment before she seemed to accept the answer. Then her thoughts drifted to Octavia and Lincoln. “They’re gone Lex,” Clarke whispered. “It’s all my fault.”

“No Clarke, it’s not,” Lexa said reaching up to brush a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

“It is though. Everywhere I go, death follows. I can’t even save the people I’m trying to protect,” her voice cracked.

“Don’t do that. It’s not true,” Lexa argued.

“How can you say that? Do you know anyone responsible for more death than I am?”

“Me,” Lexa answered simply. “Every loss that occurs in my coalition, is my responsibility. I am responsible for more death than anyone.”

“That’s not fair Lex. You’re not responsible for every death that happens out there,” Clarke countered.

“Neither are you,” Lexa said.

Clarke sighed and squeezed Lexa’s hand. “Thank you,” she said. She still wasn’t entirely convinced, but Lexa comforted Clarke with such sincerity, maybe she was right.

Lexa leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Clarke’s lips, only breaking apart when the tent flap opened and Bellamy and Raven entered. Both of them had red rimmed eyes and tear streaks on their cheeks. Their hair and clothing were a mess and they both looked so broken. Lexa sat up but she never moved from Clarke’s side.

Bellamy and Raven came up on the other side of the bed and they both seemed to scan Clarke for any visible injuries, relieved when they didn’t see anything major. “I’m so sorry,” Clarke said, barely able to hold back her tears when she saw her friends and the state they were in.

“She’s gone Clarke. I was supposed to protect her and I failed,” he whispered.

“Bellamy, you know that’s not true. She was strong, she was her own person, and she could take care of herself.”

Bellamy’s eyes seemed to soften and he nodded his acknowledgement. “What even happened in there?” Raven asked weakly.

“I don’t know. I thought they were right behind us,” Clarke answered sadly.

“I don’t know how to do this without her,” Bellamy quietly admitted.

Clarke reached for Bellamy’s hand and she let go of Lexa to reach for Raven. Raven took Clarke’s hand and then she reached for Bellamy as well. The three of them held onto each other tightly. With Octavia gone, the three of them would need each other and they were all more than willing to be there for the others. They had a bond and it may not be by blood, but it was there and it was powerful, and they would get through it somehow. Together.

/////

“Octavia? Octavia?” Lincoln yelled, stumbling through the reaper tunnels. He was covered in ash and dust that clung to his skin with the help from his blood and sweat. His entire body ached and he was searching desperately for the love of his life.

Octavia groaned as she opened her eyes. It was dark, and she couldn’t see much, but she knew where she was. Her and Lincoln had followed Emerson into the reaper tunnels just as the mountain blew. Part of the tunnel collapsed and then everything went black. “Octavia?” She heard a faint voice calling her name and her ears perked up.

“Octavia?” She heard again. She tried to push herself to her feet, but for some reason she couldn’t move. “Linc,” she called out, her voice quieter than she intended. “Linc,” she called again and she heard fast footsteps approaching.

“Octavia,” he breathed when he finally saw her on the ground. He ran to her side in relief, but his eyes widened when he reached her side.

“I’m stuck,” she said as he stared down the rubble that Octavia’s lower half was pinned under. He immediately pushed aside his own pain and went to work removing the rocks that she was pinned under.

He removed the rubble down to the biggest boulder that had her pinned down, “I’m going to try and lift this. I need you to roll out from underneath it,” he said knowing that this boulder was too heavy for him to hold for too long.

Octavia nodded her understanding and Lincoln grunted as he used all his strength to move the boulder. Octavia groaned in pain, but she rolled her body to the side and pulled her leg from under the rock. 

Lincoln dropped it the moment she was free and he was by her side helping her up. Octavia rose to her feet, but her leg was badly injured and she could barely put any pressure on it. Lincoln took her arm and put it over his shoulder to help lead her out of the tunnels, but Octavia wasn’t ready to go just yet. “We still need to find Emerson,” she said through grit teeth.

“Octavia he got away and I need to get you to a healer,” he argued.

Octavia scanned the ground of the maze of tunnels and found some drops of blood and scuffed gravel. “He was injured in the blast too,” she said, motioning to the trail she saw. “I won’t go back without him.”

Lincoln sighed, but didn’t argue. He knew Octavia needed to do this and he would help her. He led her down the path and they came up to a body on the ground. He was wearing Azgeda colors and the scarring on his face only confirmed his origins. “Let’s hope our friends fared better than this,” Lincoln said as her and Octavia continued down the path.

It didn’t take them long to hear voices just ahead of them and they slowed down to make sure they didn’t give away their arrival. They slowly and quietly followed the path until they saw Emerson and three others. They all looked like they had been affected by the explosion as well. Two of them were bleeding heavily and walking slowly behind the other two. Emerson was being helped by the warrior who seemed to be the least damaged. It looked like his leg had been badly broken.

Octavia and Lincoln came up from behind and took out the two guards in the back silently, before the others could notice. By the time Emerson and his other guard noticed, Octavia and Lincoln were on them. Lincoln dispatched of the warrior helping Emerson and Octavia punched Emerson in the face, sending him to the ground, and then pulled his hands behind his back and bound them tightly. He tried to struggle but he was not in the right position and another punch to the jaw shut him up quickly.

Lincoln helped both of them up to their feet and all three of them limped out of the tunnels. Once they came out into the sunlight Lincoln whistled, three short blasts. The whistle was quickly answered by two long ones and then two Trikru scouts dropped down from the trees. “We need to get him back to Heda now,” Lincoln said, pushing the bound Emerson towards the two scouts. They grabbed his shoulders roughly and started to lead him through the trees, not caring about his injuries at all.

Lincoln turned to pick up Octavia and carried her bridal style behind the two guards leading Emerson as they returned back to they’re hopefully well friends. 

/////

Clarke, Bellamy, and Raven were all sitting together outside around a fire. Clarke didn’t want to stay in the infirmary and she managed to convince everyone to let her out. The three hadn’t left each other’s side and they tried to provide as much comfort for the other as possible.

The camp had been moved away from the mountain. No one wanted to be close to it because of the negative memories, stench of smoke, and danger of any possible aftershocks from the explosion.

The three friends were all struggling, each of them blaming themselves for their loss. It was irrational, it wasn’t any of their faults, but they all found their own way to blame themselves. They were sitting by the fire telling whatever memories they had of their fallen friends, trying to remember the good times they had shared.

Lexa had been watching them from afar. She was letting them mourn their friend on their own, but she never took her eyes from her love. She noticed that Echo had been keeping a close eye on the group from afar as well, but she didn’t dwell on it. She was being watched by one of her scouts, so she wouldn’t be a problem, but she didn’t seem like she was trying to deceive them.

“Heda! Heda!” The voices rang out from the trees and Lexa found herself by Clarke’s side quickly. The group had all risen to their feet and Clarke already had a knife in her hand ready to strike. Lexa had a hand on her sword as well and she waited to find out was going on.

Three bodies came out of the tree line, two of them she recognized as her guards, dragging another man who was clearly injured. She heard Clarke’s breath hitch and she turned to her questioningly. “Emerson,” Clarke breathed, recognizing the injured man the moment he was dragged into the clearing.

Lexa’s head shot back to the injured man and recognition dawned on her. He was the bastard who offered her that deal back on the mountain and he was the reason Clarke had been forced to serve Nia for so long. She felt an anger simmer deep in her bones and she bared her teeth, storming towards him. “Tie him up in the prisoner’s tent. I want at least four guards on him at all times,” she growled her orders, barely able to contain her own rage.

Clarke watched as Emerson was dragged off towards the tent, but not before he flashed a smirk in her direction. Clarke felt her muscles tense and she could feel her hand gripping the blade in her hand tighter, but before she could react she saw movement out of the corner of her eye.

She turned back to the tree line where a bloody and dirty Lincoln appeared, carrying an injured but very much alive Octavia. “Octavia,” Clarke breathed in excitement and relief before she took off towards them, Bellamy and Raven behind her.

Lincoln lowered Octavia down to her feet just in time for her to be wrapped in a tight embrace by Clarke. “We thought you were dead,” Clarke said relief evident in her tone.

Then two more bodies collided with the two and Octavia found herself wrapped up in the arms of her best friends and brother. They stayed that way for a while before the four separated, tears streaming down each of their faces. “I’m sorry,” Octavia replied, not realizing exactly what effect her idea to go after Emerson would have on everyone. “I saw Emerson and I failed getting him once. I couldn’t again.”

Clarke shook her head, “Please don’t do anything like that again.”

Octavia smiled, “No promises.”

The group laughed lightly and Bellamy enveloped his sister in another embrace lifting her from the ground and spinning her in the air. He had never felt a worse pain when he thought his sister was dead and he had never felt more relieved in his entire life than he did in this moment.

Clarke and Raven smiled and let brother and sister reunite and they turned to Lincoln. They had both grown to care for the man and were extremely relieved to see him alive as well. They pulled him into a tight hug, which he returned enthusiastically.

Moments later Lexa and Abby walked up. Lexa reached out her forearm towards Lincoln and he gripped it firmly with a smile on his face and Abby started to examine his injuries. Lincoln allowed her to look him over but then directed her to Octavia who he was much more concerned about. 

Abby ordered Octavia to the healers tent and Bellamy picked her up to take her there, not willing to let her walk on her own and not willing to leave his sisters side. Raven and Lincoln followed as well, leaving Clarke and Lexa behind.

Clarke felt extremely relieved to see Octavia and Lincoln alive, but she couldn’t fully revel in it knowing Emerson was so close to her. “I need to see him,” Clarke said after a moment of silence.

Lexa sighed. She knew she wasn’t going to win this argument, but she had to try, “No you don’t Clarke.”

“I do. And you know it,” she replied. 

Lexa nodded, “Fine, but I’m in the tent too.”

“Fine, but whatever you hear, don’t react to it,” Clarke replied.

Lexa narrowed her eyes. She knew she wasn’t going to like whatever he said, but she was Heda. She could control herself. She nodded and the two of them headed to the prisoners tent.

There were two guards outside the tent, who opened the flaps for the two leaders to enter. Two more guards were inside and Lexa quickly had them dismissed. Emerson was tied to a pole in the center of the tent. His body was caked in blood, sweat, and ash, and it was clear that his leg was badly broken. His eyes locked on Clarke’s the moment she entered and they never wavered. “You’re the one who blew up the mountain,” Clarke said and it wasn’t a question.

Emerson smirked, “It’s nice to see you too Clarke. Tell me, how has the assassin business been going?” His eyes widened in mock shock before continuing, “Oh that’s right, I forgot. The people here don’t know who you really are.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “The people here know who I am.”

Emerson eyed her momentarily. She didn’t react as harshly as he had expected when he brought up her being an assassin and the Commander behind her didn’t either. But there was no way Clarke had told her right? “Tell me, has The Shadow killed anyone recently.”

“I’m afraid she hasn’t, but keep talking and she just might,” Clarke bit back.

Emerson froze. Clarke had just admitted to being The Shadow in front of the Commander and neither of them flinched. It was unexpected that Clarke would share her identity, but he wouldn’t let Clarke get the upper hand, “So you told the Commander who you are. Only, she doesn’t truly know who you are. What you are.”

“Call me what you like Emerson. I’ve heard worse, I’ve called myself worse. Your words mean nothing,” Clarke replied, her face hard, eyes cold.

“You think you’re safe now that the Commander knows your secret. What happens when her people find out who you are? What happens when they find out the Commander was already aware? They’ll call for both your heads,” Emerson sneered.

Clarke didn’t let what Emerson said faze her, even though there were truth behind those words. Her reaction, or lack there of, only seemed to piss Emerson off more. His eyes shifted to Lexa, who had been silently standing behind Clarke the entire time. She was angry, but the only way you could tell was by her tightly clenched fists. “And you Commander. I thought you cared about your people, yet you let an assassin walk around freely.” 

Lexa felt her muscles tense at the words, but didn’t react further. “Do you even know the extent of the monster standing before you?” Emerson continued.

Lexa’s eyes flashed dangerously, and it made Emerson smirk. His eyes returned to Clarke, “You killed three hundred of her warriors, you burned over three hundred of my people, not to mention those you assassinated.” Clarke felt a growl rumble low in her chest, but she couldn’t let him get to her. “Your hands are stained red and I don’t think that color will ever fade. You’re a murderer, a monster, and I haven’t even brought up your most gruesome kills yet.”

Clarke’s entire body tightened and her hand reached down to the dagger on her hip. Her eyes clouded over in anger and her muscles began to almost vibrate. Emerson saw it. He was getting to her now, and he pressed forward. “I know about your kills Clarke. I know about the times when you lost control, when your kills were so heinous, The Shadow didn’t even get credit for them. Tell me, does the Commander know about that?”

Clarke snapped. She pulled the dagger from her belt and lunged forward, stabbing the blade into his leg. He cried out in pain and prepared for another attack, but there was none.

The Commander had her arms wrapped around Clarke’s waist and was pulling the raging blonde backwards and out of the tent.

Clarke’s breath was heaving and her muscles were coiled tighter than any other time she could remember. “I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered when she calmed down. “I guess you weren’t the one I needed to worry about reacting to his words.”

“Are you alright?” Lexa questioned.

“I need some air,” Clarke said blankly and she took two steps away before the Commander grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Clarke-”

“I’ll be fine Lexa,” she snapped back, before taking another deep breath. “I just need to be alone for a little bit.”

“Okay,” Lexa replied softly, not putting up any more of a fight. Whatever Emerson was talking about was clearly a sore spot for the blonde. Lexa wanted to know what he was talking about, but she would wait until Clarke was ready to share. For now she would give Clarke the space she needed and allow her time to cool off

“He’ll have answers for you on some of Nia’s plan,” Clarke said.

“I’ll see what he knows,” Lexa replied. She watched as Clarke nodded at her response and then turned and left the camp, disappearing into the treeline.

/////

Clarke walked into the treeline and kept going. She needed to breathe, needed to be alone, and she needed to gather herself. She had told herself she wouldn’t let Emerson get to her, but he had. 

Clarke walked at a quick pace in the trees and she knew someone was following her. One of Lexa’s scouts, probably asked to keep an eye on her, but Clarke wanted to be alone. She knew how to slip a tail, had done it multiple times before. She left no tracks as she moved and used the shadows and various intervals of speed to lose the guard following her.

When she was truly alone she stopped and took deep breaths. Images of mangled, injured, tortured bodies kept popping up in her mind. Images that she had locked down in the farthest place in her mind to never think of again. But Emerson had the key that opened the door to those memories and they were flooding Clarke’s memory, burning her eyelids as the images resurfaced before her.

Clarke took deep breaths. She was starting to hyperventilate and she needed to calm down now. She closed her eyes and forced herself to think of something calming, something to get these images out of her mind and green eyes was the first thing she saw.

She focused on them. Drawing strength from their depths and used them to get her breathing under control. When she was calm she opened her eyes. The wind blew and she could feel the chill that spread across her cheeks where her tears had dropped.

Clarke growled in frustration. She had let Emerson get to her, let herself be reminded of that dark place that she had locked away in a desperate attempt to forget. “Damn it,” she breathed and she pulled out a dagger. 

She stormed up to the closest tree and plunged the dagger into the bark and pulled it back out, stabbing the tree multiple times with all her effort. Her body ached but she didn’t care, she needed to forget. Needed to lock those memories away again.

Her frustration clouded her mind so much, she didn’t realize the body in the tree above her until it was too late. Clarke spun around right as a body pounced from above and collided with her chest, sending her sprawling backwards onto the ground.

She rolled back onto her feet and gasped trying to restore some oxygen to her lungs from the hit. “Ontari,” she sneered as she looked into the cold eyes of the person she hated almost as much as Nia and Emerson.

“Clarke,” Ontari said with a smirk.

“What are you doing here?” She questioned, looking around for her knife she had dropped when she had taken the hit.

“I came here to talk,” Ontari said.

“Yeah? Well I’m not in the mood,” she said and she charged forward, taking a swing at Ontari’s head. Ontari ducked under the blow and hit Clarke in the ribs. 

Clarke’s movements were slower than she would have liked thanks to her injuries from the explosion, and the blow to her stomach only made it worse, but she pushed through. Ontari kicked at her ribs, but Clarke dodged the blow and launched her own attack. Her first two punches were blocked, but her third connected with Ontari’s jaw.

The brunette growled and charged forward again, but her moves were clouded by her anger, weren’t as precise as they could be, and Clarke was able to block them all.

Clarke kicked out Ontari’s legs from under her and the brunette went crashing to the ground. Clarke was on her in a second and she picked up the knife she had previously dropped and held it to the downed girl’s throat.

“Nia’s angry Clarke,” Ontari said through her heavy breathing, not at all concerned with the current position she found herself in. “You made her look foolish, and she is ready to make you suffer.”

“She can try,” Clarke snarled.

“Oh she will Clarke. She knows your weakness. It’s your heart,” Ontari replied. “You may not care about yourself but you care about your people, your friends. I wonder what their screams will sound like.”

Clarke pushed the blade into Ontari’s neck a little harder, almost breaking skin, “Don’t touch them.”

“Nia has plans for them,” Ontari continued, ignoring the threat. “She’ll capture them. Torture them, kill them, maybe even turn them into a better version of you. That dark haired girl. What’s her name? Octavia. She’s a little spit fire. She’d be a good assassin. That girl Raven. She wouldn’t, not with that crap leg, but I’m sure it’ll be fun to hear her scream.”

“Shut. Up.” Clarke roared, applying enough pressure to break skin, a light stream of blood pooling around the blade.

“And that boy Bellamy. He seems to think it’s his job to protect you, but who will protect him? I think your mother’s screams will be my favorite. Nia’s going to kill them all, and she’s going to force you to watch,” Ontari said with a wicked smile. “And then there’s Lexa.” Clarke growled from above her, but Ontari continued. “Nia’s going to make her suffer most of all, and you’re going to watch. And then when she’s too weak to do anything, Queen Nia will torture you. She’ll force Lexa to watch as your body is burned, branded, your skin ripped from your bones, your blood staining the floors and the walls. She’ll bring you to the point of near death before she’ll switch back to your precious Commander. She’ll kill Lexa, slowly and painfully while you watch, and then, when you’ve lost everything, Queen Nia will kill you too.”

“You won’t win,” Clarke grit out, trying to keep the images that Ontari was creating from playing in her mind.

“And how will you stop us? You don’t know Queen Nia’s plan. You won’t be able to stop it,” Ontari said with so much confidence, Clarke was afraid it was true.

She lost her focus for a second, and that was all it took for Ontari to spin them over, flipping positions, and reigning down blows onto Clarke’s face. Clarke felt her cheek and lip split open before she brought her blade up to protect herself, and cut into Ontari’s arm.

Ontari grunted in pain and Clarke was able to throw her off, and they both popped up to their feet. Clarke took another few hits to the face and gut before her knife dug deep into Ontari’s side. She groaned in pain and staggered backwards, away from the blonde.

Clarke stalked forward, prepared to end Ontari’s fight, but the brunette always liked to play dirty. She picked up a handful of dirt and threw it into Clarke’s eyes.

Clarke hissed and stumbled backwards, using one arm to try and rid her eyes of the dirt and the other she held up to prepare to block the next strike. None came.

When Clarke was able to open her eyes, she was alone in the clearing, the only sign of Ontari was the marks in the dirt and a small bloodstain. Clarke looked around and listened, to try and figure out if Ontari was still in the area, and after a moment she realized she was alone.

Clarke dropped unceremoniously to the ground with a huff. “Fuck,” she groaned as she crawled over to a tree to lean up against. Her entire body ached and her mind was full of images that she couldn’t let come to pass. She needed to know Nia’s plan. She needed answers. And she was going to get them, no matter what she had to do.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Sorry this chapter came out a little later than normal. I've lost some of my inspiration and am trying hard to get it back. I cracked this chapter out in a couple of hours and I really like it so I hope you guys do too. I show a darker side of Clarke that isn't written in a lot fics, but I tried to stay as true to the character as I could. I hope you huys enjoy!
> 
> TW: Torture

Lexa and Indra both walked out of the prisoners tent and wiped the red off their hands. They hadn’t been too aggressive with their questioning yet, but they would be soon if Emerson didn’t start talking. “Be ready. We’ll go again soon,” Lexa said.

“Sha Heda,” Indra replied before walking off to do her own thing.

Lexa gave a curt nod to the guards outside the tent and started to walk back through the camp. She needed to find a certain blonde and make sure she was okay. Whatever Emerson had said earlier had clearly gotten to her. Lexa would be lying if she said she wasn’t thinking about what he could have meant and what secrets still existed over Clarke’s past, but she wasn’t going to push the blonde for answers. Hopefully Clarke would be willing to talk to Lexa on her own.

Lexa made her way to the healer’s tent. She figured that Clarke would have gone there to see Octavia while she was busy with Emerson, but a commotion over by the treeline caught her attention.

Lexa looked up to see Clarke limping into the camp with open and bleeding gashes and fresh bruises across her face. She ran to the blonde and stopped right before her, her eyes scanning over every possible injury she could make out. “What happened,” Lexa asked as she continued her quick examination.

“Ontari,” Clarke grunted.

Lexa’s brows furrowed, the name wasn’t familiar. “Who?”

“Her assassin name is No Mercy,” Clarke said, looking into a pair of worried green eyes.

Lexa’s eyes widened. Of course she recognized that name. No Mercy was known as the most aggressive and ruthless assassin in all of the coalition. She chose to make her kills suffer and sometimes it impaired her mission, but she still always seemed to escape before anyone could stop her or kill her.

“I’m fine Lexa,” Clarke said, reading the worry on her lover’s face.

“You need to see a healer,” Lexa replied. 

“I don’t need-” Clarke started, but was cut off by a dangerous glare from the Commander. She sighed, “Alright fine.” 

Lexa reached for the blonde and easily lifted her into her arms and started to walk towards the healer’s tent. Clarke gasped in surprise as she was lifted off her feet. “I can walk Lexa,” Clarke tried, but the brunette wasn’t going to budge. 

She led Clarke into the healer’s tent and laid her down on a bed. Octavia, Raven, and Bellamy were all in the tent together and their eyes widened when they saw Lexa carrying in an injured Clarke. Abby also saw her daughter’s arrival and she sprung to her feet to begin her examination.

“What the hell happened?” Raven asked as Abby worked on checking her daughter’s wounds.

“Got attacked in the woods. No big deal,” Clarke said and she winced as her mother prodded at her injured ribs. Lexa’s eyes narrowed at Clarke’s attempts to ignore her injuries and so did everyone else. Clarke rolled her eyes, “I’m fine. Trust me, she got way worse than I did.”

A few minutes later, her mother finished with her examination and left Clarke alone to speak with her friends. “Alright, now will you tell us what happened?” Octavia asked.

“I went out into the woods to clear my head. I got lost in my thoughts and didn’t notice that I wasn’t alone until I was tackled to the ground. It was Ontari, better known as No Mercy,” Clarke explained, not really going into much detail.

“No Mercy? That’s a pretty stupid name,” Raven commented.

“Also very self explanatory,” Bellamy added.

“She’s an assassin. One of Nia’s favorites,” Clarke said. “We never got along. She enjoyed killing and made sure to make people suffer. I hated her for that. She called me weak and soft because I didn’t enjoy death like she did.”

“Why did she attack you?” Lexa questioned.

Clarke tensed slightly which only further aggravated her injuries, and she winced. She looked hesitantly around the room and her eyes stayed on Bellamy for a moment. He was the only one in there who didn’t know that she was The Shadow and Octavia quickly picked up on that. “Hey Bell, would you mind going and checking on Lincoln?”

“But-” Bellamy started.

“Please,” Octavia replied. Bellamy wanted to argue, but he looked around the room and seemed to understand that he needed to go. He sighed and nodded, before unhappily leaving the tent.

Once he was gone, Clarke was able to explain. “Nia probably sent her after me. As The Shadow, Ontari always hated me and she was the quickest assassin to get under my skin. We butt heads a lot and Nia knows how much I hate her. She sent her here to threaten me, and also, to threaten all of you.”

“What do you mean?” Raven asked.

“She wants me to suffer. She knows the best way to do that is by going after the people I care about. Ontari said that she was going to take over the coalition, that we wouldn’t be able to stop her and she explained to me how she was going to torture all of you guys and force me to watch,” Clarke said, shuttering at the images that fluttered through her mind. She turned to Lexa, “Did you get anything from Emerson?”

“No. He’s not talking. Not yet anyway,” Lexa replied.

“Well we need answers. I can get them,” Clarke said. 

“No,” Lexa replied immediately, already knowing exactly what Clarke meant. She wasn’t going to let her go down this path and do something so dark.

Unfortunately, Octavia and Raven didn’t quite get what the blonde meant. “How would you get him to talk?” Octavia questioned.

“By any means necessary,” Clarke replied blankly. She knew the path she was about to walk down, but Ontari’s threat genuinely scared her. She knew how bad the torture was in Azgeda, especially when Nia held a grudge against the person being tortured. She couldn’t let any of her friends go through that, and she would go as dark as she needed to keep them safe.

“You mean torture?” Raven said. “Do you really think you could do that? Torture someone to get them to talk.”

“I’ve done it before,” Clarke replied darkly. When Raven and Octavia’s eyebrows raised in question, Clarke explained. “Do you really think Nia trained me to become a top assassin without teaching me how to interrogate someone?”

“It’s not an interrogation Clarke,” Raven argued. “It’s called torture.”

Clarke swallowed, “As long as I get the answers I need.”

“I’m not letting you do that Clarke,” Lexa said sternly.

“Well I’m not letting you or anyone else get hurt because of me. He has to know something that can help us figure out Nia’s plan, and I’m going to get him to tell me what that is.”

“I’m not going to let you go down that path,” Lexa argued. She knows what torturing someone does to a person. She hates that feeling, but she does because it’s her duty. She’s not letting Clarke follow in her footsteps.

“I’ve already been there Lexa,” Clare argued.

“Clarke, torturing someone for information is difficult to bare. You have to succumb to your inner darkness, and sometimes it’s hard to pull yourself out when it’s over,” Lexa tried to change Clarke’s mind.

“I’m aware. I know how to control myself. I learned the hard way.”

/////

4 months into training with Dak

Clarke woke up as usual and put on her training gear before getting ready to leave her room. She made sure all her armor was secure and her weapons were properly placed before she opened her door, and was surprised to see Dak standing there waiting for her. “Dak? I thought I was meeting you on the training grounds.”

Dak looked at Clarke nervously, “Not today. Queen Nia wants to lead your training for the next few days. I have an assignment she wants me to finish and I’ll be gone for a couple of days.”

Clarke could feel her heart rate already beginning to speed up. Training with Nia was not going to be pleasant and the idea of it gave Clarke a feeling she didn’t feel too often anymore. Fear. “Dak…”

“I know,” Dak said. “But you can do this. It’s not going to be easy, but you’re gonna be okay. Ste yuj,” he tried to comfort her as best he could. “She’s waiting for you. Don’t make her wait long.”

Clarke nodded before she started to walk down the hall to meet Nia, “Good luck Dak,” she called over her shoulder before she picked up the pace to make it to Nia.

A few minutes later Clarke was allowed entrance into Nia’s throne room. She entered and walked into the center of the room, before the throne, and dropped to a knee. “My Queen.”

Nia was seated in her throne with Emerson and a few guards behind her. A couple more guards were scattered along the perimeter of the room, all of them armed, all of them keeping a close eye on Clarke. 

Nia smirked from her seat and looked down at the kneeling blonde, “Clarke, good. As I’m sure you’ve heard, Dak is going to be busy doing something for me, so I will be continuing your training for the next few days,” she started. “As an assassin, it is important to be able to gather intel, whether that be on your target or about something else entirely. Knowledge is important, and if you don’t have it, you have to get it. As it so happens, a prisoner was brought in last night and he has some information that I need. You are going to get it for me.”

Clarke swallowed thickly and could feel her entire body begin to tense. She knew what Nia meant even though she hadn’t flat out said it. She wanted Clarke to torture someone. Clarke nodded her head while still on bent on her knee, not trusting her voice at the moment.

Nia smiled maliciously and rose from her throne, with two guards flanking her side, “Follow me,” she said as she made her way from the throne room.

Clarke followed behind Nia and her two guards as the left her throne room and made their way outside into the busy streets of Saipan. Every citizen moved out of their Queen’s way and they dropped to their knees or bowed their heads in a show of ‘respect’, mostly fear. 

The four made their way through the city until they came up to a building that Clarke recognized very well. The last time she had entered that building she had stayed there for three months and was constantly tortured throughout her stay. She swallowed back her nerves and cleared her mind of those memories that were resurfacing as she entered behind her Queen.

Instantly she was hit with the building’s familiar scent and sounds. Screaming, and the stench of burning flesh, blood, and death. Clarke swallowed back her bile as she made her way to a large wooden door. Outside that door waiting, was a woman that Clarke despised. Severna. That woman had tortured Clarke for months and showed absolutely no remorse while doing it.

Clarke glared at the woman before schooling her features and waiting for her Queen to give her further instructions. “Your training is simple,” Nia said. “Do whatever Severna or I instruct you to do. If you don’t, you will not enjoy the consequences. Understood?”

“Sha, my Queen,” Clarke said in a much firmer voice than she expected. 

“Good. Then let’s begin,” Nia said as she opened the door and entered. Clarke and Severna entered behind her and Nia’s two guards entered after them and took up their post beside either side of the door. 

Inside, the room was already prepared. There were all sorts of weapons, vials of liquids, poisons, and tools. Clarke recognized many of them, having been exposed to them once before herself, and she was barely able to contain her shiver.

In the middle of the room, a man was tied down by the ankles and wrists to a wooden chair. His body was covered in a few bruises and gashes, but none of the wounds looked to be torture wounds. Not yet.

Clarke watched as the man sat up taller in his seat and looked at Nia with as much strength as he could muster, but his eyes gave away his fear. Nia smiled cruelly at him and she began to slowly walk circles around where he was seated. “You already know who I am,” Nia started, her voice calm and eerily cold. “I am going to ask you a few questions, and you are going to answer them for me. If you don’t my associates here will get the answers for me. I would recommend making this easy for yourself, but not everyone is as wise as me.” 

The man glared at her and kept up his confident facade, which made Nia chuckle. “Let’s begin shall we. I can tell by your scars that you are Azgeda, but you were found with a group who opposes me. Why?”

The man only glared and Nia smiled. She looked over to Severna and nodded her head. Severna looked to Clarke, “Punch him in the face.”

“What?” Clarke heard the order, but she wasn’t interested in actually carrying it out.

“You heard me,” she replied dully.

Clarke swallowed, but did nothing. She couldn’t torture someone for no reason. Severna walked up to Clarke and punched her three times. Clarke stepped back and spit out a mouthful of blood before begrudgingly walking over to the man and punching him in the face. His head jerked to the left and a small grunt escaped his lips. “Let’s go again,” Nia said. She continued to question him, and she continued to have Clarke punch him. Clarke pulled her punches as much as she could, but she knew she couldn’t be too weak with Nia watching her.

After a few rounds of this, with still no answers, Severna handed Clarke a small knife. “Rip off one of his fingernails.”

Clarke slowly looked down at the knife in her hand. She remembered having some of her nails ripped out and the pain that came with it. Her own nails hadn’t even fully grown back yet. There was no way she could do that to this man. She looked up from her knife and met the eyes of Nia. The Ice Queen seemed to understand her unwillingness to complete the task and before Clarke could think of much else, Severna grabbed her hand and ripped out a fingernail of her own.

Clarke let a quiet yelp of pain. She could take the pain, but she couldn’t dish it out to someone else. Nia looked at her expectantly, but Clarke still couldn’t do it. 

Severna had to rip out three more of Clarke’s nails before she gave in. This man would be tortured even if she didn’t do it herself, and her torture wouldn’t stop, so she gave in. She took a step forward and ripped the man’s thumbnail off of his finger. The man cried out in pain and his hand began to tremble slightly. “Again,” Nia ordered.

Clarke could feel the nausea in her stomach, but she did what she was ordered to do, ripping off another nail. The process continued a few more times until the man had no nails on his right hand. The hand was trembling violently and blood was running down his fingers and dropping down on the seat and ground below him.

Clarke felt sick, but she didn’t know what else she could do. The man was clearly in pain, but he still wasn’t talking. Clarke wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take.

Nia asked him another question and again he didn’t answer. Nia looked up to Severna. “Break his fingers,” Severna ordered.

Clarke closed her eyes to hold back her tears. “I can’t,” she whispered. A moment later she heard a pop and pain shot up her now broken finger. Severna continued, and Clarke took it, but she couldn’t do this anymore. 

After Severna broke three of Clarke’s fingers Nia rose a hand to stop her. “That’s enough for today. We will go again tomorrow,” Nia said before sweeping out of the room followed by the others.

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke whispered to the man she had tortured before sprinting out of the room and out of the building. 

When she made it outside she ran behind the building and emptied her stomach into one of the bushes back there. Suddenly she felt a warm hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles and voice she recognized as Roan was trying to calm her.

When Clarke was done, Roan led her back to his room and she cried in his arms until she fell asleep.

When she woke up the next morning the process continued. Nia asked questions, which she didn’t get an answer to and Clarke continued to either carry out the punishment or recieve it. It continued like this for two days until something happened and she snapped.

Clarke awoke in an empty room. Roan had gone out do something and managed not to wake up Clarke when he left. She dressed quickly in her Azgeda furs before making her way outside to continue another day of hell. 

She walked onto the surprisingly not busy streets of Saipan and made her way to where the prisoner was being held when she caught sight of Dak. She ran up to him. “Dak, you’re back,” she said before she saw the sombre look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Phen was attacked by a rogue group of warriors last night. The entire village was destroyed,” he said. Phen was a smaller village in Azgeda, but all the people there were hard workers and well liked throughout Azgeda.

Clarke’s heart ached for them, “How many casualties?”

“Everyone in the village was killed. 40 people,” Dak said sadly.

“Kids?”

“11,” Dak replied. He sighed, “I don’t get it. I heard that Queen Nia had captured one of the men who was second in command of the rogue group that attacked. She’s been questioning him for days and didn’t get anything. She always gets answers, no one ever beats out her torture.”

Clarke felt dread pool in her stomach. She had been with Nia the past few days questioning someone, and because she was too afraid, Nia had spent more time torturing her instead of him. Clarke had a sinking feeling that the prisoner Dak was talking about was the same one she had been with. “I have to go,” Clarke said before she took off, ignoring Dak’s questions from behind her.

Clarke entered the building and made her way up the stairs until she came up to the door with their prisoner. Nia and Severna were already there waiting. Clarke stormed up to them, “You knew he was a rogue and had answers about the attack on Phen.”

Nia stopped her conversation with Severna and looked at Clarke. She was being spoken to very inappropriately, but there was a fire in Clarke’s voice and a look in her eye that had Nia intrigued. “I suspected. Contrary to what you may believe, I do care about my people, and I don’t torture people unless I deem it necessary.” Clarke had to hold back her scoff at that, and she barely managed to do so.

“40 people are dead now,” Clarke almost yelled.

“And whose fault is that?”

Clarke froze. 40 people were dead, 11 of them were kids, and it was her fault. That was more death to add to her seemingly forever growing list. Clarke could feel her last bit of calm and restraint snap and she barged into the room with the prisoner without looking back.

She stormed up to the man with a burning look in her eye, and any confident facade that the prisoner could show on his face was wiped off and replaced with a clear look of fear. Clarke punched the man in the face, hard, four times. “40 people are dead,” she yelled. Her body was aching from all the punishment she had taken over the past few days, but she ignored it.

Nia, Severna, and two guards slipped into the room and watched as Clarke snapped. “Where are your group of rogues hiding? What’s their next plan?” Clarke growled. The man hesitated, but he managed to stay strong and keep his mouth shut. Clarke pulled out her knife and ripped off a couple of fingernails from the man’s left hand and then began to cut at the flesh on his chest. Severna stepped in and showed Clarke a few techniques and painful torture methods all while questioning the man. Clarke took it all in and delivered each technique without pause. She wasn’t going to let another village be destroyed because she was too weak to get the answers she needed.

It took two hours before the man broke, “I don’t know their next plan,” he cried out desperately. “Please,” he panted. “All I know is that after the attack on Phen, we were going to regroup at a cave a few miles west and then come up with our next attack, but you’re probably too late by now.” 

“I’ll find them,” Clarke growled before she plunged the blade of her knife into the side of the man’s neck. Clarke turned to Nia awaiting her next order. The man had confirmed that there was going to be another attack, and she was hoping Nia would allow her a chance to stop it.

“Go. Find them,” she said with a smile. “Take Severna with you.”

Clarke nodded and she left the room with Severna behind her. They made their way to the stables where they prepared their horses and then rode out to the cave.

The prisoner was right, they were too late to catch the whole group, but it looked like one or two men stayed behind to clean up the area and hide any tracks the group may have left behind. Clarke was quick to pull out her sword and attack the two unsuspecting men. She killed the first quickly before stunning the second with a blow to the head and then grabbing him and throwing him hard against a tree.

Severna approached with some rope and tied the dazed man to the tree and the questioning began again. Clarke questioned the terrified man and did whatever it took to get him to speak. She was blinded by her rage and anger and she couldn’t stop herself. Severna showed her more torture techniques and she taught her how to use a few different tools.

He was breathing heavily, blood freely flowing from just about everywhere on his body. Severna had given Clarke a poison that makes wounds hurt more than normal and Clarke had made good use of it. He had never been in this much pain in his life. “I’ll ask again. Where is the next attack going to be? When?”

“Please,” the man actually began to cry. “I don’t know when. All I know is that the next attack is going to be on Ugaf.”

“Where are the other Rogues?” She questioned.

“I don’t know. We all split up so we’d be harder to find. We were going to reconvene later, but I’m not sure where yet. Please, I told you all that I know.”

“Thank you,” Clarke snarled, before she killed the man in the same way she killed the first.

It took Clarke three more days to find another member of the rogue group. Her rage had yet to simmer. It seems all her pent up anger and her frustrations from ever since she landed on the ground were all pouring out, and she could do nothing to stop it. 

When she found the next man, her and Severna tortured him until he gave away the time of the next attack, and then Clarke killed him.

Her and Severna travelled to Ugaf the next day and waited until the group of Rogues arrived. There were about thirty of them and they were all camped out in the woods, ready to strike when the night came.

Clarke and Severna camped out and watched the group before Clarke decided she wanted to do something about it. She would go in quiet. Use her assassin skills to kill as many as she could quietly and when she was found, she would take on the rest and Severna would join her.

It was probably a stupid plan, they were greatly outnumbered, but Clarke was angry and she wasn’t going to let the innocent people of Ugaf die because of her failure. 

She started in the back of the camp, slowly and silently taking out about twelve of the men before she was spotted. Once she was seen, all hell broke loose, but these men weren’t very well trained. Hence why they attacked poorer, innocent villages. Severna had considerable skill, and Clarke, aided by her rage, was unstoppable.

The two of them weren’t gentle. They didn’t kill their opponents with a simple kill shot. No, they made their kills slowly and they were gruesome. By the time it was over, Clarke and Severna were covered from head to toe in blood and they were surrounded by mangled, broken bodies.

When it was over, Clarke seemed to finally come back to herself and she barely keep herself from both crying and vomiting at the site. 

It took a few days for Clarke and Severna to make it back to Saipan. Rumors of the attack had already spread throughout Azgeda. It was said that No Mercy went off the rails and had her fun with all thirty of the rogues, killing them slowly and painfully. Clarke wasn’t going to tell anyone the truth about what had happened, but there were a few, such as Nia, who knew. 

When the two returned home, they were greeted by a very happy Nia and she gave the two of them a day off from training. Clarke returned to her room alone where she changed into some clean clothes, curled up into a ball, and sobbed.

It felt like she had been there for hours when she felt arms wrap around her and begin to rock her back and forth. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by Dak who was looking at her concerned.

Clarke broke down into another round of tears and when she finally calmed down she told Dak what she had done. Clarke expected him to hate her after. To look at her with disgust and call her a monster, which is exactly what he should have done, but he didn’t. Instead he lifted her up off the floor and carried her to her bed before taking a seat beside her.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Dak spoke again. “Everyone has a monster inside of them Clarke. Some people let it out all the time, like Queen Nia. Some people, like you, cage it up and hold it back. The problem is, it always finds a way out, and when it does, it takes all the rage that’s been building up inside you, and it explodes.”

“So what do I do?” Clarke questioned weakly, desperate to know the answer.

“You have to feed it. If you keep it locked up for too long, it will snap and you won’t be able to control it, which is what happened to you. If you feed it, you can keep it contained, you can stay in control of it,” Dak explained.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that sometimes you have to unlock the cage. Let it out, but keep it on a leash, that way it won’t break out on its own.”

“So what? I occasionally torture or kill people so that I don’t completely snap?”

“If that’s what you have to do. Clarke the life we live, it is not easy. There are people who control us, people who rely on us, people who need us, and we need to be in control of ourselves. You are obviously angry over a lot of things that have happened in your life, with good reason. But you can’t bottle it up and pretend it doesn’t exist. You have to let out, whether that be in a way that is physical or mental or both or some other way, you have to let out your anger. You have to control the monster. Keep it fed and happy and it won’t need to break out of its cage,” Dak explained.

“Okay, I’ll try,” Clarke replied tiredly.

“Sleep Clarke. Tomorrow, we return to training and I will help you control your monster,” Dak said softly.

“Thank you,” Clarke whispered before drifting off into a restless sleep.

/////

Clarke hesitantly looked onto the faces of her love and friends after telling them about her past. Dak may have accepted her after learning about what she did, but that doesn’t mean her friends would. “If I get the chance I’m going to kill that Ice Bitch,” Octavia was the first to speak.

Clarke smiled softly at her. “Get in line,” Raven cut in.

Clarke turned to look at Lexa who was still looking at her with a look of awe and love, and Clarke was beyond relieved. “I learned how to feed my monster. I learned how to control it,” Clarke said. “I need answers Lexa,” Clarke pleaded. “He has them, I can get them, and I won’t lose myself in the process. Please.”

Lexa looked down on the bed at the strongest woman she had ever me in her entire life. “I want to be in there with you.”

Clarke was already shaking her head, “Please, no. I can control it, but I’d rather you not see it. Indra or someone can be in there if it makes you feel better.”

Lexa took a deep breath, but accepted Clarke’s terms with a nod. “I love you,” Clarke said sincerely. How Lexa could still look at her the same way after learning about her past, Clarke would never know, but she was unbelievably grateful for it.

“I love you too,” Lexa replied before leaning down and kissing Clarke fully on the lips.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm really glad you all liked the last chapter. I'm going to be honest, I didn't really do much editing on this one because I wanted to get it up on time so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I'm really struggling with some writers block so this chapter is kind of short and I'm not going to make any promises on when the next chapter will be up but I'll do my best to make sure you aren't waiting long. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this one!
> 
> Warning: Torture

Clarke whimpered and rolled over, her brows creasing and lips turning into a frown. Lexa was beside her and reached out to gently run her hand through the girl’s hair. “Clarke,” she said softly. “Clarke, my love, wake up,” she said again a little louder.

Clarke’s eyes shot open and a strangle whimper escaped her lips. Lexa wrapped her arms protectively around the blonde and whispered comforting words into her ear. “Shh, it’s alright. It was just a dream. I’m here. You’re alright.”

It took a few moments, but Clarke was able to calm herself down enough to breath normally. She pushed herself tighter into Lexa’s embrace, seeking contact and comfort from the woman she loved. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled into Lexa’s chest. “Bringing up those memories again… they haunt me.”

Lexa kissed the top of her head, “I know.” 

The two stayed wrapped up in each other for a while, just holding each other until Clarke finally, hesitantly, spoke. “My story yesterday really didn’t scare you away from me?”

Lexa leaned back and put both hands on Clarke’s cheeks holding eye contact, “You know nothing ever could. No, Clarke, you didn’t scare me away. That feeling of acid burning your stomach, like your blood was on fire, when all you can see is red, I’ve felt it. I’ve lost control of my monster before too.”

Clarke kissed the heel of Lexa’s palm, and looked into her favorite green eyes that looked to be locked in some sort of memory. “It was after I lost Costia,” Lexa barely managed to say her name without cracking. “I had just lost her and I was in so much pain and I was so angry. Nia killed her for no other reason but the fact that I loved her. She beheaded her and she left the head at the bottom of my bed. When I found it… I was distraught. I stayed in my room, with no one allowed to enter for a week. I cried myself to sleep every night and I mourned her. After that week, I left that room with a mask on. I was calm and confident and every bit of a strong leader, at least on the outside. That day I left my room, I ordered my army to mobilize. At this time, I had allied over half of the 12 clans. I took my army and we marched on Azgeda. We attacked villages, and killed everyone, and I was at the forefront of the attack. I killed every member of Azgeda that I saw. Azgeda lost a lot and so did my army, but I kept pushing. I was so blinded by my rage, I didn’t care, I didn’t even notice how many people were being hurt because of me. One day we attacked a village, but somehow, Azgeda had been expecting us. It was a bloodbath. I called for a retreat, but it was too late. So many of my own warriors died, not to mention those in Azgeda, and it wasn’t even their fault. The people in Azgeda are not bad people. I knew that, but I lead an army to slaughter them anyway. Anya was able to talk some sense to me, and I was finally able to see through my rage. Costia wouldn’t have wanted me to do what I was doing. These were my people. They may not be a part of the coalition yet, but one day they would be. I owe my people everything, I owe them protection, but instead all I brought them was death. I needed to fix it, I needed to be a stronger, better leader. So I pulled everyone out of Azgeda, and I spent my time working hard to being that leader, to giving everything to my people, to making her proud. Less than a month after my attacks, I had added the twelfth clan to the coalition. I had achieved mine and Costia’s dream of peace. It was the right way to honor, instead of being led by my rage, and it was the best way for me to be the leader that everyone needed me to be.”

“She would be proud of you,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa smiled sadly, “I hope so.”

“She would be. You have become a fantastic leader. You have saved your people countless times, and you still fight for them to this day. You realized your mistake, you fixed it, and you made life better for your people. She would be just as proud of you as I am,” Clarke said earnestly.

Lexa looked at Clarke with a look of awe on her face, “I love you.”

Clarke smiled, “I love you too.”

They stayed silent for a few moments before Lexa spoke, “About today, I get that you need to be the one to talk to Emerson. You can get to him in ways no one else can, but you don’t have to do this. I can do it. I’ve done it plenty of times in my life, and I’m sure I will have to do it again in the future.”

“I know,” Clarke said quietly. “But I have to do this. We need answers and we need them now. I won’t let anyone I care about get hurt because Nia wants to make me suffer. I know how to torture. I know how to get the answers that I need. I just need you to trust me, and let me do it.”

“Then I will,” Lexa said. “It’s time we get to it.” The two of them crawled out of bed and started getting dressed for the day. It didn’t take them long before they were up and ready. They ate breakfast together in silence before making their way out of their tent.

They headed straight for the prison tent, where Indra and a couple of guards were waiting. “If you want to stop at any point Clarke, then do it,” Lexa said.

“I will,” Clarke promised before turning to face Indra. “You ready?” 

The older woman nodded and then entered the tent. Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke on the cheek before taking a few steps back to give Clarke some space. Clarke took a deep breath and faced the entrance to the tent. “Okay Clarke, you can do this,” she whispered to herself before opening the flap and stepping in.

/////

Clarke walked into the room and scanned the tent. There was a table set up with all the tools that Clarke had requested and Emerson was still tied to the pole in the center of the tent. He was bruised and bloodied, clearly beaten from Indra and Lexa’s previous torture. It wasn’t anything major, hence why they didn’t get any answers, but the look on his face clearly showed that he was in pain.

When he noticed her arrival, he tried to stand taller and look less in pain than he really was. “Welcome back,” Emerson said, voice strained. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I want answers,” Clarke said coldly.

Emerson scoffed “And why would I tell you anything?”

Clarke smirked, “Because otherwise, it’s going to hurt.”

Emerson tried to laugh, but it only jostled his injured ribs and he had to bite back a wince. “You know,” he grunted. “When Nia first told me that the massacre of the rogues was led by you and not Ontari, I didn’t believe her. But then I saw you, I saw the look in your eyes, and I knew it was true. You were broken. We broke you.”

Clarke swallowed as the memories surfaced, “You’re right. You did. I was broken, but I learned how to put the pieces back together. And I’m not completely healed, but I’m getting better. You broke me, but you didn’t beat me. Now, I want answers.”

Emerson frowned, not getting the reaction he was hoping to get by bringing up the massacre, “So what? You’re going to torture me?”

“Unless you talk,” Clarke said blankly.

“Do you even feel regret for what you did to my people?” Emerson tried changing directions.

“No,” Clarke said simply. “I don’t regret saving people, and I never will.”

“You killed hundreds of my people,” Emerson growled.

“And your people killed thousands,” Clarke growled back.

“Those savages don’t deserve to be free while we were trapped in the mountain,” Emerson yelled.

“And who gets to decide what they deserve? You? What gave you that right?”

“They’re savages,” Emerson seethed, spit flying from his mouth. “They’re aggressive, uneducated, and undeserving.”

“Why? Because they don’t use technology? Well maybe that’s a good thing, because technology is the reason the Earth went to shit in the first place,” Clarke said.

“How could you possibly ally yourself with savages?”

“What makes them savages? Your people were the ones who kidnapped them. Took them from their children, their parents, their husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. You took them, tortured them, drained them of their blood, and then you threw them away like trash where they were eaten alive by people that you drugged and turned into monsters. To me, you sound way more like a savage than they do,” Clarke snarled.

“We did what we had to do,” Emerson yelled, failing to see the darkness of his people.

“I’m done arguing with you Emerson. It’s time for some answers,” Clarke said as she walked to the table in the room and picked up a small knife, rolling it a few times between her fingers before stepping away. “What is Nia planning?”

“I’ll never tell you,” Emerson said.

Clarke walked up to him and grabbed his hand. She put the tip of the blade underneath his finger and applied a little pressure, just enough to make Emerson aware of what she was about to do. “Last chance.”

“No,” Emerson said.

Clarke didn’t hesitate. She used the knife to rip the fingernail clean off his hand. He cried out in pain, but he wasn’t going to let Clarke beat him.

Clarke continued to question him, Emerson continued to refuse to answer, and Clarke continued to punish him for it. Indra stood silently in the back and watched, impressed and honestly a little scared, although she would never admit it, over what Clarke could do.

When Clarke had removed all of his nails and broken a few of his fingers, she stopped and walked back to the table. She considered her options before her gaze zeroed in on a mallet. She knew this tool well. It was one of Severna’s favorites. It shattered bone much easier than one would expect. Clarke wrapped her hand around the wooden handle and tapped the mallet in her palm a few times before moving back towards Emerson.

His breathing was heavy and his arms and hands were trembling, but he was still trying to fight her. When she approached with the mallet, he tried to pull away, but his bonds weren’t letting him go anywhere. “This will all stop, if you just tell me what Nia is planning.”

Emerson swallowed thickly but he stayed quiet. He watched as Clarke readied her mallet and he closed his eyes. At first nothing happened, but then he heard a sickening crunch and the most intense pain he had ever felt came from his knee. He released a gut-wrenching scream and tears began leaking out of his eyes. Clarke had shattered his knee in one swing.

“I warned you,” she said emotionlessly. “Tell me what I want to know and this will stop.”

Emerson was panting, “Ne-Never,” he grunted out.

Clarke returned to the table and grabbed a dagger, sharpened to a deadly point. She stalked towards him and when he refused her next question, the blade pierced the flesh on his stomach, then chest. He screamed in agony as Clarke continued to draw the blade across his flesh.

After what felt like hours, she took a step back and returned to the table. She grabbed a vile of some yellow liquid and turned around with a cold smirk, “This is really going to hurt. I suggest you talk before I use it.”

Emerson glared at her with as much strength as he could muster, which wasn’t much, and Clarke got her answer. She uncorked the vile and poured it into the open wounds on his flesh. Emerson screamed again and his body writhed as the poison entered his wounds. His entire body started to trembling. He had never felt a worse pain in his life. 

His screams echoed through the tent until his voice was raw. He felt like he was being burned alive and he knew he couldn’t take much more, and he didn’t. Clarke didn’t have to do much more to get him to talk. “Tell me what Nia’s plan is.”

“O..Okay,” he panted, voice strained. He told Clarke everything he knew about Nia’s plan and when he was done, he was begging for her to stop.

“I shouldn’t make your death quick. You don’t deserve it. But I’m tired of letting you breathe.” And with that, she plunged the blade of her knife into his throat. His blood shot out from his neck, covering her body and he choked for a few seconds before the life faded from his eyes and his body slumped against the pole. 

Clarke took a deep breath as she watched him take his last strangled breath and then turned around to a slightly shocked Indra. “Gather Lexa and her generals. We need to discuss what he told us and make a plan,” Clarke said and then she stumbled out of the prison tent.

She rushed from the tent, ignoring the looks she was getting from those in the camp and made her way into the trees. Luckily for her, she made it far enough away before she couldn’t hold back and she expelled everything from her stomach.

A few moments later she felt a warm hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles and the voice of her lover filtered in through her ears, calming her. After a few minutes, she finished heaving and few more moments of collecting herself, she stood up straight. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Of course,” Lexa replied softly. She had been camped near the prison tent the entire time Clarke was in there. She kept some space between her and the tent,but she never let the entrance out of her sight. She had heard the screams Emerson had made ring throughout the camp and knew that whatever Clarke had done would have an effect on her. When she saw Clarke stumble her way through the camp she followed her to check up on her. “Did he tell you anything?”

“Yes,” Clarke answered. “I asked Indra to gather the important people here. We should talk about what I learned.”

“And we will, but first let’s get you cleaned up.”

Clarke didn’t argue and she let Lexa guide her to their tent. She cleaned the blood from her skin and changed her ruined clothes, which she decided to just burn instead of clean and reuse. Lexa helped her to get cleaned up, and provided silent support for the blonde witch Clarke was grateful for. 

When she was cleaned up enough, the two exited the tent and entered Lexa’s meeting tent, where some of her generals and some members of Skaikru were waiting. Lexa took her seat at the head of the table and Clarke took a seat beside her.

“What did the last mountain man say?” One of Lexa’s general’s questioned rather impatiently.

All eyes in the room fell on Clarke who sat a little taller in her seat. “We all know which clans are allied with Nia. She has few on her side than we do, but the clans that support her are bigger and they have larger armies than the clans on our side do,” Clarke started. It was true. There were seven clans in support of Lexa, but clans like the Glowing Forest and Floukru were smaller and they tried to be more peaceful than not. Trikru helped even out the numbers being the largest clan in the coalition, and the weapons that Skaikru could provide would be helpful, but the numbers were not quite in their advantage. “She has Azgeda, Podakru, and Sankru to the north, Rock Line and Blue Cliff to the west and Shadow Valley to the south. Nia’s plan is to surround the clans that support the Commander, leaving her with a choice. We can spread out to cover all fronts, which will spread our army thin, especially with our weaker numbers. Nia will break through and make her way to Polis where she will take over. Or, we can stay close to Polis, and Nia’s army can attack and take over the other clans and then close in on Polis with the added number of people she forces to fight with her.”

The room seemed to consider her words before Lexa came to a conclusion. “We can’t spread out our armies, but we can’t let her take over the other clans either. We need more numbers, more support. We need to get gain back support of the clans that have allied themselves with Nia.”

“And how do we go about that?”

“We reinstate new leaders. We remind the people of the peace we once had and we remind them that they can have it again, but not with Nia in charge,” Lexa answered.

“I think you’re right,” Clarke said. “Shallow Valley would be the best place to start. We’re close to it now, and King Zayn doesn’t have a lot of support. We talk to his people, gain back their support and find a new leader who will support us. Nia won’t have her army to the south and the addition of Shallow Valley will help us in this fight.”

“We’ll need more numbers to take over another clan,” Octavia supplied from her seat beside Lincoln.

“Skaikru will be happy to provide our services,” Kane said.

Lexa nodded, “Indra, send riders to TonDC and the nearest villages. Tell them to mobilize their warriors and have them meet us at Arkadia.”

“Sha Heda,” Indra replied before leaving the tent to do as Lexa asked.

“Abby and I will ride to Arkadia tonight and gather those who can help,” Kane said.

“Do it,” Lexa answered. “We will meet you there tomorrow.”

Kane bowed and then exited the tent to head back to Arkadia. “As for the rest of you,” Lexa started, “Get ready, we leave tomorrow.”

The room all agreed and quickly exited the tent, leaving a tired looking Clarke and Lexa behind. Lexa grabbed Clarke’s hand and led her out of the tent and back to their own tent. She led Clarke to the back where her tub had been filled with warm water by her servants per her request. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she whispered before she started to strip Clarke of her clothing, and then she stripped herself. She stepped into the bath and pulled Clarke in with her. Lexa leaned up against the end of the tent and Clarke sat between her legs with her back pressed up against Lexa’s front.

Lexa reached for her soap and gently rubbed it across Clarke’s body and through her hair, cleaning the girl as thoroughly as she could. Clarke relaxed into the bath and let Lexa take care of her, cleaning her skin and making her feel free of the blood that stained her body from her actions earlier in the day. Once her skin was clean, Lexa moved to her hair, massaging the blonde’s scalp and cleaning her completely.

When she was done she wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde’s midsection and held her tightly, and Clarke melted into the embrace. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Lexa responded by leaving a trail of kisses across Clarke’s shoulder and neck, tracing patterns on the blonde’s thigh under the water. “I know what you did today was difficult. If you want to talk about it, I’m here and I always will be. You are so strong Clarke and I am so proud of you.”

Clarke let out a shaky breath and rested her head back on Lexa’s shoulder. She didn’t want to talk about it and she was glad Lexa was providing her the opportunity without forcing her. All she wanted was for Lexa to hold her, and the brunette seemed content to do just that.

They stayed in the water until it grew cold and then the two stepped out. They dried each other off, leaving gentle kisses on the others exposed skin, before making their way to the bed. They didn’t bother putting clothes on and they both climbed under the warm furs.

Lexa wrapped her body protectively around the blonde and Clarke pushed back into the brunette wanting to have as much skin contact as possible with the only woman who gave her strength and made her feel safe. “I love you,” Clarke whispered quietly but strongly to her love.

Lexa kissed Clarke’s shoulder and wrapped her arms tighter around the blonde. “I love you Clarke. I always have and I always will.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's the next chapter. It's a lot of dialogue and really it's just filler because I wanted to get a chapter up in time, but I hope you like it. There is smut in this chapter, and I'm going to be honest, I'm not the best at writing it, but I did my best. Also, I got a request to post this story on ff.net and I did if any of you want to go read it over there. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter, and please let me know what you think.

Clarke awoke abruptly, her eyes wide and body hot and drenched in sweat. She panicked momentarily before her vision cleared and focused on the sleeping brunette beside her and instantly she calmed. She took a deep breath and slowly pulled herself out of Lexa’s embrace, careful not to wake her, and sat up.

She took a deep breath to clear her mind, but she couldn’t quite shake the images that had plagued her nightmares. Emerson’s bloody, tortured body was clear in her mind and she could remember every detail, every thought, every smell from what she had done to him. 

It wasn’t regret, she didn’t regret doing what she had done. She had gotten and he had gotten what he deserved. She didn’t regret that, but she still felt something, something that she couldn’t quite place. He had done so much to her, so much to others, he didn’t deserve mercy. Did that mean he deserved torture? Maybe, maybe not, but Clarke shook the thoughts from her mind. It doesn’t matter now. Emerson is dead and now she has at least some sort of idea of what Nia’s planning.

It was still early morning. No one would be awake for a few more hours, but Clarke knew she wasn’t going to go back to sleep. She never did after a nightmare. Usually she would get up and train, but today she decided she would stay in bed. She curled up into Lexa’s side and just gazed at the peaceful features of the woman she loved. She looked so calm when she slept and Clarke loved it. She ran her hand up and down the brunette’s arm, tracing her tattoo and settled in.

A few minutes later though, Lexa stirred, a quiet groan escaping her lips. Then green eyes were opened, still heavy from sleep. Lexa blinked a few times before her eyes locked onto awake blue eyes. “Clarke, what are you doing up?” She husked, voice heavy from sleep.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Clarke replied, hand still tracing the tattoo, but her eyes were locked on her love’s.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, voice now sounding more awake. She didn’t miss the fact that Clarke avoided answering her question, but she also didn’t need and answer. She knew. “How long have you been up?”

“Not long,” she replied

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lexa offered softly.

Clarke sighed and rolled over to lay on her back, staring straight up at the top of the tent. “I hate what I’m capable of,” she admitted. “I know I needed answers, and I’m not sorry I got them. But I step in that room and I don’t hesitate. I do what I have to, no matter what it is.”

“We do what we have to. It’s who we are,” Lexa replied.

“I can still hear his screams,” Clarke whispered. “I know you heard them too. They’re echoing in my mind and it won’t stop. I hate Emerson for everything he made me do, and I don’t regret getting answers from him, but I can’t help feeling… I don’t know… bad.”

“And that’s what makes you so incredible,” Lexa said, pausing to turn Clarke’s head so their eyes met. “You care about everyone no matter what.”

“Sometimes, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing,” Clarke admitted.

Lexa smiled softly, “I think it is. I think it’s what makes you such a good leader.”

Clarke nodded and kissed her on the forehead. “Did Indra fill you in on what happened in that tent?”

“A little, but we didn’t have much time to talk.” Clarke nodded and her eyes failed to meet Lexa’s. Lexa, of course, knew immediately why, “Clarke, I’ve seen worse, I’ve heard worse, I’ve done worse.”

“Me too,” Clarke admitted sadly.

“None of it will ever change the way I think or feel about you.”

“I know,” Clarke said softly. And it was true. She knew how Lexa felt about her. Sometimes, she would feel fear creep up on her. The idea that Clarke would do or had done something so bad, Lexa would hate her for it, but the brunette had reassured her so often and Clarke was so sure of their shared feelings, she was able to push those thoughts aside.

“And I’m so sorry Clarke,” Lexa said softly, a clear vulnerability in her eyes and the slight waver of her voice.

“No,” Clarke shook her head. “Don’t do that. None of this is your fault.” Lexa opened her mouth to argue, but Clarke held a finger up to her lips and continued. “You did what you had to to save your people. Was it the right decision? Maybe, maybe not. You made a decision that you thought was best. One that you made for the sake of your people. I will never, ever, blame you for that.”

“Clarke, you were tortured and forced to do horrible things for two years. I should have done something, should have tried harder to find you.”

“Hey,” Clarke stopped her. “Listen to me. In my entire life, I have only ever two people fight for me. My father, and you. Up on the Ark, my dad was all I had. My mom was always busy, and basically everyone else hated me. I was privileged. I got more than everyone else because of who my parents were. I didn’t ask for it, but I got it. My father, he was my rock. He was the one who made me feel better, who gave me strength up there. Then he was killed and I was locked up for a year, then sent down to the ground with a bunch of kids who hated me. And I fought for them, and eventually made friends with them, I even made a family with some, but they all had someone to fight for. I was never picked first. Why would Octavia pick me when she had Bellamy and vice versa. Why would anyone pick me? After Finn, Raven blamed me. After the missile, Octavia blamed me. When Bellamy found out Octavia was in TonDC when the missile was a threat, he was pissed at me. And honestly, they had every right to be mad at me.” Clarke sighed. “I put everyone else before me, but no one ever put me before anyone else. But you, you do. And I don’t mean you keep me at a higher level than your people, you can’t and I don’t blame you for that, but you do what you can for me. No one has ever fought for me Lexa, but you have. You fight for me. You never stopped looking for me after what happened on the mountain. Even my mom stopped, but you never did. And when we were reunited, you did everything you could for me. You were patient, you defended me as much as you could, you protected me, and you have no idea how grateful I am for that. For you. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, ok?”

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat. “I love you,” she whispered reverently.

Clarke smiled, “I love you too.”

Lexa rolled so she was on top of the blonde. “Let me show you,” she whispered and leaned down to connect their lips. The two were completely naked, so neither had to worry about clothing getting in the way.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck as they pressed their lips together, their tongues meeting, making them both groan into the others mouth. The kiss lasted a while before they broke apart, Clarke to gasp for air and Lexa to move and leave a trail of kisses down her jawline and neck.

Lexa took her time gently sucking and nipping the exposed skin of the woman she loved, taking her time to map out her body fully and give proper attention to each scar that she passed. 

Clarke closed her eyes and let a wave of pleasure wash over her as Lexa’s lips and tongue traced over her skin. She gasped when she felt a warm mouth wrap around one of her pert nipples. 

Lexa’s tongue circled and lashed across the rosy bud as her other hand reached up to squeeze and roll the other one. Clarke moaned and arched her back into Lexa’s mouth and hand and she felt heat start to pool in the pit of her stomach.

Lexa continued her ministrations for a few moments before she began to move lower until she was in between the blonde’s legs. She gazed up at Clarke and their eyes connected momentarily before Lexa lowered herself down towards her core, diving in without teasing.

She ran her tongue through the blonde’s folds a few times before wrapping her lips around Clarke’s clit and sucking gently. Clarke moaned loudly, which spurred Lexa on, and she applied more pressure from her mouth.

She used her tongue to lash at the sensitive bud and she slowly ran her hand up the inside of Clarke’s thigh before reaching her entrance. She circled it slowly, feeling the wetness coat her fingers and Clarke’s thighs before slowly pushing in one digit.

Clarke’s back arched off the bed and she groaned loudly, “Fuck, Lex,” she whispered. Lexa felt her own wave of arousal at the sound of her voice and she continued what she was doing.

Lexa slowly pushed in another finger and the blonde mewled at the pleasure coursing through her body, her nerves on fire. Clarke’s hands reached down and tangled themselves in Lexa’s hair before gently pulling.

Lexa looked up from her position and met Clarke’s blue, hooded eyes. “Come here,” Clarke whispered and Lexa didn’t hesitate to move up and reconnect their lips, her fingers still continuing what they were doing.

“I love you,” Clarke groaned as Lexa’s fingers curled and hit her front wall perfectly.

“I love you too,” Lexa whispered and then gasped as she felt Clarke’s hand start to circle her clit before sliding down to her opening and pushing in two fingers. She pumped them quickly, twisting and curling to hit all the right places and they were both writhing messes as they continued to pleasure each other.

Lexa added pressure to Clarke’s clit and she moaned loudly, her core tightening as she approached her peak. “Together,” she breathed out before twisting her fingers in the way she knew Lexa loved.

Lexa moaned, although much more quietly then Clarke did. Then, their lips connected in a hot passionate kiss and they both groaned into it before succumbing to their own orgasms. They both continued their ministrations, prolonging the other’s orgasm before the collapsed into a heap of limbs on the bed.

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke and pulled her tightly into her body. “Sleep now love. Tomorrow we go to Arkadia, and then we work on beating Nia.”

Clarke nodded and nuzzled into Lexa’s neck before falling into a much more comfortable sleep than before.

/////

It only took a few hours to reach Arkadia. Lexa and Clarke had awoken earlier in the same position they had fallen asleep in. They bathed and ate together before preparing their people and heading out to Arkadia.

They rode side by side the entire journey and finally reached Arkadia. A lot of Lexa’s army was already gathered and had set up camp in the clearing outside Arkadia’s walls, but there were still a few more warriors that had yet to arrive.

Lexa and Clarke both dismounted as they entered the camp, their horses quickly taken by two young seconds. Lexa turned to Clarke to gauge her feelings at the moment. She knew this was the first time Clarke had seen Arkadia since she left and she was unsure of what feelings being back would stir within her.

What she saw wasn’t surprising. Clarke was nervous, a little uncomfortable, but she looked strong and Lexa admired her greatly for it. She reached out and gave Clarke a gentle, comforting squeeze before Indra approached them. “Heda, your army is almost gathered. There are some generals who would like a word with you.”

Lexa nodded. “Thank you Indra. I will see them momentarily,” she replied. Indra recognized it as a dismissal and bowed before walking off, barking out a few orders to some of the men she passed. Lexa turned to Clarke, “Are you ok here?”

Clarke nodded, “I’m fine. Go tend to your business and I’ll see you later.”

Lexa nodded before scanning her surroundings. “I love you.”

Clarke smiled and her shoulders visibly relaxed which in turn, allowed Lexa to relax, “I love you too. Now go.”

Lexa nodded and walked off to deal with her army and Clarke headed to the gates of Arkadia. She stopped outside the metal entrance and took a deep breath.

“Home sweet home,” Raven said as she came up to stand beside the blonde.

Clarke scoffed, “This place was never home.”

Octavia limped up from the other side of the blonde, “Damn right.”

They both turned, “What are you doing up?” Clarke asked in concern.

Octavia waved them off, “I’m fine. Are we gonna go in?”

Clarke swallowed and returned her gaze to the gate, “I guess so.” She took a hesitant sep forward, her two friends at her back, before she finally walked into Arkadia for the first time in over two years.

It didn’t really feel like what Clarke expected, although she wasn’t really sure what to expect. Honestly nothing felt wrong. Arkadia had certainly thrived during her absence. They had expanded in area. There were crops growing in the farms, more grounder looking huts had been built, and there were grounders freely walking through the camp. There were trading posts and kids running around playing and even a bar was set up with people sitting at tables drinking and talking.

Clarke just stopped and stared, taking it all in, but it didn’t take long for people to notice. Clarke saw the eyes that were trained on her. She could see some people pointing and some leaning in to whisper to others, but it didn’t feel as bad as Clarke thought it would.

She was used to the stares now, and the mountain didn’t haunt her like it once had. Being in Arkadia felt oddly ok. It didn’t take long for the people Clarke actually knew to notice her, Raven, and Octavia and they all came to greet them.

Miller was the first to reach them and he didn’t hesitate to wrap her up in a tight embrace. “Clarke,” he exclaimed. “Holy shit you’re back. It’s so good to see you,” he said before moving to greet Octavia, Raven, and Bellamy, who had appeared beside his sister.

“Yeah, I’m back,” Clarke confirmed. “It’s good to see you too Miller,” she said. After that, more of the hundred came and they all reunited with their past leader, thrilled beyond belief to see her alive and seemingly well. 

The group decided to head to the bar and grab a drink before sitting down and reuniting. They talked for a while, and Clarke was relieved to feel happy instead of all those negative feelings she was afraid she would feel upon her return. 

She loved hearing about how peaceful it was in Arkadia and she enjoyed hearing all the stories her friends had to share with her. They asked her a fair share of questions too and Clarke answered all of them to the best of her ability without going too deep into the bad stuff.

All in all Clarke felt really good being back, but of course, not everyone was happy to see her.

“Well well well, look who decided to return home. The Mountain Murderer,” a drunken Jasper stumbled over towards the group.

The smile that was on Clarke’s face immediately faltered and all the conversation around her stopped. “Jasper,” Clarke greeted plainly. She was well aware of the lack of care Jasper had had for himself since the events at the mountain.

“I was hoping I would never see you again,” he said, taking another sip from his drink.

“Jasper,” Bellamy growled, standing up to remove him from their presence.

Clarke grabbed his arm, “No. Let him say what he has to say.

Bellamy eyed her before nodding and returning to his seat, still tense.

Jasper snorted, “Look at that. The guard dog returns to his master’s side. Why am I not surprised?”

“Just say what you have to say to me Jasper,” Clarke deadpanned. She could feel the entire mood of the group shift and she knew Monty was watching the interaction closely. She just wanted to get it over with quickly.

“Do you even regret killing all those people?”

“No,” Clarke answered quickly. “I don’t.”

Jasper stared at her, eyes wide, having not expected her to answer like that, but his surprise quickly turned to rage. “You killed hundreds of people and you don’t even care?”

“I saved my people,” Clarke defended her actions. “It was us or them, and I chose us. And I would do it again if I had to.”

Jasper’s eyes flicked over to those sitting beside Clarke, “And you’re all ok with this. With supporting a murderer?”

“We’re supporting our friend,” Octavia snapped. “We’re supporting the person who saved us and sacrificed everything for us.”

Jasper scoffed and shook his head, his angry gaze returning to Clarke, “I don’t know how you sleep at night.”

“I don’t,” Clarke replied simply, getting a few concerned looks from her friends, but she ignored them. “I don’t regret what I did Jasper, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t haunt me.”

“Good,” Jasper sneered. “You deserve it.”

“Maybe I do,” Clarke agreed. “Now is that all you have to say to me?”

“Oh I’m just getting started.”

“Look Jasper, you can call me a murderer or a monster or any other name you can think of. I’ve heard it all. It won’t change what happened. I’m sorry about Maya-”

“-Don’t say her name-”

“-I didn’t want that to happen, but I had no choice. And I’m sorry that you’re in pain, but you need to get your head out of your ass,” Clarke said. Jasper’s face looked like he had just been slapped as Clarke continued, “Do you think you’re the only one who is hurting? Do you think you’re the only one who feels pain? Fuck, Jasper we’ve all lost someone, but you don’t see any of us getting drunk every night and wallowing in our own misery. I’ve lost people too, we all have, so stop acting like your special. Stop acting like your the only one in pain. Get up, move on, and start living. Do you have any idea what you’re doing, not only to yourself, but to the people who care about you? Look at Monty,” Clarke said, pointing at her distressed friend. “He is your best friend. All he has done is try to comfort you and be there for you and all you’ve done is treat him like shit. Same with Bellamy and Raven and Octavia and everyone else. We’re all in pain, but we’re all fighting and working past it. There are people who actually care about you here, and they want to be by your side, but they’re not going to be there forever. You either get your head out of your ass and move forward, or you stay here alone and in pain. Maya is gone, but we are here, but we won’t be forever. So get up and move on with your friends by your side, or suffer alone,” Clarke finished before storming off, leaving Arkadia entirely and walking into the Trikru camp outside.

She walked alone for awhile before entering Lexa’s meeting tent. There were a couple of generals and Abby and Kane, but they were all dismissed when Clarke entered. “Are you alright?” Lexa asked, sensing some anger from Clarke.

“I’m good,” Clarke answered. “Everything ok with your army.”

Lexa knew when not to push Clarke so she moved on to answer the blonde’s question. “Yes, we will be good to leave tomorrow.”

Clarke nodded and then Lexa approached her and held her tightly. She didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything, she just her. After a few minutes they broke apart and left the meeting tent to head to their own tent.

They stripped out of their armor and cleaned themselves off without saying a word to the other, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. When the two were ready, they climbed into bed. Lexa first and she held her arms out for Clarke.

The blonde climbed in and rested her head on her chest and sighed. “It feels weird being back here.”

“How so?”

Clarke shook her head, “I don’t know how to explain it. I left because I couldn’t handle seeing all the people that I saved. I knew that being in Arkadia would never allow me the chance to recover and clear my head. I expected feeling like I did then when we got here, but I don’t. Arkadia doesn’t feel the same as it once did to me by any means, but it doesn’t feel as awful as I expected it to.”

“Because you found peace,” Lexa explained. “You learned to accept and live with what you did, and now it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”

“I guess,” Clarke said. “I don’t know. I guess I just expected to be hit with pain, sorrow, regret, something bad you know. Not relief, I think is the word, at seeing how much Arkadia has thrived and the people have grown.” All except for Jasper, she thought.

Lexa nodded. “Your people have thrived, and they have you to thank for it. And you’re allowed to feel relief Clarke. You’re allowed to feel positive feelings instead of negative.”

Clarke sighed as she burrowed deeper into Lexa’s embrace. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Lexa kissed the top of Clarke’s head, “Anything for you. Now get some rest.”

/////

Clarke didn’t sleep through the night, but shortly after she woke up, Lexa did too and the two spent some time talking and basking in the others presence before they needed to get up.

When morning finally came, the two got up and dressed, and they ate and joked around together before exiting the comfort of their tent.

Lexa delivered a quick speech to her people, including the Skaikru warriors that would be joining the army, informing them of where they were going and why. After that Clarke and Lexa were on their horses, leading their army south towards the Shallow Valley.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know this chapter is up a day late and I'm sorry about that. I got a new job and a new puppy and school is starting soon so I have a lot going on. I'm working hard to keep this story on track so just bare with me. Know though that no matter what this story will not be abandoned. I would never do that to you guys. Anyway, I hope you like this one. Let me know what you think!

The march to Shallow Valley took two and a half days. The capital of Shallow Valley, Murdock, was luckily located along the border of Shalley Valley, also near the border of Trikru and Broadleaf territory, so they didn’t have to ride into Shallow Valley territory to get to their target location. 

Lexa and Clarke rode atop their horses at the front of the army with Indra, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, and few other Trikru generals behind them. They had sent riders ahead to gather a few warriors from Broadleaf and when the army was at its full capacity, they marched to the edge of Trikru land, right along the Shallow Valley border. 

Lexa stopped her white stallion as one of her scouts approached. Her and Clarke dropped gracefully to the ground as did the scout and they grasped forearms in introduction.

“Heda, Wanheda,” the scout bowed his head. “We cleared the area of as many scouts as possible, however Shallow Valley are know best for their scouts, so it is likely that there are still more. I still have men out searching for them.”

Lexa nodded along as he gave her all the information he knew. She had expected as much. The scout continued, “We only watched Murdock from afar, as ordered. It seems their army is mobilized, ready to move on a moment's notice, but it seems they have been that way for a while. It does not look like they have any orders to move. Yet.”

“And what of their King?” Lexa questioned.

“He does not appear to be present,” the scout answered.

“Thank You,” Lexa stated. “Continue to watch for scouts and to watch Murdock. Do not approach until I give the orders. Inform me if you learn of anything important.”

The man bowed. “Sha Heda,” he said before returning to his horse and riding back towards Shallow Valley.

“King Zayn is likely with Queen Nia,” Clarke stated from beside Lexa. “She will have ordered the army to be ready to move, but Azgeda and Shallow Valley are too far away for Zayn to return here. He is likely in Azgeda and delivering his orders through messengers.”

Lexa hummed in agreement and turned to Indra who was still on her horse behind them. “Indra, we set up camp here. I want enough guards on the perimeter of our camp. Shallow Valley scouts are highly skilled and if we miss any they may report to their army. We are not in their territory yet, but we are close, and if they feel threatened, their army is already massed and they will attack us. I do not want us caught off guard.”

“Sha Heda,” Indra said, before turning around and issuing orders to those in the camp.

A little while later, the camp was set up and Lexa and Clarke were in the Commander’s tent. They had eaten a late lunch together and Lexa was reading through a few reports that Luna had sent her from Polis while Clarke was polishing all of her many knives. It was quiet but it was comfortable, and both of them were just happy to be in the others presence.

That quiet however, was broken by Raven who barged into the Commander’s tent, ignoring the guards outside who tried to stop her from entering, followed by Octavia.

The guards entered the tent to remove the two Skaikru, but Lexa waved them off with a flick of her wrist. 

Raven sauntered in and sat down at the table in the center of the tent, putting her feet up, which Lexa narrowed her eyes at. “You should really just tell your guards that we’re allowed in your tent whenever we want,” Raven said casually.

“But then you’d be in my tent whenever you wanted,” Lexa replied which earned a snort from Clarke and caused Raven to gape at her for a split second.

Raven was about to snap back with something, but was stopped by Octavia who swatted her feet off the table and took a seat beside her. “So what’s the plan now that we’re here?”

“Clarke and I were going to discuss that once I was done reading these reports,” Lexa said. “I guess we can do it now.”

Clarke slid all the knives that she had taken out to be cleaned and polished back into their proper places and stood from the couch she had been seated on. “I don’t think attacking straight on is a good idea,” she started. “Their army is ready to go. Even if we were to somehow catch them by surprise, they would recover quickly. There would be a lot of losses on both sides and right now we can’t afford that.”

“I agree,” Lexa said. “We want Shallow Valley to join our side, we’re not here to wipe them out. Plus the loss of men would be a burden when we move on to Azgeda.”

“So what’s the plan?” Octavia repeated.

Clarke sighed and her brow crinkled, deep in thought, “They don’t know we’re here yet, and King Zayn isn’t present here. I think we need to use his absence to aid us.”

“It’s a good thought,” Lexa said. “But the Shallow Valley are a loyal people. They won’t turn on their leader so easily.”

“That’s true,” Clarke conceded. “But there have to be people who still support you. After the mountain, we were at peace for two years. Everyone benefited from that. There have to be people who want to return to that.”

“Maybe,” Lexa agreed.

“I heard that King Zayn was communicating with his army through messengers. We could try to take them out and keep them from delivering their orders,” Octavia proposed.

“No, it’s too risky. If one messenger gets by us, then they’ll be aware of everything,” Lexa shot down.

The room fell into silence, the four women deep in thought, until an idea came to Clarke. “I need to go in there,” she said. “Well, actually, not me specifically, but The Shadow.”

“What?” the room questioned.

“Look, I’ve been to Murdock before. I know it pretty well. I know the ins and outs and I know of a few places to hide. Here’s what I’m thinking. I go in as The Shadow. No one will see me because,” she shrugged, “Well they never do. I go in, and just get a read on the place. I find out who’s in charge, what their plan is if they have one, and I find those people that support you. I know that there are some in there, and I can find them. Maybe I can find a weak spot or something or someone that can help us. Maybe there’s someone that the people will support as their leader as opposed to King Zayn.”

“You want to stage a coup,” Lexa realized.

“Yes.”

“But you can’t oust one leader without another one to replace him,” Raven said. “If you’re right about Shallow Valley being deeply loyal, a coup won’t work with just anyone. You’ll need someone that the people trust and value.”

“Which is why I need to go in there. I can listen for rumors, gather intel, and figure out how everyone in there feels about Zayn, this war, and a possible replacement,” Clarke explained. 

“It’s risky,” Octavia chimed in. “What if there isn’t anyone to replace Zayn?”

“Then I gather useful intel. Find a weak point that we can exploit. If we have to take out a majority of their army then so be it, but I would like at least like to spare as many members of our army as possible,” Clarke replied.

“And what if your caught?” Lexa questioned.

“I never am,” Clarke replied easily. “Look, I know it doesn’t sound like the most solid plan, and I know you don’t like me going into enemy territory, but I can do this.”

Lexa considered her options for a moment. It was true, if they attacked head on, the losses would be great, and it would cause problems in the future. However, it was also true that this was not the most solid plan and it put Clarke in danger, but if it succeeded, the loss of life would be very minimal, and if anyone could do it, it was Clarke. “Okay,” Lexa finally answered.

“Okay?”

“Yes, go see what you can find, but don’t do anything before returning and consulting with me first,” Lexa said.

“Of course.”

“And I know you can do it Clarke,” Lexa said taking a few steps closer to the blonde so they were only a few inches apart. “I do not doubt your abilities. I never have. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Clarke replied before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss to the brunettes lips.

“Aww, you guys are cute,” Raven commented, interrupting the moment. The two broke apart and Lexa glared at Raven for both cutting her kiss short and calling her cute.

Clarke took in the angry expression on Lexa’s face and smirked before turning to look at Raven, “You can say stuff like that in private, but no one else can hear you talk like that.”

Raven held up her hands in their direction, “I get it. Can’t have the people knowing their big bad Commander is actually a big bad marshmallow.”

Lexa’s glare grew a little more intimidating, if that was possible, and Clarke squeezed her wrist to keep her back. She knew Lexa wouldn’t do anything, but she held onto her anyway. “I don’t think I would continue saying stuff like that.”

“I think I- Ow!” Raven said, reaching up to rub the back of her head, which had just been slapped by Octavia. 

She grabbed Raven’s arm and started to drag her out of the tent. “We’re going to go now. Good luck out there Clarke,” Octavia said before she disappeared out of the tent with Raven.

“Your friends are annoying Clarke,” Lexa grumbled as soon as they were gone.

Clarke smiled, “I just don’t think you like being called cute.”

Lexa huffed, “The Commander is not cute.”

Clarke grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her in so their lips crashed together. “I disagree,” she said through heavy breaths. “But I like it,” and their lips collided together again before Clarke broke away. “Now I need to get ready.”

Lexa shook her head to clear herself of the daze Clarke had just put her in and nodded. “I need to go check on Indra and make sure the camp is being properly guarded. I will be back soon. Don’t leave before I return.”

“I won’t,” Clarke said before quickly pecking Lexa on the lips. “Now go. I’ll be here when you get back,” Clarke promised and she watched Lexa leave the tent before she started to switch over into The Shadow.

/////

After checking in with Indra and her guards on patrol, Lexa returned to her tent to find Clarke dressed in an all black, tight fitting uniform. She was seated on the couch, finishing applying black warpaint to her face. The entire look was intimidating to say the least, but Lexa couldn’t help but feel attracted to it. “So this is The Shadow?” 

Clarke looked up from the mirror she was using and her eyes locked on Lexa’s. That was the moment she realized Lexa had never seen her dressed like this, and she wasn’t quite sure what to say. They fell into a moment of silence which wasn’t awkward, but it also wasn’t comfortable.

After a moment Lexa opened her mouth to say something, but Clarke stood up from where she was sitting and held up a hand. “Don’t,” she said firmly. “Don’t apologize.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Yes you were. I told you not to blame yourself for what happened to me. None of it was your fault and there was nothing you could do. Stop blaming yourself,” Clarke said.

“Black looks good on you,” Lexa commented, effectively changing the subject.

Clarke smirked. “I know. We match now.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, but still smiled that small smile she has and it only made Clarke’s smile grow. “You wear it better than I do.”

“Let’s agree to disagree,” Clarke said. The moment then grew from playful to serious, “I have to get going.”

“Be careful.”

“I will.”

“Don’t do anything reckless.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “I won’t.”

Lexa walked towards Clarke and held her with both hands on her waist. “Come back to me.”

“Always,” Clarke whispered before leaning in for a deep, heated kiss, in which they were both careful of Clarke’s warpaint.

When they broke apart, they were both breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes. “I’ll be back soon. I promise,” Clarke said before kissing Lexa one last time and then exiting the tent.

The sun had already started setting when Clarke left the camp and it had been replaced by the moon by the time Clarke reached Murdock.

She entered the city without any problems. No one questioned her, no one even saw her as she made her way into Murdock. She knew the city. Had been there a few times to take out a few targets for Nia, and she knew the city pretty well. She always scouted the area before entering when she had to make a hit. That was how assassins were trained. Know every way in, know every way out, know where to go if things go wrong, know where to go to keep an eye on your target, know the location, and so she did, so walking through the city, Clarke knew where she was going.

The Shallow Valley army was gathered at the far edge of the city. Some of the houses there were used and a lot of tents were set up. The city wasn’t made to hold an entire army, so there were a lot of people living in tents for the time they were staying in Murdock. 

Clarke made her way there first to see what she could learn from them. The black of her uniform mixed with the black of night kept her hidden from view as she maneuvered her way through the city. She kept her ears open, listening for anything important that may catch her attention, and she started to notice things.

The citizens in the city were a lot more withdrawn than she remembered. There presence was not as large as it once was, and when they were out, they moved quickly and kept their eyes down and away from any of the warriors that they passed. 

She continued to make her way through the city, but she paid closer attention to the people. They were scared and withdrawn and something wasn’t right. That’s when she heard a yelp in the alleyway of a building a little ways in front of her. It was quiet. She wouldn’t have heard it if she wasn’t listening for it, but luckily she did.

She kicked into high gear and made her way forward into the alleyway where a warrior was beating a much smaller man who had to have been a farmer or blacksmith or something, a civilian. Clarke didn’t hesitate to step in. Even though she had promised Lexa she wouldn’t actually engage with anyone, she couldn’t let this stand. 

It all happened quickly. Clarke stepped into the warrior’s path and delivered a swift fist to the face, making him stumble backwards. She used his instability to pounce on him and he stumbled even further backwards until his back rammed into the side of the building. Clarke grabbed him by the hair and with all the power she had, she slammed his head into the wall, knocking him unconscious. Then she was gone. Like a shadow.

She watched from a hiding spot as the man the warrior had been beating recovered, looked for his savior to no avail and then sprinted out of the alley. When Clarke was sure he was safe she started to resume her task of scouting the city and she realized what was going on here. The warriors were taking advantage of their power and skill and taking it out on the citizens of the city. 

Based on the fear written on the citizen’s faces, it had been like this for a while. It reminded Clarke of Azgeda, where the warriors always saw themselves as above the villagers and weren't afraid to let the villagers know just how lowly they viewed them.

It pissed Clarke off a lot, but she was just one person, and there was nothing she could do about it right now. Hopefully her and Lexa could figure out some sort of plan to fix all the shit that was going on here.

Another scream filtered it’s way through the sounds of the city and into Clarke’s ears, but she had to ignore it. She had to focus on her job and find intel. Then she would be able to help the people of Shallow Valley.

Clarke made her way into the warriors camp first and tried to gather as much information as she could, but nothing stood out. After a while, she decided to move on to the citizens.

She found a tavern at the opposite end of the city where a lot of people were sitting outside so Clarke found a perch and listened for anything that could help her. She listened to a lot of different conversations and a lot of them made her blood boil.

It was confirmed, the citizens of Shallow Valley had been treated like shit for a while now. Clarke wondered how she hadn’t noticed it those months ago when she was last in Murdock, but as she really thought about it, she started to realize that she had missed the signs. 

She continued listening for a while when a conversation between two men, who looked like they should have been warriors, caught her attention. They were off to the side at their own table and speaking in hushed voices, but Clarke was in a good enough position to hear them.

“Her execution is set for sunrise. If she dies we have no chance.”

“Well what are we supposed to do. They are transporting her here, it’s not like we can just break into a prison to release her. We don’t know where or when she’ll be here.”

“I know, but there has to be something we can do. I think General Ric has the information about her. Maybe we can steal it.”

“There’s no way and you know it. We won’t get into the warrior’s camp, and even if we did, his tent is way too heavily guarded.”

“She’s our only hope. The staunch followers of King Zayn are cruel enough to keep others from rebelling against him. She is the only person who could convince them to stand up and fight, the only person who would be accepted as the leader of our people.”

That was all Clarke needed to hear. She was off, heading back towards the warriors camp and towards General Ric’s tent. 

Those two men were right. The tent was heavily guarded. Clarke could take them, but she promised she wouldn’t draw any attention to herself, and she knew that it would only cause problems if she did, so she decided to go another route. 

There was torch lit a few tents away from the general’s and Clarke quickly made her way over to it. She took it out of its holder and used the flame to set the nearest tent on fire. Once the fire started she made her way back to the general’s tent and waited.

It didn’t take long for the fire to spread and grow noticed. Warriors started crying out and yelling, all trying to find a way to put out the fire. A second later. General Ric came looming out of his tent to take in what all the fuss was about. 

He rolled his eyes and huffed something under his breath before leaving his tent with his guards to get a handle on the situation.

Once the coast was clear, Clarke sprinted for the tent and made her way inside. The tent was a mess and it smelled gross, but Clarke ignored it as she found a table piled high with papers.

She sifted through them until she found what she was looking for. She studied the paper for a few moments, before she put the paper back where it belonged. The sounds outside had died down, so she knew she needed to leave quickly, and she was just barely able to make her way out of the tent without being seen. 

Once she did, she made her way out of the camp and out of Murdock. She had an execution to stop.

/////

Clarke found a perch in a tree along the route the Shallow Valley prisoner would be brought and she waited. She was in the tree for an hour before she heard her target approaching.

A woman was bound and being led by six burly guards. The woman was arguing with them, yelling at them, standing her ground and Clarke could immediately tell that she was going to like this woman.

She waited for them to get closer until they right below her. “You’re making a mistake,” the woman growled.

“You tried to commit treason against your King,” one of the men replied.

“I tried to save my people,” she yelled back. “King Zayn is a monster, hungry for power and control. He is not a good leader for our people.” 

The response she got from that was a punch to the gut, causing the woman to fold over in pain. “You will not speak ill of King Zayn,” and that was when Clarke snapped into action.

She dropped her tree, landing on the first guard, and punching him hard in the face. She reached for her arm and grabbed two knives. One she launched into the eye of one of the guards and the other she used to plunge into the heart of the man she was on top of. Two down, four to go.

Clarke paried back and forth with the remaining four men, taking down two of them, before she felt a blade cut down her side.

She hissed in pain, but fought through it, rolling to her side to avoid another blade and then taking down the third man. The last man charged at her and Clarke quickly reached for a knife on her thigh and launched it through the air.

The blade met the man’s eye and killed him instantly, dropping him like a log. 

Clarke stood in the clearing, panting heavily, covered in blood, with six dead bodies surrounding her and a bound woman.

The woman looked at the black figure before her with wide eyes. “Thank you,” she said hesitantly, not sure if this person was friend or foe.

Clarke’s hood was up, covering her face, plus her paint was on, so the woman hadn’t seen her face, and Clarke had to keep it that way. She couldn’t have this person finding out she was The Shadow.

She approached the woman slowly, putting away her blades to show the woman she wasn’t going to hurt her, and the next thing the woman knew, Clarke’s arm was around her neck, “I’m sorry about this,” Clarke breathed into her ear and then she was out.

/////

Clarke burst into Lexa’s tent and the brunette was immediately on her feet. With Clarke in Murdock, she hadn’t been able to sleep so she had been waiting for her return on the couch. “What the hell happened?” Lexa asked as Clarke approached, with an unconscious woman in her arms. She set her down on the table, breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry. I know I said I wouldn’t get involved with anything before speaking to you, but I had to. She-”

Clare was cut off by Lexa’s lips on her own. When they separated, Lexa’s hands came up to cup her cheeks, “What happened?” She questioned softly.

“They were going to kill her at sunrise, and I think she’s our best chance for a coup. I had to save her,” Clarke explained.

“I don’t blame you Clarke,” Lexa said as she approached the girl at the table. She took in a sharp breath when she recognized the woman. “Zora.”

“You know her?”

“She’s Zayn’s sister. Princess of Shallow Valley.”

“Thank god,” Clarke breathed in relief, her thought that this woman could lead a coup being confirmed.

She moved over to the couch in the tent and collapsed onto it with a wince, which Lexa noticed immediately.

Her eyes widened, “You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine Lexa,” she said as the brunette walked over to her quickly and knelt down before her. Lexa of course, was having none of it. She lifted up the blonde’s shirt carefully, cringing as she saw Clarke wince. She took in the gash and was relieved to see that it wasn’t too bad.

“I’m going to fetch your mother,” Lexa said.

Clarke grabbed her arm before she could leave, “Lexa don’t. Just let her sleep. I’m fine. The wound isn’t that bad and I can treat it here.”

Lexa knew not to argue so she made her way towards one of her dressers and took out a bag of medical supplies.

A few minutes later, Clarke had the wound cleaned, she changed into different clothing to get out of The Shadow’s clothes, and she had Lexa wrap a bandage around her abdomen. “Thank you,” Clarke said when Lexa was done. 

Lexa didn’t respond with words. Instead she leaned in and kissed Clarke, hard. “I love you,” she said when she pulled away.

Clarke grinned, “I love you too.” 

Clarke’s smile dropped when she thought about everything that had happened a few hours earlier. “Lexa we need to talk.”

Lexa realized that their moment just became serious, “What is it?”

“Lexa, the people there… It’s bad,” Clarke said.

“What do you mean?”

“The citizens are being abused, the warriors treat them like they’re less than. It looks like it’s been going on for a while.”

Lexa’s gut churned. Her people had been mistreated while they were hers to protect. She had failed to protect them, all while promising her people that she would. “How long has it been going on?”

“I don’t know,” Clarke admitted and turned to look at the unconscious woman in the room. “I think we need to wait for her to wake up, and then we’ll get our answers.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's the next chapter! It's got a good bit of dialogue so I hope you guys like that. I'd really love to hear what you guys have to say, good and bad. It really helps me and I want to know if you guys want something specific from me or if you want me to fix something. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Burning. That’s what the Princess felt as her mind slowly started to regain consciousness. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and the pain in her throat was the worst with each breath.

Her eyelids felt heavy and she struggled just to get her mind to understand the fact that they needed to open. When she finally managed, her eyes burned from the light in the room. It wasn’t very bright in the room, but her eyes didn’t seem to understand that. The few candles and torches that were lit looked like they were as bright as the sun. 

This wasn’t right. She wasn’t supposed to be feeling this way. Why the hell was she feeling this pain? What was going on? She needed to find out.

She groaned in pain as she forced her body to obey her mind and sat up. Her eyes were still struggling to adjust to the light, but she could still see the shape of someone approaching her.

She felt a warm hand reach out and land on her shoulder and a voice she recognized, but couldn’t place, spoke to her.

“Zora?” Lexa asked as she approached the groggy princess.

Zora squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again and shook her head to clear her mind of its fog, and the frame of the Commander became clear. “Heda?” She rasped.

A blonde woman appeared from behind the Commander. She reached for something on the table beside her and brought a cup of water up to the Princess’s lips. Zora drank slowly, holding back a wince from the pain in her throat, until she finished drinking the contents in the cup. 

“Wanheda,” Zora greeted as she realized who the blonde woman was. The rumors of the gorgeous, golden haired skai girl had done her justice. “What happened? Where am I?”

“You are in my tent in the Trikru camp,” Lexa answered, pointedly ignoring the first question. “We are on the border of Trikru and Shallow Valley land.”

Zora nodded as she took in the information, and then repeated her yet unanswered question, “What happened to me?”

Lexa hesitated for a split second, but Clarke was able to step in easily. She had lied about many events revolving around The Shadow. “We’re not exactly sure. Some of our scouts found you unconscious in the woods, surrounded by six dead bodies. Whoever killed them escaped, but for some reason, they left you alive for us to find.”

Clarke’s description was all Zora needed to remember what had happened to her. The person in black had saved her ass, but then knocked her out. Zora was skeptical though because the six other guards were dead, making her the only survivor. No one said anything about another person being involved in the fight. She raised a brow, “How do you know I wasn’t the one who killed them?”

Clarke smirked, “Your hands were bound, your body shows no sign of you being in a fight other than the slight bruising around your neck, the weapons used were not common issue of Shallow Valley, which means none of the guards would have been carrying them, and they would be stupid to allow they’re prisoner to have any weapons on them, plus there were signs of eight people in the fight, but only seven bodies.”

Zora nodded, satisfied with the answer. “I don’t know who it was. They moved so fast. One minute I’m being led to my death, the next my six guards are dead and there’s an arm wrapped around my neck.”

“Why were you being led to your death?” Lexa questioned.

Zora rolled her shoulders to relieve the ache in her muscles which both Clarke and Lexa noticed. They helped the girl to stand and moved her to a chair that was much more comfortable for her to be on, and they took a seat across her from, next to each other on the couch. “I suppose there’s no harm in telling you. I was always a supporter of you and your coalition anyway,” Zora started. “My brother… He’s not a good leader. He’s in it for himself, not for his people. I tried to take control while he was away. It didn’t work.”

“You’re the Princess of the Shallow Valley. You know how deep the loyalty of your people lies. Why would they follow you instead of your King?” Lexa questioned. She felt she already knew the answer, but she needed to hear it from someone who knows everything about what’s going in here.

“Look, King Zayn, he’s,” she sighed. “He’s power hungry. Controlling. The people aren’t being treated well. They listened to me once, I was hoping they would again.”

This seemed to pique both Lexa and Clarke’s interest. “What do you mean by they listened to you once?”

“At first, when Zayn came to power, he was a pretty good leader. He made the occasional questionable decision, but he was generally a good leader. After a while, things started to change. He grew more demanding, more controlling. He wanted power, he wanted to feel like he was unstoppable, and he did whatever he wanted in order to feel that way. The people suffered. I created a rebel group to rise against my brother. He’s my blood, and no matter what he’s done, I still love him, but I needed to put the people first. They were suffering from his leadership and I needed to put a stop to it. At first many people followed me, but the longer Zayn stayed in power, the worse he got. People started to fear him and what he could do. Many of them accepted his leadership as means to protect themselves and their families. I was hoping I could regain their support while he was gone, but he has a much stronger hold on the people than I anticipated,” Zora explained.

“What caused the change in Zayn’s leadership?” Clarke questioned. “If he was a good leader as you said, why would he suddenly flip to such a cruel one?”

“My father was a good King. He raised both Zayn and I together, teaching us both the ways of leadership, even though Zayn was the heir to the throne. Growing up, it was quite obvious, the want for power my brother had, but my father seemed to be able to contain it, along with the help of Seth, the army’s general. When father passed, Zayn took power and Seth and I were now the one’s who needed to contain his thirst for power. He listened to us, and he was a good leader. When General Seth was killed, everything went downhill,” Zora said.

Clarke’s eyes downcast as she heard Zora’s explanation. She had killed Seth, and led to the creation of a cruel King. The people of Shallow Valley were suffering, and it was her fault. Before her mind could spiral too far though, she felt Lexa’s hand wrap around hers and squeeze. Of course the brunette knew Clarke would blame herself for their suffering, and was there to pull her out of those thoughts.

Clarke looked up to meet the Commander’s eyes and smiled in thanks before returning her attention to Zora’s story.

“I tried to keep him from becoming too controlling, but I wasn’t enough. He believed that he deserved the power, the control. Instead of earning the people’s respect, he earned their fear,” Zora sighed deeply. “Zayn was harsh to the people, but he didn’t care. He did whatever he wanted to make himself feel powerful. He believed his army was above the other citizens. He allowed them much more power, allowed the to treat the citizens like animals instead of people.”

Zora paused to collect herself before continuing. “When it was clear that he was too far down that path, I knew I needed to do something. As you mentioned, my people are deeply loyal. My bloodline has been in power for decades, they wouldn’t accept just anyone as their next leader. I was the people’s only hope. I started to gather followers, people supported me, but I didn’t have enough yet to take power away from Zayn. As he got harsher, crueler, more people started to follow me. I was so close, but the rumors of my rebellion grew and Zayn found out. When it became clear that I was gaining so much support, he allied with Queen Nia,” Zora spat the name as she spoke. “The Queen provided resources, warriors, and they were too much. Zayn’s scouts found many who supported me and either killed them or threatened them. All of the high ranking rebels were killed besides me. Those who remained were so afraid, they supported Zayn to save themselves. Only a few rebels remain.”

“How did I never hear of this?” Lexa questioned.

“The people of Shallow Valley were too afraid to speak out. Anyone who would have been brave enough was found and killed by Zayn’s scouts. Any word that did leave Shallow Valley was only rumor, no one truly believed it,” Zora explained.

“Zora, I have to know.” Lexa swallowed, “What has he done to my people?”

“Lexa, I don’t think-” Clarke tried to talk Lexa out of it. She knew that, just like herself, Lexa would only blame herself.

“Clarke, I have to know,” Lexa whispered. 

Clarke nodded sadly and took Lexa’s hand. She didn’t care that Zora was able to see. She needed to be there for Lexa and she had a feeling that Zora was someone she could trust.

Zora had of course noticed the comfort between the two in the tent, and was not at all surprised when Clarke held on to Lexa’s hand. She didn’t bring it up of course. It wasn’t her business, and she didn’t mind anyway. In her mind everyone deserved happiness, and the two woman before her had definitely been through enough that they deserve theirs.

She had to swallow past the lump that had formed in her already sore throat in order to answer the Commander’s question. “His laws became stricter, and the punishments harsher. For stealing a piece of bread, the punishment went from work labor to ten to fifteen lashes. The punishments increased tenfold. People were beaten, tortured, or worse for doing something many wouldn’t even consider a crime. And the warriors,” Zora shuddered, “He gave them much more power than they deserved. Not all of them took advantage of it, there are still some good people, but many did. If a warrior felt disrespected they could punish that person however they so desired. They got away away with everything and anything, when the people never did anything to deserve it. Look, Commander, I know that we are at war with your people, but there are still good people among the Shallow Valley. The citizens have already been through enough and there are still some warriors who are good. Please, have mercy.”

Lexa was fuming, but she could sense the pain in Zora’s voice and remained calm. “We are not here to destroy your clan Zora.”

“Then what is your plan?”

“That coup you wanted to stage,” Clarke said. “We’re going to help you do that.”

“How? My execution is supposed to occur in a few hours in front of all of Murdock. If I’m seen in Shallow Valley, I will be killed. The people are still too afraid to ally themselves with me.”

“Even with Zayn not present?”

“Yes. General Ric is control when Zayn is absent. He is just as cruel if not worse than my brother. The people are too afraid of him to follow me.”

“Is he the only one holding them back?” Clarke asked.

“No, his three lieutenants, Usa, Roman, and Rina are as well. There are probably others, but those four would be the main concerns.”

Clarke nodded, a plan already forming in her mind. Lexa saw the look on Clarke’s face and knew that she was thinking. She noticed the exhaustion written across the face of Zora and she stood up, “Come, you should rest.” She led Zora to the entrance to her tent where a guard was waiting. She called him over and ordered him to take her somewhere to rest and then find Raven and Octavia and send them to her tent. Those two Skaikru annoyed her, but they were smart, and they knew Clarke’s secret so they would be a big help in planning.

Clarke was still seated on the couch, deep in thought, and Lexa began to pace the length of the tent. Her heart was hurting. She had promised her people that she would protect them, that she would be a good and fair leader. She already knew that the people of Azgeda were suffering and now, so were the people of Shallow Valley. She spent all her time telling her people how good peace would be, how she would protect them, but all along her people were being beaten and tortured and treated unfairly. She had failed them.

Clarke quickly caught on to the Commander’s distress and she popped up to her feet. She stood in her path to stop the brunette from pacing and wrapped her up in a tight hug. “Don’t do this Lexa. There was no way you could have know.”

“I should have,” Lexa argued, burying her face into Clarke’s neck. “They’re my people. I’m supposed to protect them.”

“Lexa, you do protect them. And yeah things haven’t been great here, but I have a lot to be blamed for here,”

“You don’t-”

“-It doesn’t matter. We’re here now, and we are going to fix this.”

“We really need to stop blaming each ourselves for these things,” Lexa mumbled, wrapping her arms tighter around the woman she loves.

Clarke chuckled, “Yeah we do. We’ll work on it together.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” Clarke replied.

The deal was sealed with a kiss and when they separated, Clarke made her way over to the table with all the information Lexa had on Shallow Valley. Lexa watched and admired as Clarke returned to coming up with some sort of plan, but was soon interrupted when Raven and Octavia burst into the tent.

“A late night call to your tent,” Raven said as she entered with Octavia by her side, not paying attention to anything as she entered. “I’m flattered, really, but Octavia here is already in a serious relationship, and you’re in a relationship with my best friend.”

“Hey!” Octavia exclaimed.

Lexa levelled Raven with a glare and Clarke chuckled from her spot by the table. Both Raven and Octavia’s heads turned towards the sound, forgetting about everything. “Clarke!” They yelled as the ran and surrounded their friend. “You’re okay.”

“Yeah guys, I’m fine,” Clarke reassured. 

“What’s going on? What are we here for?”

Clarke and Lexa both told Raven and Octavia everything they had learned from Zora. “I think I have a plan,” Clarke said when they finished their story. “But it has to happen tonight. Zora’s execution is being set up in the center of Murdock and everyone is supposed to attend. It’ll be the perfect opportunity for her to step in and gain the support of the people with the Commander by her side.”

“But Zora said that General Ric and her cronies still had control.”

“Leave that to The Shadow.”

/////

Clarke was decked out in black, armed to the tee, hidden in the middle of the Shallow Valley army’s camp. The sun was starting to rise, so Clarke didn’t have a lot of time. Lexa, Zora, and some of the Trikru would be here soon, and Clarke needed to make her move before they got here.

Time was running out, but she needed to be patient. General Ric’s three lieutenants were in the same tent, but there were a multitude of guards standing outside of it. She considered starting another fire as a distraction, but she was afraid that two fires in one night would be obvious that they weren’t an accident.

The guards outside the tent looked tired and Clarke was hoping that their exhaustion would lead to a mistake. She waited and watched as one sat down and his eyes slowly closed. Clarke rolled her eyes. The moron fell asleep on the job. Whatever, it made her job easier. There were a few more guards still standing and Clarke couldn’t wait much longer.

She darted down a row of tents and snapped some sticks and made some noises to draw their attention. It worked, drawing two away from the tent, but it still wasn’t enough. She ran across the camp, creating even more of a disturbance and drew away two more guards. When her eyes returned to the tent there was only one guard left.

Clarke shrugged, good enough. She sprinted out of her cover and charged the remaining guard. He didn’t notice her until she was only a step away and by then it was too late.

Clarke pounced on him, a knife in hand, and plunged it into the side of his neck as the two bodies crashed through the tent’s entrance, hidden from outside view.

Clarke looked up from the dead body she was on top of and was met with three sets of wide eyes. They were standing around a table with empty mugs of ale. The entire tent reeked of alcohol and Clarke could tell that her targets were drunk. Perfect.

She moved quickly pulling out a knife and throwing it at the first lieutenant. He fell to the ground without having the chance to put up a fight and before the other two could do anything, Clarke was on them. Because they were drunk their reaction time was slow and their movements were clumsy. 

Clarke dispatched of them quickly without either of them putting up a fight. She was in and out of the tent in two minutes.

With the three lieutenants down, General Ric was the final target. It was almost light out now and Clarke didn’t have a lot of time. She sprinted through the tent to get to the General’s tent. There were a few guards outside, but no one else was around.

There was no time to be methodical, so Clarke just went for it. She dove out of her cover onto the first guard and slashed his throat. She rolled off of him and ran toward the second guard, pulling out two knives and throwing them into the hearts of guard three and four. Once those knives were released from her hand she was on guard two and he didn’t have any time to react before she stabbed in the chest and brought him to the ground.

Guards five and six charged at her, one from her right and one from her left. She held her position until the last second when she rolled out of harm’s way. The two guards collided, forcing the air from their lungs, and the next second, Clarke took them both down. 

Guard number seven’s eyes widened and he held up his hands before turning and booking it away from the tent. Clarke watched as he ran, and normally she would have chased him, but she didn’t have the time.

Instead, she turned and entered the generals tent, where she found him asleep. She walked up to his bed and cut him down without hesitating. This man had put his people through enough pain. 

Clarke stood above his body, panting heavily, as blood dripped from her skin and clothing. Her side had been bothering her the entire time, but she had ignored it, having a job to complete. Now that it was done, she allowed herself a moment to feel the pain. 

As her breathing slowed, a realization hit her. The Shadow had just made a hit, that would now lead to Lexa’s success in Shallow Valley. What if someone decided that it wasn’t a coincidence?

Even if no one did, Nia would definitely make the connection. The Shadow was still a fugitive. If Nia could prove that Lexa knew Clarke was The Shadow and used her to help her win the war, the people would riot against her. Clarke couldn’t let that happen. 

She looked down at her hand that was still wrapped around the hilt of the knife that had just killed General Ric. It would have to do. Clarke bent down and drew the symbol of the Commander in the dirt below her target. Then she stuck the bloody knife into the ground.

Once she was done she moved out of the tent and changed into some clothes she found to watch the rest of her plan unfold. She watched as Trikru warriors entered the city of Murdock. They didn’t attack unless they were approached, but any warrior that tried to take them on was quickly dispatched.

There was a platform that had been set up in the middle of Murdock and many of its citizens had already gathered around it. It was supposed to be the stage for Zora’s execution, but now it had a different purpose.

The Trikru were much better close combat fighters than Shallow Valley were and after a few attacks, many of the Shallow Valley stopped, waiting for orders from their General that would never come.

Clarke made her way into the crowd of Shallow Valley citizens and listened to the whispers as the people recognized the Commander and their Princess stepping up onto the platform.

Lexa’s eyes immediately began searching the crowd, and she barely had to look before her eyes locked on Clarke’s. It was like she already knew where Clarke was going to be. Clarke nodded her head to signal her success and she watched as Lexa returned her nod and then whispered something into Zora’s ear.

“People of Shallow Valley,” Zora began speaking in Trigedasleng. “I am Zora kom Shallow Valley, daughter of Char kom Shallow Valley. My brother Zayn is your King, but he is not a fair one.” Murmurs spread throughout the crowd, some in fear, and some hopeful.

“Beside me is Lexa kom Trikru, Commander of the coalition. We are here to rectify my brother’s mistakes. He has treated you all unfairly for far too long, and we will not stand for it. Neither should you. General Ric along with Lieutenants Usa, Roman, and Rina are dead. There is no one here who can harm you. So I am calling upon my people. I am calling upon the people of the Shallow Valley. Follow me, join me, and we can return to our former glory. I am not my brother, I will not harm you or treat you as less than. Follow me, follow the Commander, and we will have peace once again,” Zora roared with emotion and strength and her people could feel it. They erupted into a chorus of cheers and started to chant Zora and Lexa’s name. 

Shallow Valley was free.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! I know I missed last week and I'm really sorry about that. I just moved into my college dorm room and classes started and life is super busy, but I'm trying. I'm not going to make any promises on how fast I'm going to update from now on, but I'll do my best to make sure it isn't too long. Anyway, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Let me know what you think, I love hearing from you!

Word had travelled quickly that Zora was taking over as Queen of the Shallow Valley. It only took a day or two for the people from nearby villages to make their way to Murdock and see their new Queen for themselves.

Not many people seemed to have a problem with it. A few who were loyal to Zayn fled, and a few chose to speak freely about their distaste towards their new ‘Queen’ but they were largely ignored or put in their place by Zora’s supporters. 

Many of the soldiers in the army seemed to be relieved as well. Many more warriors than Zora had anticipated pledged their loyalty to her, and she was very pleased with the army that was now willingly at her disposal.

Word had also spread after what was found in General Ric’s tent. It was believed that The Shadow was the one to kill Ric and his lieutenants, but that wasn’t what everyone was talking about. No, what the main focus was, was The Shadow had used the knife they had killed with, and pledged themselves to the Commander. The Shadow had picked a side for the war and a leader to follow.

This fact, had a lot of mixed reactions. Some people were relieved to know that they had the land’s best assassin on their side. It made them feel safer, and it made them feel like they had a powerful weapon for the Commander to use against their enemy. Some people were not so happy about The Shadow’s placed loyalty. They didn’t trust the assassin and wanted them punished for their crimes, not serving their Commander. They wanted The Shadow’s head on a spike, not their help.

When the Commander had found out that The Shadow had pledged their loyalty to her, she was not all that thrilled. She had immediately called Clarke to her tent and sent everyone away so the two could be alone. “What were you thinking?” Lexa had asked the instant the two were alone.

Clarke knew what Lexa was talking about, and she figured that Lexa would not be all that pleased with what she had done, but she felt she needed to do it. “I know we didn’t discuss it, but I had to do it. I killed the four people that you and Zora needed dead in order to take control of Shallow Valley. Literally minutes after their deaths, you guys waltzed in here and took over. Do you think no one would be able to put together that that wasn’t a coincidence? People would start to believe that you were working with The Shadow, a still wanted assassin, behind their backs. They would never trust you if rumors like that spread. And even if no one found it suspicious, when word travels to Nia, and trust me, it will, she would put something together. She would accuse you of working with me and turn the clans against you. I had to pledge my loyalty to you publicly so the people could trust you. You still have control of this, all you have to do is talk to your people about it.”

“I know how to control my people, that’s not what I’m worried about Clarke. Do you understand what pledging your loyalty to me and the coalition means? People are going to expect things from you. They are going to expect your help, they will expect to see you fight, they will expect to see you out in the open. And they will expect me to control you, use you, some will even expect me to punish and kill you. And not only that, they will expect to see both Wanheda and The Shadow both.”

“Look Lexa, I had to do something. You have The Shadow’s loyalty. Use me. I will fight alongside you and your army. As for seeing The Shadow, I doubt that will happen. I chose a side in this war, but I didn’t say I would make a public appearance. All you have to do is say that you have never met The Shadow before. Say that you don’t know them, have never worked with them, but you believe you have a way to communicate with them. Tell them that my services are needed for this war, and that my punishment will be considered later. We can figure the rest out after that.”

“Clarke this makes you vulnerable. It puts you in danger. I can’t lose you,” Lexa stressed.

“And I can’t lose you!” Clarke fired back. “Look, it’s done Lex. I’m not going to apologize for protecting your title, for protecting you. You can still control the situation and I know you will because you are that fantastic of a leader.”

Lexa had softened after that. Clarke’s declaration of loyalty wasn’t the end of the world either. It did make the blonde more vulnerable than she would like but there was nothing she could do about it now.

After their talk, Lexa had given a speech to her people about The Shadow. She told them that she had a way to contact The Shadow, but the assassin was not going to come out into the public. They would follow Heda’s orders and help the coalition and help end Nia’s reign. 

Lexa made it clear that she had no intention of harming the assassin at this time and while some were upset with that decision, no one fought with her on it. After that her and Clarke had returned to their tent to get some rest.

Four days after regaining Shallow Valley, Lexa and Clarke were discussing their next move. “It’s time to march north,” Lexa said. “We’ll move closer to Azgeda territory and we will have options to try and gain support back from either Rock Line or Sankru.”

“That sounds good. Do you think Shallow Valley is stable enough for us to leave. King Zayn is still alive, what happens if her returns?”

“Zora will be able to handle it. I don’t think King Zayn will pose much of a problem. His people have already turned on them and besides, he’s probably going to be dead soon. Once Nia finds out that he is no longer King, she’ll have no use for him. She’ll kill him.”

Clarke cringed as she thought of all the different ways Nia could kill Zayn. Lexa was right, as soon as Nia got word, he’d be dead, and she would definitely want to use him to intimidate others. His death wouldn’t be pretty. “You’re right. Well it sounds like we have a plan.”

“That we do,” Lexa said. She made her way to the exit of her tent and ordered her guards to send Indra to her. A few moments later the Trikru general entered the tent. “Heda.”

“Indra, ready the army. Tomorrow we march north,” Lexa ordered.

“Sha Heda,” Indra said, bowing her head, and then she left the tent to prepare the army for their departure.

//////

The next morning Clarke and Lexa awoke in bed together. They spent a few moments just lying in each others arms before they got up and dressed. They ate together and then left their tent to find the rest of the camp almost completely packed.

A few guards hurried to Lexa’s tent and began to dismantle it while Clarke and Lexa made their way through camp to check on everything. Not long after that, the camp was packed and ready to move.

Lexa mounted her white stallion and beside her, Clarke mounted her midnight black one. The horses alone looked powerful and intimidating, add the Commander and Wanheda to the picture and it was the ultimate showing of power.

The two sat proudly atop their horses at the front of the army and were just about to make the order to march when another horse approached them. 

Clarke smiled as Zora approached atop her brown and white stallion. The two had spent a lot of time together while in Shallow Valley and they had grown to become quite close. She was confident and sarcastic and had a dark past that both Clarke and Lexa could relate to in some ways.

“Ready to go?” Zora asked as she pulled her horse to halt before the two.

“You want to come with us?” Lexa questioned, mildly surprised. It wasn’t totally unexpected that Zora would want to join them, but Lexa figured she would want to stay in Shallow Valley since she was so new to becoming the Queen.

“If you’ll have us,” Zora said extending her arm to where Shallow Valley scouts and warriors were armed and ready to march. “My brother is still out there, and I know he may not be for long, but as of right now he is and that makes him a threat to my people. Also, Queen Nia poses a threat to the coalition, to you, and therefore to me and my people. I am not my brother. I will fight for the safety and freedom of my people. Plus you helped me. I think it’s only fair that I return the favor. My scouts are at your disposal and my army will follow your orders without question, as will I.”

Clarke smiled and raised an eyebrow at Lexa. It was the Commander's decision to make, but Clarke knew Lexa wouldn’t say no. 

There was the faintest hint of a smile on Lexa’s lips as she looked at the Shallow Valley’s Queen, “Alright then. Let’s march.”

With the call to move forward, Lexa, Clarke, and Zora led the army out of Shallow Valley territory and up north. 

The journey north took many days. They were moving much slower than Lexa would have liked, but moving with such a large army took time. Lexa had been receiving reports on Nia and her supporting clan’s movement. So far, none had made a major move, a few strikes here and there, but nothing too major. 

Clarke and Lexa had spent most of the journey beside each other. They were enjoying the view and the calm before the storm, and also discussing their plans for the future. Which clan should they go to first, which leader was weaker, who would provide a greater advantage for the coalition, and so on. 

As the army marched north, it grew bigger. Warriors from many Trikru villages and some from other clans had heard rumors of the Commander heading north and they were quick to prepare and join the army in its march. It slowed the army down even more, but Lexa was happy to have the additional warriors.

Lexa had also taken full advantage of the Shallow Valley scouts and sent some of them ahead to gather some much needed intel on her enemies.

After days of marching, the army was finally approaching the most northern part of Trikru territory. Lexa and Clarke were at the head of the army, leading the way. Zora and Indra and some o the Commander’s guards rode behind them, and Raven, Octavia, Bellamy, and some other generals rode behind them. They were moving at a pretty good pace, almost reaching their destination.

It was the smell that hit them first. Smoke, fire. Lexa and Clarke pulled their horses to a halt and the army stopped behind them. Lexa flicked her wrist forward and three scouts disappeared into the trees to move forward.

Lexa and Clarke urged their horses forward slowly, keeping an eye on their surroundings. As they moved forward, the smell of burning wood morphed into the putrid smell of burning flesh. Clarke had to close her eyes and take some deep breaths to keep her dark memories from resurfacing.

They continued to ride forward, the entire army was tense and on alert, each ready for a possible attack. Lexa had her hand resting on the hilt of her sword and Clarke had three throwing knives out and ready to fly at any second. 

As they got closer to the smell the metallic smell of what was obviously blood reached their noses and Lexa and Clarke both knew that they were not going to like what they saw.

As they continued their march forward, the trees gave way to the remains of what was once a well populated Trikru village. The once green grass was now either red with blood or fried from the heat of the fires that had so obviously consumed the villages.

Some of the fires that had been started still hadn’t been put out and Lexa saw her scouts moving quickly to put them out. Huts and buildings were now turned to ruin and what was once a village was now a giant pile of ash.

The most gruesome of all was the bodies. They were everywhere. Bodies were burned, stabbed, slit in the throat, and any other injuries that could be imagined. They had all been moved into piles and left to rot or be feasts for the animals. None were spared. Women, children, elders, warriors, blacksmiths, farmers. Everyone was dead.

Lexa and Clarke quickly dismounted and choked back their own bile as they approached the bodies. Clarke knelt down beside the body of a boy who couldn’t have been more than twelve and picked up a bloody knife. She examined the blade and immediately knew who was behind this, although she already knew beforehand. 

She looked up into the eyes of the Commander and a not a word was needed to be said. “Azgeda,” Lexa spat. Lexa’s eyes were a flurry of emotion. The obvious was anger. Lexa was furious. She was furious that this had happened to her people, furious that their bodies had been left out and disrespected. The less obvious was pain. Lexa had her Commander mask on to keep her vulnerability hidden, but Clarke knew how to read it and she knew that Lexa was in all kinds of pain.

“They’ll pay for this Lexa,” Clarke said and reached out to place a comforting hand on the brunettes shoulder. Lexa closed her eyes and leaned back into the touch, drawing strength from it. “You’re people need you to be strong right now,” Clarke said as she looked back to the army that was still walking into the clearing.

The looks of disgust on their faces were all clear and many of them showed very similar emotions to the Commander. Some were less controlled when it came to their rage, and some were more open about expressing their heartbreak, but all were feeling it.

Lexa rose to her feet and returned to her horse, pulling herself up onto it, sitting tall and proud before her army. She raised a hand to silence the crowd as she looked out at her people. “What happened here will not stand,” Lexa yelled. “Azgeda will pay for their treachery and our coalition will stand tall. Tonight we mourn and we send our people’s spirit to the next life. Tomorrow,” Lexa’s eyes flashed dangerously, “Kom war!”

A chorus of “Heda! Heda!” was being chanted by the entire army and Lexa dismissed them to prepare the funeral pyres.

/////

It took hours, but the pyres were finally built and the bodies stacked onto them. Lexa gave her people an uplifting speech before lighting them and sending of the bodies’ spirits off to the next life.

Clarke and Lexa stood side by side all night until the last of the fires burned out. They were the last two to stay out as it was so late at night, and it took a little while for Clarke to be able to pull Lexa away from the pyres and into their tent.

Lexa’s eyes were unfocused and her whole body seemed heavier than normal. Clarke was feeling similarly, but Lexa needed her right now, so she was going to be strong for her.

Clarke took off all of her clothes and then moved to Lexa and slowly peeled off every layer of hers. The brunette didn’t put up a fight, she barely moved the entire time. When they were both naked, Clarke crawled into the bed and sat up against the headboard opening her arms. Lexa collapsed onto the bed and fell into Clarke’s warm embrace. The blonde wrapped her arms tightly around her lovers and rocked them back and forth. Lexa burried her face in Clarke’s neck and Clarke could feel the warm sensation of Lexa’s tears dripping onto her skin.

The blonde said nothing. She knew Lexa didn’t like to talk about these types of things and there wasn’t really much Clarke could stay anyway. Instead she just held onto the hurting woman in her arms and rocked them until they both fell asleep.

The next morning, the two woman awoke early. Lexa seemed to have a new determination and Clarke was feeding off of it. The two sat around a table, lightly snacking on some breakfast as they discussed their next move.

Lexa was reading a report that had been delivered late last night with a frown. “Nia and her allies attacked the Glowing Forest. They’re killing everyone. I sent word to them that everyone is to flee to Polis,” she sighed. “We don’t have time to go after Rock Line or Sankru anymore. This needs to end, now. We need to go to Azgeda. We need to go to Queen Nia.”

“I agree, but she’ll be in Saipan. It’s much farther north, which means we’ll pass a lot of Azgeda villages. They won’t let us pass without a fight,” Clarke commented.

“Then it’s a fight they’ll get.”

/////

The army marched north into Azgeda territory after that. They entered villages and overtook them. Lexa gave orders to spare the citizens, and her army listened. Any who fought against the coalition’s army were killed where they stood while the innocents, the citizens were spared.

They overtook two villages that day and the next day they moved forward and retook two more. The Shadow appeared in a few of the villages. She made her appearances and showed up just like she was expected to. She fought beside the coalition and kept a very low and hidden profile, but the army knew she was with them. Wanheda also fought in these battles and no one was putting together any sort of connection.

After retaking those four villages Lexa and her army moved forward. They weren’t hesitating, and they sure as hell weren’t slowing down. Nia was going to pay for what she did to that Trikru village. For what she wanted to do.

Lexa and Clarke were crouched in the treeline outside Balor. It was the next village along their path to Saipan, but it was also one of the larger ones. Their army was ready at their backs and their plan was in place.

Raven walked up to the two of them and bent down beside them. “Here,” she reached out and handed them each a round metal contraption, “It’s the grenade. Pull the pin and throw it. It’ll explode a few seconds after you pull the pin so don’t hold on to it for too long.”

“Got it,” Clarke said and Lexa nodded. “Thanks Raven.”

“No problem. Stay safe you guys.”

“Yeah, you too.” Clarke replied. She watched as Raven walked to the back of the army. Her tech was being used, so she was needed with the army, but she stayed behind in the trees since she couldn’t fight with her bad leg.

“You ready for this?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Lexa responded and the two signaled their warriors to ready themselves as they moved closer to the village. When they were in place, they pulled the pins and threw the grenades. One into the warriors training pit and one into the warriors barracks. 

Just as Raven said, the grenades went off and after that everything descended into the chaos. Lexa’s army poured out of the treeline and raided the village and the Azgeda warriors ran out to meet them.

Clarke charged at a warrior on her left and Lexa went for one on her right. With a quick dodge and then a strike, the two quickly took out their opponents before moving on to the next ones.

Bellamy, Miller, and other Skaikru were firing their guns at their enemies as Octavia Lincoln and the Trikru attacked in close range. They picked off warriors one by one and the number of Azgeda soldiers was slowly decreasing.

The Trikru army was taking loses too though. Because this was a bigger village, theri were more warriors here and they were more skilled than others. They were putting up a strong fight and the coalition army was losing warriors.

/////

Raven watched as her grenades did the trick. She smiled at the big ball of fire that reached up into the sky and watched as the Trikru army ran out of the trees and into the fight.

All she could do was watch as her friends fought and watch as some Trikru warriors were cut down. It was nerve wracking knowing that her friends were out there in danger, but she had to rely on their strength and rely on the others to help keep them safe.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the cracking of a nearby tree branch, but before she could do anything, she felt something collide with the back of her head and everything went black.

The next time Raven opened her eyes she was leaning up against a tree. Her ears were ringing and her vision was blurry, but she could make out two figures in front of her. One a man and one a woman. She could tell they were talking, but couldn’t tell what it was about.

The next thing she noticed was that he hands and legs were bound. She couldn’t escape, and she didn’t even currently know what she needed to escape from. Raven Reyes, however, never gave up without a fight.

She watched as the man disappeared into the trees and the woman approached her. She had scars on her face and the blue furs she was wearing marked her as Azgeda. Raven knew she needed to get away, or she would be in a world of trouble. “You know,” Raven croaked, hoping to draw the woman closer to her. “If you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was ask.”

The Azgeda woman narrowed her eyes and took a step towards Raven. She didn’t say a word but she pulled Raven up to her feet. Her eyes trailed over the mechanic and stopped on her brace for a moment.

Raven took that as her moment and used her bound hands to strike the woman in the face. She stumbled backwards and Raven took off in the opposite direction, but she didn’t know where she was going and her leg slowed her down too much.

The Azgeda warrior growled as she stumbled back and then took off after Raven. It wasn’t hard to catch up to the fleeing woman and she tackled her before punching her in the face. She didn’t stop until Raven was unconscious.

/////

Clarke rolled to her right and cut into the back of the knee of one of her attackers and then she lunged forward and stabbed her blade into the second.

Her body was already covered in sweat and blood and the bodies in her wake were amounting to a pretty large number. Her and Lexa had been separated during the fight, but Clarke knew she would be fine on her own.

She rolled out of the way of her next opponent and took him down easily by slitting his throat from behind him.

When he was down, Clarke stood up straight and glanced around the battlefield. She caught site of Lexa from across the way and lost her focus for a split second. “Clarke!” She heard her name called and she was barely able to turn around in time to block an attack from behind. She hissed as a blade cut into her arm, but it was better than her own death.

Zora watched as Clarke barely moved out of the way of a fatal blow, but she saw the sword cut into her arm. She reached to her side and grabbed a knife, throwing it as hard as she could and she watched as it embedded itself in Clarke’s attackers chest.

She ran up beside the blonde and retrieved her knife. “Thanks,” Clarke said to her.

“I know your houmon is attractive, but pay better attention,” Zora joked and Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Whatever,” the blonde said. She turned to race back into the battle, which was coming to an end with most of the Azgeda warriors taken care of. “Let’s go-” 

She froze.

She caught sight of a woman carrying a body a familiar red jacket came into view. That was Raven’s jacket and she would never take it off. Clarke felt her heart drop. “No,” she whispered.

Without thinking, she took off in the direction she last saw that person carry away an unconscious Raven.

Zora raced after Clarke and grabbed onto her arm when she was close enough. “Clarke stop!” she said, turning the blonde around to face her.

Clarke’s face was abnormally pale and Zora could see the look of rage in her blue eyes. “Find Lexa. Tell her they took Raven and I’m going after her,” Clarke said as she started to move again in the last direction she saw Raven. “Go,” Clarke yelled before fully taking off towards the trees.

Zora sighed, but did as the blonde requested, quickly turning on her heel and running to find Lexa.

Clarke burst through the treeline and into the woods. She had been slowed down by a few Azgeda warriors as she ran through Balor and now she needed to find a trail.

She found a few footprints on the ground and she took off after them. Raven had been taken and she had a good idea of who had taken her. Ontari. She had already warned Clarke of this and the woman she saw running into the trees very well could have been Ontari. Clarke couldn’t let her take Raven to Nia, she just couldn’t.

She followed the trail she found until she came up to a few scuff marks and then the footprints changed. They were awkward and uneven. Raven must have tried to escape. Clarke followed the trail and she felt her heart sink in her chest. Blood.

She found another trail and didn;t hesitate to move forward, but the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she stopped. Someone was watching her. She stopped and looked straight ahead in the direction that Raven’s trail led and a familiar figure appeared from the trees. “Roan,” Clarke said.

“Clarke,” he replied. “Turn around. Go back,” he said.

Clarke shook her head. “You know I can’t do that.” She wasn’t going to leave Raven behind.

“I don’t want to hurt you Clarke,” Roan said.

“Then don’t,” Clarke said. “Please, Roan, let me go,” she pleaded. “You know what Nia will do to her. Please, let me save her.”

Roan didn’t meet her eyes. “I’m sorry Clarke, but I can’t do that. I have my family to think about.”

Clarke nodded. She understood. Nia didn’t have her under her thumb anymore, but she still had Roan. Roan had to protect his family and she wouldn’t blame him for that, but she had to protect hers too. She reached to her side and pulled out her sword.

“You’ve never beaten me before Clarke. Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, removing his own sword from its sheath.

“I can’t let Nia torture her. I have to try,” and with that she charged at the Ice Prince.

He met her attack and blocked it before lashing out himself. Clarke rolled to the side and dodged it before popping up to her feet.

The two shared blows, neither one of them taking the advantage until Roan’s blade cut across Clarke’s thigh. She stumbled backwards, but managed to block his next strike.

They exchanged a few more blows, each connecting with an attack here or there, but none to major to hinder the other.

Roan feinted left and struck right, connecting a fist with Clarke’s jaw. She stumbled back and her foot caught on an uneven patch of ground. She barely managed to keep herself upright, but it was too late.

Roan was on her in a second and the next thing Clarke knew everything went black.

/////

Clarke groaned as she opened her eyes.

“Clarke? Clarke?” She heard her name whispered by someone, but it wasn’t Lexa like it usually was when she woke up. It sounded like Raven. And then Clarke remembered. She opened her eyes and took in her surroundings.

She was on her feet. Her arms above her, held up in shackles. Raven was across the room from her in the same position that she was in. “Raven are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, “Where are we?”

Clarke sighed, recognizing the room. “We’re in hell.” 

Before Raven could respond, the door to the room they were in opened.

Clarke stood tall and tried to look as calm and confident as she could as the woman she hated more than anyone entered the room. Queen Nia stood with a smile on her face.

“Clarke,” she greeted. “Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last note, someone asked me if I take requests for other fanfics. I personally haven't thought of much beyond this fic and I wanted to hear what you guys have to say. Would you be interested in that? Life is pretty busy so I definitely will not be able to keep a perfect schedule. If you guys are alright with slow updates and are interested let me know and I'll consider it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Wow, I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. School and life are really kicking my ass right now and I'm trying to put the last pieces of this story together to make sure I do it justice. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again, so please, bear with me. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing all of your opinions and it really helps me move forward. Enjoy!
> 
> TW: Torture

The battle was down to its very end. The Azgeda warriors in Balor were either dead, retreating, or about to be dead. Lexa dispatched of her final opponent and watched as a few of her warriors chased down fleeing Azgeda, a few were putting out fires, and the rest were tending to the injured.

It was clear that Balor was now under the control of the Commander and the coalition and the large army following Lexa all began to cheer and chant out at their victory. Lexa felt a surge of pride at her warriors and what they were able to accomplish so far, until she heard a voice calling out for her.

“Heda! Heda!” Zora sprinted towards Lexa and stopped when she reached her. She was panting heavily with sweat dripping down her face and blood from an open flesh wound Lexa could see above her eyebrow and on her shoulder.

“Zora, you should get your wounds tended to,” Lexa said, concerned for her relatively newfound friend.

“No time Heda,” Zora breathed. She was tired and out of breath so her speech was a little choppy. “Clarke… went into the woods… followed some Azgeda… had Raven… needs help.”

Lexa’s eyes widened as she put together what Zora was saying and for a split second she froze. “What?” She heard the question come from behind her where Octavia, Bellamy, and Lincoln had approached while Zora was speaking.

“Where?” Was all Lexa asked.

“This way,” Zora said and she took off in the direction she last saw Clarke disappear with Lexa, Octavia, Bellamy, and Lincoln behind her.

The ran out into the trees and quickly found a trail to follow that led deeper into the woods. It didn’t take long for them to find the same scuff marks and uneven footprints that Clarke had found and then the bloodstain that belonged to Raven. “Fuck,” Octavia whispered as she bent down beside the stain. “Please tell me this belongs to whoever the hell took Raven.”

“Over here,” Lincoln yelled and the group all moved over to the tracks Lincoln had found. There were two different sized footprints and obvious marks of a fight with a few drops of blood scattered around.

“This isn’t good,” Bellamy said as he took in the scene.

Lexa had said nothing as she followed the tracks, her eyes searching desperately for any sign of the woman she so deeply loved and a glint of metal caught her eye. She moved over to it and her heart sank. “Clarke,” she whispered as she picked up the watch that had belonged to Clarkes father.

Right beside the watch were two marks that Lexa knew well. An unconscious body had been dragged and the heels left marks in the ground. She followed them until they came to an end and a set of hoofprints marked Clarke’s captors escape.

Lexa felt a presence from behind her and watched as Zora approached and concluded the same thing. “Damn, they took her.”

Lexa returned to her feet and walked away from the tracks with a purpose, “Heda, where are you going?” Lexa ignored her. “Heda? She ignored her again. “Lexa stop,” Zora said, grabbing the Commander’s arm.

Lexa spun around angrily, a furious glint in her eye, but Zora didn’t back down. “Lexa I know you want to go after her but you can’t.”

“I can do what I want,” Lexa grit back.

“I want to save her too,” Zora said. “But we can’t do anything right now. This is what Nia wants you to do. She wants you to race off on your own, but you can’t. The army isn’t ready to move, not yet. We still pass a few more villages that will try to stop us on our way to Saipan, and you can’t just storm into Azgeda’s capitol on your own. We need to rest, gather supplies, make a plan, and then go and get her back.”

“I have to go after her,” Lexa yelled, her pain and fear evident in her voice.

“Not like this,” Zora said softly.

Lexa’s shoulders deflated. “You know what Nia will do to her. I can’t lose her Zora. I don’t know if I’ll survive it.”

“You won’t lose her,” Zora said with as much strength as she could muster. “The Queen won’t kill Clarke, not yet, not in private. You know that. She’s waiting for you to make a rash decision so killing you will be easy. You can’t allow that. You have to stay level headed no matter how hard it may be. Besides, if anyone can survive Nia, it’s Clarke.”

“As much as I hate to admit it,” Bellamy said, coming out into the clearing Lexa and Zora were in with Lincoln and Octavia, “She’s right. Clarke’s a survivor, and so is Raven.”

“So if we’re not going after them, what do we do now?” Octavia asked.

All eyes turned to Lexa. It was her call, she was the Commander, and that was exactly who she needed to be in this moment. “We wait. We give our troops time to recover and continue moving on towards Saipan. I will send a few scouts ahead to try and find where they are keeping Clarke and Raven. We move quickly, but we do not rush. We get to Saipan and I will kill Queen Nia and end her rule once and for all. Clarke and Raven are strong, they just need to hold on until we can get to them.” The group all nodded, accepting Lexa’s plan and they started their return back to Balor. 

Lexa put on her Commander mask and made her way back to Balor. She had a job to do, and there was no way in hell she was going to fail. “Stay strong Clarke. I’m coming.” 

/////

“I’m going to kill you,” Clarke yelled and pulled at her chains as she watched another fist collide with Raven’s jaw. They were still both shackled to the wall with their arms above their heads and Clarke could already feel the ache in her shoulders beginning to sink in. They had been in this position for a while and Clarke was being forced to watch as Raven was beaten.

Nia and Severna were the only others in the room and Severna was the one standing before Raven with blood already painting the skin of her fist. “You were warned Clarke. Disobey me and I will kill everyone you love slowly and painfully and right before your eyes,” Nia said sadistically. She turned to Raven who was panting heavily, a steady stream of blood trickling down her nose and from her mouth. “I can make this easy for you,” she offered. “Tell me everything you know about the Commander and her army and I can make your death quick and painless.”

“Go to...Hell,” the angry latina grit out and then another fist sent her head jerking to the left. She slowly turned her head back to its original position and locked eyes with Nia. She spit a mouthful of blood at the Queen and watched as it splattered across her upper chest and the lower half of her face. “I can… go all night.”

The Queen wiped the blood from her face and stormed up to Raven grabbing her throat and pushing her up against the wall. “You will pay for that. I will make sure by the time we’re through you are begging for your death, but I won’t grant it to you. I will watch you suffer and leave you to die slowly and in more pain than you could possibly imagine,” Nia snarled and then she let of Raven’s throat.

Raven gasped for air as her airway was no longer restricted and before she could recover a flurry of fists reigned down on her defenseless body. When they finally stopped Queen Nia spoke again, “I will get the answers I seek Raven, no matter what I have to do to you to get them.”

“I won’t… tell you.. anything,” Raven panted. “Might as well… kill me now.”

Nia smirked, “Oh but where would the fun in that be?” She slowly turned to Clarke who been trying to break free from her shackles ever since Nia and Severna started to torture Raven. She couldn’t sit by and watch as they tortured one of her best friends, but as of right now there was nothing she could do to stop it. 

Nia’s smirk grew as she saw the anger, frustration, and pain on the blonde’s face. “Let’s continue,” Nia drawled, not breaking eye contact form Clarke.

Severna smiled wickedly at the order and moved over to the single table in the room. It was covered in all her favorite toys and she couldn’t wait to use them. Her fingers grazed over the cold metal of each blade until she made her choice. The blade was jagged and deadly and it curved. It was designed for torture, to inflict as much pain as possible without digging too deep into the flesh and causing too much damage.

Clarke saw the blade Severna had chosen and she could feel her heart rate spike. That blade had met her flesh many times and it hurt like a bitch. She started yelling and Severna, taunting her, trying to draw her attention away from Raven, but it only made things worse.

Severna stalked up to the dark haired girl and without hesitation, ran the blade down from her elbow midway to her tricep. Raven cried out in pain, unable to muffle the sounds as the blade tore open her flesh.

The sounds of her friends agony spurred Clarke on, her threats getting louder, her body thrashing in an attempt to somehow break free of her chains. 

Nia laughed at Clarke’s attempt to escape and ordered Severna to continue. The cruel woman did with a sick smile on her face. Every once in a while, Nia would stop to give Raven the chance to talk, but the latina never gave in.

Every time Raven refused, Severna would make her pay. A deeper cut, a longer one, one placed in a much more sensitive area, each one causing the girl to cry out a little louder.

Clarke did all she could to try and break free, the skin on her wrists tearing and bleeding as she tried to pull herself free from her metal constraints.

Raven was panting her body weak and hanging limp, held up only by the chains on her wrists. Her vision was spotty and her entire body felt as if it was on fire. 

“You can end this Raven. I’m being nice, giving you a chance to end your suffering. Tell me what I want to know and all of this can end,” Nia offered.

Raven groaned and mustered her strength to roll her eyes, “When will you… get it. I’m not giving you… what you want… you evil… bitch.”

Nia’s brows furrowed at the insult which also seemed to really piss off Severna. She lashed out quickly with her fist, connecting hard with Raven’s chin, knocking her out.

“Oh well,” Nia sighed. “I suppose we’ll have our fun with her later.” She turned to face Clarke, “Now it’s your turn.”

Severna walked up to Clarke, her bloody knife still in hand, and she didn’t hesitate to the same thing to Clarke.

Clarke grit her teeth as the blade sliced into her. It hurt just as badly as she so vividly remembered, but she wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of hearing her scream. This only seemed to make them angrier, causing them to push deeper and harder.

After a series of slices, Severna walked over to her table to pick her next tool, but was interrupted as the door to their room opened. In walked Ontari who took in the conditions of a still unconscious Raven and a very bloody Clarke. She smiled at the blonde and sent her a wink before stopping before her Queen and bowing her head. “My Queen.”

Nia raised an eyebrow, “Well… Spit it out.”

“The Commander has successfully moved on from Spire. Her and her army have taken control of Dreshal. They’re moving closer to Saipan,” Ontari informed.

Nia narrowed her eyes and had to suppress a growl. Her eyes looked up to Severna, and she sighed. She turned to Clarke, “We’ll continue this later. I still need your skills,” and then the three women were gone.

Clarke sighed and her body sagged in relief. She was in a lot of pain, but at least she was used to it. Raven on the other hand, she knew how it felt to be tortured for the first time, and she felt awful for putting her friend in this position.

A few moments later she heard a groan. “Raven,” Clarke called desperately. “Raven wake up.”

Raven’s eyes slowly blinked open and she took in a bruised and bloody Clarke. The blonde looked about as awful as she felt. She groaned, “Fuck, that shit hurt.”

Clarke puffed out a weak laugh, “Yeah. Yeah it does.” Her laugh quickly died down, her body in too much pain, and she sighed. “I’m so sorry Raven.”

Raven shook her head, “No, don’t do that. You and I both know this isn’t your fault.”

“They’re doing this to punish me,” Clarke said eyes downcast.

“Yeah, and that is not your fault. They’re evil sadistic assholes and that is not on you,” Raven clarified as strongly as she could, which wasn’t much, but it worked. 

“I’m going to figure this out Raven. I’m going to get you out of here, no matter what I have to do,” Clarke said with certainty.

“Hey, not just me. You’re getting out of here too,” Raven said sternly. She didn’t like what she was hearing. It sounded like Clarke was prepared for her own death. “Besides, I’m sure your girlfriend will be here soon. Probably rode away from the army and is prepared to storm this place on her own just to find you,” Raven tried to lighten the mood.

Clarke shook her head, “No, she wouldn’t do something like that. She’s a leader first, and she has to be there to lead her army.” She sighed, “God, this must be so hard for her. She already lost someone to Nia once.”

“What do you mean?” Raven questioned.

“Her name was Costia. Lexa loved her, and Nia killed her in hopes that Lexa would break down. It didn’t work,” Clarke explained.

“Well that is not happening to you. Do you hear me?”

“Raven… I got away from Nia once. I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do it again,” Clarke said with resignation.

“No. No, that is not happening. You have made it this far, and we just got you back. We are not losing you again.”

Clarke didn’t answer, and Raven knew she needed to get her message through to Clarke in another way. “You really love her don’t you?”

Clarke looked up from the bloodstained floor to meet Raven’s eyes. “More than I ever thought I could,” Clarke answered.

“She’s always cared about you too. I never noticed it, because I was so angry at her for abandoning us on the mountain. She never stopped looking for you, she never gave up on you, even your own people did, but she didn’t. She loves you Clarke, and I’m sure that she loved this Costia girl, but the way she loves you.... If she loses you, she might not be able to stop herself from breaking. So you need to fight and you need to survive not only for your people, not only for me, but for Lexa and yourself too.”

Clarke opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the door opening. In walked Nia and Severna, both smirking at the two beaten down girls, and another girl that Clarke didn’t recognize. She kept her head down and moved to the corner of the room without saying a word. “Let us continue, shall we?” Nia said, drawing Clarke’s attention, as she closed the door behind her.

Severna walked back over to her table and considered her options while Nia walked up to Clarke. “I need you to do something for me,” Nia said calmly.

Clarke almost laughed, “Yeah and what would that be?”

“I need The Shadow to finish another job for me.”

Clarke scoffed. Her eyes flickered momentarily to Severna who had picked out a muck larger knife than before. She knew it would be painful, but she couldn’t say yes to Nia’s request. Her eyes returned to the Queen and Clarke stood as tall and looked as defiant as she could, “I will never serve you again.”

“No? I think you’ll change your mind shortly,” Nia said all too happily.

“Try me,” Clarke said. She watched as Severna adjusted her grip on her chosen weapon and walked away from the table. A cold feeling of dread set in when Clarke realized she was walking over towards Raven instead of her. Her eyes widened and she thrashed against her chains, “No!”

“Stay strong Clarke,” Raven yelled. “Don’t give her what she wants,” she said before she felt the sting of a slap against her cheek. She turned back to look into the cold eyes of her torturer and watched as she brought the blade towards her flesh.

Raven bit her tongue to keep from screaming. She was successful at first, but eventually, the room walls were echoing with her screams.

Clarke was screaming as well and pushing and pulling as hard as she could against her restraints. Raven was constantly telling Clarke not to give in to Nia’s request, but Clarke couldn’t handle much more of Raven’s screaming. 

“All you have to do is listen to me Clarke, and this will stop,” Nia said after Raven’s last scream quieted.

Clarke had tears streaming down her cheeks, “I can’t,” she whispered, but it was more to herself than Nia.

Nia smirked. She had Clarke just where she wanted her. She looked at Severna and nodded. The torturer stopped and approached her table again, picking a decent sized dagger.

Raven’s body was hanging limp. She was barely able to keep her eyes open at this point. “Last chance Clarke,” Nia said as Severna approached Raven’s left side.

“Don’t… do it… Clarke,” Raven rasped weakly.

Nia raised a brow at Clarke waiting for her response, but the blonde didn’t give her one. Then Nia’s attention turned to the other girl in the room, who Clarke had forgotten was there. “Clarke, this is a healer,” Nia started. “She will be your friends only chance.”

With that Severna plunged her dagger into Raven’s thigh and pulled it out quickly. Clarke’s eyes widened and she watched as Raven quickly passed out from blood loss.

Blood was pouring from Raven’s thigh quickly and Clarke knew that the dagger must have nicked the artery. If she didn’t agree to Nia’s demands, Raven was going to die. “Okay! I’ll do it,” Clarke yelled desperately, still thrashing against her chains. “Whatever you want I’ll do it. Just please, save her,” Clarke begged.

Nia smiled, pleased at her work and nodded to the healer to get to work on Raven. She had Severna unchain Clarke’s wrists and watched as the blonde collapsed onto her knees, sobbing.

She tossed a pair of black clothing at the blonde, “Get dressed. We have a lot of work to do.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm so so sorry I took this long to post. Life is crazy and my mind has been struggling with creating the perfect ending for this story. I really want it to be worth it. I hope you guys like what I've come up with. Please let me know what you think down in the comments, it really means a lot to me. Enjoy!

_Nia was seated in her throne at the head of her war table. The leaders of the clans still sided with her were all there arguing over what the next best course of action would be against the Commander and her army. They had just taken over Dreshal and there were only a few small villages left between them and Saipan. They would be here soon._

_Nia listened as the leaders threw out their own ideas. None of them were good enough. There wasn’t much left that could be done. The Commander was closing in and there was nowhere to retreat, not that Nia would ever do that anyway._

_She was irritated. The people allied with her were all idiots and Lexa was more powerful and moving quicker towards Saipan than she had expected. She didn’t have a lot of options left to take down the Commander._

_Nia was prepared to silence the arguing when the doors to her throne room burst open and King Zayn came striding in with a man bound and bleeding from a head wound. She watched as Zayn walked in with his head held high. She rolled her eyes at his ignorance and arrogance._

_She knew that Zayn no longer had control of his people, but Zayn didn’t. The scouts with him were his most loyal and they still followed and served him and his scouts are the only reason why Nia has allowed him to live. Zayn didn’t care about his people and since Nia hadn’t given him any orders, he hasn't sent any messages to his people back in Shallow Valley. Because of this he hasn’t checked up on them and he remains very unaware of the fact that he has no power._

_Zayn walked in with a smile on his face. His scouts had captured some Trikru scout that had been captured outside of Saipan. Zayn was happy to bring the Queen his prisoner and get in her good graces._

_He kicked his prisoner in the back of the knee and he collapsed to a kneeling position. Zayn bowed to Nia, “My Queen,” he started. “Apologies for being late to this meeting, but I have captured one of the Commander’s scouts that was spying from just outside of Saipan.”_

_Nia smirked as she looked down at the prisoner. He wasn’t Trikru and Nia was about to have a field day with this moron of a King. She stood from her throne and slowly walked towards the prisoner, circling him once before stopping directly in front of the King. “Tell me King Zayn, what clan is this man from?”_

_"Trikru my Queen,” he replied maintaining eye contact, as best he could, with the Queen._

_"No, I’m afraid he’s not. Look closer.”_

_Zayn tore his eyes away from Nia to look at the prisoner still on his knees. He took in the coloring of the furs the man wore and recognized the design of a necklace the man had hanging around his neck. His eyes widened as he recognized what clan this man was from._

_Nia watched as realization and fear dawned on the King’s face and she smirked. “That’s right, this man is from the Shallow Valley. The clan that is now ruled by Queen Zora.”_

_Zayn’s head snapped towards Nia at the information with wide eyes. Nia stalked closer to him, “You’re a failure of a King, a failure of a man, and you are now useless to me,” she paused. “At least, you’re useless alive.” Before Zayn could even blink Nia forced her dagger right through his throat. His blood splattered out onto her face and the walls behind him and he made a few choked gurgling sounds before his body collapsed into a heap on the ground._

_Nia turned from the body and didn’t spare it another glance as she spoke to her guards, “Take the body. String it up in front of Saipan. I want everyone to see it and know that no one fails me without suffering the consequences.”_

_Two guards quickly moved to pick up and remove the body to do as they were told. “Take the prisoner to a cell. I’ll deal with him later.” Two more guards came and lifted the prisoner, leading him to his cell._

_The rest of the room was silent as Nia retook her throne before finally one of them spoke. “Queen Nia, what are we going to do? What are your orders?”_

_"Prepare for a public execution,” Nia ordered._

_“What would that accomplish?” he asked. “The Commander and her army are nearly here, we need some plan to attack or defend ourselves.”_

_“The Trikru army won’t face much more resistance before they reach Saipan. Their army includes the weak traitorous citizens of my clan and the remaining coalition army. I can’t do much to defeat their army, but if I can defeat their leader, the army will crumble. This execution will discredit Lexa kom Trikru. Her army will learn that she is not who she says she is and they will come crawling to a leader who is more capable,” Nia said, her arrogance clear in her plan._

_The people in the room cleared out shortly after that, all but Ontai and Nia remained. Ontari walked towards her Queen, “You plan to use Wanheda to discredit the Commander,” Ontari stated and it wasn’t a question_

_"No. Wanheda is not going to be able to help us. But The Shadow, she can,” Nia said._

_Ontari’s eyebrow rose, “She will never agree to work for you again.”_

_"_ _She will. That obnoxious Skai girl will provide enough incentive,” Nia said with confidence. “I’ll need you in the trees during the execution. If Wanheda disobeys me, if she tries anything, kill her.”_

_Ontari smirked at the order, “With pleasure.”_

_"Good,” Nia smiled. “Now let’s go prepare our executioner.”_

/

Lexa was pacing in front of her throne. Her army had just successfully taken over Dreshal and now that everything had settled down she was in her war tent with too much on her mind. It had been a few days since Clarke had been taken and Lexa’s mind hasn’t strayed from the blonde since. She knows that Clarke and Raven must be struggling right now, and the fact that she can’t help is really getting to Lexa.

The only good thing is that they are very very close to Saipan which means they’re close to finding Nia and ending this war, and they’re close to finding Clarke.

Lexa didn’t have much time to herself before Zora, Octavia, Bellamy, Echo, and Lincoln entered her tent. Lexa stopped pacing and waited to hear their update. “Heda, Chief Joanna of Delphi Clan has just arrived. All clan leaders that are allied with you are now all present.”

Lexa nodded, “Good I will speak with them later. What else?”

Echo was the next to step forward, which was a little bit of a surprise as the Azgeda girl had avoided speaking to mostly everyone just to keep a low profile, but Lexa was willing to hear what she had to say. “Heda, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I think I can help.”

Lexa raised a curious eyebrow, “Go on.”

“Queen Nia is terrible leader. She treats her people very unfairly.”

“I already know this Echo. How is it that you can help?” Lexa asked.

“There are people who don’t support her. A rebel group among Azgeda full of spies and warriors. It’s not large enough to fight back against Nia and her guard on its own, but it is a decent size. Let me go ahead into Saipan and find some of them. They may have knowledge that can help us win this war,” Echo requested.

Lexa inclined her head as she thought over the request. The knowledge would be useful, but could she trust Echo? Could she trust the information that Echo could possibly return with? If Echo failed and was caught how big would the consequences be?

“They may be able to help us find Wanheda,” Echo added softly after a moment of no response from Lexa.

Lexa’s eyes scanned the girls face before her need to find Clarke won out, “Fine, ride ahead and find out what you can. Return as soon as you have any useful information.”

Echo bowed her head. “Sha Heda,” she said and she turned to leave the tent with Bellamy right behind her to say a proper goodbye.

Lexa watched as they left and took a deep breath before moving and dropping down into her throne. She was stressed and she was hurting and she trusted the three people remaining in the tent enough to show a little of those feelings.

“We will find her Lexa,” Zora said softly but with determination knowing that Clarke was the reason Lexa was in so much pain. “We’re almost there.”

“What if it’s too late. She’s been a prisoner for days. Nia could have killed her by now,” Lexa said with a tinge of fear.

“No way,” Octavia piped up. “There’s no way that Clarke or Raven would lose their fight to that bitch. They’re both still alive and we’re going to find them.”

Before Lexa could respond, Indra’s voice rang out from outside the tent, “Heda, the clan leaders are present and waiting to meet with you.”

Lexa sighed and sat up straighter in her throne, any previous emotion showing on her face slipping away behind her usual mask. “Send them in.”

The tent flap opened and all the clan leaders entered and Octavia and Lincoln both left.

They spoke for a while about what their plan was from here. Dreshal was the last village in Azgeda that would pose much of a threat to Lexa’s army, so the next move was to take over Saipan. There they would be able to find and stop the Queen and those allied with her and end this war. The deadzone to the far north would serve well to keep Nia and her army from retreating, so the two armies would meet head on and one would come out victorious. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too late to find Clarke and Raven.

By nightfall, Lexa exited her war tent, clearly exhausted, but staying awake was better for her. At night her dreams would be overcome with images of what Nia could possibly be doing to Clarke and Lexa would rather be tired than haunted by those images.

She walked through the large Azgeda villages, checking on her warriors and the civilians of the village. Many of them were thankful that Lexa was here and were willing to fight by her side to end the reign of their evil Queen. She should have done something about Nia long ago, but at least she’s doing something now.

She froze when she heard feet running in her direction. She reached for her dagger and turned to meet whoever was approaching, but stopped when she saw it was Octavia. “What is it?” Lexa asked in concern.

“Heda, there’s someone here who wishes to speak with you. Come with me,” Octavia said before turning around and running back in the direction she had come.

Lexa’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she followed Octavia anyway, interested to see who was requesting her presence.

Octavia led Lexa to the prison tent and the Commander became even more intrigued by who would want to speak with her. Octavia took post at the entrance beside Lincoln who was also standing guard and Lexa slowly entered.

The first person she saw was Zora who was standing near the entrance of the tent glaring at whoever this prisoner was. When Lexa looked to see, she could feel her blood begin to boil. “You,” Lexa snarled and she stalked towards the prisoner, punching him in the jaw and then grabbing him by the throat. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you.”

“I’m here to help,” he choked. “I know where they’re keeping Clarke.”

“You are the one who turned her over to your Queen, Prince Roan,” she said with venom in her voice. Lexa had found the royal insignia on a piece of torn fabric at the scene where Clarke had been captured and remembered Clarke mentioning that Roan was the only warrior who was still able to beat her one on one.

Roan looked down at the ground and away from the Commander’s eyes. “I know. I shouldn’t have done it, but my mother still holds my love and child. I couldn’t risk their safety.”

Lexa’s grip eased up but her glare was still firmly in place, “And why would you risk them now?”

Roan took a few deep breaths before speaking, “They’ll never be safe with my mother in charge. You and Clarke are their best chance. And Clarke… I hate myself for what I did. She doesn’t deserve any of what my mother has done to her. I want to help.”

Lexa took a step back from the Prince, “How can I trust you?”

“There isn’t much I can do to prove it. All I can say is that Clarke trusted me. I need you to do the same.”

Lexa scoffed, “Clarke trusted you, and you handed her over to your mother.”

“She said she understood. It doesn’t make what I did right. Please, Heda, I want to help. I need to help. I can take you to where they’re keeping her. Please. For Clarke.” Roan basically begged.

Lexa’s eyes scanned his face and body language and what she saw was a man who was telling the truth. She nodded, “Come with me.” She turned to Zora, “Find Indra and gather Bellamy, Octavia, and Lincoln. Bring them to the war tent.”

A short time later, Lexa and all those she requested were gathered and informed of Roan’s offer to help. “Heda, this could be a trap,” Indra stated, her eyes narrowed on the Ice Prince.

“I know, but back in Polis Clarke told me she trusted him with her life, and I must trust her judgement now. I have to try. I have to find her,” Lexa said.

“What about your army? You just spoke to the clan leaders today and made a plan to move on Saipan,” Zora said.

“I will leave you and Indra in charge. The army trusts you, as do I,” Lexa replied.

“What about Echo? From what she told me, she could find some really useful information. What if you aren’t here to receive it?” Bellamy asked.

“Echo? She’s alive?” Roan repeated.

Bellamy frowned, “You know her?”

“Yes. She was a great spy for my mother, but more importantly helpful to me. There is a group of rebels in Azgeda. I was never able to meet with them because my mother always had eyes on me. Echo was able to bring me information. I asked her to help me with something a while ago and I never heard back from her. I thought she was dead,” Roan explained.

“Well she’s not, and she’s trying to meet with some of those rebels to get us some information,” Bellamy said.

“That information could be very valuable,” Roan said. “Some of the rebels are actually high up in my mother’s ranks. They may know something important,” he said to Lexa.

“I can ride out to find her,” Bellamy offered. “I’ll find her, tell her what’s going on and you can pick a place for us to meet. We’ll meet you there and figure out what to do with any information she may have.”

“Entering Saipan will be very dangerous for someone from Skaikru,” Roan warned.

Bellamy shook his head, “Doesn’t matter. Clarke and Echo, they’re worth it.”

The group spoke further, coming up with a plan before Lexa, Roan, and Bellamy all gathered their horses and left Dreshal to travel to Saipan. They had some people to save and a war to win.

/

Raven groaned loudly as she slowly opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry and her entire body was aching in ways she didn’t even know was possible.

The light in the room was dim, but to her, it was blinding. She groaned again as she blinked and tried to clear up her vision and ease the headache she was feeling.

“Raven?” She heard a voice call from across from her.

Raven looked over at the blonde who was chained to the wall in front of her. “Clarke?”

“I’m here,” she said. “You’re ok.”

“How long have I been out,” Raven croaked.

“A while,” Clarke answered. She wasn’t sure on time because Nia hadn’t let them out of their cell sine they’d arrived. Who knew how long it had been.

“What happened,” she asked, her memory of recent events wasn’t very clear at the moment.

“Nia tortured you to get to me. She stabbed you. You almost bled out right in front of me,” Clarke said, her voice wavering slightly.

Raven closed her eyes and willed herself to remember what had happened the last time she was awake and somehow, she was able to put her jumbled memories back together. Her eyes shot open, “Please tell me you didn’t agree.”

Clarke looked at Raven sadly. “I- I had to,” she whispered.

“Clarke, she said she wanted to use The Shadow. She’s going to have you kill someone.”

“I know,” Clarke hung her head.

“Clarke, you can’t kill anyone else. Especially not in my name. I won’t let you.”

“I’m not going to,” Clarke replied. “I’m not going to kill for her. I’m not going to let her use me anymore. I’m done.”

“So what are we gonna do?” Raven asked.

“I’m going to kill her or I’m going to die trying,” she paused. “Either way, she can’t use me anymore.”

“No, Clarke. No. That’s not happening,” Raven argued.

“What other choice is there Raven? I’m tired of killing for her and if I disobey she’ll kill you. I’m not going to let either of those things happen,” Clarke said with determination.

“We’ll figure something out. Clarke-”

“There’s no time Raven. At anytime now Nia is going to walk through that door and give me an assignment. I’m going to do whatever it takes to kill her or I’ll die trying. That’s all there is too it.”

“No, we just need-”

Raven was cut off by the sound of the door unlocking and opening and a smirking Nia and Severna entered. “It’s time Clarke,” Nia says and Severna moves to unchain Clarke’s wrists.

Her body dropped heavily to the ground as she’s let free and Severna quickly ties her hands behind her back before standing her up and leading her out of the room.

“No. Clarke listen to me. You can’t do this,” Raven begs as Clarke is ushered out of the room.

“Goodbye Raven,” Clarke says and then the door closes and Clarke is gone.

/

“She’s in this building,” Roan says as he leads Lexa to the room he last knew his mother was keeping Clarke and Raven. He had led Lexa into a Saipan through a secret entrance that not many knew about in the back of the village. It’s the reason why they missed the huge execution platform that had been set up outside the entrance of Saipan and they missed all the citizens gathering around it.

The building didn’t have many guards around it, but Roan didn’t seem to think much of it. He led Lexa into the building and up a few flights, taking out the occasional guard they passed on the way until they came up to the door he was looking for.

Roan pulled out a key he had snagged from one of the guards he killed and he unlocked the door, walking in with Lexa behind him.

Raven’s head shot up at the sound of the door being opened and she sighed in relief at seeing Lexa. “Oh thank god. Get me out of here,” Raven said and she watched as Roan walked over and began to unchain her wrists.

“Where’s Clarke?” Lexa asked as her eyes scanned the room, stopping on the wall where two chains, similar to Raven’s, were hanging and a blood splatter painted the wall and floor.

“Nia took her, and Clarke is about to do something that’s probably going to get herself killed. We need to move. Now.” Raven said.

Roan finally unlocked the chains and Raven leaned heavily against the wall as she rubbed her wrists. Her entire body was screaming at her to let her rest, but Clarke was in danger so she was ignoring it.

“What are you talking about?” Lexa asked, her heart rate picking up in fear.

“I don’t exactly know. Nia said she wanted to use The Shadow for another mission. Clarke didn’t want to, but Nia almost killed me. The only reason she didn’t was because Clarke gave in,” Raven explained.

“Clarke won’t do what my mother orders, not anymore. She won’t kill for my mother again.” Roan says.

“I know. She said she’d either kill Nia or die trying. We all know that Nia is going to be prepared for that. Clarke’s beaten and in pain, her hands are tied, she has no weapons, and Nia is sure to have her own weapons and tons of guards with her, which means Clarke is going to do something suicidal. We need to move before that happens,” Raven said, but when she tried to stand her legs gave out. Roan was quick to react and he scooped her up into his arms. “Thanks,” Raven mumbled into his chest.

“We need to go,” Roan said turning to Lexa.

She nodded, “Let’s go where we said we’d meet Bellamy. Hopefully he’s found Echo and she can tell us where Nia’s taken Clarke.”

The Prince nodded and led the way out of the prison, Raven still held firmly in his grasp.

They travelled quickly but carefully through Saipan until they made it to their meeting point. Luckily for them Bellamy and Echo were both there waiting.

“Raven!” Bellamy said as he ran to Roan who was still holding her. His eyes widened as he took in the state of his friend, his sister. “What the hell did she do to you?”

“Oh you know. Just your usual torture techniques here on the ground.”

“My Prince,” Echo bowed her head as Bellamy and Raven continued to talk.

“Echo, it’s good to see you. I didn’t think I ever would again,” Roan said.

“My apologies on that,” Echo replied.

“Enough,” Lexa said, ending both pairs as they were reuniting. “We don’t have time for this. We need to find Clarke.”

“About that,” Echo said hesitantly.

“Spit it out,” Lexa growled. She knew she was running out of time and she needed to move quickly.

“Nia has set up for an execution just outside the gates of Saipan. She’s required everyone in Saipan to attend and she knows that your army is on the way and scouts are already in the tree lines. The execution is set up so that everyone can see it,” Echo explained.

Lexa’s face drained of all color. “No,” she whispered

“They’re going to execute Clarke,” Bellamy said his hands tightening into fists.

“No,” Raven whispered, putting the pieces together in her head. “They’re not. Clarke is going to execute someone else.”

/

The platform was set and everyone in Saipan was gathered around it. The leaders of each clan allying with Nia were seated in a throne on the left side of the platform and an empty throne was there waiting for Nia.

Clarke had dressed in The Shadow’s gear, minus any weapons. She was hoping that she would get a chance to take Nia out, but in her head she knew it was near impossible. She was bound, with no weapons, and in so much pain she was struggling to stand on her own. Plus, was surrounded by eight of Nia’s best guards, all ready to move if Clarke did more than blink. She was in no shape to be attempting to assassinate a queen.

She was also very aware of what Nia wanted her to do when she stepped on that stage, and she knew that she was not going to do it. Clarke was going to publically refuse serving Nia and she was going to die for it. It was really the only option left.

Nia walked over to Clarke with a smirk, “It’s time to show everyone whose side you’re really on.”

“You won’t win,” Clarke growled back, as she was held back by two of the eight large guards.

“We’ll see about that,” Nia smiled and she stepped up onto the stage.

The crowd all silenced themselves and bowed their heads as Nia appeared on the stage. “Citizens of Azgeda,” she addressed them all in Trigedasleng. “Our war against the coalition and the Commander is almost at its end, and we are going to come out on top. Today, we are going to weaken the Commander’s army by taking out one of her men, but I would also like to show you how poor of a leader Leksa kom Trikru is. She is a liar. She puts the life of her people in danger, and in just a moment I’m going to prove that to you. But first, bring out the prisoner.”

The crowd jeered as the Shallow Valley scout was brought out across the stage by two guards. His hands were tied behind his back and he had a small limp, but other than that he looked relatively ok.

Nia raised her hand to silence the crowd and the jeering stopped. “Now, the executioner,” Nia ordered.

Clarke’s hands were untied and she was pushed out onto the stage, still weaponless. She heard the crowd gasp and a few yell as they all seemed to understand who this mysterious figure in black was. The Shadow. The assassin who had killed so many. The one who had allied themselves with the Commander who had agreed to allow the assassin to work with her even though she was a threat. The one who now stood before them ready to perform an execution for Queen Nia.

Clarke walked slowly across the stage, fighting to ignore the pain caused by every step, her head held high and she stopped when she stood beside Nia.

Nia smiled down maliciously at Clarke before turning back to the crowd. “Leksa kom Trikru believed The Shadow allied with her. She decided to trust this assassin, ignoring the previous bounty she herself had placed, and put all of her people in danger. She is not a smart leader, but I, I am. I am the leader that you all need. Fight for me and we will rid this world of that foolish Commander and control the coalition,” she turned to Clarke. “You may proceed.”

Clarke swallowed thickly. Ready to refuse the Queen’s order, but was stopped by her favorite voice. “STOP!” Lexa cried and she stepped up on the stage, disarming and killing a few of the guards on the stage who tried to block her path.

She was wearing an Azgeda cloak that had covered her head until she removed it, which is how she was able to maneuver her way through the crowd and towards the stage. That and the help of Echo and a few of her fellow rebels.

She made her way onto the stage. She stood on the right side of the platform while Nia, Clarke and the other clan leaders sat on the left. The Commander was standing in front of the man that Clarke was supposed to execute and Bellamy and Echo stepped up onto the stage behind her.

Lexa knew that Indra and Zora were leading her army to Saipan. They would be close if they weren’t already here. She just needed to buy them some time, and she wanted to try and get the people of Azgeda to turn on their Queen.

“I am Heda Leksa kom Trikru,” Lexa started, her voice as calm and regal as ever. “Commander of the twelve clans. Commander of the blood. You are done here Nia. Your reign is over. You are done treating your people like animals and you are done murdering so many innocents.”

Nia just laughed, loudly, at Lexa’s words. “No Leksa. You are done here. You are a weak and foolish leader. It’s time Azgeda shows you and everyone else who’s best." Nia turned to Clarke. “Finish him,” she said loudly motioning towards the scout who was bound and on his knees.

Clarke was about to protest when Nia whispered in her ear. “Ontari is in the tree line. One misstep and your precious Commander dies. Choose wisely.”

Clarke glared at Nia, but she does nothing to attack her, she wouldn’t win and she won’t risk Lexa’s life. She nods her head slightly and slowly walks across the platform in the direction of Lexa and the prisoner.

“Raven is free and safe. I’m here. You don’t have to do this,” Lexa says softly as Clarke approaches, looking straight into the blue of her eyes.

“I won’t put anyone else's life in danger,” Clarke says and she walks over to the rack that was set up for the execution and she grabs a sword. Nia was too far away to attack, but it didn’t matter anyway because her guards would get in the way and stop her before Clarke had even reached the Queen.

The entire crowd held their breath as they watched the events unfold in front of them. The Shadow holds a sword and she stands in front of her target, but not facing him. Instead she is facing the Commander, who doesn’t look at all worried about the fact that a notorious assassin is standing in front of her with a sword in her hand. The two are standing very close to each other, seeming to have a conversation, and everyone waits in anticipation to see what both warriors will do.

Clarke adjusts her grip on her sword’s hilt. Her eyes travel to the man she is supposed to kill and then back into the green of Lexa’s eyes. She doesn’t want to kill this man, but she also can’t kill Nia, and she can’t let Lexa be killed either. She knows what she has to do.

She stares into her favorite pair of green eyes that are begging her not to do something dangerous, but Clarke has no choice. “I’m sorry,” she whispers and she takes her sword, lays it on the ground in front of the Commander, drops to a knee and removes the hood covering her hair and face.

The crowd gasps as the identity of The Shadow is revealed, easily recognizable because nobody has hair like Clarke. Clarke stares up into a pair of shocked green eyes and her gaze never travels as she speaks with a loud, firm voice, “I laik Wanheda, Klark kom Skaikru, Mountain Slayer, Commander of Death. I am The Shadow, and I turn myself over to the Commander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you didn't expect that!
> 
> How do you think Clarke is going to get out of this one?


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it's been a long time and I'm really sorry for that, but I've been working hard these past couple of days to get this chapter ready. We're really close to the end now so I hope you guys stick around for it. Anyway I hope I don't disappoint with this chapter. Let me know what you think! Enjoy!
> 
> Warning: Violence

Roan was breathing heavily as he pushed himself quickly through the trees with Raven in his arms and two Azgeda rebels following behind him. The mechanic had passed out shortly after him and Lexa had freed her. He needed to get the injured girl to a healer and he needed to speak with the leaders of the Commander’s army.

Indra, Zora, and Luna were all seated inside a small tent. Their army was approaching Saipan and they were growing close to the city, but they stopped to give their army a short break and wait for some sign from their Heda.

“Not long now before we reach Saipan,” Indra stated.

“What exactly is the plan for when we get there?” Luna questioned.

“Lexa left us in charge of her army. She wanted us to get close to Saipan and prepared to launch an attack. She said she would return to us to give us our orders and if she doesn’t return by dusk we are to attack,” Zora replied.

Luna opened her mouth to ask another question, but a commotion outside caught their attention and they left the tent to find out what was going on.

It didn’t take Roan long to reach the army. Thankfully they were already close to Saipan. He burst into the camp immediately catching the attention of the guards on watch. Octavia was the first to reach the Prince, but she barely acknowledged him as her eyes focused on what, or rather who, was in his arms. “Oh my god, Raven!” Octavia exclaimed. “Abby. Someone get Abby!” Octavia yelled as she took in the currently unconscious and injured form of her friend.

“I’m right here,” Abby yelled as she rushed onto the scene. “Jackson, Nyko get her to my tent, now!” 

The other two healers did as they were told, gently taking the unconscious girl out of the Prince’s arms and carrying her away to the medical tent.

“What the hell happened?” Octavia questioned as Indra, Luna, and Zora all appeared from behind her.

“There’s no time,” Roan said through heavy breaths. “We must go now.”

“Slow down,” Luna said, “Come with us and tell us what happened.” She ordered and led the group back into their tent to discuss.

Roan impatiently stood in the tent, with the two other Azgeda rebels, before the four women and he quickly explained what had happened, and then told them the plan. “The city itself is not currently occupied. Nia has required just about everyone to be present for a public execution, which she has set up outside the walls of Saipan. She wants not only her people to see, but yours too, because she knows at the very least you have scouts in the trees that will be able to see what she’s doing. Lexa is planning on interrupting Nia which means that they’ll both be on the stage and both of them will be arguing, trying to gain the support of the crowd and make the other look weak.”

“These two,” Roan motioned to the two rebels behind him, “Will lead some of your army through Saipan and into the crowd. That way the Commander will have vocal supporters. Once people start voicing their support for Heda, more of the Azgeda citizens will feel comfortable enough to show their support as well. Once we get the people on Heda’s side we will be able to end Nia’s show and put a stop to her rule once and for all,” Roan explained. The plan was pretty vague. Him and Lexa and the others hadn’t had a lot of time to come up with a plan, and they weren’t entirely sure what Nia’s intentions were up on the stage, but they came up with the best plan that they could.

“What about the rest of the army? We won’t be able to sneak everyone into the crowd,” Indra questioned.

“The rest of the army will continue moving closer to Saipan. I don’t know that this will end without a fight, so we will need an army ready to move just in case. Look, we need to move now, we don’t have a lot of time.”

“Ok then. Let’s do it,” Zora agreed, knowing that there wasn’t any time to discuss details, and she quickly left the tent to gather some men to get into the crowd. 

It didn’t take long for the army to split into the necessary groups and for everyone to be ready to move. Once they were set, they quickly took off on their way to Saipan. 

/

The crowd was silent. Clarke was on her knees in a sign of surrender and the Commander was staring down at her with a look that, to most was calm and unaffected, but to Clarke was shock with a tinge of fear. The tension in the air was thicker than anything anyone had ever experienced as all were focused on the kneeling blonde. 

At first, the silence was deafening, and then Nia’s cruel, harsh laughter cut into the silence like a knife. 

“Why am I not surprised that the Commander of Death is the most dangerous assassin alive,” Nia drawled, a vicious smirk on her face. Clarke’s move was unexpected, but she could play off of it. All she had to do was get the crowd on her side and get them to turn against Lexa.

Lexa’s gaze slowly drifted from Clarke to Nia, and if looks could kill, Nia would be a goner. “Don’t pretend you didn’t know,” Lexa spat. Her anger was at a level she had not felt in a long long time. She hated this woman more than she could ever hate anyone or anything for what she did to Clarke, and now she hated her even more because Clarke was in a dangerous position because of her. 

The two women were locked in a stare down and neither of them noticed that the crowd watching them was slowly growing larger. Even those in the crowd didn’t notice as their attention was solely focused on the three women on the stage.

“Wanheda was a free citizen of Azgeda. I wasn’t watching her every move. She was my guard when I needed one, nothing more than that,” Nia defended, and Lexa scoffed at the blatant lie. 

“But you,” Nia continued. “You didn’t even know that the girl listening in on your meetings, the girl you let near innocent men, women, and children, the one fighting beside you and your army, the girl you let into your bed, was a wanted assassin. The most deadly assassin in your coalition. The one you swore to capture and lay to rest.” Nia cocked her head to the side, “Or did you?”

“No!” Clarke spoke for the first time since her reveal, pushing herself up to her feet. “She had no idea who I was,” Clarke said. She wasn’t going to let the people think Lexa lied to them and put them in danger. “I kept it a secret. She didn’t know-”

“I knew,” Lexa said loudly and firmly, so everyone in the crowd could finally hear the truth. Clarke’s head shot to Lexa’s, her eyes wide at the admission. Lexa looked at Clarke with a soft look in her eyes, “I will not lie to my people any longer.”

“I knew Wanheda was The Shadow,” Lexa admitted to her people, and she was met with loud gasps of surprise. “I put my faith in her because I knew she would never hurt me or my people. Queen Nia tortured her. Stabbed, scarred, and mutilated her body. Forced her to serve the Queen’s bidding by threatening her people. She used the last man of the mountain to do it.”

The crowd jeered at the mention of the mountain. If Nia had joined forces with one of them, it would be seen as the ultimate betrayal. “Nia threatened to kill every last member of Skaikru with the same weapon that destroyed TonDC, so Wanheda became The Shadow to keep them safe. That’s why I trusted her. I knew The Shadow was not a threat to any of my people.”

Nia could see the crowd was listening to Lexa, and she needed to stop them from turning on her quickly. “You lie!” She yelled.

“She speaks the truth!” A voice said from the crowd, and it split as Prince Roan walked forward with the other clan leaders who supported Lexa behind him. “You forced Wanheda to serve you just as you forced me,” Roan declared while glaring at his mother. “The people don’t deserve to be treated the way you treat them mother. I won’t let it stand any longer.”

“You could never be King,” Nia scoffed, knowing that was the direction her son was leading. “You’re too weak. Just as the Commander herself is. Too naive and weak to lead her people well. She was too afraid to stand and fight at the mountain, she lied to her people about The Shadow, all so she could keep the woman she has fallen for safe, but by doing so she put everyone else in danger. The Commander is a fool and is not fit to be the leader of this coalition,” Nia yelled not only at her son, but to the entire crowd that was watching. She could tell that she had some support, and the clan leaders of those who had sided with her were all nodding along with her as she spoke, but she wasn’t sure if it was enough.

“You will not speak of the Commander this way,” Indra snarled from her spot on the stage behind Roan, her loyalty to Lexa ever strong.

“I will speak of this girl however I want. She is no leader, and I will prove it when I end her life,” Nia laid down a challenge, a bit informally, but a challenge nonetheless.

“You have no right to challenge Heda-”

“I accept,” Lexa declared before Indra even finished speaking. “Two hours, and we will end this once and for all.”

Nia smirked as she nodded and started to walk off the stage, but before she left she stopped and turned around. “Accepted. Oh and Commander, don’t forget about your new prisoner,” she said as her eyes looked to Clarke.

The blonde was staring daggers at Nia, but made no protest as two guards came from behind her, each taking a hold of one of her arms. She kept her gaze locked on Nia as she felt a rope secure her wrists behind her back and the then the two guards pulled her away forcing them to break eye contact. She followed the guards as they led her off the stage and away to where she assumed would be her new cell until a decision could be made about her fate. 

/

Clarke’s hands were freed when she was when the two Trikru guards left her in her cell. It was a much nicer cell than any she had ever spent time in in Azgeda, and she was actually surprised a prison cell this calm and well maintained existed in Saipan.

She was seated on the single bench that was in the cell, her back leaning up against the walls. Her entire body ached from her recent torture and her mind felt heavy from the recent events up on the stage. 

She was tired and in pain and concerned not only for her future, but more importantly Lexa’s. She had accepted another challenge against Nia, putting her life in danger once again. Damn her and her unwavering loyalty to her people.

Her thoughts started to spiral to all the outcomes that could come of the recent fight, but before her thoughts got too dark, the creaking of her cell door sounded and in walked the subject of Clarke’s thoughts.

The door closed behind the Commander, leaving the two women alone in the cell and Clarke rose to her feet, fighting back a wince, and took a step towards the woman she loved.

Lexa could read the pain on her lovers face and from her body language so she took the few remaining steps forward and the two crashed into a loving embrace, Clarke holding on tightly as Lexa wrapped protectively around her while making sure not to harm Clarke in any way.

The two remain wrapped around one another until Lexa finally pulled away. “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone who you were,” she admonished softly.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered. “She had Ontari in the trees, it was the only way I could keep you and the Shallow Valley prisoner safe.”

“But not you,” Lexa said. Clarke’s decision to reveal herself had put the blonde in a very difficult situation, and Lexa had no choice but to hold the blonde as her prisoner until she could figure something out.

Clarke nodded slowly. “It doesn’t matter. You’re what’s important. I’m a killer Lexa, and no matter how you look at it, that’s what I am. I’ll get what I deserve.”

“Hey, I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Lexa promised with determination. “We will figure something out Clarke. I swear it.”

Clarke smiled sadly and reached up with her left hand to cup Lexa’s cheek. “I love you,” she whispered as she brought their lips together in a loving kiss.

“And I you,” Lexa breathed when they broke apart to breathe.

“Now,” Clarke spoke again, this time her voice slightly more disapproving, “What the hell are you doing agreeing to Nia’s challenge.”

Lexa sighed, already having known that the blonde would not be fond of her decision to accept. “This all ends with her death Clarke. Accepting her challenge is the quickest way to reach that end with the smallest loss of life,” Lexa explained.

“It’s not going to be that simple Lex,” Clarke said. “She fights dirty.”

“People like her always do,” Lexa acknowledged.

Clarke sighed. She didn’t like it, but Lexa made a good point, and she knew Lexa was more than capable of winning. “You better not die out there.”

A small grin formed on Lexa’s lips. “As you wish.”

Clarke exhaled a quick laugh and wrapped her arms around the brunette once again. “Be safe Lexa. Beja,” she whispered into Lexa’s ear as she held her tight in their embrace.

“Always,” Lexa replied holding onto Clarke tightly.

“I need to be there Lexa,” Clarke said after a few minutes of the two just holding each other. “I know I’m still a prisoner, but I need to see what happens.”

“And you will,” Lexa agreed. She squeezed Clarke a little tighter for a moment before finally separating. “For now, I must go,” Lexa said.

Clarke nodded and pulled Lexa in for one more kiss. “Kick her ass for me,” Clarke whispered against her lips.

Lexa smiled as she captured Clarke’s lips in a heated kiss one more time, “For you, ai hodnes, anything.”

/

After Lexa had left Clarke’s cell, she spoke with Indra, Luna, and Zora for a bit before she went off to meditate and then stretch her muscles to prepare for her upcoming fight.

It wasn’t long before the time for the fight came. The challenge had to happen a little outside of Saipan as the city couldn’t house Azgeda and all of the Commander’s army.

A ring had been formed in a large clearing and everyone was present to watch as the two leaders came to their final confrontation.

Lexa had kept her word for Clarke to be present at the fight, and the blonde was standing in the front row, but her hands were bound in front of her body and two guards were stationed behind her.

Lexa couldn’t keep her eyes off of her love as she stretched her muscles and waited for the fight to begin. 

She didn’t have to wait long until Luna stepped into the ring and the crowd grew silent. Lexa stood tall and confident as Nia came up to stand beside her. The two warriors faced the Floukru leader, both of them decked out in their formal warrior gear and war paint and strapped up with multiple weapons. “Hashta soulou gonplei, bilaik won hedon noumou: do souda wan op deyon,” Luna began, reciting the same thing that Titus would have said if he were here. She raised “Yo na jomp in.”

The two opponents took a few steps away from each other as they unsheathed their weapons and prepared to fight. The voices of the crowd grew louder once again as everyone waited in anticipation for someone to make the first move.

Lexa began to circle her greatest enemy as Nia adjusted her grip on her sword and faced the Commander. “You’re going to die today Lexa,” Nia taunted, trying to get a rise out of Lexa.

Lexa didn’t take the bait though as she kept her eyes locked on her target, studying her every move, looking for a weakness. 

Nia’s eyes narrowed as Lexa continued to study her and eventually, the Queen grew tired of waiting. She charged at Lexa with a flurry of blows, each of them blocked by the Commander’s sword.

The Queen took a step back after her failed attack and began to study Lexa again. The two went back to circling each other as they waited for their moment.

Nia knew this would be a difficult challenge. She would never admit it out loud, but she knew that Lexa was a formidable opponent, and she knew she needed to distract Lexa in order to get the advantage. “When I’m finished with you,” Nia started taunting her again, “Clarke will be next. I’ve heard her screams more times then I can count, but I never ended them.” Nia could see the anger darkening her opponents expression and continued pushing, “I will make her scream in pain until she can’t scream any longer. I will make her beg for her death and then I will take my blade and remove her head. Much like I did to someone else, if I recall correctly.”

Those were the words that made Lexa snap as she snarled loudly and lunged towards Nia with a quick, powerful, but slightly unorganized onslaught of strikes. 

Nia backpedaled as she moved to block all of the Commander’s blows, but not without one strike making contact and slicing into her upper arm.

She grunted in pain as she was able to separate herself from Lexa and take a moment to regain her breath. She could see the frenzied look in Lexa’s eyes her eyes widened as the Commander came at her again, just as quickly and just as aggressive.

Nia was quickly realizing that poking the bear may not have been her wisest move. An angry Lexa was one that nobody wanted be on the receiving end of a stare from, let alone a sword. And even more dangerous than an angry Lexa, was an angry and protective Lexa.

Nia wasn’t going to give in though and when she was knocked onto her back, she grabbed a handful of dirt and launched it at the Commander as she used the distraction to roll to her feet.

Lexa had expected the move, and was able to move out of the way, but it gave Nia time to return to her feet and launch her own attack which had Lexa playing defense. 

After another round of exchanging blows the two women found themselves caught in a deadlock, but Lexa was the one to break it and she delivered an elbow to the Queen’s nose and her sword sliced down the Queen’s back as they moved passed each other.

Nia howled out in pain and turned around to glare at the Commander, and their fight continued.

/

Clarke was watching the fight closely from the sideline wincing when Lexa took a hit and smiling when the Queen took one. She watched as the two went back and forth, occasionally exchanging words, but mostly just exchanging blows.

Clarke watched as Lexa delivered a punch to the Queen’s jaw, sending her stumbling backwards before she was able to regain her footing. 

Both women were breathing heavily, covered in a sheen of sweat and a few cuts and bruises, but the Queen was definitely looking worse than Lexa.

After Nia took another hit from the Commander she created some space between her and her opponent and made a motion with her wrist. To most, the motion would look like Nia was stretching, maybe adjusting her grip on her sword, but Clarke knew better. It was a sign.

Her eyes immediately left the two women fighting as she scanned the area for who Nia could have possibly been signaling, and a she almost missed it, but a glint of metal from a distance up in a tree caught her eye. There was no time to react, so Clarke did the only thing she could. “LEXA, MOVE!” she screamed.

Lexa’s eyes had been trained on Nia, but Clarke’s order hit her ears, and she didn’t even need to think about it, her body rolled to the side and she only felt a small pain as an arrow nicked the flesh on her side. It wasn’t the best feeling, but it was much better than what would have happened had Clarke not warned her.

Once the the crowd realized what had happened, all hell break loose as the few remaining warriors loyal to Nia charged into the ring to protect their Queen and kill the Commander.

The coalition’s army however, was quick to react, as they had been ready for something like this to happen thanks to the last challenge that Nia had cheated on.

Lexa’s vision of Queen Nia was disrupted as warriors charged into the ring to fight, so Lexa turned to find the one person she needed to make sure was okay.

A sense of dread filled the Commander’s stomach as she realized Clarke’s hands were still bound and she was weaponless. She immediately took off in the last direction she remembered the blonde being, needing to be by her side.

She weaved through the warriors all around her as she approached Clarke’s last location and a flurry of blonde hair caught her attention.

Clarke was face to face with a man much larger than her, holding an axe, ready to kill. “Clarke!” She yelled as she sprinted towards the defenseless blonde, who turned out to not be as defenseless as she looked.

Clarke ignored the call of her name from behind her as she focused on the man intent to kill her. He charged towards her and raised his axe, poised to kill. 

Clarke waited for the exact moment to launch herself up in the air, flipping her body over her opponent, and holding her hands out and apart to use the blade of his axe to slice through the ropes around her wrists.

Clarke landed on her feet behind the man she had just used to free herself and then she snapped his neck before he could even turn around.

Lexa watched the blonde, in awe of her skill, before she saw Clarke drop to her knee and reach for her side with a wince. Lexa immediately sobered up and sprinted to her love’s side. “Clarke are you alright?”

“I’m fine Lexa,” she said as she pushed herself up to her feet. 

Lexa’s eyes scanned the blonde’s form, catching sight of blood staining her shirt on her left side. She must have reopened one of her previous wounds. “Lexa, I’m fine, really,” Clarke said again, regaining the brunettes attention. “This fight isn’t over yet. Ontari was the one who shot you with that arrow and I need to go after her. You need to find Queen Nia.”

“No,” Lexa argued, her protective instincts on overdrive. “I’m not leaving your side.”

“You have to,” Clarke argued back. “You said it yourself, this all ends with Nia’s death. You need to end this, and I need to end Ontari.”

“Clarke, everyone knows you’re The Shadow now. You’re not safe from anyone anymore. Anyone wanting revenge could go after you. Plus you’re still injured.”

“Lexa, you have to do this. I will be fine, I promise. Do this. For your people, for me, for Costia, for yourself. You need to do this.”

Lexa stared into the stubborn blonde’s eyes and knew that she was right. She looked deep into her lover’s eyes. “May we meet again.”

Clarke reached out to squeeze Lexa’s hand, “We will,” and then she was off.

“Heda! Nia is trying to flee. We must catch up to her. This way,” Indra yelled as she ran towards her Commander.

Lexa nodded and turned to follow Indra as she led the Commander through the battlefield in the direction the scouts had spotted Nia fleeing. They met up with Zora, Luna, Roan, Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, and a few others as the group pushed forward to find the Queen and finally end this.

/

Clarke had grabbed a sword and picked up a few extra knives from the bodies on the ground as she made her way towards the last place she had seen Ontari.

She knew the assassin would have been the one Nia trusted most to take a shot like that from such a far distance at Lexa, and she was ready to end Ontari’s miserable existence once and for all. 

She took down a couple of Ice Nation warriors as they charged towards her on her way, until finally, she reached her destination. 

She stopped just below the tree Ontari had made her shot from and scanned her surrounds, just barely spotting a figure in the shadows and rolling to dodge a dagger thrown at her head. Her body was bleeding and aching, but she ignored it as she came face to face with one of the three women she wanted to see dead.

“I’ve waited a long time for the opportunity to kill you,” Ontari sneered as she stepped out of the shadows. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Clarke replied, her eyes locked on Ontari as the brunette slowly moved closer towards her. “Unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll succeed.” 

Ontari smirked, “We’ll see about that,” and then she lunged.

The two assassins went back and forth, both knowing the other’s moves too well. They could read their opponents next move before the other even made it, blocking their opponents attack as one tried to get the upper hand.

The upper hand seemed to belong to Ontari though, as Clarke’s tired and injured body grew slower and weaker.

Ontari brought her sword down on Clarke who used her own sword to block the attack and the two weapons were locked together in between the two bodies.

Ontari used all her strength to push forward and Clarke could tell she wasn’t going to be able to win in this game of strength. Her body was burning and her muscles were trembling, teetering on the edge of folding and letting Ontari kill her.

Clarke knew she couldn’t let that happen though, but she knew that in order for her to win, she was going to have to absorb a good deal of pain. 

With her last remaining reserve of strength she redirected Ontari’s sword toward her shoulder and let her arms give in to their fatigue. With Clarke’s sword now out of the way, the force Ontari had been applying pushed her sword forward and right into Clarke’s upper shoulder.

She cried out in pain as the sword dug deep into her flesh and she was eye to eye with a smirking Ontari. “You’re finished,” she said with a confident smirk, only for it to drop and her eyes to widen as she felt a searing pain in her abdomen.

“Yu gonplei ste odon,” Clarke grit out, trying to mask the pain in her voice, as she twisted her knife and watched the life fade from Ontari’s eyes, and the assassin dropped to the ground in a lifeless heap.

Clarke stumbled backwards for a moment, the sword still lodged in her shoulder, as her vision went a little blurry. She knew she needed to return to the battlefield and find someone who could help her or she would die here in the woods beside Ontari.

She used the little energy she had left to wander back onto the battlefield, but there wasn’t much of a battle left. The coalition army had greatly outnumbered those on Nia’s side. Even some of the citizens of Azgeda had fought against their own Queen.

Clarke ungracefully stumbled around until she finally reached a group she recognized to be a mixture of Skaikru and Trikru. She caught the eye of one of the healers who she thinks is Nyko, but her vision is too blurry to tell, and then everything went black.

/

Lexa ran through the trees with her entourage at her back until they were stopped by a group of Azgeda warriors. The symbols on their uniform marked them as Nia’s royal guard. There were a good number of them, but not too many for Lexa’s friends to handle. 

“We’ve got this Heda,” Zora said as she unsheathed her sword. “Go find Queen Nia.”

Lexa looked back at the group that had followed her and they all nodded, confirming that they had the situation under control, so she waited for the two sides to begin fighting before moving past them and back on Queen Nia’s trail.

She followed the signs of Nia’s retreat and knew she was close. Nia was around here somewhere. She continued down the path she knew Nia had gone until she was blocked by a woman standing on the path. Lexa didn’t know who she was, but she immediately disliked the woman, for a reason that was more than the fact that she was defending the Ice Queen.

“Stand aside,” Lexa ordered, knowing it wouldn’t work, but figuring it couldn’t hurt to try.

The woman didn’t respond verbally, but she smirked and pulled out a jagged looking knife and it was the only response Lexa needed to know this woman wasn’t going to listen to her.

Lexa unsheathed her sword and then the woman charged at her. They went back and forth a little before the woman’s knife made contact with Lexa’s skin, causing the brunette to grunt in pain. The woman laughed. “You know, this knife sliced into Wanheda’s flesh more times than I could count. Her screams were always the loudest when I used this to mark her flesh over and over again.”

Lexa’s entire frame tensed as her mind put the pieces of this woman’s identity together. Severna, the bitch who had tortured Clarke mercilessly.

Lexa saw red and she let out a fierce battle cry, startling the Azgeda woman. Lexa moved with speed unlike ever before and Severna didn’t stand a chance. She did her best to defend herself, but the Commander was too powerful and her sword sliced deeply into the woman’s stomach.

Severna dropped to her knees, a choking sound coming from her throat as blood dribbled down her chin. “Nau yu wan op,” Lexa growled lowly, not giving this woman the warriors sendoff to send her spirit on to the next life.

A few seconds later Severna took her last breath and Lexa’s attention shifted to the Queen. She continued down the path she had been following, leaving Severna’s body behind to rot.

It didn’t take long for her to spot Nia as she continued to flee. Lexa reached into her boot where she kept her spare dagger and launched it through the air, and the blade sunk into the flesh of Nia’s back. 

The Queen cried out as she fell forward and then she rolled over to a sitting position, but by the time she turned around, Lexa was on her. 

Nia looked up onto the hard face of the Commander and she knew it was over for her. “Fine then,” Nia growled. “Finish it.”

“No,” Lexa said as she stared down at the Ice Queen. “The people deserve their justice. I will not take that from them, no matter how badly I want to kill you,” Lexa growled and she smashed the hilt of her sword onto the Queen’s temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it! please let me know what you think. I have my own ideas but I really want to know what you guys think. How do you think Clarke is going to get out of her situation? How do think this story is going to end? I really want to hear your thoughts. One thing I will promise is that this story will have a happy ending for Clexa so don't worry about that. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you all enjoyed what I wrote!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed Chapter 1! This is definitely one of the longer chapters that I'm going to write. I really don't think any more of them will be that long. I'm not sure how frequently I'm going to update, but I'll do my best not to keep you waiting long. I hope you stick with this story and don't be afraid to comment and let me know what you think. I'll see you guys next update!


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